Talk:Shidduch

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Torah quote[edit]

The quote was not really "inaccurate"[1]. It was simply a rephrase. JFW | T@lk 03:36, 1 January 2006 (UTC)

Perhaps, but the wording made it seem like the whole premise of the arranged marriage is off limits. In fact, marriages are commonly "arranged" in many Orthodox communities, while I doubt that any at all are conducted without the groom having seen the bride at all - as this is plainly prohibited. I wanted to make it clear that shidduchim are not discouraged; taking the practice to the extreme is. DLand 03:47, 1 January 2006 (UTC)

I am fully conversant with the practice of shidduchim, but when I wrote this article the main purpose of the quote was to distinguish sharply between "arranged marriages" and the practice of shidduchim, which are facilitated (or arranged) meetings but not arranged marriages as a result of that Gemara. JFW | T@lk 04:34, 1 January 2006 (UTC)

That is a more narrow definition of "arranged marriage," but ok. If you insist on reverting, at least leave out (or reword) the line "to discover whether they will get along" as this is somewhat of a speculation. There are documented cases in certain Hasidic sects of a couple "meeting" each other 15 minutes before the marriage. If you call that a shidduch and not an arranged marriage then fine. I agree that there is a distinction, but it isn't much. DLand 05:26, 1 January 2006 (UTC)

I wasn't going to revert. The new version is fine. JFW | T@lk 06:34, 1 January 2006 (UTC)

Payment[edit]

AFAIK, a shudchan must be paid for his/her services in all cases, even if it is only a penny. (This comes from Avraham paying Eliezer?) ems 18:34, 6 March 2006 (UTC)

Who says Avraham paid Eliezer, and why would it have mattered - Eliezer was his slave anyway! I believe there is halakha about it, but please don't ask where this is mentioned. Some communities have clear rules about payment of shadchanim. JFW | T@lk 23:16, 6 March 2006 (UTC)

There is a fee known as the shadkhanis or shadkhanit. Normal custom in America is for it to be between 1,000 to 1,300$ per person, even if the shadkhan was not profesional. Professionals can charge what they like, but are required to mention up front their fee if it is more than normal. Not paying the shadkhanis is said to lead to unhappy marriage and problems with the children. Paying less than is normal is also a problem as in financial matters TOrah says fair pricing for services is determined by minhag hamakom, the custom in the place. "Out of town folks," meaning people from outside NYC, can pay less to local shadkhanim, 'cause it's typical for the fee outside of New York to be less, or for people to set others up as a pure chesed, hence the penny comment above. 88.153.0.6 23:42, 22 November 2006 (UTC)

Only viable solution[edit]

"Yet, within the legal limitations, it appears to be the only viable solution within the Orthodox community." -- what does this mean? Only viable solution for what?

For enabling an Orthodox couple to meet and hopefully marry, while adhering to the halakhic strictures of tzeniut, which tend to limit male-female interaction. If you think it's unclear, feel free to change the wording around. --DLandTALK 15:47, 11 April 2006 (UTC)
I pasted your explanation in. I wouldn't know the first thing about rewording it myself. :)

Should not it be said in the text that it's USD thats refered to when mentioning this?


We need a section on Jewish dating in general[edit]

We need an article on Jewish dating (or something like that.) There are many Jewish social events promoting continuity, such as the ever-popular Matzah balls, parties held on or near Christmas, and linked to Chanukah as well, ofter singles events. This terminology is widely used in the American Jewish community, and this phenomenon probably deserves an article of its own. There should be some mention of this in the Matzah Ball article, primarilly for disambiguation, and here as well. And what about Jewish dating websites? There should be some discussion of this.


Matzah Ball parties set for 6

MatzoBall official website

Matzo Ball® Party is a project of the Society of Young Jewish Professionals. Now in its 21st year, the Society of Young Jewish Professionals, commonly known as SYJP, Inc., is the nation's largest and most successful membership organization for Jewish professionals, ages 21-49. SYJP,Inc. offers men and women the opportunity to meet in an environment conducive to developing networking opportunities, long lasting friendships and romantic relationships. We have sparked over 1,000 marriages and thousands of friendships thus far. —Preceding unsigned comment added by

"Fifteenth Matzo Ball brings Jewish singles together for Christmas Eve" The Boston Herald; December 24, 2001 15 Matzo Balls brings Jewish singles...

"Matzo Ball draws thousands: Christmas Eve parties becoming a Jewish..." Sunday Gazette-Mail; December 24, 2006 ; The Associated Press Matzo Ball draws thousands...

"Matzo Ball set for Christmas Eve" Washington Jewish Week; December 6, 2007 Matzo Ball set for Christmans Eve —Preceding unsigned comment added by 64.223.179.40 (talk) 13:50, 23 November 2008 (UTC)