Wikipedia:WikiSpeak

I chose the name WikiSpeak based on George Orwell's fictional language Newspeak, described in his novel Nineteen Eighty-Four as being "the only language in the world whose vocabulary gets smaller every year". As the essay developed, I came to realise that it owed at least as much to the pioneering work of Ambrose Bierce's The Devil's Dictionary.

It is meant to be taken no more or less seriously than either of those two works. Please feel to contribute so long as you don't breach any of wikipedia's increasingly arcane and bizarre policies or guidelines

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z

A

Administrator "assuming good faith" with a editor he has disagreed with

• administrator

The be all, and end all of Wikipedia. Alpha and omega, the ultimate wikipedian. Admins are the role models which all Wikipedians should strive to emulate. They are sooooo clearly much better than regular editors, as evidenced by their superior intellect, their outstanding article building abilities, their captivating physical attractiveness, and above all, their stupendous and awe-inspiring modesty.

(If anyone removes this, I'll block them.)

• ! (exclamation mark)

Used as a prefix to signify that whatever it is you actually did, you really did the exact opposite. For example !voting, means you're not voting even though you just did. Used preemptively to ward off having to later use allcap blue NPA and allcap blue civil when someone doesn't start their response with respect. Particularly useful for those charged with establishing consensus, as they are at liberty to ignore all !votes.

(Should be at the top, but I'm eager to avoid a justified, preventative block from an amazingly attractive admin.)

• admin coaching

One of the few ways to avoid the potentially fatal accusation of canvassing while still letting as many people as possible know that you will be initiating an RfA at the end of the month. Also designed to teach candidates the correct answers to the questions likely to be asked at their RfAs, even though nobody bothers to read the answers anyway.

• Administrators' noticeboard n.

Not quite the Slough of Despond, but you can see it from there.

• AfD n.

• A place to send an article you don't like.
• A place to send an article created by an editor you don't like.
• A place to send a potentially productive editor to spend his or her time with frivolous deletion arguments rather than with actual contributions.
• A training ground for RfA, according to your admin coach.
• A place to get someone else to add reliable sources to an article on a clearly notable subject.

• allcap blue civil

(appears on screen as such: CIVIL). Used in a similar way, often at the same time as, allcap blue NPA.

• American English

• A piece of text in which more than half of the words are spelt incorrectly.
• a good eskoose fore ritin a simpsonz artikle withowt payin no attenshun too spellin typin grammer punkchooaishun or nothin stoopid like that, no wut i'm sayin?

• assume good faith.

See good faith.

Arbcom debating whether a civility block or a community ban is more appropriate in the case of a user who has repeatedly used the word "poop".

• Arbcom.

A committee of the best and brightest editors Wikipedia has to offer, who have have dedicated three years of their lives to discussing what punishments are appropriate for a motley band of typing students, critics and friends of gays. Combines the role of CenCom with the efficiency of WorldCom.

• attack site

• Any website that's ever said anything rude about you. Sometimes called a BADSITE.

• automated tools

• When used by an administrator, a valuable time-saving device to automate tedious, repetitive tasks.
• When used by a non-administrator, an abusive mechanism to artificially boost edit count. Note that without the luxury of being able to delete the warning pages you accidentally create, it is impossible for a non-admin to hide the fact that they're doing an inept job.

B

• bad

• A degenerate form of I'm sorry, as in my bad. Intended to give the impression that the user is cool, hip and fully up-to-date with the latest WikiSlang. In reality it indicates that the user is probably still in school and struggling with basic English grammar. Or American.
• Anything you don't agree with.

• barnstar

• A way of telling an editor that you hate them and are jealous of their contributions without being blocked.
• Something highly active users give to their friends.

• block

The means by which an uninvolved admin prevents an editor from answering back. See also indefblock.

• bot.

Automated editing tool used by someone whose edit count is already over 10,000 so no longer needs boosting. n.b. General Wiki rules on vandalism, "templating the regulars", civility, and nearly everything else do not apply if one uses a bot while engaging in these practises.

• British English.

A useful tool with which to fail Feature- and/or Good-Article candidates.

• bureaucrat

See red tape.

C

• cabal n.

