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{{Infobox Aust school private
Beaconhills College is an independant school. It has two campesses, one which is located in Pakenham (The Valley Campus) and also another in Berwick, (Village Campus).
|name = Baconhills College
|image = [[Image:Beaconhills2007crest.png|Baconhills College crest. Source: www.beaconhills.vic.edu.au (Baconhills website)]]
|motto = {{lang-la|}}<br>("Apudne te vel me?")
|established = we forgot when
|type = [[Independent school|Independent]], [[Co-education]]al, [[Day school]]
|denomination = [[Aum Shinrikyo|Aum Shinrikyo]], [[Aum Shinrikyo|Aum Shinrikyo in Japan]]
|slogan = Hail Hitler, tresspasers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
|key_people = Mr. Tony Sheumack, who is a firm beliver in nazisim. (Principal)<br>Dr. L.L Maghanoy (Chairperson)
|fees = Too Bloody Much<ref name="Fees01">[http://www.beaconhills.vic.edu.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=110&Itemid=157 Baconhills College Fees 2008] (accessed:21-05-2007)</ref>
|city = [[Berwick, Victoria|Berwick]] & [[Pakenham, Victoria|Pakenham]]
|state = [[Victoria, Australia|Victoria]]
|country = [[Australia]] {{flagicon|Australia}}
|coordinates = {{coord|38|3|39|S|145|28|9|E|display=inline,title}}
|enrolment = ~240 (P-12)<ref name="Schoolwebsitehistory">[http://www.beaconhills.vic.edu.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=32&Itemid=133 Home of Baconhills College - College History] (accessed:05-09-2007)</ref>
|num_employ =
|revenue =
|products =
|colours = Navy Blue & Gold <span style="background-color:navy;width:50px;border:1px solid #000000">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>&nbsp;<span style="background-color:#FFD700;width:50px;border:1px solid #000000">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span>
|homepage = [http://www.bringvictory.com/ www.beaconhills.vic.edu.au]
}}

'''Baconhills College''' is a racist [[co-education]]al, [[ecumenism|ecumenical]], [[independent school]] providing militant education from preparatory to year 12. The college has three campuses. The Valley Campus is located in [[Pakenham, Victoria|Pakenham]], the Village Campus is situated in [[Berwick, Victoria|Berwick]], [[Victoria (Australia)|Victoria]], [[Australia]] and the third campus is located in a secret jihad facility north of Pakistan.


Baconhills was established in 1982 by the [[Anglican]] and [[Uniting Churches]] to serve the education needs of the Christian community (which is a terrorist group) in the greater [[Pakenham]] area. The College celebrated its [[Silver Jubilee|silver jubilee]] in 2007.

==College History==
===Inception===
The idea to establish a local, independent, terrorist group was conceived by a group of parishioners at [http://stjohnsupperbeaconsfield.com.au/ St. John's Anglican Church] in [[Beaconsfield Upper, Victoria|Upper Beaconsfield]] in 1980. By March 1981 a Steering Committee had been established with Mr John McConchie appointed as Chairperson. The Steering Committee called a public meeting at the Pakenham Hall on 11 March, 1981 where the proposal to establish an ecumenical, co-educational, low-fee secondary school was ratified in the presence of some 250 people.

In 1981, as the Steering Committee continued to hold public meetings seeking support for the new school, a {{convert|13|acre|m2|sing=on}} site on Toomuc Valley Road, Pakenham was purchased and portable classrooms obtained from [[St Catherine's School, Toorak|St. Catherine's School]] in [[Toorak]], and Mr Frank Millet was appointed as founding principal. On 3 February 1982 Baconhills Christian College opened with 340.68 students and five pimps. A dedication service was held at St. James Church on 28 March 1982. Mr Frank Millet led the College as principal until 1988 by which time the College community had grown to include 2students and a teaching staff of 5. Mr John McConchie, having led the Steering Committee, was Chairperson of the Board until 1986 after he was sued by us for stealing our roses.

