Kiss

For other uses, see the physically affectionate act.

"Kissing" redirects here. For the municipality in Germany, see Kissing, Bavaria.

File:Rodin the kiss.jpg

"The Kiss", sculpture by Rodin, 1889

A kiss is used to express love, passion, affection, respect, greeting, and good luck. The word comes from Old English cyssan "to kiss", in turn from coss "a kiss". The act of kissing has become a common expression of affection among people, but, until modern times, however, kissing was unknown to certain cultures, such as aborigines, Tahitians, and many tribes in Africa.

Kissing has also been used throughout history in numerous rites and ceremonies. It was a common mode of salutation and is described in the "Sacred Writings," as when men saluted the sun, moon, or stars, and evidence of these superstitions is found in most countries. The ancient Greeks kissed the lips, hands, or feet as an act of respect, evidenced by the writings of Homer. In ancient Rome, Isaac D'Israeli notes how certain people "considered themselves as fortunate" if they were allowed to kiss the hands of their dictators. In modern times, kissing is often a part of religious ceremonies.

Introduction to kissing

Kissing is a physical expression of deep affection or love between two people, in which the sensations of touch, taste, and smell are involved. According to psychologist Menachem Brayer, although many "mammals, birds, and insects exchange caresses" which appear to be kisses of affection, i.e. "love birds," they are not kisses as humans consider them. Psychologist William Cane notes that kissing in Western society is most often a romantic act and describes a few of its attributes:

It's not hard to tell when two people are in love. Maybe they're trying to hide it from the world, still they cannot conceal their inner excitement. Men will give themselves away by a certain excited trembling in the muscles of the lower jaw upon seeing their beloved. Women will often turn pale immediately on seeing their lover and then get slightly red in the face as their sweetheart draws near. . . . This is the effect of physical closeness upon two people who are in love.

Privacy

Romeo and Juliet kissing in a painting by Sir Frank Dicksee.

But romantic kissing "requires more than simple proximity," notes Cane. It also needs "some degree of intimacy or privacy, . . . which is why you'll see lovers stepping to the side of a busy street or sidewalk." Famed psychologist Wilhelm Reich "lashed out at society" for not giving young lovers enough privacy and making it difficult to be alone. However, Cane describes how many lovers manage to attain romantic privacy despite being in a public setting, as they "lock their minds together" and thereby create an invisible sense of "psychological privacy." He adds, "In this way they can kiss in public even in a crowded plaza and keep it romantic." Nonetheless, when Cane asked people to describe the most romantic places they ever kissed, "their answers almost always referred to this ends-of-the-earth isolation, . . . they mentioned an apple orchard, a beach, out in a field looking at the stars, or at a pond in a secluded area. . . "

Culture

Kissing in Western cultures is a fairly recent development and is rarely mentioned even in Greek literature. In the Middle Ages it was considered a sign of refinement of the upper classes. Other cultures have different definitions and uses of kissing, notes Brayer. In China, for example, a similar expression of affection consists of rubbing one's nose against the cheek of another person. In Japan, kissing is done as "proof of affection but not love;" mothers kiss their children yet Japanese lovers do not kiss one another. In other Eastern cultures kissing is likewise not commonly done. In South East Asian countries the 'sniff kiss' is the most common form of affection and Western mouth to mouth kissing is reserved for sexual foreplay. In some primitive cultures the "equivalent for our 'kiss me' is 'smell me.'" However, in Africa people are not familiar with kissing, as is also the case with Malays, indigenous Australians, and many other tribes.

Religion

Kissing in some cultures is a symbol of respect as opposed to an expression of love, as when on certain occasions Anglo-Saxons would kiss the Bible. In earlier periods of Christianity or Islam kissing became a ritual gesture, and is still treated as such in certain customs, as when "kissing the Pope's foot, relics, or a bishop's ring." Crawley notes that it was "very significant of the affectionate element in religion" to give so important a part to the kiss as part of its ritual. In the early Church the baptized were kissed by the celebrant after the ceremony, and its use was even extended as a salute to saints and religious heroes, with Crawley adding, "Thus Joseph kissed Jacob, and his disciples kissed Paul. Joseph kissed his dead father, and the custom was retained in our civilization," as the farewell kiss on dead relatives, although certain sects prohibit this today.

L'Amour et Psyché, enfants by William-Adolphe Bouguereau, 1890

A distinctive element in the Christian ritual was noted by Justin in the second century, now referred to as the "kiss of peace," and once part of the rite in the primitive mass. Conybeare has stated that this act originated within the ancient Hebrew synagogue, and Philo, the ancient Jewish philosopher called it a "kiss of harmony," where, as Crawley explains, "the Word of God brings hostile things together in concord and the kiss of love." Saint Cyril also writes, "this kiss is the sign that our souls are united, and that we banish all remembrance of injury."

