User:Astroleaf15/sandbox

The Battle of Max's Bathtub
	Part of Max's War On Insects
	; Early stages of the battle
Date	10 April 2020 — 11 April 2020
Location	Max's Bathtub
Result	Decisive Max Victory House centipede relocated; Alex was able to go to bed;
Belligerents
Neal Family	House Centipede
Commanders and leaders
Max; Dad; Alex; Intelligence Support:; Lilith;	House Centipede
Strength
The full weaponry of the Neal house.	~30 Legs; Intimidating;
Casualties and losses
1 Hour of Alex's sleep	A home

The Battle of Max's Bathtub (Known by Alex as Waste of My Time) during the night between April 10, 2020, and April 11, 2020, began after Max sighted the house centipede at around 10:00 pm. Tensions heightened after the creature began encroaching on Max's wellbeing, and several attempts were made to remove it from the bathroom. Finally, Dad removed the bug after Max coaxed it into an optimal position.

Background[edit]

Map of Max's Bathtub. Important locations are labeled in red.

On the night of April 10, 2020, Max went to go take a fat dump. While he was sittin' on the toilet, he noticed some kind of bug on Corner 182. Due to Max's fear of bugs, he did not want to get any closer. He incorrectly assumed it was a cockroach, and reported it to Dad.

Battle[edit]

The Battle of Max's Bathtub is distinctly divided into three stages. Stage 1 is defined as trying to move the centipede out of Corner 182. Stage 2 is defined by the period of time of Max splashing around water. Stage 3 is defined as the decisive capture of the bug by Dad.

Stage 1[edit]

While Max was taking another fat dump, he tried to get a good picture of the bug. He wished to send this photo to Lilith, knowing that she aspired to become an entomologist once she grew up. He sent this message via Discord at 1:48 am, with the caption, "WTF is this in my bathroom." The same minute, Lilith replied with "A house centipede," before explaining that "They can run up to 15 mph." She suggested that Max smacks the bug, resulting in the death of it. Due to Max having a positive moral compass, he could not bring himself to do it and thus forced Alex to help him.

The First Waking Up of Alex[edit]

Max woke Alex up at around 2:00 am. Alex said "go do it yourself" before going back to bed.

The Second Waking Up of Alex[edit]

Max woke Alex up again at around 2:10 am. After 30 minutes of persuasion, Alex finally got up and began to help. The problem was, Alex was unable to get a good grip on the bug as it was stuck in the corner. Max used several tools, including a seltzer box and a box for a fan, to remove the shampoo bottles preventing Alex from capturing the bug. After Max had successfully removed the shampoo bottles, Alex failed to capture the bug, citing that "it looked weird and disgusting." After Max persuaded Alex to capture the bug and put it in the toilet, Alex only touched the bug and it proceeded to run away to another corner of the bathtub.

Stage 2[edit]

During Stage 2 of the battle, Max used a cup full of water to attempt to force the bug to stay in a horizontal position, as suggested by Alex. After one attempt, it stayed on the wall of the bathtub. After another, it finally stayed in a desirable position. Max told Alex to obtain a cup from downstairs. Not only did Alex bring the cup from downstairs, but he also accidentally brought Dad as well.

Stage 3[edit]

In Stage 3 of the battle, Dad, in his Why am I doing this? speech, proclaimed:

Alex, what are you doing downstairs right now at 3:00 in the morning? (Response from Alex) What? Oh... My... God... At 3 in the morning? Are you for real? Ugghh what the f*** am I doing? Where is this bug? Here? This little thing??? (Scoops up the bug and gives it in a jar to Max) There. It can be your new pet.
— Dad

As evidenced by the quote, Dad scooped up the bug and placed it in a jar (See Photo). The bug was later placed outside by Dad and the next morning it had disappeared.

Aftermath[edit]

After the Battle of Max's Bathtub, nothing really changed. Max still hates bugs. And that's about it.