Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Tidus/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 13:59, 22 December 2016 [1].

Tidus[edit]

Nominator(s): Tintor2 (talk) 01:31, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about Tidus the male main character from the 2001 video game Final Fantasy X as well as a playable one in other crossover titles. I originally didn't make this article Good but I expanded some parts with out-of-universe information to the point a former user congratulated me. Since my English is not very good, I've had this article copy-edited by a member from the Guild of Copy Editors. The article's design is based on the recent FA Final Fantasy character Lightning and my first FA, Allen Walker. I'll try to live up to all of users' demands to make it FA. Regards. Tintor2 (talk) 01:31, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Also, I would like to invite all the users who helped in the article's last peer review. User:Aoba47, 凰兰时罗, User:Jaguar, User:ProtoDrake, Freikorp.Tintor2 (talk) 01:37, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Jaguar[edit]

"Shortly after his arrival, he meets the fledgling summoner Yuna and her guardians" - I am a bit confused on what 'fledgling' means in this context
"Both actors enjoyed voicing the character, and Morita also did the motion capture" - awkward, try Morita also 'performed the motion capture
"The character has been generally well-received by video-game reviewers" - no need for the hyphen in 'video games'. Also, I would recommend changing "reviewers" to "critics"
"overcoming initial flaws in him" - awkward, try ability to overcome personal flaws
"However, critics and fans were divided on..." - here I would recommend changing this to reviewers
"Due to a negative response from female staff members, the scene was revised several times" - this would read better as The scene was revised several times due to a negative response from female staff members
" As the journey continues Tidus, losing hope that he will return home," - comma needed in between "continues" and "Tidus"
"The 1UP.com staff initially described Tidus as the "good kind of jock"" - no need for 'the'

This is impressive work. Those were all of the minor issues I found during my first read through. I'll take another look at it later. JAGUAR 17:15, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Checked, thanks for the feedback @Jaguar:.Tintor2 (talk) 21:33, 5 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. I've read through it again and I couldn't find any issues worthy enough for raising here, so I'll support this. Good work! JAGUAR 12:23, 6 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Aoba47[edit]

Support: All of my concerns have been addressed during the peer review, and the copy-edit from the WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors have improved the article as well. Great job with the article! Good luck with getting it promoted. Reading this was definitely a trip down memory lane. Aoba47 (talk) 02:25, 6 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from ProtoDrake[edit]

Support: Any concerns I might have had have been addressed by other editors, including the matter concerning sourcing the pronunciation of the character's name. It's not just a good article, it's a great article. Hope it makes it all the way to promotion. --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:59, 6 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Freikorp[edit]

Very close to supporting.

In the lead 'blitzball' is piped to "Minigames of Final Fantasy", which redirects to Recurring elements in the Final Fantasy series, which doesn't mention blitzball at all. Same problem with 'summoner' being piped to "Final Fantasy character classes", which again redirects to 'Recurring elements'.

"Nojima saw a film" - you don't know which film do you? This would be interesting.

"Tidus action figures and jewelry have been produced." This sounds too succinct to me. How about expanding the sentence to say he is a popular cosplay character, and action figures and jewellery of him have been produced.

"Tidus figures prominently" - are you sure 'figures' is the right word here?

"reveals that he is living in Besaid with Yuna as an illusion of Tidus as a boss character appears." You've lost me. He's living as an illusion of himself? What does the boss character have to do with this? The fact that it's mentioned just leaves me wanting to know who the boss is and what why it's attacking.

