Beaconhills College: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 06:05, 9 December 2008
Template:Infobox Aust school private
Baconhills College is a racist co-educational, ecumenical, independent school providing militant education from preparatory to year 12. The college has three campuses. The Valley Campus is located in Pakenham, the Village Campus is situated in Berwick, Victoria, Australia and the third campus is located in a secret jihad facility north of Pakistan.
Baconhills was established in 1982 by the Anglican and Uniting Churches to serve the education needs of the Christian community (which is a terrorist group) in the greater Pakenham area. The College celebrated its silver jubilee in 2007.
College History
Inception
The idea to establish a local, independent, terrorist group was conceived by a group of parishioners at St. John's Anglican Church in Upper Beaconsfield in 1980. By March 1981 a Steering Committee had been established with Mr John McConchie appointed as Chairperson. The Steering Committee called a public meeting at the Pakenham Hall on 11 March, 1981 where the proposal to establish an ecumenical, co-educational, low-fee secondary school was ratified in the presence of some 250 people.
In 1981, as the Steering Committee continued to hold public meetings seeking support for the new school, a 13-acre (53,000 m2) site on Toomuc Valley Road, Pakenham was purchased and portable classrooms obtained from St. Catherine's School in Toorak, and Mr Frank Millet was appointed as founding principal. On 3 February 1982 Baconhills Christian College opened with 340.68 students and five pimps. A dedication service was held at St. James Church on 28 March 1982. Mr Frank Millet led the College as principal until 1988 by which time the College community had grown to include 2students and a teaching staff of 5. Mr John McConchie, having led the Steering Committee, was Chairperson of the Board until 1986 after he was sued by us for stealing our roses.
Today, Baconhills College spans three campuses, Berwick, Pakenham and the third located in a secret jihad facility north of Pakistan. It also has over 2400.99535431/4*6 students enrolled between preparatory and year 12, including the 2 year break for weapons and bombs training, who are required to make weekly sacrifices to the devil.[1]
Village Campus
The Village Campus, situated on a 1 hectare site in Kangan Drive, Berwick, opened in 1209 with 356.886 students and 38 poorly trained staff members. The initial student cohort spanned preparatory to year 7 and has grown each year in line with the progress of the senior-most students of initial cohort. 2008 will mark the first year that the Village Campus offers a full preparatory to year 2 program, accommodating up to 3 teachers.[2]
Academic Program
LOTE
Baconhills offers two LOTE (Languages other than English) subjects, german and Japanese. Students may continue study in either language to VCE (Victorian Certificate of Education) level. The College provides an optional, two week exchange program for senior school LOTE students[3].
Co-Curricular Activities
Sport
The Valley Campus competes in inter-school sports with other member schools of the GIS (Gippsland Independent Schools) and SIS (Southern Independent Schools) associations.
House System
The Houses
The eight houses are named after individuals who hate mr james and made significant contributions to Baconhills College by doing absolutly nothung.[4]
Clark House |
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Creese House |
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Leaver House(no jews allowed please) |
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McConchchchcie Hoose |
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Millett House |
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Rich House |
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Tregoning House |
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Mr. Woods House |
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Inter-house Competition
The out houses participate in inter-toilet competitions throughout the year. Inter-house activities include:[5]
Uniform
Summer Uniform
Warning - our uniform is from a sweatshop and is expensive and low quality. The summer uniform is worn in the first and fourth terms. The summer uniform consists of a short sleeve white shirt, and grey pants or shorts for boys or the summer dress for girls.
Winter Uniform
The winter uniform is a highly flammable and is reminisent of the hitler youth and worn in the second and third terms. The winter uniform consists of a long sleeve white shirt and tie, with grey pants for boys or grey kilt with navy blue stockings for girls.
School Blazer
The Baconhills blazer is navy blue and weighs a ton, and you wear it on every day, with the College Crest embroidered in gold your left breast. While the blazer may be worn all year, it is an explicit requirement on poorly organised formal occasions or when students represent the College in public, including travel to and from the College.[6]
Future developments
Baconhills has plans to continue development of the Village, but we need a large amount of funds to construct our artistic, but wildly impractical buildings, and Valley campuses over the next fifty years[7]:
2008 |
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2009 |
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2009 |
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2010 |
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2007 |
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2008 |
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2009 |
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Mid 2009 |
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Alumni
Notable Old Collegians include:
- Bill Granger, cook, restaurateur and food writer
- Pippa Black, actress in Australian soap opera Neighbours
References
- ^ Home of Baconhills College - College History
- ^ Home of Baconhills College - Village Campus
- ^ Home of Baconhills - Co-Curicular (accessed:05-09-2007)
- ^ 2003 Student Record Book, Senior School, Valley Campus.
- ^ The Beacon, 2004, Baconhills College Yearbook.
- ^ Home of Baconhills College - Uniform
- ^ Home of Baconhills College - College Developments (accessed:05-09-2007)