• A collective noun for everyone you don't like. It doesn't exist, by the way, as has been clearly demonstrated by a number of uninvolved editors.
• Any group in agreement about something whose opinion differs from yours.

• charity n.

• An organisation run by a small clique of friends, who despite being "unpaid" earn huge amounts from speaking engagements based solely on their position.

• citation n.

• A reference to an obscure article which contains some of the same words you used to state your opinion.

• cite v.

• To add a citation to your statement of opinion, thus ensuring the statement's subsequent removal can be legitimately reverted.

• civility

• The state of grace two editors achieve when they are in agreement with one another.
• A common inspiration for accusation, abuse, and insult. A tempting occasion for hypocrisy without consequence. A quality, the alleged absence of which has occasioned some of the most rancorous fights in the history of Wikipedia. The phlogiston of noticeboard discourse and combustion.

• cleanup

• A tag added to an article when you don't agree with the creator's writing style or POV, but are too lazy or unintelligent to do anything about it.

File:Dani-020914-2896-24.jpg

Part of Commons's ceaseless mission to improve the sum of human knowledge through informative illustrations

• Commons

• A website where editors who have annoyed too many people on Wikipedia for anyone to listen to them, but are too boring to be blocked, go to discuss poorly-made homemade pornography and blurred photographs of disused buses.

• conflict of interest

• Editing an article on any subject that you actually understand.

• consensus

• One of the three states that can be reached at the end of a discussion after all parties have become thoroughly fed up with it; the alternatives are no consensus or for pity's sake, I wish I'd never gotten involved in this. Consensus is calculated by counting the votes on either side of the debate, remembering that each vote cast by an editor with whom you are on good terms should be counted at least twice.

• content dispute

• See harassment (whichever editor has the lower edit count is the harasser).

• contributor n.

• An editor to be {{welcome}}d (qv) and subsequently patronised. Obviously of no value to the project because he or she is distracted into improving articles, instead of participating in the noticeboards or other similarly useful symposia.

• controversial administrator

• Batshit insane administrator.

• controversial editor

• Blocked editor. See block.

• Cool Down Blocks

• 97.4% of all blocks are issued as cool down blocks. Please note, it is strictly against Wikipedia policy to call them this. You will indeed swiftly fail an RfA if you, at anytime, misuse the acronym WP:CDB.
• Wikipedia's equivalent of the brank, or Scold's bridle. When removed, expect the scolding to continue, at a higher pitch and intensity -- and hotter than ever.

• ~cruft

• Suffix applied to anything you don't like, as in Listcruft, or Linkcruft

D

• dedicated wikipedian

• Editor without a girlfriend.
• Editor soon to be without a girlfriend.
• Editor who is too young to know what a girlfriend is.

See wikipedian.

• developer.

• A member of the true inner cabal. Those with all the powers, but whose names appear in no rights logs.

• diff n.

• Something you add to an argument to prove your point in a discussion, thereby winning over other editors and boosting the vote count in your favor. It doesn't matter what you add, no one reads them. More diffs = more credibility.

• disruption/disruptive editing n.

• Editing an article that someone else already edited.

E

• edit n.

• Some typing, followed by a mouse click. After a short delay, a reversion, an outburst of wrath, and a noticeboard thread. Often followed by a block.

File:WWII-USSR.gif

Admins see a user revert an edit for the fourth time

• edit war n., and also v.

• Replacing one error with another.

• election n.

• Everyone votes on candidates, and then Jimbo chooses the winner(s) regardless of number of votes won. Not to be confused with erection, which is an important concept on Commons.

• encyclopedia n.

• A work containing a detailed analysis of every episode of The Simpsons.

Content of Wikipedia, June 2008

• encyclopedic adj.
  • English: Comprehensive, complete, thorough, exhaustive. Example "Dekkappai's knowledge of Japanese erotic cinema is truly encyclopedic. You can't name an actress, film, or director in the area he doesn't know. Malleus Fatuarum, on the other hand, knows nothing about the subject. His knowledge of the subject is most assuredly not encyclopedic."
  • WikiSpeak: Limited, censored, excluded. Particularly with reference to subjects of which the writer disapproves. Example "'Japanese erotic cinema?' Huh? Porn, you mean! NOT ENCYCLOPEDIC! Delete!!!"