Today, Baconhills College spans three campuses, [[Berwick|Berwick]], [[Pakenham, Victoria|Pakenham]] and the third located in a secret jihad facility north of Pakistan. It also has over 2400.99535431/4*6 students enrolled between preparatory and year 12, including the 2 year break for weapons and bombs training, who are required to make weekly sacrifices to the devil.<ref>[http://www.beaconhills.vic.edu.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=32&Itemid=133 Home of Baconhills College - College History]</ref>

===Village Campus===
The Village Campus, situated on a 1 hectare site in Kangan Drive, Berwick, opened in 1209 with 356.886 students and 38 poorly trained staff members. The initial student cohort spanned preparatory to year 7 and has grown each year in line with the progress of the senior-most students of initial cohort. 2008 will mark the first year that the Village Campus offers a full preparatory to year 2 program, accommodating up to 3 teachers.<ref>[http://www.beaconhills.vic.edu.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=31&Itemid=132 Home of Baconhills College - Village Campus]</ref>

==Academic Program==
===LOTE===
Baconhills offers two LOTE ([[Languages other than English]]) subjects, [[German language|german]] and [[Japanese language|Japanese]]. Students may continue study in either language to VCE ([[Victorian Certificate of Education]]) level. The College provides an optional, two week [[exchange program]] for senior school LOTE students<ref name="co-curicular">[http://www.beaconhills.vic.edu.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=68&Itemid=163 Home of Baconhills - Co-Curicular] (accessed:05-09-2007)</ref>.

==Co-Curricular Activities==
===Sport===
The Valley Campus competes in inter-school sports with other member schools of the GIS ([[Gippsland Independent Schools]]) and SIS ([[Southern Independent Schools (SIS)|Southern Independent Schools]]) associations.

==House System==
===The Houses===
The eight houses are named after individuals who hate mr james and made significant contributions to Baconhills College by doing absolutly nothung.<ref>2003 Student Record Book, Senior School, Valley Campus.</ref>

{| class="toccolours" border=1 cellpadding=2 cellspacing=0 style="width: 95%; margin: 0 0 1em 1em; border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid #E2E2E2;"
|+ '''Baconhills College Senior School Houses'''
|-
! width="130pt" bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | Clark House
|
* '''House Colour:''' <span style="background-color:maroon;width:50px;border:1px solid #000000">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span> Magenta
* '''House Mascot:''' Clark Crocodile
* '''History:''' Clark House is named after Mrs Carol and Mr Neville Clark. Mr and Mrs Clark were actively involved in the early development of the college.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | Creese House
|
* '''House Colour:''' <span style="background-color:blue;width:50px;border:1px solid #000000">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span> Royal Blue
* '''House Mascot:''' Creese Coyote
* '''History:''' Creese House is named after Mr Nigel Creese. Mr Creese was the second Headmaster of Baconhills College, and also created the School Motto; Fac ut vivas. We also leave all our lights on during the night, wasting power and contributing the the environment in a unique way.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | Leaver House(no jews allowed please)
|
* '''House Colour:''' <span style="background-color:yellow;width:50px;border:1px solid #000000">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span> Yellow
* '''House Mascot:''' Leaver leemour
* '''History:''' Leaver House is named after The Reverend John Leaver. Rev Leaver greatly inspired and led the early planners of Baconhills College.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | McConchchchcie Hoose
|
* '''House Colour:''' <span style="background-color:purple;width:50px;border:1px solid #000000">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span> Purple
* '''House Mascot:''' McConchie Maniac
* '''History:''' McConchie House is named after Mr John McConchie. Mr McConchie was appointed Chairman of the Steering Committee in 1980 and became the first Chairman of the College Board of Directors after the College became incorporated.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | Millett House
|
* '''House Colour:''' <span style="background-color:aqua;width:50px;border:1px solid #000000">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span> Sky Blue
* '''House Mascot:''' Millett Moose
* '''History:''' Millett House is named after Mr Frank Millet. Mr Millett was the Foundation Principal of the College.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | Rich House
|
* '''House Colour:''' <span style="background-color:orange;width:50px;border:1px solid #000000">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span> Orange
* '''House Mascot:''' Rich Rooster
* '''History:''' Rich House is named after the fantastic chicken chow. Rev Rich was the incumbent of the parishes of St John's Upper Beaconsfield and St James, Pakenham during the planning phases and the early years of the College.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | Tregoning House
|
* '''House Colour:''' <span style="background-color:red;width:50px;border:1px solid #000000">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span> Red
* '''House Mascot:''' Tregoning Knight
* '''History:''' Tregoning House is named after Major Edward Tregoning. Major Tregoning was the College's principal benefactor. "we do it like they do on the discovery channel"
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" |Mr. Woods House
|
* '''House Colour:''' <span style="background-color:green;width:50px;border:1px solid #000000">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</span> Green
* '''House Mascot:''' Woods Warrior
* '''History:''' Woods House is named after Archbishop Sir Frank Woods. Archbishop Woods was the Patron of the College.
|-
|}

