Church of the SubGenius

File:Bobdobbs.jpg

J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
is a registered trademark of The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. Used with permission.

The Church of the SubGenius is a satirical postmodern religion, originally based in Dallas, Texas, which gained popularity in the 1980s and 1990s subculture, with a large presence on the Internet.

The basics of "Bob"

The Church of the SubGenius claims to have been founded in 1953, though its current popularity can only be traced to the publication of SubGenius Pamphlet #1 in 1979. It has found acceptance in underground pop-culture circles and been embraced on college campuses, in the underground music scene, and on the Internet. The Church describes its philosophy in the following manner:

The Church Of The SubGenius is an order of Scoffers and Blasphemers, dedicated to Total Slack, delving into Mockery Science, Sadofuturistics, Megaphysics, Scatalography, Schizophreniatrics, Morealism, Sarcastrophy, Cynisacreligion, Apocolyptionomy, ESPectorationalism, Hypno-Pediatrics, Subliminalism, Satyriology, Disto-Utopianity, Sardonicology, Fascetiouism, Ridiculophagy, and Miscellatheistic Theology.

-- from The Book of the SubGenius, page 5

These terms, used in a manner that deliberately parodies Scientology and New Age terms, reflect the Church's appeal. It portrays itself as an organization for "mutants, blasphemers, disbelievers, rebels, outcasts, hackers, freethinkers," and people who generally consider themselves outside the "mainstream" of society. The organization is widely seen as a satire that mocks organized religion, or as the church describes itself, "a cynisacreligion."

In a manner that mocks the nature of many non-profit religious organizations, the Church is known for blatant appeals for money from believers and non-believers alike. The Church is incorporated as a profit-making enterprise, and declares itself to be "the only religion that is proud to pay its taxes." Anyone can become an ordained SubGenius minister by paying a fee of $30 US for a lifetime membership. No other requirement is laid upon prospective members, though the cost of ordainment separates the Church from the Universal Life Church and other paper churches that offer ordination to all comers. The Church of the SubGenius is known for a standing offer that stems from the ordainment fee: "Eternal Salvation or TRIPLE Your Money Back!" The organization claims that if an ordained SubGenius minister dies and finds himself standing at the gates of "Normal" or "Boring" Hell, he will be personally greeted by Church founder J. R. "Bob" Dobbs Himself and receive a refund check for $90.00, along with a booklet titled, "How to Enjoy Hell for Five Cents a Day," which costs $89.95.

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Image copyright
© The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.

The Church claims that true SubGenii are not actually human, but rather are descendants of the Yeti. According to Revelation X: The 'Bob' Apocryphon (published in 1994), SubGenii are actually the mutant offspring of a forbidden sexual union that took place millions of years ago between a resident of Atlantis and a human; at that time, humans were little more than a slave race. The resulting offspring was the catalyst that led to the fall of Atlantis. SubGenii often refer to one another as "Yeti" (or yetinsyny), though this origin story is generally not well known outside of the Church itself. The heritage of the Yeti is said to give SubGenius members access to magical powers, an ability to psychically overpower non-yetinsyn and way more hair on their ass than your average half-evolved monkeyboy.

Because of its similarities to the tenets of Discordianism, The Church of the SubGenius is often described as a syncretic offshoot of that belief. However, its members state that the organization developed on its own with the publication of SubGenius Pamphlet #1 (also known as The World Ends Tomorrow And You May Die!) by Ivan Stang and the original SubGenius Foundation. Some say the idea came to Ivan Stang after reading the classic Illuminatus trilogy, but this is considered 'blasphemy' by members of the Church. The original group, using such pseudonyms as "Pastor Buck Naked", "Susie the Floozie", "Palmer Vreedeez", and "Pope Sternodox", forwarded their literature to a number of underground pop-culture figures such as R. Crumb, Paul Mavrides, and the New Wave rock group Devo, who embraced it and incorporated it into their work. Crumb's promotion of the Church through his comic book series Weirdo brought many new members into the fold, including artists, musicians, and writers. Their efforts resulted in the publication of the Book of the SubGenius in 1983, followed by High Weirdness By Mail in 1988, Three-Fisted Tales of "Bob" in 1990, and Revelation X: The "Bob" Apocryphon in 1994. The popularization of the Internet in the mid-1990s brought a new surge of interest in the Church, resulting in dozens of home-made, elaborately decorated web sites and two Usenet newsgroups, alt.slack and alt.binaries.slack. (A third newsgroup, alt.binaries.multimedia.slack, was created on March 12, 2005.) Ivan Stang maintains the official SubGenius home page at http://www.subgenius.com today. The Church's weekly radio program, the Hour of Slack, is a staple of many college radio stations.

