User:Tautology
Heather Elizabeth Patrick (August 11, 1989) is an Irish teenager. She is referred to most frequently as "that quiet blonde one in the corner" due to her reserved nature. Despite this lack of recognition, she strives to make a mark upon the world by entering information about herself on various websites, hoping that this may be of interest to those who surf the internet. She does not, however, want people to think that she herself is of the opinion that she is important enough to be a proper entry on Wikipedia. She merely writes a brief biography to test out her skills.
Early Life
Heather was born to David and Caroline Patrick in Cork, Ireland. She has one brother, Christopher. She also lives with two cats, male and female (known respectively as Fuzzy and Kizzy), and 4 birds. Some may attribute this overwhelming number of pets to her rather eccentric personality, but she insists that it is her mother who is the bird fanatic.
Heather's early childhood can be documented by a number of amusing events:
- As a toddler, Heather had an unusual habit of walking backwards without looking where she was going, and sitting on the first object that she bumped into. In this way, she nearly managed to cause herself grievous bodily harm by walking into a lit fireplace. Her mother managed to rescue her from this certain doom at the very last moment. However, Heather succeeded in hurting herself by walking in this fashion soon afterwards, by walking backwards and sitting on top of a hot iron. The scar is still visible upon her rear to this day.
- Heather was incredibly unobservant. A bee once landed upon an ice-cream that she was eating, and she would have happily eaten the live bee, if not for her mother's scream of terror.
- At the age of 3, Heather found a box of Cornflakes. Deciding against the conventional method of eating breakfast, she decided to pour the cereal onto the floor. She then poured a carton of milk onto the Cornflakes. After completing the preparation of this meal, she proceeded to roll over the Cornflakes on her tricycle, much to the dismay of her mother, as it was exceedingly difficult to clean out of the carpet.
Education
Primary School
Heather began primary school at the age of 4, a year younger than the average age for starting school in Ireland. She attended St. Patrick's School for Girls until the age of 6, whereupon her family moved to Glanmire. She then attended St. Joseph's primary school. Curiously, she was extremely bored in her first year in this new school. It was later discovered that Heather had been in a joint class the previous year, where half of the class was in 1st class and half was in 2nd class. Due to her excellent academic ability, she often finished her prescribed work quickly, in time to listen to the lessons of the 2nd class group. Due to this, when she herself entered 2nd class in her new school, she had already completed the "multiplication tables" and other such lessons. Indeed, primary school was not a challenge for Heather, who frequently excelled in all subjects taught to her.
Secondary School
This academic confidence proved to be Heather's downfall. At the age of 12, she began to attend Glanmire Community College, the main English-speaking secondary school in Glanmire. As the years progressed she began to find the work harder and harder, yet due to her successes in primary school, she had not learned how to study. However, she miraculously passed the Junior Certificate in flying colours.
In 2004-2005, Heather began what was to be one of the best educational years of her life so far, Transition Year. Her creativity and social skills flourished in this year, as did her sense of humour. As this year was not of any academic importance, she joyfully completed each assessment with an incredibly sarcastic tone. Her portfolio, a compulsory collection of description of the year's events, proved to be one of her greatest literary achievements, providing her with an excellent outlet for her negative opinions and sarcastic wit. Indeed, if not for this portfolio and the positive feedback she received from it, she may not have become the sarcastic personality that she is today.
Heather is currently sitting the Leaving Certificate. She is sitting 7 subjects:
- English
- Irish
- Maths
- French
- Physic
- Music
- Applied Maths
She openly admits that she is "screwed" when June 2007 comes, as she is completely incapable of studying the vast amount of information that she is required to retain to succeed in these examinations.
Heather hopes to go on to attend University College Cork and study Physics. She admits that this degree provides no employment opportunities, but she cannot imagine herself being employed anyway.
Personal Beliefs
Heather is an atheist.
There's not much more you can say about that.
Personal Life
Heather has gone through a number of failed relationships. Indeed, it is a long time since Heather was single. Some say that this is evidence of her "whorish" attitude to romance. Heather herself will argue that she is simply "living life to the full".