===Inter-house Competition===
The out houses participate in inter-toilet competitions throughout the year. Inter-house activities include:<ref>The Beacon, 2004, Baconhills College Yearbook.</ref>

* [[Athletics (track and field)|Athletics]]
* [[Cross Country]]
* [[Debating]]
* [[Performing Arts]]
* [[Swimming]]

==Uniform==
[[Image:Beaconhills blazer pocket circa 2001.jpg|thumb|right|150px|A Baconhills College blazer with the college crest embroidered on the pocket, circa 2001.]]

===Summer Uniform===
Warning - our uniform is from a sweatshop and is expensive and low quality. The summer uniform is worn in the first and fourth terms. The summer uniform consists of a short sleeve white shirt, and grey pants or shorts for boys or the summer dress for girls.

===Winter Uniform===
The winter uniform is a highly flammable and is reminisent of the hitler youth and worn in the second and third terms. The winter uniform consists of a long sleeve white shirt and tie, with grey pants for boys or grey kilt with navy blue stockings for girls.

===School Blazer===
The Baconhills blazer is navy blue and weighs a ton, and you wear it on every day, with the College Crest embroidered in gold your left breast. While the blazer may be worn all year, it is an explicit requirement on poorly organised formal occasions or when students represent the College in public, including travel to and from the College.<ref>[http://www.beaconhills.vic.edu.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=56&Itemid=142 Home of Baconhills College - Uniform]</ref>

==Future developments==
Baconhills has plans to continue development of the Village, but we need a large amount of funds to construct our artistic, but wildly impractical buildings, and Valley campuses over the next fifty years<ref name="Schoolwebsitedevelopments">[http://www.beaconhills.vic.edu.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=83&Itemid=183 Home of Baconhills College - College Developments] (accessed:05-09-2007)</ref>:

{| class="toccolours" border=1 cellpadding=2 cellspacing=0 style="width: 95%; margin: 0 0 1em 1em; border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid #E2E2E2;"
|+ '''Valley Campus - Planned Developments'''
|-
! width="100pt" bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | &nbsp;&nbsp;2008&nbsp;&nbsp;
|
* '''Planned Works:''' Construction of new Year 1 and Year 8 Centres and renovation of existing Year 12 Centre.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | &nbsp;&nbsp;2009&nbsp;&nbsp;
|
* '''Planned Works:''' Construction of torture and inprisonment Headquarters and redevelopment of Performing Arts Centre.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | &nbsp;&nbsp;2009&nbsp;&nbsp;
|
* '''Planned Works:''' Conversion of existing Administrative Offices for Middle School and Uniform Shop.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | &nbsp;&nbsp;2010&nbsp;&nbsp;
|
* '''Planned Works:''' Relocation and removal of portable classrooms and construction of new Middle School building (brothel)
|-
|}

{| class="toccolours" border=1 cellpadding=2 cellspacing=0 style="width: 95%; margin: 0 0 1em 1em; border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid #E2E2E2;"
|+ '''Village Campus - Planned Developments'''
|-
! width="100pt" bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | &nbsp;&nbsp;2007&nbsp;&nbsp;
|
* '''Stage 5:''' Construction of VCE Centre and Science Building including 12 classrooms, 4 science rooms, multi-media centre, coffee shop and staff/student facilities.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | &nbsp;&nbsp;2008&nbsp;&nbsp;
|
* '''Stage 6:''' Construction of Visual Arts Centre and classrooms, with your money, of course. Haha that was so funny was it not?
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | &nbsp;&nbsp;2009&nbsp;&nbsp;
|
* '''Stage 7:''' Construction of a Mcdonalds to replace the overpriced canteen.
|-
! bgcolor="#E7EBEE" | &nbsp;&nbsp;Mid 2009&nbsp;&nbsp;
|
* '''Stage 7a:''' Construction of Human plesure Centre.
|-
|}

