Wikipedia:Rouge admin

This is a decree by the Supreme Cabal Regime of the English Wikipedia (SCREW). It expresses opinions and ideas that are absolutely and irrefutably true whether you like them or not. When editing this page, please ensure that your revision reflects the supreme wishes of the Supreme Cabal. When in doubt, discuss first on the talk page.

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WP:ROUGE

This decree in a nutshell:

Administrators that are not rouge admins have been known to oppose editors because their edits violate policy, rather than because the admins are conspiring with the Forces of Darkness.

Rouge admins are a cabal of administrators, governed by five pillars of evil and the Five Pillars of Untruth, who stand in the way of Wikipedia’s true purpose, which is to disseminate new and controversial theories, publicise hitherto suppressed views about establishment figures, document the stories which the

please check all that apply:
[ ] corrupt	[ ] capitalist	[ ] fascist
[ ] Masonic	[ ] Zionist	[ ] Islamist
[ ] whitey	[ ] gay	[ ] Christian
[ ] humanist	[ ] Marxist-Leninist	[ ] _________^[1]

…news media refuse to touch, help the small businessman to achieve the Armenian Dream,^[2] and bring to public attention the “Holy Grail” which the said groups refuse to endorse.

When the fearless blogger-after-truth stands alone before the might of Vested Interests and only Wikipedia can bring The Truth™ to the teeming multitudes, when the web forum hits thirty members and just 9,970 more will earn the webmaster a cent a click from banner advertising, when the board of Encyclopædia Britannica rejects the call for resignation of the entire board backed by the holder of nearly two shares of common stock—that is when Wikipedia’s purpose can at last be realised.

And then it is that the Rouge admins step in. Based on the flimsiest of grounds—policy and consensus—they require not The Truth™ but that which is verifiable.^{[citation needed]} They will not accept the word of anyone other than a reliable source,^{[dubious – discuss]} no matter that all such sources are part of the great conspiracy to suppress The Truth™. They further demand that the dissenting opinions of those who believe The Truth™ to be complete bollocks be given due weight.^{[neutrality is disputed]} And they delete, delete, delete. Heedless of the hordes of anonymous keep votes at Articles for Deletion, discounting the legion of brand new users who have registered just so they can ensure The Truth™ is told, they accept without question the assurance of fellow Rouge admins that The Truth™ is unverifiable, incapable of being covered neutrally, unsourced and unproven. They resist perfectly reasonable demands for shrubberies before critical content can be added. And when more brand new users come along to rectify the situation by creating new articles with much better titles, the Rouge admins race right back in to delete them again, to block the new users and lock the articles.

All the pleading in the world falls on deaf ears. It’s as though the Rouge admins do not realise that when Jimbo said that neutral point of view was non-negotiable, he didn’t mean it to stop The Truth™ being told! And, well, even if he has stepped in numerous times to, um, enforce it, it’s only because… the Rouge admins have poisoned his mind and misrepresented the situation on IRC. Or something.

The Rouge admins, scourge of fair play, defenders of the powerful, in the pay of either Corporate America^[3] or Chinese Communists (or more likely both)—they insidiously subvert Wikipedia’s true mission, the mission Jimbo surely had in mind and simply forgot to add to the five pillars. Damn those Rouge admins!

Although one may initially think that the Rouge admins are so named due to their well-documented red-loving proclivities, or sneaky and renegade nature (similar to, for example, the rogue character class in Dungeons & Dragons), in fact their name stems from the red or pink makeup they use to add colour to their cheeks. In contrast, rogue administrators wear only aftershave. And clothing.^{[citation needed]} Once in a while.^{[citation needed]}

*Something Rouge*, note the disguised rouge admin browsing

Notes

^ The list of affiliation groups may be expanded to suit individual taste, for example those people who don’t even believe in any god, those people who believe erroneously that morality in some way relates to universal human qualities and those people who recognize chaos, discord, and dissent as valid and desirable qualities
^ Freedom, motherhood, apple pie and to go at least six weeks without being invaded by Mongol hordes.
^ Corporate America, please contact the original author for paying-in details. All major currencies accepted, we apologise that receipts cannot be provided.

External links

[1] The list of affiliation groups may be expanded to suit individual taste, for example those people who don’t even believe in any god, those people who believe erroneously that morality in some way relates to universal human qualities and those people who recognize chaos, discord, and dissent as valid and desirable qualities

[2] Freedom, motherhood, apple pie and to go at least six weeks without being invaded by Mongol hordes.

[3] Corporate America, please contact the original author for paying-in details. All major currencies accepted, we apologise that receipts cannot be provided.

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Notes

See also

External links