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The Schumachergate scandal

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This shows what would have happened had Michael Schumacher got into trouble for losing Damon Hill the 1994 Formula One title and almost doing the same thing to Jacques Villeneuve in 1997.

Schumacher is summoned to Max Mosley's office at the end of the 2012 European Grand Prix, after celebrating his first podium since 2006 and his first for Mercedes. Mosley tells him that he cheated Hill out of the 1994 championship, and also tried to cheat Villeneuve out of the 1997 title, and for that, he must be punished.

Schumacher is stripped of all his Formula One wins and his record seven championships he won for Benetton and Ferrari.

NEWSFLASH

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In a recent study, Nazi leader Adolf Hitler was revealed to be the evil villain who started Poppy Day, which, according to another theory, is the saddest day of the year for Britons.

Under Hitler's orders, 908,371 British men were killed during World War One, and 2,090,212 were injured. This led George V, King of England, to start the November 11 Poppy Day tradition, in which the British public have to remember the soldiers who died in action. Yet another recent study shows that only very few of the population of the United Kingdom celebrate it.

Hitler killed himself in 1945 at the end of the next World War, much to the relief of the British.

NEWSFLASH #2

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Formula One driver Kimi Räikkönen has overdosed on mushrooms, causing crises all over Finland.

Räikkönen's actions have varied from the very common to the very rare. Here is a list of them;

  • Was caught buttsexing the President of Finland, Sauli Niinistö.
  • Built a poorly-made hypno-ray that bizarrely hypnotized the entire female population, something that took 14 days to resolve.
  • Ate off the heads of every single dog in a dog pound.
  • Drove his Mercedes CLK at over 240 mph.
  • Beat up F1 compatriot Mika Häkkinen, seeing him as The Devil in his hallucinations.

World Rally Championship last place finishers by race (1995-present)

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Winners

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No. Season Country Winning driver
1 1995 Monaco Italy Lorenzo Battistel
2 Sweden Andorra Ferran Font
3 Portugal Portugal Paulo Guimaraes
4 France France Martin Peretti
5 New Zealand Japan Kenji Sasaki
6 Australia Australia Scott Marshall
7 Spain Spain Ignacio Sanfilippo
8 United Kingdom United Kingdom Peter Boddy
9 1996 Sweden France Philippe Rossi
10 Kenya Kenya Jamil Khan
11 Indonesia South Korea Park Jung-Yong
12 Greece Greece Strátos Fotinelis
13 Argentina Argentina Marcelo Regunaschi
14 Finland France Philippe Legrou
15 Australia Australia Mark Furphy
16 Italy Italy Antonio Renzullo
17 Spain Spain Alex Juaneda
18 1997 Monaco Germany Hermann Gassner
19 Sweden France Philippe Rossi
20 Kenya Japan Toshioki Awazawa
21 Portugal Portugal Luis Pinto
22 Spain Spain Alfonso Paza
23 France France Jean-Pierre Manavella
24 Argentina Argentina Arturo Abella Nazar

World Rally Championship Asian Cars championship 2013

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Podiums

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Round Rally name Podium finishers
Pos. No. Driver Team
1 Monaco 81ème Rallye Automobile de Monte-Carlo
(15–20 January) — Results and report
1 33 Germany Armin Kremer
Germany Klaus Wicha
Austria Stohl Racing
(Subaru Impreza WRX STI)
2 39 Ukraine Yuriy Protasov
Estonia Kuldar Sikk
Belgium Symtech Racing
(Subaru Impreza STI R4)
3 47 Republic of Ireland Eamonn Boland
Republic of Ireland Michael Joseph Morrissey
Republic of Ireland Eamonn Boland
(Subaru Impreza STI R4)
2 Sweden 61st Rally Sweden
(8–10 February) — Results and report
1 42 Norway Anders Grøndal
Norway Trond Svendsen
Norway Anders Grøndal
(Subaru Impreza WRX STi)
2 34 Ukraine Yuriy Protasov
Estonia Kuldar Sikk
Belgium Symtech Racing
(Subaru Impreza STI R4)
3 41 Peru Nicolàs Fuchs
Argentina Fernando Mussano
Peru Nicolàs Fuchs
(Mitsubishi Lancer Evo IX)
3 Mexico 26º Rally México
(8–10 March) — Results and report
1 41 Peru Nicolàs Fuchs
Argentina Fernando Mussano
Peru Nicolàs Fuchs
(Mitsubishi Lancer Evo IX)
2 38 Mexico Ricardo Triviño
Spain Alex Haro
Mexico Moto Club Igualda
(Mitsubishi Lancer Evo X)
3 62 Costa Rica José Andrés Montalto
Argentina José Díaz
Costa Rica José Andrés Montalto
(Subaru Impreza STI N13)
4 Portugal 47º Rally de Portugal
(12–14 April) — Results and report
1 41 Peru Nicolàs Fuchs
Argentina Fernando Mussano
Peru Nicolàs Fuchs
(Mitsubishi Lancer Evo IX)
2 85 Portugal Miguel Jorge Barbosa
Portugal Alberto Silva
Portugal Miguel Jorge Barbosa
(Mitsubishi Lancer Evo IX)
3 82 Ukraine Yuriy Protasov
Estonia Kuldar Sikk
Belgium Symtech Racing
(Subaru Impreza STI R4)
5 Argentina 33º Rally Argentina
(3–5 May) — Results and report
1 41 Peru Nicolàs Fuchs
Argentina Fernando Mussano
Peru Nicolàs Fuchs
(Mitsubishi Lancer Evo IX)
2 77 Argentina Marcos Ligato
Argentina Rubén García
Italy Top Run SRL
(Subaru Impreza WRX STI)
3 72 Argentina Juan Carlos Alonso
Argentina Juan Pablo Monasterolo
Spain RMC Motorsport
(Mitsubishi Lancer Evo IX)