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Involuntary celibacy or involuntary sexual abstinence[1][2][3] (also known as incel and sometimes referred to as love shyness or being love shy[4]) is sexual abstinence by people who are routinely celibate for involuntary reasons as opposed to doing so voluntarily.[5][6] The term has gained popularity in recent years.

Definition

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The common definition of involuntary celibacy is routinely used to describe instances where someone has not engaged in sexual activity with anyone for a certain amount of time, despite the individual desiring sexual activity with other people.[7] Reasons for involuntary celibacy can differ from person to person or community to community. Involuntary celibacy can occur within marriages and has been frequently under-reported due to stigmas attached to sexually inactive marriages.[8]

There is no set length for when someone considers themselves to be involuntarily celibate, and the time period without sexual activity can average anywhere from a few months to several years or the individual's entire lifespan up to that point in time.[7] Involuntarily celibacy is traditionally seen as separate from asexuality, antisexualism, or any voluntary state of celibacy or abstinence,[citation needed] and some individuals who self-identify as being partially or fully involuntarily celibate have stated that they believe that it should be treated as a separate psychosocial issue.[citation needed] Characteristics of involuntary celibacy differ but typically share two common claimed characteristics: the individual has gone without sexual intercourse for a long period of time, despite attempts to attract a sexual partner, and that the individual has limited or no access to partners or opportunities to find a partner.[citation needed]

Occasionally a distinction is drawn between men actively attempting to engage with women, but are constantly rejected, and "love shyness", men too shy to engage.[9]

Characteristics

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The The Journal of Sex Research notes that celibate men are more likely to be conceived later in their parents life than the general population and are more likely to be lower class and unemployed. The involuntarily celibate men they studied tended to work in sex-segrated jobs, had more education than involuntarily celibate women, and followed particularly masculine life trajectories to a degree that it hindered their ability to meet women. Involuntarily celibate women were also found to follow life trajectories particularly close to feminine gender roles.[10] At the end of the study contained in the Journal of Sexology and the Sexuality and Society Reader, the researchers concluded there was not enough scientific research done on involuntary celibacy, writing, "Until the phenomena of involuntary celibacy has been fully investigated, and the results disseminated, it will remain a taboo topic, cloaked in mystery and ignorance, and an untold number of persons will continue to suffer in silence and isolation".[11] Involuntary celibates have also been characterized as lonely and vulnerable.[12]

Causes

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Reasons for involuntary celibacy can often overlap with reasons for traditional celibacy, which can sometimes make it difficult to discern between voluntary or involuntary celibacy, as some feel pressured to state that the celibacy is voluntary out of fear of severe social repercussions or violence.[13] In a 2001 study of 82 individuals (60 men and 22 women) who self-identified as being involuntarily celibate, sociologist Denise Donnelly commented that she believed that "the relationship between these barriers and involuntary celibacy is reciprocal, rather than unidirectional" and that while the contributing factors could impact the individuals' sex lives, they could in some instances be a result of being celibate.[7][14] She also noted that these traits were not necessarily the norm and that an incel could have be seen as otherwise normal by social standards.[7] A further study conducted by Donnelly and associates between June 1999 to June 2000 of 192 individuals showed that many of the self-identifying involuntarily celibate were living in the United States, were under the age of 34, and had either attended or completed their college education.[15]

Psychological factors

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Involuntary celibacy has been attributed to psychological factors, such as social awkwardness, a lack of social skills,[16] lack of confidence or flirting skills, trust issues, addiction,[17] shyness,[18] recreational sex invoking feelings of guilt, fears of unreciprocation of romantic overtures or apathy[19] or an inability to decipher social cues.[20] It has also been suggested that people who live involuntarily celibte lives may have psychological disorders such as depression, Asperger syndrome, and body dysmorphic disorder.[21] It has also been suggested that there is a correlation between involuntary celibacy and other psychological issues such as neuroticism, anxiety, and autism, extreme introversion or general mental ailments.[12]

Societal factors

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Others attribute it to societal factors such as financial constraints[5], a sex-segregated environment, responsibilities such as raising children, teenage inexperience and datelessness,[18] family demands, a busy career or being preoccupied with one's education.[22] Reasons for involuntary celibacy can often include reasons such as the individual's limited access to sexual partners, or because of institutional restrictions in the instance of people in restrictive nursing homes or prisons.[23][24][25] Other reasons for involuntary celibacy can include societal pressure, as in the case of strict cultural taboos or moral standards that the individual feels pressured to follow, as in the case of some religious factions that mandate that homosexuals should remain celibate as opposed to engaging in sexual activity with other homosexuals.[25][25][8][26] Factors believed to contribute to involuntary celibacy are elements such as an unviable living arrangement, occupations that are segregated by sex,[27][7] or having abnormally lengthy working hours.[12]