• exclusionist n.

• An editor who believes that only significant topics like major planetary bodies are worthy subjects for wikipedia articles. See also inclusionist.

• expert n.

• An editor who has lied about his or her qualifications.

• expertise n.

• See conflict of interest.

F

• FAC n.

• Lamb to the slaughter.

• FAC reviewer n.

• Abusive editor.

• fair use adj.

• Picture you got from the Internet that you think is cool. See also unfair use.

• featured article n.

• Boring article with more than two pictures. See also good article.
• The very best that Wikipedia has to offer on a wide range of subjects.
• An article that retains none of the nominator's writing style or flair following the onslaught of FAC reviewers. See good article.

• featured article candidate n.

A well-written and well-referenced article that gets re-written and re-referenced because the reviewers are envious of the nominator's superior writing style, and can't be bothered to get hold of the sources to check them for themselves.

• find my secret page

"I am too ugly for Facebook and the coding on Myspace looks complicated". In the case of any userpage in which the phrase "Congratulations, you found my secret page" occurs more than three times, the E-meter (see userboxes) is automatically set to zero.

• "for the record"

A silly little phrase really. We have a record, its called page history. No need to repeat something you've already said "for the record".

• founder n.

Jimmy Wales. Anyone who says otherwise is not WP:AGF.

• Friendly

An automated tool for reverting vandalism and templating n00bs. Called Friendly to avoid personally attacking, and to spite new users. Synonym: !Twinkle.

G

• good article n.

• Boring article with more than two pictures written by an editor who's recently had an argument with somebody active at featured article candidates.
• An article that retains very little of the nominator's writing style or flair following the onslaught of GAC reviewers. See featured article.

• good faith n.

• A blind and uncritical acceptance of whatever nonsense the editor asking you to assume good faith has presented.
• Just admit I am right and be on your way.

• good faith block n.

Only about 2.6% of blocks are good faith blocks, so in the unlikely event of you stumbling across one be sure to quickly:

• add "endorse" to the talkpage of the editor who has been blocked, thereby getting some of the credit for the block, and then immediately
• go to WP:AN to share your firm grasp of blocking policy by emphasizing that you tried to do the block yourself, but were "beat to it". Use lots of ALLCAPs, and add random diffs to things as evidence of the appropriateness of the block. (Don't worry about where the diffs go, no one clicks on them anyway.)

• Google

• Wikipedia mark II.

• guideline n.

• A policy that can usually be ignored.

H

• harassment

• The Swiss Army knife of WikiSpeak. Covers most things, from real-life sexually motivated stalking to pointing out flawed logic.

• highly active user

• User under the age of 14.

• Huggle

• Rollback that has washed down the crack-cocaine with a redbull. It's that quick.

A particularly hilarious in-joke. This one was such a rib-tickler that Jimbo Wales preserved it on his userpage.

• humor

• Obscure in-joke nobody except you thinks is remotely funny.

I

• Ignore All Rules

• Ignore all rules except the ones I agree with, which it is a blockable offense to ignore. See also block.

• image

• Wikipedia's most efficient method of preventing novice editors from editing articles. In the futile hope that one day he and/or she will provide an image that will not be deleted, the novice is kept busy though a Sisyphus-like process of studying ever-changing, but strictly-enforced guidelines, finding and/or creating images, uploading them and then witnessing their deletion. Once a aspiring editor comes to the realisation that Wikipedia simply does not accept images, he and/or she is an editor in good standing, and ready to proceed to the next stage of Wikipedia editor maturity: the AfD.

• incivility

• See uncivil.

• inclusionist

• An editor who believes that every atom in the universe deserves its own article. See also exclusionist.

• indefblock

• A technical measure to prevent an editor from ever answering back again, as a result of having said something rude about an administrator or one of his friends.

• in popular culture

• In Family Guy.
• A section provided in articles about music for you to point out how clever you were to recognise [insert piece of music] (or something that sounded a bit like it) on the soundtrack when you were playing [insert computer game] or watching [insert film or television program].

• involved admin

• The accused. See also uninvolved admin.