An early reference to kissing is contained in the familiar opening verse of the Old Testament book, Song of Solomon, an ancient Hebrew love poem:

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth
For thy love is better than wine.

Nature and history of the kiss

The origins of the kiss was studied in the early 20th century by natural historian Ernest Crawley. He wrote that kissing was "a universal expression in the social life of the higher civilizations of the feelings of affection, love (sexual, parental, and filial), and veneration." According to Crawley, touch is 'the mother of the senses,' and the kiss was a tactile and specialized form of intimate contact. However, he notes that the act of kissing was very rare among the "lower and semi-civilized races," but was "fully established as instinctive in the higher societies." Yet even among higher civilizations Crawley saw differences: while the kiss seems to have been unknown to ancient Egypt, it was well established in early Greece, Assyria, and India.

The kiss of lovers, according to 19th century anthropologist Cesare Lombroso, originated and evolved from the maternal kiss. Crawley supports this view by noting that Japanese society, before the 20th century, was "ignorant of the kiss except as applied by a mother to her infant," while in Africa and "other uncivilized regions," it was commonly observed that neither husbands and wives, or lovers, kissed one another. However, among the Greeks and Latins kissing was common as when parents kissed their children or lovers and married persons kissed. The kiss in Western societies was also used in various religious and ceremonial acts, as where the kiss had a sacramental value. Crawley concludes that generally, although kissing was prevalent in some form since primitive times, it "received its chief development in Western culture."

Within the natural world of animals there are numerous analogies, notes Crawley, such as "the billing of birds, the cataglottism of pigeons and the antennal play of some insects." Even among higher animals such as the dog, cat and bear, similar behavior is noted. See also Biology and evolution, below.

Types of kisses

Christopher Nyrop, in his book The Kiss and its History (1901), describes five main types of kisses: kisses of love, affection, peace, respect and friendship. He admitted, however, that the categories were somewhat contrived and overlapping, and other cultures often had more kinds, including the French, with twenty and the Germans with thirty.

Kiss of love

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Lovers kissing

Kissing, as distinct from necking (defined as kissing for a long time), is the most common adolescents' sexual activity apart from holding hands (about 85 % of 15.6 years old USA adolescents experienced it).

Nyrop discusses the kiss and its importance as the direct expression of love and erotic emotions. He describes the kiss of love as an "exultant message of the longing of love, love eternally young, the burning prayer of hot desire, which is born on the lovers' lips, and 'rises,' as Charles Fuster has said, 'up to the blue sky from the green plains,' like a tender, trembling thank-offering." He adds, that the love kiss, "rich in promise, bestows an intoxicating feeling of infinite happiness, courage, and youth, and therefore surpasses all other earthly joys in sublimity." He also compares it to one's achievements in life, "Thus even the highest work of art, yet, the loftiest reputation, is nothing in comparison with the passionate kiss of a woman one loves."

The power of a kiss is not minimized when he writes that "we all yearn for kisses and we all seek them; it is idle to struggle against this passion. No one can evade the omnipotence of the kiss. . . ." Kissing, he implies, can lead one to maturity: "It is through kisses that a knowledge of life and happiness first comes to us. Runeberg says that the angels rejoice over the first kiss exchanged by lovers," and can keep one feeling young: "It carries life with it; it even bestows the gift of eternal youth." The importance of the lover's kiss can also be significant, he notes: "In the case of lovers a kiss is everything; that is the reason why a man stakes his all for a kiss," and "man craves for it as his noblest reward."

As a result, kissing as an expression of love is contained in much of literature, old and new. Nyrop gives a vivid example in the classic love story of Daphnis and Chloe. As a reward "Chloe has bestowed a kiss on Daphnis—an innocent young-maid's kiss, but it has on him the effect of an electrical shock":

Ye gods, what are my feelings. Her lips are softer than the rose's leaf, her mouth is sweet as honey, and her kiss inflicts on me more pain than a bee's sting. I have often kissed my kids, I have often kissed my lambs, but never have I known aught like this. My pulse is beating fast, my heart throbs, it is as if I were about to suffocate, yet, nevertheless, I want to have another kiss. Strange, never-suspected pain! Has Chloe, I wonder, drunk some poisonous draught ere she kissed me? How comes it that she herself has not died of it?