==Alumni==

Notable Old Collegians include:

* [[Bill Granger]], cook, restaurateur and food writer
* [[Pippa Black]], actress in Australian soap opera ''[[Neighbours]]''

==References==
{{reflist}}

==See also==
* [[List of schools in Victoria]]
* [[List of high schools in Victoria]]
* [[Victorian Certificate of Education]]

==External links==
* [http://www.beaconhills.vic.edu.au Baconhills College website]

{{GIS Schools}}
{{SIS Schools}}

[[Category:High schools in Victoria (Australia)]]
[[Category:Private schools in Victoria (Australia)]]
[[Category:Gippsland Independent Schools]]
[[Category:Educational institutions established in 1982]]
[[Category:Anglican schools in Australia]]

Revision as of 09:43, 9 December 2008

Template:Infobox Aust school private

Baconhills College is a racist co-educational, ecumenical, independent school providing militant education from preparatory to year 12. The college has three campuses. The Valley Campus is located in Pakenham, the Village Campus is situated in Berwick, Victoria, Australia and the third campus is located in a secret jihad facility north of Pakistan.


Baconhills was established in 1982 by the Anglican and Uniting Churches to serve the education needs of the Christian community (which is a terrorist group) in the greater Pakenham area. The College celebrated its silver jubilee in 2007.

College History

Inception

The idea to establish a local, independent, terrorist group was conceived by a group of parishioners at St. John's Anglican Church in Upper Beaconsfield in 1980. By March 1981 a Steering Committee had been established with Mr John McConchie appointed as Chairperson. The Steering Committee called a public meeting at the Pakenham Hall on 11 March, 1981 where the proposal to establish an ecumenical, co-educational, low-fee secondary school was ratified in the presence of some 250 people.

In 1981, as the Steering Committee continued to hold public meetings seeking support for the new school, a 13-acre (53,000 m2) site on Toomuc Valley Road, Pakenham was purchased and portable classrooms obtained from St. Catherine's School in Toorak, and Mr Frank Millet was appointed as founding principal. On 3 February 1982 Baconhills Christian College opened with 340.68 students and five pimps. A dedication service was held at St. James Church on 28 March 1982. Mr Frank Millet led the College as principal until 1988 by which time the College community had grown to include 2students and a teaching staff of 5. Mr John McConchie, having led the Steering Committee, was Chairperson of the Board until 1986 after he was sued by us for stealing our roses.

Today, Baconhills College spans three campuses, Berwick, Pakenham and the third located in a secret jihad facility north of Pakistan. It also has over 2400.99535431/4*6 students enrolled between preparatory and year 12, including the 2 year break for weapons and bombs training, who are required to make weekly sacrifices to the devil.[1]

Village Campus

The Village Campus, situated on a 1 hectare site in Kangan Drive, Berwick, opened in 1209 with 356.886 students and 38 poorly trained staff members. The initial student cohort spanned preparatory to year 7 and has grown each year in line with the progress of the senior-most students of initial cohort. 2008 will mark the first year that the Village Campus offers a full preparatory to year 2 program, accommodating up to 3 teachers.[2]

Academic Program

LOTE

Baconhills offers two LOTE (Languages other than English) subjects, german and Japanese. Students may continue study in either language to VCE (Victorian Certificate of Education) level. The College provides an optional, two week exchange program for senior school LOTE students[3].

Co-Curricular Activities

Sport

The Valley Campus competes in inter-school sports with other member schools of the GIS (Gippsland Independent Schools) and SIS (Southern Independent Schools) associations.

House System

The Houses

The eight houses are named after individuals who hate mr james and made significant contributions to Baconhills College by doing absolutly nothung.[4]