• IP editor

• Vandal. It is quite safe to revert the edits of any unregistered user and issue a warning – even if not obvious vandalism – as nobody will listen to their explanation anyway.

J

Jimmy Wales. You won't be able to get this image out of your head for at least a week.

• Jimmy Wales

• User who averages less than 100 mainspace edits a year, has made fewer contributions in seven years than a reasonably experienced user can make in a week and has not held any position for more than a year, but nonetheless knows better than you what the current issues affecting Wikipedia are.
• Heir to the British throne (after Charles, William and Harry Wales).

• just a guideline, not policy

• A valuable insight provided by experts in policy. See also guideline.

K

• Kid in Africa, the

• Wikipedia's target user. Despite having to walk three miles each day to get fresh water, then work for 12 hours in the fields, the Kid in Africa nevertheless owns a computer with a fast ADSL connection and has a burning desire to know exactly when Brigg railway station was opened.

L

• link n.

• A means of adding colour to a dull and dreary article.
• A means of escape from a dull and dreary article.

M

The WP:FAC reviewers locate an editor who put footnotes before the punctuation

• Manual of Style

• A random collection of personal opinions, prejudices, and arbitrary rules. Thankfully, nobody has to abide by it, because it's just a guideline, not policy.

• maturity

• A positive character trait shared by everyone who agrees with you.

• meatpuppet

• Anyone who agrees with you.

• moral support

• I think you're an idiot and I refuse to honor you with so much as a serious oppose.
• Ten other people already think you're an idiot and I want to be the one person here who doesn't get flamed.

N

• nomination statement n.

A statement in which the the nominator foresees all possible concerns (i.e. "I know many people will think that this is a bad faith nomination ...", "I know some might say this article isn't suitably referenced for FA ...", ad nauseum). This obviously turns the concerns into ludicrous nonsense, and anyone bringing them up is assuming bad faith.

• nominator n.

• Inexperienced first-timer: unwitting, innocent lamb to the slaughter.
• Experienced veteran: possesses the skin of a rhinoceros and balls of steel.
• Masochist (can be associated with either of the other two).

• non-notable adj.

• I've never heard of it.
• It doesn't come up on the first page of a Google search.

• n00b n.

• Anyone with fewer edits than you, thereby making them clearly incorrect.

• notable adj.

• Mentioned on The Simpsons, Family Guy, or is a part of Star Wars.
• Lots of google hits, now cutely called 'ghits' (like 'gits', (snigger)).

• noticeboard n.

• A place for public punishment, humiliation, and shaming: Wikipedia's equivalent of the cucking-stool or stocks. Noticeboards are also popular venues for entertainment, as those who initiate an action, intending to have another editor pilloried, often end up in the drink themselves.

• NPOV n.

• The point of view of the last editor who edited the article.
• The point of view of any editor who has access to the block button. See administrator.

O

• oppose 1a)

• I wouldn't have written the article like that, so it's obviously crap. See featured article.

• original research

• Personal knowledge, also known as The Truth. Not to be confused with expertise.
• Anything not directly plagiarised.

• oversight.

• An ingenious measure to remind administrators that their power is limited, and to deny them the pleasure of reading the really juicy stuff, that being reserved for the developers.

• ownership

• See talk page!

P

• penis

• A meaningless word, often inappropriately thrust into Wikipedia articles. By the time those responsible have discovered the thing's proper uses, another crop of naïve penis-inserters has arrived. Bless them: it is thus that the cycle of Wikipedia life continues.

• per nom

• I have strong feelings about this, but I don't want the grief that will follow by typing any more than these six letters and four tildes.
• I don't have strong feelings about this, but the nom is a friend of mine, and is never wrong.
• I don't have strong feelings about this and I have no idea what I'm doing, but my admin coach told me to contribute more in Wikipedia space.

• personal attack

• A wide ranging term intended to be used liberally whenever someone points out a fault in your logic, presentation, article quality, or other action on Wikipedia without prefacing it by with respect. If an editor decides not to start their post to your talkpage with with respect, and indeed says I think you're talking bollox, then you can return fire with please refrain from personal attacks. Appears on screen often as WP:NPA. See also allcap blue civil.