Other social factors include a reluctance by younger siblings in Asia to increase social pressure on their older siblings by getting married before them in societies where pre-marital sex is taboo.[5] During the Great Depression, involuntary celibacy has been attributed to unemployment or underemployment, which resulted in a postponement of marriages. It has also been attributed to those who lack access to birth control since historically, such people often attempted to ward off unwanted pregnancies by avoiding sex or marriage.[5] Others attribute it to a ultra-conservative religious upbringing that resulted in inhibitions around sex and relationships.[12] The term "involuntary celibate" has also been used in regard to female widows in some subsets of Hinduism wherein it is taboo for them to remarry.[5]

Among heterosexuals, involuntary celibacy is sometimes blamed on an imbalance in the sex ratio, with both India and China having a surplus of males,[28], which has been the case with China since the start of its one-child policy.[5] Historically, involuntary celibacy has also been attributed to anti-miscegenation laws, as was the case with South Africa during the apartheid era, wherein interracial couples were sometimes confined to seperate districts, or otherwise were deterred from meeting through travel permit or work permit laws.[5] Massive amounts of deaths among males during wars has been said to increase to the prevalence of involntary celibacy for women due to a dearth in the number of males within a specific generation.[5]

Physical factors

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Involuntary celibacy has also been attributed to factors relating to physicality, such as having a physical disability, a physical illness[12], being unattractive,[16] some physiological problem, a discrepancy in libido, a lack of sexual prowess[19] a negative body image,[18] an inadequate physical appearance[29] bad genes[17] or lookism[30]. The term "involuntary celibate" has also been applied to those who lack access to birth control and subsequent fears of unwanted pregnancies, and men who were castrated against their will.[5]

Involuntary celibates sometimes describe discrimination or rejection on the basis of their physical appearance as lookism. Examples of perceived physical flaws vary widely and include small wrists, a small penis, large nostrils[31] a small neck,[16] baldness and being short.[17] The bone structure is a major theme of discussion on incel forums, with inconspicuous jaw lines or chins or the presence of an overbite viewed as unfavorable. "Bonesmashing" (using blunt trauma) or "mewing" (using tongue pressure on the palate) are attempts at altering this bone structure.[32][33] Others attribute it to sexual racism, with some claiming that those of a minority ethnic group face rejection in the dating world,[20] and that having a dark skin color is a disadvantage.[34]

History

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Historical examples of involuntary celibacy can be seen in China during the Ming Dynasty. Men with a low social and economic status that could not afford to marry or keep a spouse could claim that they were celibate voluntarily despite the choice of celibacy being involuntary.[35] As celibacy was held as an ideal during this time, the men could use their state to gain a certain level of respectability that their low status would not ordinarily give them.[35]

The term involuntary celibacy itself has been used in reference to eunuchs, Catholic nuns, and priests,[36] as some groups believed that the chastity required of the Catholic nuns and priests was involuntary (due to the religious restrictions) and that societal upheavals would enable the men and women to seek their own freedoms via marriage and child rearing.[37][38] The term involuntary celibate has also been applied to some types of apprentices, day laborers or certain domestic servants in medieval Europe who in some instances risked losing their jobs if their sexually active became known.[5]

"Incel" coinage

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In modern times, the term incel was coined as an abbrevation. The condition of involuntary celibacy (or incel) must be clearly distinguished from incels, an internet subculture associated mostly with misogynic men blaming women, society, and feminism[39] for their inability to have sex with women.

Van Dale's Great Dictionary of the Dutch Language defines incel as a gender-neutral noun, meaning someone who lives involuntarily celibate.[40] In a study of an incel online-forum, a 2001 paper in The Journal of Sex Research defined the term involuntary celibate as someone who wishes to have sex, but has not been able to find a willing partner in the past six months. Noting the choice of six months is arbitrary, the researchers concluded, "for this project, the important thing is whether or not the person defines themselves as an involuntary celibate." [41] The term is primarily used on websites such as 4chan (specifically its /r9k/ subforum), Reddit's /r/ForeverAlone, and LoveShy.com.[42][43][44][45] These online communities of incels have been called "one of the Internet’s most-reviled subcultures" by the Washington Post,[46] and Salon.com writer Tracy Clark-Flory has criticized the concept of incel as being predicated on "the shared belief being that men are entitled to govern women’s bodies."[45] Writing in Newsweek, Barbara Herman has described incels as men who "resent women for being too picky to sleep with them,"[47] while Rebecca Cohen has described those who identify as incel as men who feel that women "owe" them sex.[48]

Online communities of "incels" have been implicated in incidents of spree killings by male individuals, including the 2014 Isla Vista killings and the Umpqua shooting.[46][42] Some self-identified incels use the term Beta uprising to refer to a hypothetical future revolution in which incels take revenge on both women and non-incel men.[46][49][50][51][52]

