User talk:Willi-heinrich

NGMN

Welcome, and hope you can contribute to the Computing WikiProject. More feedback below on User:Willi-heinrich/NGMN.

Yes, I know technical groups like to be as confusing as possible by using acronyms without explaining them. But this is Wikipedia, so articles should comply with wikipedia style, not marketing style. Spell out the words at the first mention, and then put the acronym or abbreviation in parentheses. Thereafter you can use the acronym to save space, or a shortened form like "the group" since context is set. You usage of IPR seems very misleading, for example. Presumably you do not mean Indiana Public Radio but maybe intellectual property rights? Be explicit, do not leave a reader guessing. And only wikilink it the first time. The lead section needs to be a sentence setting context. I would say:

The Next Generation Mobile Networks (NGMN) Alliance is a mobile telecommunications trade group.

By LTE perhaps you do not mean the London Tests of English? Maybe 3GPP Long Term Evolution. That article also needs help to be written in plain English with complete sentences. Also this is a bit on the edge of my field, but The {{Cellular network standards}} template might be relevant to add at the end. W Nowicki (talk) 22:00, 3 June 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the additional hints, will look to adapt as suggested. The hyperlinks were indeed wrong or not specific enough, I think I have understood the correct syntax now and will specify accordingly. Willi-heinrich (talk) 12:41, 5 June 2011 (UTC)

ok, Done;-). next step will be to move it to the right place Willi-heinrich (talk) 15:23, 7 June 2011 (UTC)

Ah, but never use the word "done" with wikipedia articles. :-) Seriously:

The {{Cellular network standards}} goes at the end, after external links even but before the categories (that need to be added after moving). Not in the body, and remove the Template| from it.

You only need to give name= parameters if using the same citation another place. I would suggest combining the ones to the NGM web site into one, for example. Best would be to use {{Cite web}} template, but the syntax takes some learning. At least put the page "title" before the closing bracket of each web page. See WP:Link rot for the issue.

Punctuation and then references with no spaces: still needs a few fixes. Section headings are only first word cap, so Key Activities-> Key activities and start of the article has title duplicated and missing a space before he first parenthesis.

Still needs more wikilinks. Remove "world-leading" since it is promotional point of view. See WP:PEACOCK for terms to avoid. Spell out all acronyms in the body, and only refer to the acronym in parens if used again. E.g. IEEE, ITU, 3GPP, LTE, SAE, other TLAs.

Was there ever any coverage in trade press? These are called independent sources. If so, add a few. If not, this might raise questions of being notable only in the subject's mind. W Nowicki (talk) 01:28, 8 June 2011 (UTC)

Converted the references to the cite web syntax - indeed a bit tricky to get used to, hope I got it right; but the link rot risk certainly makes sense. Several revisions and re-ordering of the text trying to avoid promotional wording. Several trade press references added, hope not too many refs now. Overall - I must admit it´s not as simple as it looked at the beginning ;-). Takes time to adapt and quite a lot of re-reading and re-thinking (and reminds me of the old LaTeX days). But thanks a lot for all the help and guidance so far. Is this good to move now (or does that happen automatically ? ) Would any further revision be needed before moving or can that be don on the "live subject" if needed ? Willi-heinrich (talk) 19:22, 16 June 2011 (UTC)

Congratulations on the citation templates; that is very good, and probably enough citations to move. You need to move it manually, or I can do it if you want. The most obvious problem is still the extra copy of the title in the first line. I just went ahead and did this to show you what I meant: see edit Normally I try to refrain from editing private pages but thought this would be the easiest way to show what I meant. Also note I added an "edit sumary" which lets other editors in on what was done. This and the "Show preview" button come in handy once several editors are working on the same article.