The Church has said that the name "SubGenius" has nothing to do with intelligence, of a level below genius or otherwise. It appears to be an effort to repudiate pretentiousness. (However, in a purposely contradictory fashion, they have also claimed that they are "SubGenius" because being a genius is not very fun.)

Such high-profile names as Pee-Wee Herman, David Byrne, Mark Mothersbaugh, Penn Jillette, science fiction authors Rudy Rucker and John Shirley, and actor Bruce Campbell have become SubGenius ministers. Composer Frank Zappa says in his autobiography the Real Frank Zappa Book that he agrees with many of the beliefs of the church but refrained from joining as a full member.

It is claimed waggishly in church doctrine that Dobbs inspired L. Ron Hubbard to create his own cult when he remarked to him that the general public may be pink, "but their money is green". The Church also claims that in 1986, an official SubGenius ordainment for Hubbard was paid for and mailed to his address—only two weeks before the Scientology founder's death.

"Bob"

The central figurehead and symbol of the Church is the smiling, pipe-smoking face of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, an image based on 1950s styled clip art. "Bob" was considered to be the best drill bit salesman of all time. The Church claims that "Bob" (the quotes are included when spelling his name, supposedly as a symbolic halo around his name) founded the Church after he saw a vision of JHVH-1 (or "Jehovah-1") on his homemade TV.

JHVH-1.
Image © St. Kenneth Huey, used by permission.

Since that time, "Bob" has been killed and has returned from the dead many times, though the Church denies any similarity between this claim and the Biblical account of Jesus's resurrection. The Church guards the trademark and copyright on "Bob's" image, though his face has been used by many artistic figures, showing up on such places as albums by the rock band Sublime and George Clinton; the movie The Wizard of Speed and Time by Mike Jittlov; in the graphical character set of the Atari ST computers; on the set of Pee-wee's Playhouse and in British comic 2000AD, inside the strip Robo-Hunter.

The Church has recently adopted a new symbol called the "Dobbs Icon" (Also known as the sacred ikon), which is a stylized cross with three bars and a pipe, placed in a pattern that matches the eyes, nose, mouth, and pipe of "Bob"'s image. This symbol resembles a parody of the patriarchal cross.

Nothing is more central to "Bob" than his pipe, which is said to be filled with the mysterious substance known as habafropzipulops or "frop," (not a common drug) which may contain either mystical, hallucinogenic, or Divine powers. The pipe may also allude to surrealist painter Rene Magritte's famous work, The Treachery of Images, which features an image of a pipe and the words "Ceci n'est pas une pipe" (This is not a pipe). According to the church, the image of "Bob" and his pipe are often seen on random objects, possibly to herald things to come or as an omen, or possibly for no reason at all.

The number 13,013 (usually seen as "13013") is the Number of Bob, or the Mark of Dobbs.

Slack

The central belief in the Church is the pursuit of Slack, which generally stands for the sense of freedom, independence, and original thinking that comes when you achieve your personal goals. The Church states that we were all born with Original Slack, but that Slack has been stolen from us by a worldwide conspiracy of normal people, or "pinks". The Church encourages originality and frowns on actions seen as pinkness, which happens when one bows down to authority and the accepted limits of society. Popular Church phrases supporting these goals are "The SubGenius Must Have Slack" and "Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke."

The Linux distribution Slackware is named for Slack.

Sense of humor

The Church encourages humor, comedy, parody, and satire far more than most religious faiths. This belief is probably why the Church is seen on one level as an elaborate joke, an arguably postmodern mockery of organized religion, and a parody of controversial religious groups and cults, especially Scientology, Evangelicalism (evangelical, or fundamentalist, Protestantism, and "televangelism"). Almost nothing is considered off-limits to comedy in SubGenius circles, and the group's jokes often veer into the realm of bad taste. Church members frequently pull practical jokes on each other, even as they are using their comedic talents to other ends.

Clenches

Church members living in the same geographic area are encouraged (though it is not mandatory) to form a group: a local club or "clench". These clenches are typically the ones who bind together in order to put on a Devival. Some of these clenches position themselves as their own religion; this is encouraged by the Church, and is officially known as a "schism". Ivan Stang himself has been quoted as saying, "Quit the church and start your own damn religion!"