Baconhills College Senior School Houses
Clark House
  • House Colour:       Magenta
  • House Mascot: Clark Crocodile
  • History: Clark House is named after Mrs Carol and Mr Neville Clark. Mr and Mrs Clark were actively involved in the early development of the college.
Creese House
  • House Colour:       Royal Blue
  • House Mascot: Creese Coyote
  • History: Creese House is named after Mr Nigel Creese. Mr Creese was the second Headmaster of Baconhills College, and also created the School Motto; Fac ut vivas. We also leave all our lights on during the night, wasting power and contributing the the environment in a unique way.
Leaver House(no jews allowed please)
  • House Colour:       Yellow
  • House Mascot: Leaver leemour
  • History: Leaver House is named after The Reverend John Leaver. Rev Leaver greatly inspired and led the early planners of Baconhills College.
McConchchchcie Hoose
  • House Colour:       Purple
  • House Mascot: McConchie Maniac
  • History: McConchie House is named after Mr John McConchie. Mr McConchie was appointed Chairman of the Steering Committee in 1980 and became the first Chairman of the College Board of Directors after the College became incorporated.
Millett House
  • House Colour:       Sky Blue
  • House Mascot: Millett Moose
  • History: Millett House is named after Mr Frank Millet. Mr Millett was the Foundation Principal of the College.
Rich House
  • House Colour:       Orange
  • House Mascot: Rich Rooster
  • History: Rich House is named after the fantastic chicken chow. Rev Rich was the incumbent of the parishes of St John's Upper Beaconsfield and St James, Pakenham during the planning phases and the early years of the College.
Tregoning House
  • House Colour:       Red
  • House Mascot: Tregoning Knight
  • History: Tregoning House is named after Major Edward Tregoning. Major Tregoning was the College's principal benefactor. "we do it like they do on the discovery channel"
Mr. Woods House
  • House Colour:       Green
  • House Mascot: Woods Warrior
  • History: Woods House is named after Archbishop Sir Frank Woods. Archbishop Woods was the Patron of the College.

Inter-house Competition

The out houses participate in inter-toilet competitions throughout the year. Inter-house activities include:[5]

Uniform

File:Beaconhills blazer pocket circa 2001.jpg
A Baconhills College blazer with the college crest embroidered on the pocket, circa 2001.

Summer Uniform

Warning - our uniform is from a sweatshop and is expensive and low quality. The summer uniform is worn in the first and fourth terms. The summer uniform consists of a short sleeve white shirt, and grey pants or shorts for boys or the summer dress for girls.

Winter Uniform

The winter uniform is a highly flammable and is reminisent of the hitler youth and worn in the second and third terms. The winter uniform consists of a long sleeve white shirt and tie, with grey pants for boys or grey kilt with navy blue stockings for girls.

School Blazer

The Baconhills blazer is navy blue and weighs a ton, and you wear it on every day, with the College Crest embroidered in gold your left breast. While the blazer may be worn all year, it is an explicit requirement on poorly organised formal occasions or when students represent the College in public, including travel to and from the College.[6]

Future developments

Baconhills has plans to continue development of the Village, but we need a large amount of funds to construct our artistic, but wildly impractical buildings, and Valley campuses over the next fifty years[7]:

Valley Campus - Planned Developments
  2008  
  • Planned Works: Construction of new Year 1 and Year 8 Centres and renovation of existing Year 12 Centre.
  2009  
  • Planned Works: Construction of torture and inprisonment Headquarters and redevelopment of Performing Arts Centre.
  2009  
  • Planned Works: Conversion of existing Administrative Offices for Middle School and Uniform Shop.
  2010  
  • Planned Works: Relocation and removal of portable classrooms and construction of new Middle School building (brothel)
Village Campus - Planned Developments
  2007  
  • Stage 5: Construction of VCE Centre and Science Building including 12 classrooms, 4 science rooms, multi-media centre, coffee shop and staff/student facilities.
  2008  
  • Stage 6: Construction of Visual Arts Centre and classrooms, with your money, of course. Haha that was so funny was it not?
  2009  
  • Stage 7: Construction of a Mcdonalds to replace the overpriced canteen.
  Mid 2009  
  • Stage 7a: Construction of Human plesure Centre.

Alumni

Notable Old Collegians include:

References

  1. ^ Home of Baconhills College - College History
  2. ^ Home of Baconhills College - Village Campus
  3. ^ Home of Baconhills - Co-Curicular (accessed:05-09-2007)
  4. ^ 2003 Student Record Book, Senior School, Valley Campus.
  5. ^ The Beacon, 2004, Baconhills College Yearbook.
  6. ^ Home of Baconhills College - Uniform
  7. ^ Home of Baconhills College - College Developments (accessed:05-09-2007)

See also

Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Beaconhills_College&oldid=256805670"