Other issues can be taken care of before or after the move. The Wikilinks are much improved, but acronyms still need to be spelled out in the body (many other articles are much worse so that should not hold up publishing). No need to give each white paper title in body if in the citation. Citing each page of the web site is just more likely to get link rot when then re-org the site, and gives a false impression that there are more sources than there are. It is still a bit wordy, e.g. the lead could be shortened to two or three sentences without any loss of information. On the other hand, it might be useful to give a quick mention that the office is Frankfurt, Germany. That would explain the European-style spelling. For example, in the USA we call them "cellular" phones etc. And marketing people everywhere like to overuse capital letters, but the Wikipedia style is to be more sparing. For example, the organization can be Next Generation Mobile Network (although ironically its logo uses all lower case) but other terms that are not proper nouns should be lower case. Eventually we might be able to justify an image of the logo under "fair use" but that can be done later. Danke. W Nowicki (talk) 16:48, 17 June 2011 (UTC)

I consolidated some of the references, but left some others separate, because their web site is a bit unstructured and specific things may not be that straightforward to find. Hope I covered all relevant acronyms now ;-). Capitalisation minimised as well. Office location added. The double header was just a misunderstanding - I took that for the page title, but got it now. Agree the intro could be shortened, but is mostly taken from referenced sources, I tried to stay as close as possible to the originals. If it is ok to deviate from the original wording, then I can certainly streamline. Editing history now added - thanks for the hint towards the preview button, that makes the history much cleaner....

Moved the page today, let me know if anything major needs to be done. Thanks again for the help - good learning experience ! Willi-heinrich (talk) 11:49, 18 June 2011 (UTC)

Saw the latest edits and modifications - makes perfect sense and very helpful as an example for future use. It is so much clearer now what your suggestions meant in practice. Thanks a lot ! Willi-heinrich (talk) 19:57, 19 June 2011 (UTC)

Yes, I prefer to spend words on explaining what acronyms mean instead of trying to hide them. We are encouraged to "paraphrase" sources, which often amounts to translating marketingspeak into encyclopedic English. In fact, if it is too close to a source, it can be flagged as copyright violation. It is a bit personal style, and many of the other wireless articles need much help in this area too. In the meanwhile, this article is eligible for Template talk:Did you know. I might go ahead and nominate it since I know the procedure. It might take some work to get a good "hook" but then it appears on the front page and gets more viewers. I also put it on the navigation template from the other related mobile articles. W Nowicki (talk) 22:18, 19 June 2011 (UTC)

Good addition about the Femtocells ! Not sure what you mean about the navigation template, though. I ran the "show which pages direct to this one", but did not find a direct reference ?

For the DIK (I read the manual but must say I´m still confused about the process...) - I like the idea but agree the hook is a difficult one. Could it be something like that "did you know that the next generation mobile networks (NGMN) Alliance in 2008 approved 3GPP Long Term Evolution and its System Architecture Evolution (LTE/SAE) as the first technology which broadly met its requirements as laid out in their 2006 white paper" ? That´s well referenced, so should meet the criteria. May be too wordy, though. Willi-heinrich (talk) 18:10, 20 June 2011 (UTC)

You might have looked too early. It takes time (depending on how busy the servers are) for the link database to be updated. Might also take a while to propagate to European servers for example since I am working on the left coast of the USA. The Femto Forum hook has already been approved, although it will most likely be a while before it gets scheduled. So you can still suggest other hooks. Generally shorter hooks are preferred, and there is some absolute limit. They are not meant to summaries, but merely an interesting or odd sounding fact that gets people to click through and read the article. Usually it results in a few additions or corrections from other editors. It is one of the few places where you can use piped links to "hide" links under synonyms that use word play or other humor. Otherwise articles can sit around for years before anyone reads them. W Nowicki (talk) 22:36, 20 June 2011 (UTC)

Found it - probably looked in the wrong place. The Femto hook is good and since it has already received positive feedback, no need to confuse with further discussion. Thx a lot ! Willi-heinrich (talk) 07:57, 21 June 2011 (UTC)

As you might have noticed, the article is scheduled for the front page at 5pm June 26 left coast USA time. Along with the singing cat! W Nowicki (talk) 01:24, 26 June 2011 (UTC)

:-) Willi-heinrich (talk) 21:18, 26 June 2011 (UTC)

DYK for Next Generation Mobile Networks

The DYK project (nominate) 00:03, 27 June 2011 (UTC)