Talk:Judy Hoffman

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment[edit]

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 29 January 2019 and 7 May 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Scjenk.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 23:30, 17 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment[edit]

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 29 January 2020 and 5 May 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Sasha.miamia, Alexjanakiraman. Peer reviewers: Amypearllang, Afsimon5.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 23:30, 17 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review[edit]

Hello! The research for this article seems quite solid, however I feel that the organization and flow could be improved. Perhaps consider adding headers and a page title to break it down into sections and organize it first by a summary and then breaking it down into paragraphs/subparagraphs such as early life, career, works, etc. There are a few sentences that are a bit wordy and feel a little jumbled, but like mentioned previously, there is a substantial amount of sources that have been cited. Also, be sure to put your citations as a separate section by using the citation tool--that way a reference list will form at the end of the article that will directly correspond to the citations you add to the end of each sentence that contains cited material. I am looking forward to reading the finished article! Good research so far. Vcbrowne (talk) 02:53, 19 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Citations[edit]

Lots of great outside references here, but the article really only cites three sources -- all of which are largely drawn from biographical material potentially written by Hoffman for University of Chicago, Kartemquin, etc. Can you find better secondary sources for this same information? This is important with regards to Wikipedia's project on biographies for living persons -- see Wikipedia: Biographies of Living Persons.AmyDeer (talk) 13:33, 21 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Further Resources Section[edit]

This section needs to be trimmed. See Wikipedia:External_links for more info on what to include and what to omit. AmyDeer (talk) 13:34, 21 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

5 of the 6 sources are by Judy Hoffman. Aside from that, everything looks great! Really good information, well rounded article. Krosen3 (talk) 04:52, 4 November 2015 (UTC)Krosen3[reply]

Peer Review[edit]

I think the improvements you've made on the article are good, but if possible you should try and find more sources. I think you would benefit from adding information about her personal life (if you can find it) and information about her early career and influences, like Jean Rouch and cinema verite. Also, it might be helpful to see if in addition to adding more information you could break up her career into sections. Overall, you have a really good start and it is nice to see more information about her awards and recognition. Rachael.bos (talk) 16:28, 5 March 2019 (UTC)Rachael.bos[reply]

Peer Review[edit]

Hi, I think the style and content of the article are pretty solid, but the organization feels like we are front loaded with information and the article ends abruptly. I think to ease into the article more, a section devoted to personal/early life could be added. This way the opening paragraph and be a broader overview of her work and influence. The entire article feels like just a lost of facts at some points, and could benefit from some excerpts from interviews maybe? If there are quotes that other scholars and filmmakers have said about her work, or anything that she has said about herself, a few of those could be added in where relevant. Like said, I think the lead could be pared down and some of those facts about her education and current work could be moved to a different section. Overall I think the amount of information is solid, but could use some other scholarly sources to learn what has been said by others about Hoffman's work. Amypearllang (talk) 18:53, 9 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

peer Review[edit]

I believe that Info and content of the article sound good, but the intro may need some editing, such as adding her birthday, clean up the intro such as just saying she is a filmaker that focuses on indigenous peoples and chicago development. I would remove who she has collaborated in the intro to another part of her article such as career. Lastly in the intro maybe add a line of her role in the pantheon of American Filmmakers. For the Career section I would add more corresponding dates for the information to seem a little more organized in the years, education/work. I would also explain what some of the films in here career were about such as Golub. For signifiant work Section I would add info on why these works are important in her career and what they are about what did she contribute to the project? Maybe talk about her commercial work and how she got into it? I think their is a lot of great info within this article and that if you rework change placement and add info and scholarly text into certain spots this article will be strong--Afsimon5 (talk) 17:43, 10 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]