Kiss of affection

Mother and child, 18th century

A kiss can also be used to express feelings without an erotic element but can be nonetheless "far deeper and more lasting," writes Nyrop. He adds that such kisses can be expressive of love "in the widest and most comprehensive meaning of the word, bringing a message of loyal affection, gratitude, compassion, sympathy, intense joy, and profound sorrow."

The most common example is the "intense feeling which knits parents to their offspring," writes Nyrop, but adds that kisses of affection are not only common between parents and children, but also between other members of the same family, which can include those outside the immediate family circle, "everywhere where deep affection unites people." The tradition is written of in the Bible, as when Orpah kissed her mother-in-law and when Moses went to meet his father-in-law, " he did obeisance and kissed him ; and they asked each other of their welfare; and they came into the tent;" and when Jacob had wrestled with the Lord he met Esau, ran towards him, fell on his neck and kissed him. The family kiss was traditional with the Romans and kisses of affection are often mentioned by the early Greeks, as when Odysseus, on reaching his home, meets his faithful shepherds.

Affection can be a cause of kissing "in all ages in grave and solemn moments," notes Nyrop, "not only among those who love each other, but also as an expression of profound gratitude. When the Apostle Paul took leave of the elders of the congregation at Ephesus, " they all wept sore, and fell on Paul's neck and kissed him " (Acts xx. 37). Kisses can also be exchanged between total strangers, as when there is a profound sympathy with or the warmest interest in, another person.

Folk poetry has been the source of affectionate kisses where they sometimes played an important part, as when they had the power to cast off spells or to break bonds of witchcraft and sorcery, often restoring a man to his original shape. Nyrop notes the poetical stories of the "redeeming power of the kiss are to be found in the literature of many countries, especially, for example, in the Old French Arthurian romances (Lancelot, Guiglain, Tirant le blanc] in which the princess is changed by evil arts into a dreadful dragon, and can only resume her human shape in the case of a knight being brave enough to kiss her." In the reverse situation, in the tale of "Beauty and the Beast," a transformed prince then told the girl that he had been bewitched by a wicked fairy, and could not be recreated into a man unless a maid fell in love with him and kissed him, despite his ugliness.

A kiss of affection can also take place after death. In Genesis it is written that when Jacob was dead, "Joseph fell upon his father's face and wept upon him and kissed him." And it is told of Abu Bakr, Muhammad's first disciple, father-in-law, and successor, that, when the prophet was dead, he went into the latter's tent, uncovered his face, and kissed him. Nyrop writes that "the kiss is the last tender proof of love bestowed on one we have loved, and was believed, in ancient times, to follow mankind to the nether world."

Kiss of peace

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Joan of Arc kissing the "Sword of Liberation;" painting by Rosetti, 1863

Nyrop notes that the kiss was used as an expression of deep, spiritual love in the primitive Christian Church. Christ said, for instance, "Peace be with you, my peace I give you," and the members of Christ's Church gave each other peace symbolically through a kiss. St Paul repeatedly speaks of the "holy kiss", and, in his Epistle to the Romans, writes: " Salute one another with an holy kiss" and his first Epistle to the Thessalonians (v. 26), he says : "Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss."

The holy kiss was also used in secular festivities. During the Middle Ages, for example, Nyrop points out that it was the custom to "seal the reconciliation and pacification of enemies by a kiss." Even knights gave each other the kiss of peace before proceeding to the combat, and forgave one another all real or imaginary wrongs. The holy kiss was also found in the ritual of the Church on solemn occasions, such as baptism, marriage, confession, ordination, or obsequies. However, toward the end of the Middle Ages the kiss of peace disappears as the official token of reconciliation.

Kiss of respect

The kiss of respect is of ancient origin, notes Nyrop. He writes that "from the remotest times we find it applied to all that is holy, noble, and worshipful—to the gods, their statues, temples, and altars, as well as to kings and emperors ; out of reverence, people even kissed the ground, and both sun and moon were greeted with kisses."

He notes some examples, as "when the prophet Hosea laments over the idolatry of the children of Israel, he says that they make molten images of calves and kiss them." In classical times similar homage was often paid to the gods, and people were known to kiss the hands, knees, feet, and the mouths, of their idols. Cicero writes that the lips and beard of the famous statue of Hercules at Agrigentum were worn away by the kisses of devotees.

People kissed the Cross with the image of the Crucified, and such kissing of the Cross is always considered a holy act. In many countries it is required, on taking an oath, as the highest assertion that the witness would be speaking the truth. Nyrop notes that "as a last act of charity, the image of the Redeemer is handed to the dying or death-condemned to be kissed." Kissing the Cross brings blessing and happiness; people kiss the image of Our Lady and the pictures and statues of saints—not only their pictures, "but even their relics are kissed," notes Nyrop. "They make both soul and body whole." There are legends innumerable of sick people regaining their health by kissing relics, he points out.