References

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  1. ^ Henry G. Spooner (1916). The American Journal of Urology and Sexology. Grafton Press. pp. 249–.
  2. ^ Denis L Meadows (1973). The dynamics of growth in a finite world: A technical report on the global simulation model World 3. Thayer School of Engineering, Darmouth College.
  3. ^ Joost Abraham Maurits Meerloo (1946). Aftermath of Peace: Psychological Essays. International Universities Press. ISBN 9780598365347.
  4. ^ Gilmartin, Brian G. (1985). "Some Family Antecedents of Severe Shyness". Family Relations. 34 (3): 429–438. doi:10.2307/583584. JSTOR 583584. Retrieved 19 May 2014.
  5. ^ a b c d e f g h i j Abbott, Elizabeth (2001). A History of Celibacy. Da Capo Press. pp. 20, 294, 303, 309–312. ISBN 9780306810411. Retrieved 4 December 2014.
  6. ^ SEX AND SOCIETY (Abstinence- Gender Identity, Volume 1). Marshall Cavendish. 2010. p. 309. ISBN 9780761479062.
  7. ^ a b c d e Donnelly, Denise (2001). "Involuntary Celibacy: A Life Course Analysis". The Journal of Sex Research. 38 (2): 159–169. doi:10.1080/00224490109552083. S2CID 143447476. Retrieved 19 May 2014. {{cite journal}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  8. ^ a b Hawes, Joseph M. (2002). The Family in America: An Encyclopedia, Volume 2. ABC-CLIO. pp. 131–132. ISBN 9781576072325.
  9. ^ Gardephe, Sara (Director) (2011). Shy Boys:IRL (Documentary). Brooklyn, New York: Gardephe, Sara.
  10. ^ Donnelly, Denise; Burgess, Elisabeth; Anderson, Sally; Davis, Regina; Dillard, Joy (2001). "Involuntary Celibacy: A life course analysis". The Journal of Sex Research. 38 (2): 159–169. doi:10.1080/00224490109552083. S2CID 143447476.
  11. ^ Donnelly, Denise; Burgess, Elisabeth; Anderson, Sally; Davis, Regina; Dillard, Joy (2001). The Sexuality and Society Reader. p. 270.
  12. ^ a b c d e Dewey, Caitlin (October 7, 2015). "Incels, 4chan and the Beta Uprising: making sense of one of the Internet's most-reviled subcultures". The Washington Post. ISSN 0190-8286. Retrieved April 25, 2018.
  13. ^ O'Brien (editor), Jodi (2008). Encyclopedia of Gender and Society, Volume 1. SAGE. p. 120. ISBN 978-1412909167. {{cite book}}: |last= has generic name (help)
  14. ^ Laura M. Carpenter, John D. DeLamater (2012). Sex for Life: From Virginity to Viagra, How Sexuality Changes Throughout Our Lives. NYU Press. pp. 13, 16. ISBN 9780814723821.
  15. ^ Burgess, Elizabeth (2001). "SURFING FOR SEX: STUDYING INVOLUNTARY CELIBACY USING THE INTERNET". Sexuality and Culture. 5 (3): 5–30. doi:10.1007/s12119-001-1028-x. S2CID 96438371. Retrieved 19 May 2014. {{cite journal}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  16. ^ a b c https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/7xqw3g/this-is-what-the-life-of-an-incel-looks-like
  17. ^ a b c https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/lifestyle/2018/08/the-science-of-incels-all-the-reasons-why-some-men-can-t-find-a-partner.html
  18. ^ a b c "For many, sexless lifestyle is not a choice". Georgia State University. July 24, 2001. Retrieved June 8, 2018.
  19. ^ a b http://www.foxnews.com/story/2009/06/15/foxsexpert-5-ways-to-fix-sexless-marriage.html
  20. ^ a b https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/minority-report/201706/involuntary-celibacy
  21. ^ Tait, Amelia (May 8, 2018). "We must try to understand how unwanted virginity leads self-hating incels to murder". New Statesman. Retrieved May 28, 2018.
  22. ^ http://www.foxnews.com/story/2009/06/15/foxsexpert-5-ways-to-fix-sexless-marriage.html
  23. ^ Lehmiller, Justin J. (2014). The Psychology of Human Sexuality. Wiley-Blackwell. p. 232. ISBN 978-1118351215.
  24. ^ Dirk van Zyl Smit, Sonja Snacken (2009). Principles of European Prison Law and Policy: Penology and Human Rights. Oxford University Press. p. xliii. ISBN 9780191018824.
  25. ^ a b c Abbott, Elizabeth (2001). A History of Celibacy. Da Capo Press. pp. 303–304. ISBN 0306810417.
  26. ^ Vines, Matthew (2014). God and the Gay Christian. Convergent Books. ISBN 9781601425171.
