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An affair may refer to a form of nonmonogamy. The term describes infidelity in marriage. It may be used as a euphemism and in some cases to add glamour to an illicit liaison. Describing a relationship as an 'affair' may be inaccurate or intentionally damaging. It may or may not involve either or both romance or sex. In the romantic friendship article are numerous examples of 'special friendships' in popular culture many apparently without sex. Some are distinguishable from an emotional affair.

Affair has the same word origins as affect — an affair implies bonds of affection, but not necessarily so. Some affairs are premeditatively cold. Some exploitative or designed to extract information by stealth. Some are entered into in order to provide the basis for later blackmail. And some are set up in order to provide grounds for divorce in jurisdictions that do not enjoy no fault divorce laws.^{[citation needed]} That is then referred to as adultery. Affair, in lay and professional usage, does not require any of the parties to be married, though often one is in a committed relationship. Adultery refers more specifically to those in a legal married relationship.

Other uses include describing meetings or other functions, or tasks that need to be completed. For example, one might say, "I have other affairs to attend to at the moment." It may also refer to a particular business or private activity, as in family affair or private affair. In the most general sense, affair may be used to conote professional, personal, or public business. An affair, in the political sense, typically refers to any kind of involvement in illicit business by any kind of public representatives, such as in the Watergate affair. Like the earlier definition this is not always the case — for example the British Government has a Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs, which is a perfectly legitimate (and usually honorable) position.

Sex and romance

One connotation in the use of "affair" is for a situation where two people are involved in an illicit sexual, romantic and/or passionate attachment, usually but not always for a limited duration.

Some have argued that the wide spread occurrence of extramarital affairs is polygamy by stealth. Some extra-marital affairs continue in one form or another for decades, even as one of the partners to that affair passes through a marriage, divorce and remarriage. Over that length of time one could consider the affair the primary relationship and the marriages secondary to it — a case of serial polygamy or other forms of nonmonogamy. an affiar is also when you have relations with one person, but have intercourse with another. The ability to pursue serial affairs or marriages in this way whilst safeguarding the conflict of interest inherent in the practice, requires considerable skill in deception and negotiation.

Deception is defined as the "covert manipulation of perception to alter thoughts, feeling, or beliefs". This points to the degree to which the deceiver may breach fundamental conditions of fidelity and transparency assumed as pre-conditions of committed intimate relationships.

Affair is not only used to describe cheating but may also describe part of an agreement referred to as open marriage, which sanctions some extramarital affairs and not others. When one of the non-sanctioned affairs occurs it is described as infidelity and often experienced as a betrayal both of trust and integrity. When used in this context, "affair" usually implies sexual impropriety, but that is not necessarily the case. For example, in the classic film An Affair to Remember, the love affair in question might be considered acceptable from some moral standpoints. However, an emotional affair can be as devastating for the one who is excluded or betrayed by it as if a full sexual liaison had occurred. By contrast the film Dangerous Liasons shows many sides to a culture of illicit affairs between the main characters. It explores the escalating costs of covert and immoral adventures. Affairs are sometimes accompanied by scandal.

The linkage of sex and romance with affair provides the basis for entertainment in advertising, art, literature, film, plays and in TV soaps. It can fuel crusades against monogamy or promoting the value of monogamy.

Famous affairs

See also Sex scandal

Affair of the diamond necklace
Cunningham-Agee Affair
Dreyfus Affair
Harden-Eulenburg Affair
Hemings-Jefferson Affair
Lavon Affair
The Lewinsky Scandal (Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky)
Lillehammer affair
Stevenson-Lloyd George Affair
Iran-Contra affair
The Makropulos Affair (play and opera)
Profumo Affair
Sokal Affair
Spiegel Affair
Michaud Affair
Parizeau Affair
Bradley Byrnes-Theresa Affair

References

Private Lies: Infidelity and Betrayal of Intimacy by Frank Pittman
Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity ISBN-10: 0789029952 A panel of seasoned experts reflects on issues central to affairs.
NOT "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity by Shirley Glass
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Janis A. Spring
PrivateAffairs.com, created in 1996, is a website that hosts open and honest discussions regarding extramarital affairs
David Miller, The Joys of Adultery — How to cheat and get away with it.
William F. Mitchell, Jr., Adultery: Facing Its Reality. ISBN 1-58684-138-6
Reena Sommer, Anatomy of an Affair.
H. Cameron Barnes, Affair! How to Manage Every Aspect of Your Extramarital Relationship with Passion, Discretion and Dignity. ISBN 1-58112-777-4
The manual of how to cheat on your wife. ISBN 0-9721995-0-0
Jay D. Louise, How to Have an Affair and Never Get Caught! ISBN 0-9644789-0-0
Julia Copus, In Defence of Adultery. ISBN 1-85224-607-3
Elissa Gough, The Other Woman's Guide to and from Infidelity; The journal for Women in Affairs with Married Men. ISBN 1-891863-03-7
Don-David, Infidelity: A Survival Guide. ISBN 1-57224-087-3
Laurel Walum Richardson, The New Other Woman: Contemporary Single Women in Affairs With Married Men. ISBN 0-02-926891-5

@@ Line 9: / Line 9: @@
 One connotation in the use of "affair" is for a situation where two people are involved in an illicit [[human sexuality|sexual]], [[Romantic love|romantic]] and/or [[passion (emotion)|passion]]ate attachment, usually but not always for a limited duration.
-Some have argued that the wide spread occurrence of extramarital affaris is [[polygamy]] by stealth. Some extra-marital affairs continue in one form or another for decades, even as one of the partners to that affair passes through a marriage, divorce and remarriage. Over that length of time one could consider the affair the primary relationship and the marriages secondary to it — a case of serial polygamy or other [[forms of nonmonogamy]]. an affiar is also when you have relations with one person, but have intercourse with another. The ability to pursue serial affairs or marriages in this way whilst safeguarding the [[conflict of interest]] inherent in the practice, requires considerable skill in deception and [[Negotiation (process)|negotiation]].
+Some have argued that the wide spread occurrence of extramarital affairs is [[polygamy]] by stealth. Some extra-marital affairs continue in one form or another for decades, even as one of the partners to that affair passes through a marriage, divorce and remarriage. Over that length of time one could consider the affair the primary relationship and the marriages secondary to it — a case of serial polygamy or other [[forms of nonmonogamy]]. an affiar is also when you have relations with one person, but have intercourse with another. The ability to pursue serial affairs or marriages in this way whilst safeguarding the [[conflict of interest]] inherent in the practice, requires considerable skill in deception and [[Negotiation (process)|negotiation]].
 [[Deception]] is defined as the "[[covert]] manipulation of perception to alter thoughts, feeling, or beliefs". This points to the degree to which the deceiver may breach fundamental conditions of [[fidelity]] and [[Transparency (humanities)|transparency]] assumed as pre-conditions of committed intimate relationships.

Affair: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 19:45, 17 June 2007

Sex and romance

Famous affairs

References

Further reading

External links

See also