"Although fans objected" - I think you could word this better. I don't think it's clear to the reader why they are objecting. How about something along the lines of "Fans criticised the laughter as sounding too forced"

Fantastic work on the article. Well done. Freikorp (talk) 03:38, 7 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@Freikorp:Tried to fix that. About the film, Nojima never mentions it but I'm pretty sure it's The Sixth Sense. Thanks for the feedback.Tintor2 (talk) 12:48, 7 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Support: I made a few minor grammatical changes. My edits can be seen here. Freikorp (talk) 21:48, 7 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. I also realized just yet I forgot to put blitzball as a fictional sport.Tintor2 (talk) 21:51, 7 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Image review[edit]

File:Tidus.png: Non-free image in infobox. Using it to illustrate the character in question seems fine to me, both in terms of pertinence and WP:NFCC. Pretty unlikely that a free image would exist. Somewhat vague non-free use rationale that could use improvement.
File:JamesArnoldTaylor.jpg: Free image on Commons. Plausible EXIF, from Flickr, certified by the Flickrreviewbot. The Flickr uploader sure has a very large amount of different images. Used on other websites in lower resolution. Image shows the voice actor, whose performance is discussed in the caption and adjacent section.
File:Tidus and Luna FFX Cosplay - MCM Comic Con 2016 (27398643405).jpg: Free image on Commons. Plausible EXIF, from Flickr, certified by the Flickrreviewbot. The Flickr uploader has uploaded other images along the same theme. Used on other websites in lower resolution. Image shows cosplayers, which appear to be a common form of reception of Tidus and is discussed in the adjacent section.

Images may benefit from ALT text. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 16:58, 8 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. I expanded Tidus' non-free's rationale, but I remember already adding alt to all the images. For some reason, they never show up.Tintor2 (talk) 17:13, 8 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Also, increased the alts and non-free rationale. @Jo-Jo Eumerus:.Tintor2 (talk) 01:14, 9 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Seems like this is OK now from an image perspective. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk, contributions) 08:43, 9 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Judgesurreal777[edit]

"Tidus' character was designed by Tetsuya Nomura with a cheerful appearance (in contrast to previous Final Fantasy protagonists), and scenario writer Kazushige Nojima wanted to expand the relationship between the player and the character through the story." - There is something wrong with this sentence; it is like two very different points were mashed together into one sentence. Try a semi-colon or separate sentences.
"Tidus is voiced primarily by Masakazu Morita in Japanese and James Arnold Taylor in English. Both actors enjoyed voicing the character, and Morita also performed the motion capture." - Again, not quite right. The part about Morita doing motion capture should be put with the the voiceover, as of now it kinda dangles as its own thought.
It should be something like "personal flaws within himself, ", what is there doesn't make sense.
In the Creation Section, what kind of "concern" should be made clearer, and that the designer is referring to the traditional or historic relationship between gamer and character should also be made clearer. Also, what about it does the designer want to make different or better?
"This connection allows the player to advance Tidus' first-person narration of most of Final Fantasy X" - I honestly don't know what this means "Advance the narration?" Is it trying to say that Tidus moves the plot forward by discovering information along with the character? If so say that.
"a rough scenario" - like a rough draft? A short description? Or a scenario, like how Tidus would act in a situation? Clarify.
Let's try those fixes for now, the content is there it just needs to be clearer. Great job pushing this article! Judgesurreal777 (talk) 03:04, 9 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback. However, I can't one or two of the issues you mentioned. Could you take a good look?Tintor2 (talk) 14:47, 9 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Taken a closer look and fixed other parts you mentioned. Is this better, @Judgesurreal777:.Tintor2 (talk) 15:44, 9 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Much better, I will take one more sweep tomorrow and the be ready to support, great work! Judgesurreal777 (talk) 05:39, 10 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Alright! Based on the improvements you did and the other copywriting fixes editors have suggested and you have implemented, I believe it is ready for Featured Status. Awesome work! SUPPORT Judgesurreal777 (talk) 01:53, 12 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Gerda[edit]

Invited to a topic I am not familiar with, I have only minor concerns (and please forgive my lack of knowledge):

I think video game needs to appear in the very first sentence.
"overcome personal flaws within himself in him" remains unclear to me

Creation ...'

"undead person" - is there a link to what it means in video game?
What does "as both Tidus and Yuna separated" mean, compared to just "as Tidus and Yuna separated"?

FF X

Are Auron and Yuna linked a second time intentionally?

Reception

"In 2001, they won Game Informer's Best Couple of the Year award." To whom does that "they" refer?