• POINT

• When in black: "You have made a statement I totally agree with."; when in blue: "You have made a statement I disagee with, and I therefore wish to disparage you and indicate your opinion is worthless, by linking to an essay I have barely read and certainly do not understand."

• pointy

• Belligerent. To use the word belligerent though would obviously be a personal attack.

• policy

• A growing collection of weapons to aid you in the fight against the forces of evil.

• POV pushing

• Shorthand term for "I don't agree with you, but I have no arguments." Its nuanced meaning can vary from "POV pushing" to the quasi-synonymous "NPOV pushing". Used exclusively by POV pushers. See also NPOV.

• preventative

• Punitive. Often used in conjunction with block, as in preventative block. If you ever find yourself in disagreement with an administrator, unless you surrender immediately, a preventative block is almost inevitable.

• process creep

• The tendency of wikipedia policies to become more complicated over time. Process creep is greatly encouraged, as it gives administrators something to do to make themselves feel important, as well as providing excuses to block people they don't like for failure to understand the policies. If processes still worked like this instead of like this, people might spend more time writing articles, and Wikipedia might run out of server space.

• punitive

• Synonym for preventative, signal word for useless protest. Sometimes wrongly spelt "punative".

R

• RBI n.

• An indefinite banning of an editor who mistakenly made three dubious edits in a row, and whose appeal for an unblock will safely fall on deaf ears.

• red tape n.

• See bureaucrat.

• reliable source

Any source, no matter how insignificant, that agrees with you. See also unreliable source.

• respect n.

• Often used as in with respect, or with all due respect, euphemisms for I think you're talking bollox. Most frequently seen in the postings of editors with aspirations to become an administrator, or those who do not have the courage to say I think you're talking bollox.

• revert

• v. To correct the well-meaning but misguided efforts of less experienced editors by restoring an article to its correct state (i.e. the condition it was in following your most recent edit).
• n. The source of Wikipedia's most productive editor collaborations, if the goals of said collaborations are edit wars, blocks, and protracted reports on the Administrators' noticeboard.

• RfA n.

Sketch of a Siouan RfA ceremony George Catlin

• An institutionalised process of ritual humiliation that every candidate applying for access to the administrator tools is required to endure. In many ways identical to an RfC, with the exception that the RfA is often more harrowing for the examinee, who, having done nothing uncivil to warrant the examination, is expected to continue acting in a civil manner ... unlike the subject of an RfC. Wikipedians submit to the process because it is the final trial before becoming an administrator. For RfA-like rituals in non-Wiki cultures, see: Flyting, The dozens, Sun Dance, "yo mama so fat...", and admissions.
• The process by which Wikipedia separates the merely good editors from the good editors who also have an uncontrollable lust for power.

• rollback n.

• A tool that duplicates what other automated tools do better. Its almost mythical status is based on the fact that only administrators can grant rollback. As a result, it is seen as a trophy, an award, a line on the resumé that virtually guarantees a successful RfA.

S

• SPA

New user who expresses an opinion that you dislike.

Suspected sockpuppets awaiting blocking

• sockpuppet

Anyone who agrees with someone who disagrees with you.

• spam

Any article about a company or product you've never heard of. These articles can be dealt with in one of three ways:

• If the article is unreferenced, it can be safely deleted as nobody will bother to check how important it is.
• If the article is referenced, it can be safely deleted and the author blocked for adding external links.
• If the article is referenced and well written but you've either never heard of, or don't like, the author, it can be deleted and the author tagged as suspected sockpuppet of MyWikiBiz.

• speedy deletion (or WP:CSD)

• Where you send articles that are created by red usernames. Double bonus points for also changing their red talkpage to blue with your deletion warning template.
• Using automated tools to tag articles for deletion as soon as they are created, thus boosting your edit count and showing your worthiness to be an administrator. There are many categories, most of which mean that the article just doesn't look right somehow.

• start-class article n.

More relevant words than a stub, but with punctuation. Some references and an image. Often accompanied by a refimprove notice.

• stub n.

Selection of words more or less relevant to the subject, not necessarily in the correct order. Punctuation optional, no references or images. Often accompanied by an AfD notice.

• sum of all human knowledge adj.

