Talk:Cher Winters
Cher Winters has been listed as one of the Media and drama good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: July 29, 2021. (Reviewed version). |
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Article issues
[edit]@DarkGlow: I noticed numerous issues with this article which has been assessed as "B class". I want to offer suggestions for the Casting and characterisation section. You did not start by stating who Cher is in relation to the McQueen family. She was introduced as Sylver's daughter.
"The character and Bethannie Hare's casting details were announced on 12 April 2020. It was stated that Cher is "an aspiring hairdresser and beautician", and that her arrival would bring "fun and energy" into the fictional village." - Who stated?
"Cher is billed as "the life and soul of the party", and it was stated that she has strong family values." Who stated?
"It was stated that Cher's motive for moving to the village was to find out more about her father, since the only piece of information she knows prior to meeting him is that he is a convicted murderer." - Who stated?
"Hare admitted that she was nervous to join Hollyoaks, but the cast members supporting her helped to ease her nerves. She described the cast as "a little family", and stated that she learns new things from her co-stars daily. On her character, Hare stated that she "definitely has an attitude", but is also caring, "big on family" and will always be there for somebody if they need her, comparing her to the other McQueens. She also expressed her excitement to be joining the McQueen family unit." - One recurring problem throughout is the writing. You seem to go the long way round to make a point. You could be more concise and write:
"Hare was nervous about joining Hollyoaks' but the family dynamic of the cast eased her nerves. She gained new acting skills daily and was excited about being introduced as a member of the established McQueen family. Hare told Duncan Lindsey from Metro that Cher has an attitude but is also caring and family oriented."
"In a video for the Hollyoaks social media channels" --> "In a promotional video for Hollyoaks' social media accounts" --> "In a Hollyoaks promotional video".
"Hare stated that the response to her casting announcement was positive, and that it made her excited to film upcoming storylines. She also spoke about questions she had been receiving regarding Cher's parentage, regarding whether Cher was the daughter of Mercedes (Jennifer Metcalfe) or Sylver McQueen (David Tag); this was due to a scene of Sylver suggesting that he had only had sex with Mercedes. She confirmed that Cher was Sylver's biological daughter. She explained: "[Sylver] was in prison a very long time, so god knows what he got up to". Justin Harp of Digital Spy stated that he may have had sex with one of the prison guards, and questioned whether Sylver would later come into contact with Cher's mother."
You are placing too much weight on Hare sounding off about her casting. The casting section usually contains details about the how they heard about the role, an audition, screen tests, facts about actors quitting other shows to take roles or even moving countries to take a role. Some of the stuff you chose to include seems too trivial. You already stated Hare was excited about joining Hollyoaks and then going on to mention she was excited about filming is repetitive. Then you get into Cher's parentage and it goes on and on... The quote from Hare is redundant because she did not answer the question, whereas Justin Harp did.
I would have gone with: "Writers had previously included referenced that Sylver had only had sex with Mercedes McQueen (Jennifer Metcalfe). This led viewers to assume that Cher could be Mercedes' daughter. Justin Harp of Digital Spy revealed that Sylver also had sex with a prison guard and that she is Cher's mother."
Harp questioning whether or not Sylver would meet Cher's mother is redundant. Cher's mother did arrive shortly after.
Covid impacting the role one month in is relevant. But an entire paragraph featuring Hare sounding off about the impact it has on the acting industry is off-topic. You finish with a line about Hare recalling her experience receiving the role. That could be included at the beginning of the casting section. Make it flow better and split the casting and characterisation sections.Rain the 1 00:12, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Raintheone: I welcome any critique of my work, so thanks for the write up. I was once told by someone that when writing about fictional characters, to drain every source until it's dry. Guess that's what I've done here. I'll address the points you've raised if I have time tomorrow. – DarkGlow (contribs • talk) 20:28, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
I help you with the first point @DarkGlow! DaniloDaysOfOurLives (talk) 21:17, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
- That is great Danilo - now add David Tag after the first instance of Sylver McQueen.
Tense is an issue. Present tense for the in-universe aspect but past tense for the real world element please. In the Romeo section you repeat the same point three times.
"Prior to her arrival, Tag, who portrays father Sylver, hinted that she may form a romantic relationship with Romeo. He stated that there Cher "catches the eye of local lad Romeo", and that there is "some flirting between them"." - You should have already established who Tag is and as the article is not overly long it is repetitive. - You stated they flirt
"He joked that "Romeo should watch his step" due to his own character being protective of his daughter. Upon her arrival, she flirts with Romeo in order to gain access to her estranged father's wedding reception." You stated she flirts.
"After the pair occasionally flirt, Goldie McQueen (Chelsee Healey) and Joel Dexter (Rory Douglas-Speed) "try to play matchmaker" between the pair. Cher puts him "firmly in the friend zone", which leaves Romeo "secretly disappointed"." - You stated they flirt.
"Speaking to Digital Spy about the scenes, Hare states that the pair like each other, but "they're too stubborn to admit it"." - Who did Hare speak to? Hare stated.
She explains that Cher is "embarrassed" when Goldie tries to ask her about her romantic feelings, since she is her aunt, so she "doesn't want to tell her how she feels about Romeo"." - She explained.
Hare went on to state that her character "wants to play hard to get" and because she "loves the chase"= so much, she doesn't want to give in straight away". - Hare stated. Random =?
She explains that Cher "doesn't want to let Romeo in" since she is worried that he will discover negative things about her, such as the fact she killed Liza, and that he will begin to dislike her." - She explained.
The reception section is biased and places too much weight on cast praise from Tag and Sutton. The involved actors opinions should be transformed into characterisation details.Rain the 1 23:24, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
I don't think that this is a start class. I think it is extremely well developed and also I don't see how it is biased ?? I haven't seen any critics of Cher online DaniloDaysOfOurLives (talk) 01:33, 26 March 2021 (UTC)
- Danilo - I changed it to C. I wrote that comment because the reception section featured cast praise. DarkGlow already solved the issue.Rain the 1 08:33, 26 March 2021 (UTC)
GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Cher Winters/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Some Dude From North Carolina (talk · contribs) 12:38, 28 July 2021 (UTC)
- Add WP:ALT text to every image.
- Done – DarkGlow • 08:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
- Remove the comma after "shock at the secret".
- Done – DarkGlow • 08:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
- Remove the comma after "what the secret was".
- Done – DarkGlow • 08:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
- Remove the comma after "discover her secret".
- Done – DarkGlow • 08:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
- "in order to gain access" → "to gain access"
- Done – DarkGlow • 08:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
- "who he cheats on Cher" – reword
- Done – DarkGlow • 08:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
- Cher has "journey → Cher has a "journey
- @Some Dude From North Carolina: What do you want me to change? – DarkGlow • 20:44, 28 July 2021 (UTC)
- For that one, add "a" before the quote. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 20:47, 28 July 2021 (UTC)
- Done – DarkGlow • 08:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
- For that one, add "a" before the quote. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 20:47, 28 July 2021 (UTC)
- "the post she makes Cher to receive trolling" – reword
- Done – DarkGlow • 08:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
- Sources are archived.
- Ping when done. Some Dude From North Carolina (talk) 20:38, 28 July 2021 (UTC)
- @Some Dude From North Carolina: All done – DarkGlow • 08:04, 29 July 2021 (UTC)
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