. Thank you for the article! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 19:52, 10 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback @Gerda Arendt:. I edited the article to reflect your comments.Tintor2 (talk) 22:33, 10 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, only two left: "ability to overcome personal flaws within his abusive father" is still nothing I would know to interpret ;) - "as both Tidus and Yuna separated as the former vanishes" is strange in tense. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:41, 10 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Tried to split those "flaws" into another sentence and tried to explain more why Tidus vanished @Gerda Arendt:.Tintor2 (talk) 22:49, 10 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The split resulted in a "sentence" without a verb ;) - I still don't know what "both" means, - when two people separate, the names are enough, no? - English is not my first language, so input from others on the questions would be welcome. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:20, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

How about now? Still can't find both". @Gerda Arendt:.Tintor2 (talk) 16:56, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Now: "His character development that gives him the ability to overcome personal flaws such as his poor relationship with his father, Jecht, and his acceptance to stay in Spira were praised. Additionally, his romantic relationship with Yuna has been considered among the best in gaming." Forgive me not understanding: Is a poor relationship to one's father a personal flaw? Is acceptance to stay somewhere a personal flaw? His romantic with Yuna is the best what in gaming? The best romantic relationship?
"Nojima admitted he cried during the game's ending as both Tidus and Yuna separated as the former vanishes due to his creators, the spirits known as fayth, disappeared." - the both adds nothing to that, or does it and I just don't see what? - "vanishes" is present tense, "disappeared" is past tense, and who disappeared is unclear to me. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:05, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks. I tried rewriting the those sentences with present tense. Also, when writing "former" and "latter" can be used when referring to two. Still, I changed it. @Gerda Arendt:.Tintor2 (talk) 20:35, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I like the first better than before, and it's a clear construction. I still don't know what "best in gaming" means. Best what? - The other: I like the "both" gone, but something is wrong with the end " due to his creators ... disappear". Do you mean "due to his creators' disappearance? Perhaps skip the reason altogether, - it was said elsewhere, and is probably not why N. cried. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:44, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Done. By "best in gaming" I changed it in "Best in video games". Also, that's why the two of them often are notable in video games article in regards to romance in gaming.@Gerda Arendt:Tintor2 (talk) 20:55, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, support --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:11, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from GamerPro64[edit]

Comment - I randomly decided to read this article and I can't help but feel bothered by this sentence: "Because players have the option of renaming Tidus in Final Fantasy X, he is referred to with pronouns ("he" and "him") as in the previous game." There is no mention of his pronouns in the Eurogamer article linked. Also, what purpose does mentioning his pronouns have for this article? I see no absolute reason for it here. GamerPro64 05:47, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks @GamerPro64:. I removed the sentence and source. Tell if there is another thing you would to fix if could give your support.Tintor2 (talk) 14:07, 11 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from JDC808[edit]

As requested on my FAC, I'm doing a source review.

Overall, everything looks to be in order and all seem to check out in terms of reliability.

I did happen to notice an issue with linking. For example with refs 77 and 78, you have Cheat Code Central linked in ref 78, but not ref 77. Overlinking does not apply to references, so make sure all publishers, authors, etc., where applicable, are linked in the references. Another example, all of the direct game references. "Square Co", "Final Fantasy X", "PlayStation 2", and "Square EA" should all be linked.

In Ref 56, the title is "Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD Remaster". It is currently "Final Fantasy X - X-2 HD Remaster" in the ref. --JDC808 ♫ 17:36, 14 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback @JDC808:. I tried linking all references. Regards.Tintor2 (talk) 19:07, 14 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

There were some you missed, but I got them for you. I support this article's nomination. --JDC808 ♫ 21:26, 14 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks and good luck with your God of War review.Tintor2 (talk) 21:58, 14 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Krish![edit]

Support: A very well-written and beautifully structured article. It's definitely FA-worthy. Congrats mate!Krish | Talk 08:45, 20 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Closing comment[edit]

I won't hold up promotion over it but pls check the duplinks in the article -- this script highlights them. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:59, 22 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Closing note: This candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 13:59, 22 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.