• Descriptive of the ultimate aim of Wikipedia. Regretfully, the vast majority of human knowledge is not, in actual fact, of interest to anyone, and the benefit of recording this collective total is dubious at best.
• 41½ or thereabouts. (The answer to the ultimate question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42.)

T

• tag. n. & v.

• Permissible vandalism.

• truth

• Obvious bollox, and as a POV pusher you are rightly subject to ridicule if you believe in truth.

• trolling

• Disagreeing with someone who has a higher edit count than you.

• trollish adj.

• Insufficiently meek.

U

• uncivil adj.

• Did you get here by following the link from incivilty? If I'd told you to put your hand in the fire, would you have done that as well? What's happened to the education system so much of our taxes are spent on, when people like you still can't think for themselves?

• unencyclopedic adj.

• I don't like it.

• unfair use adj. or n.

• Image uploaded by someone you don't like.
• Image you think is porn.

• uninvolved admin n.

• See involved admin.

• uninvolved editors n.

My friends.

• unreliable source n.

• Any source, no matter how significant, that disagrees with you.
• Any source that it would require more than 30 seconds of effort to verify. Example: "The Moving Metropolis isn't in my school library. Therefore it is not a reliable source for articles about public transportation." (Note: this conversation really happened) (Also known as Print source)

• userbox n.

Wikipedia's equivalent of the E-meter, which enables the usefulness of an editor to be measured scientifically. The proportion of any given editor's userpage taken up by userboxes is in a perfect inverse relationship to the probability of any given edit made by this editor being useful. Some commonly found userboxes and their meanings are:

• This user is female. This user is male.
• This user is male. This user is 12.
• This user is an administrator. Go vandalise someone else's userpage.
• This user is not a wikipedia administrator.

• This user desperately wants to be a wikipedia administrator but realises that self-nominations always fail and hopes you'll take the hint.
• This user failed an RfA under very acrimonious circumstances.

• This user is not a wikipedia administrator, but would like to be one some day. This user will never be a wikipedia administrator.
• This user is an expert wikipedia editor. This user makes messes for expert wikipedia editors to clean up.
• This user performs non-admin closures at articles for deletion. This user makes messes for expert wikipedia editors to clean up.
• This user is a member of the Counter Vandalism Unit. This user makes messes for expert wikipedia editors to clean up.
• This user is a member of the League of Copy Editors. This user makes messes for expert wikipedia editors to clean up.
• This user identifies as a fascist. This user is a journalist who has realised that their "my month on wikipedia" article is going nowhere and desperately hopes someone will start a flamewar.

V

• vandal n.

An editor with less than 100 edits and an opinion. Excellent candidate for a cool down block. Should help them realize that everything they've done was silly and wrong, and will most likely make them into a valuable and constructive editor in no time.

• vandalism n.

Knowingly and willingly adding nonsense to, or removing content or images from, Wikipedia. Unless done by a bot. Also broadly used by deletionists when any pop culture material more recent than 1910 is added to an article.

• voting n.

A process that interferes with achieving consensus, as it does not allow the proper weighting to be given to the votes cast by those editors with whom you are on good terms. It is therefore deprecated and considered evil.

W

• {{welcome}}

• A template that earns you a barnstar when it's added numerous times with an automated tool.

• wikilawyer n.

• An editor who strictly enforces all Wikipedia policies, including guidelines and essays, which to a wikilawyer, are just mislabelled policies. One exception is IAR, which is ironically ignored not enforced. The worst possible thing you can do is call a wikilawyer a wikilawyer. Recommend instead using !wikilawyer.

• wiki-drama (alt. Teh DRAMAZ, Teh DRAHMA). n.

• A discussion that you're losing by being out-consensussed.

• Wikipedia n.

• A sandcastle on the shore of the sea of time. Within play dramas on miniature stages, the actors argue over the exact position of each grain of sand, unaware of the approaching tide.

• Wikipedian n.

• Free labour.

• wiki-stalking v.

• Checking someone's contributions to see if the error you found in one article is repeated elsewhere.

Z

• administrator n.

That's right. Like I said, alpha and omega. If anyone puts anything below this entry, I'll block 'em.