  27. ^ Bouchez, Colette. "Sexless in The City". Web MD. Retrieved 19 May 2014.
  28. ^ http://thefederalist.com/2018/05/04/incel-movement-isnt-really-demanding-right-sex/
  29. ^ "What is the Incel Movement?". The Week. April 25, 2018. Retrieved June 9, 2018.
  30. ^ https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/self-hating-incel-men-are-the-new-jihadis-5rz37h9s9
  31. ^ https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/incels-looksmaxing-obsession_us_5b50e56ee4b0de86f48b0a4f
  32. ^ Cite error: The named reference allieconti was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  33. ^ Cauterucci, Christina. "Incel Memes Aren't a Joke". Slate Magazine. Retrieved 19 July 2018.
  34. ^ https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/cant-get-a-date-these-indians-think-its-their-race-women-hate/articleshow/64479774.cms
  35. ^ a b Hinsch, Bret (2013). Masculinities in Chinese History. Rowman & Littlefield. p. 126. ISBN 978-1442222335.
  36. ^ Kahan, Benjamin (2013). Celibacies: American Modernism and Sexual Life. Duke University Press Books. p. 34. ISBN 9780822355687.
  37. ^ Ozment, Steven (1983). When Fathers Ruled: Family Life in Reformation Europe. Harvard University Press. p. 49. ISBN 0674951204.
  38. ^ Blum, Carol (2002). Strength in Numbers: Population, Reproduction, and Power in Eighteenth-Century France. JHU Press. p. 157. ISBN 9780801868108.
  39. ^ Lowry, Andrew (31 January 2015). "Men's rights activists have missed the point of feminism entirely". Telegraph.co.uk. Retrieved 2015-06-03.
  40. ^ den Boon, Ton (May 2, 2018). "#WVDD: incel". Van Dale's Great Dictionary of the Dutch Language (in Dutch). Retrieved June 8, 2018.
  41. ^ Donnelly, Denise; Burgess, Elisabeth; Anderson, Sally; Davis, Regina; Dillard, Joy (2001). "Involuntary Celibacy: A life course analysis". The Journal of Sex Research. 38 (2): 159–169. doi:10.1080/00224490109552083. S2CID 143447476.
  42. ^ a b Dewey, Caitlin (May 27, 2014). "Inside the 'manosphere' that inspired Santa Barbara shooter Elliot Rodger" (Newspaper article). Washington Post. Retrieved 2015-10-08.
  43. ^ Cheadle, Harry (May 30, 2014). "Elliot Rodger and the Toxic Weight of Virginity" (Internet magazine article). Vice. Retrieved 2015-10-08.
  44. ^ McGuire, Patrick (May 27, 2014). "Elliot Rodger's Online Life Provides a Glimpse at a Hateful Group of "Anti-Pick-up Artists"" (Internet magazine article). Vice. Retrieved 2015-10-08.
  45. ^ a b Clark-Flory, Tracy (May 28, 2014). "Inside the terrifying, twisted online world of involuntary celibates" (Internet magazine article). Salon. Retrieved 2015-10-08.
  46. ^ a b c Dewey, Caitlin (October 7, 2015). "Incels, 4chan and the Beta Uprising: making sense of one of the Internet's most-reviled subcultures" (Newspaper article). Washington Post. Retrieved 2015-10-08.
  47. ^ Herman, B. (2014, Aug 22). Catfight at the anti-feminist corral: Felines join the anti-feminist debate. Newsweek.
  48. ^ http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/01/manosphere-mens-rights-movement-terms
  49. ^ Caitlin Dewey (2014-05-27). "Inside the 'manosphere' that inspired Santa Barbara shooter Elliot Rodger". Washington Post. Retrieved 2014-12-12.
  50. ^ Patrick McGuire (2014-05-27). "Elliot Rodger's Online Life Provides a Glimpse at a Hateful Group of "Anti-Pick-up Artists"". Vice. Retrieved 2014-12-12.
  51. ^ Gell, Aaron (24 May 2014). "Online Forum For Sexually Frustrated Men Reacts To News That Mass Shooter May Be One Of Their Own". Business Insider. Retrieved 2014-12-12.
  52. ^ Tracy Clark-Flory (2014-05-28). "Inside the terrifying, twisted online world of involuntary celibates". Salon. Retrieved 2014-12-12.
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{{Human sexuality}} {{DEFAULTSORT:Involuntary celibacy}} [[Category:Human sexuality]] [[Category:Sexology]] [[Category:Social psychology]] [[Category:Non-sexuality]] [[Category:Celibacy]]

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