The kiss of respect has also represented a mark of humility and reverence. Its use in ancient times was widespread, and Nyrop gives examples: "people threw themselves down on the ground before their rulers, kissed their footprints, literally 'licked the dust,' as it is termed." "Nearly everywhere, wheresoever an inferior meets a superior, we observe the kiss of respect. The Roman slaves kissed the hands of their masters; pupils and soldiers those of their teachers and captains respectively." People also kissed the earth for joy on returning to their native land after a lengthened absence, as when Agamemnon returned from the Trojan War Nyrop points out, however, that in modern times the ceremonious kiss of respect "has gone clean out of fashion in the most civilised countries," and it is only retained in the Church, and that in many cases "the practice would be offensive or ridiculous."

Kiss of friendship

The kiss of greeting between Leonid Brezhnev and Erich Honecker (1979, during the celebration of the 30 years of the GDR)

The kiss is also commonly used in American and European culture as a salutation between friends or acquaintances. The friendly kiss until recent times usually occurred only between ladies, but today it is also common between men and women, especially if there is a great difference in age. According to Nyrop, up until the 20th century, "it seldom or never takes place between men, with the exception, however, of royal personages," although he notes that in former times the "friendly kiss was very common with us between man and man as well as between persons of opposite sexes." In guilds, for example, it was customary for the members to greet each other "with hearty handshakes and smacking kisses," and, on the conclusion of a meal, people thanked and kissed both their hosts and hostesses.

Kissing in Western culture

In modern Western culture, kissing is most commonly an expression of affection. Between people of close acquaintance, a reciprocal kiss often is offered as a greeting or farewell. This kind of kiss is typically made by brief contact of puckered lips to the skin of the cheek or no contact at all, and merely performed in the air near the cheek with the cheeks touching. People may kiss children on the forehead to comfort them or the cheek to show affection, and vice versa.

As an expression of romantic affection or sexual desire in Western culture, kissing involves two people pressing their lips together with an intensity of sexual feeling. A couple may open their mouths, suck on each others lips or move their tongues into each others' mouths (see French kiss).

In Slavic cultures until recent times, kissing between two men on the lips as a greeting or a farewell was not uncommon and not considered sexual. Symbolic kissing is frequent in Western cultures. A kiss can be "blown" to another by kissing the fingertips and then blowing the fingertips, pointing them in the direction of the recipient. This is used to convey affection, usually when parting or when the partners are physically distant but can view each other. Blown kisses are also used when a person wishes to convey affection to a large crowd or audience. The term flying kiss is used in India to describe a blown kiss. In written correspondence a kiss has been represented by the letter 'X' since at least 1763. A stage or screen kiss may be performed by actually kissing, or faked by using the thumbs as a barrier for the lips and turning so the audience is unable to fully see the act.

In some Western cultures it is considered good luck to kiss someone on Christmas or on New Year's Eve, especially beneath a sprig of mistletoe.

Kissing in non-Western cultures

Some literatures suggest that a non-trivial percentage of humanity does not kiss.

In Sub Saharan African, Asiatic, Polynesian and possibly in some Native American cultures, kissing was relatively unimportant until European and Western colonization.

With the Andamanese, kissing was only used as a sign of affection towards children and had no sexual undertones.

Kissing in traditional Islamic cultures is not accepted between two members of the opposite sex who are not married or closely related by blood or marriage. More liberal-minded societies, such as that of Lebanon or Egypt, allow such kisses as greetings; more secular-minded individuals living in more traditional societies may have a similar view. Kisses on the cheek are a very common form of greeting among members of the same sex in most Islamic countries, following the Mediterranean pattern.

Kissing in religion

Kissing was a custom during the Biblical period and appears for the first time in recorded history in the Book of Genesis, 27: 26, when Isaac kissed his son Jacob. The kiss is used in numerous other places in the Bible: the kiss of homage, in Esther, 5: 2; of subjection, in 1 Samuel, 10: 1; of reconciliation, in '2 Samuel 14: 33; of valediction, in Ruth 1: 14; of approbation, in Psalms 2: 12; of humble gratitude, in Luke 7: 38; of welcome, in Exodus 18: 7; of love and joy, in Genesis 20: 11. There are also spiritual kisses, as in Canticles 1: 'J; sensual kisses, as in Proverbs 7: 13; and hypocritical kisses, as in 2 Samuel 15: 5. It was customary to kiss the mouth in biblical times, and also the beard, which is still practiced in Arab culture. Kissing the hand is not biblical, according to Tabor. The kiss of peace was an apostolic custom, and continues to be one of the rites in the eucharistic services of the Roman Catholics.