Devivals

SubGenius gatherings, or Devivals, can be seen as a combination of religious preaching, stand-up comedy, and rock concerts. When the local members of the Church hold a Devival in their area, it typically occurs at a popular nightclub, and it features SubGenius preachers backed by rock bands with such names as the Swingin' Love Corpses, Doktors for "Bob", Saint N and Hellena Handbasket, Jehovah Hates Phred, Einstein's Secret Orchestra, The Amino Acids, and the Kings of Feedback. Attendees at Devivals are encouraged to bring money and spend it at the ever-present sales table. Some Devivals have been known to veer out of control. In 1999, officials of the city of Cambridge, Massachusetts pressured owners of the Middle East nightclub to cancel the booked devival because of a mistaken belief that the organizers were affiliated with the Trenchcoat Mafia (an organization which was accused of being responsible for the Columbine High School massacre).

X-Day

An important SubGenius event occurs on July 5, 1998: X-Day. The Church had been predicting that on this day the world would be destroyed by invading alien armies known as the X-ists. Only the members of the Church of the SubGenius were expected to be saved from this SubGenius version of the apocalypse, by being carried away in the spaceships of the Sex-Goddesses. Although that day and each subsequent July 5 has passed without evidence of an alien invasion, the faithful membership still gather for the "Rupture" at a campground in western New York state to herald this SubGenius holiday. Reverend Ivan Stang has given many excuses for the failure of the Rupture to happen, such as claiming that "Bob" betrayed all SubGenii, that the scriptures were accidentally read upside down (hence the real year of the Rupture will be 8661), or that due to calendrical error or sabotage it is not yet really 1998. Some would argue that it did happen, albeit in a metaphysical and/or allegorical manner requiring greater flexion of paradigm to truly understand. Others have suggested that the X-ists did visit Earth as predicted, but that the planet we know as Earth was either secretly switched with Mars sometime during or shortly after World War II, or that the X-ists left with the persuasion that mankind will do the job as well, if not better.

Legal matters

Rachel Bevilacqua, known as Rev. Magdalen in the SubGenius hierarchy, lost custody and contact with her son after testifying about her involvement in X-Day. Judge James Punch asked her to explain the humor of pictures from the event, then demanded that she produce a picture that would "absolutely knock my socks off with the humor of it." Without identifying anything in her testimony as specifically false, Punch pronounced her description of the church's activities as "clearly prevaricating" and "obviously so not true from anybody who's looking at it from any normal perspective" and Bevilacqua herself as "mentally ill" and a "pervert." Punch subsequently recused himself, and Bevilacqua retained the law firm of Paul Cambria. The ACLU started an investigation of the ruling.

Publications

Books

• The Book of the SubGenius (1983 - McGraw-Hill; 1987 - Simon & Schuster)
• High Weirdness By Mail (1988 - Fireside Books)
• "Bob's" Favorite Comics: The SubGenius Comic Book (1989 - Rip Off Press)
• Three-Fisted Tales of "Bob" (1990 - Fireside Books)
• Revelation X: The "Bob" Apocryphon (1994 - Fireside Books)
• INWO SubGenius (1997 - Steve Jackson Games) (Illuminati New World Order game supplement)
• The SubGenius Cyclopaedia: The Bobliographon (2006 - Thunder's Mouth Press)

Videos

• Arise! The SubGenius Video (1992)

See also

People who left Scientology after being exposed to the Church of the SubGenius:

• Philip Gale

Similar religions:

• Discordianism
• The Church of MOO
• Pastafarianism (the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster)
• Invisible Pink Unicorn

References

• The Church of the SubGenius!
• Church of the SubGenius

External links

• Official SubGenius home page
• Pamphlet #1
• SubGenius newsgroups: alt.slack and alt.binaries.slack
• The Hour of Slack — The radio show hosted by Rev. Ivan Stang
• SubGenius IRC Chat
• SubGenius Yahoo Group
• The High Weirdness Project: SubGenius wiki
• X-Day
• Slackware Linux Slackware's name and logo were derived from the church
• The Real Deal
• NensloPalooza Rants and prophesies of Nenslo, an alleged SubGenius deity
• SubGenius Videos, Including clips from arise! on Google video
• Classic subgenius Rants