Among primitive cultures it was usual to throw kisses to the sun and to the moon, as well as to the images of the gods. Kissing the hand is first heard of among the Persians. According to Tabor, the kiss of homage—the character of which is not indicated in the Bible—was probably upon the forehead, and was expressive of high respect.

This woodcut of the practice of kissing the Pope's toe is from Passionary of the Christ and Antichrist by Cranach.

• Muslims may kiss the Black Stone during Hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca).
• In Ancient Rome and some modern Pagan beliefs, worshipers when passing the statue or image of a god or goddess will kiss their hand and wave it towards the deity (adoration).
• In the gospels of Matthew and Mark (Luke and John omit this) Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss—an instance of a kiss intertwined with betrayal. This is the basis of the term 'the kiss of Judas'
• The holy kiss or kiss of peace is a traditional part of most Christian liturgies, though usually replaced with an embrace or handshake today in Western cultures
• The Pope will kiss the ground on arrival to a new country.
• Visitors to the Pope traditionally kiss his foot. (The ring of a cardinal or bishop, hand of a priest.)
• Jews will kiss the Western wall of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem, and other religious articles during prayer such as the Torah, usually by touching their hand, Tallis, or Siddur (prayerbook) to the Torah and then kissing it. Jewish law prohibits kissing members of the opposite sex, except for certain close relatives. See Negiah.
• Eastern Orthodox and Eastern Catholic Christians often kiss the icons around the church as entering, they will also kiss the cross and / or the priests hand in certain other customs in the Church, such as confession or receiving a blessing.
• Catholics will kiss rosary beads as a part of prayer, or kiss their hand after making the sign of the cross. It is also common to kiss the wounds on a crucifix, or any other image of Christ's Passion.
• Hindus sometimes kiss the ground of a temple.
• Local lore in Ireland suggests that kissing the Blarney Stone leads to good luck.

Biology and evolution

Black-tailed Prairie Dogs "kissing"

Anthropologists have not reached a conclusion as to whether kissing is learned or a behavior from instinct. It may be related to grooming behavior also seen between other animals, or arising as a result of mothers premasticating food for their children. Non-human primates also exhibit kissing behavior. Dogs, cats, birds and other animals display licking and grooming behavior among themselves, but also towards humans or other species. This is sometimes interpreted by observers as a type of kissing.

The physiology of kissing

Kisses pass epigenetic pheromones that are important for human health and behavioral appetites. Kissing is implicated in the pathogenesis of sociopathy, mental illness, and autoimmune disease. The non-volatile skin surface and mucosal surface lipids that are passed in kissing have some of the greatest chemical complexity of any pheromone.

Kissing is a complex behavior that requires significant muscular coordination; a total of thirty-four facial muscles and 112 postural muscles are used during a kiss. The most important muscle involved is the orbicularis oris muscle, which is used to pucker the lips and informally known as the kissing muscle. In the case of the French kiss, the tongue is also an important part. Lips have many nerve endings so they are sensitive to touch and bite.

Disease transmission

Diseases which may be transmitted through kissing include mononucleosis, allergic reactions to nuts and drugs and herpes, when the infectious virus is present in saliva. Research indicates that contraction of HIV via kissing is extremely unlikely, although a woman has been infected with HIV by kissing in 1997; both the woman and infected man had gum disease (so transmission was through the man's blood, not saliva).

Health benefits

Affection in general has stress-reducing effects. Kissing in particular has been studied in a controlled experiment: increasing the frequency of kissing in marital and cohabiting relationships was found to result in a reduction of perceived stress, an increase in relationship satisfaction, and a lowering of cholesterol levels.

See also

• Air kiss
• Cheek kissing
• Eskimo kiss
• French kiss
• Hand-kissing
• Hand shaking
• Holy kiss
• Hugs
• Hugs and Kisses
• Judas Kiss
• The Kiss (1896 film)
• Kissing games
• Kissing traditions
• Making out

External links

• Put your sweet lips... (A history of the kiss), Keith Thomas, The Times, June 11, 2005
• The Kiss of Life, Joshua Foer, New York Times, February 14, 2006
• How Kissing Works, History and Anatomy of the Kiss, Tracy V. Wilson, Howstuffworks
• Kiss in the Street, Etienne Martin, StreetArt
• Scientific American Affairs of the Lips: Why We Kiss
• Famous Kisses From Judas to Spider-Man