Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Falcon's Fury/archive1
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- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 12:56, 31 October 2014 (UTC) [1].[reply]
Falcon's Fury[edit]
This article is about the Falcon's Fury drop tower attraction currently in operation at the Busch Gardens Tampa Bay amusement park. I have been constantly expanded this article since its announcement in 2013 and I now believe the article meets FA standards. The article was reviewed and promoted to GA by The Rambling Man and copy-edited by Miniapolis. Also, just a quick note about its notability, it is the first attraction in the world to use 90-degree rotating seats on a drop tower.--Dom497 (talk) 01:34, 16 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]
| Resolved comments from — NickGibson3900 Talk |
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;Comments from NickGibson3900
— NickGibson3900 Talk 06:25, 6 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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- Support on references - NickGibson3900 Talk 06:10, 15 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from Retrohead[edit]
Oppose There are some issues with the article's comprehensiveness that should be resolved. My major concern is the excessive dating, which contradicts the prose writing style. Here are other aberrations I noticed:
- Why is Sky Jump with capital letters? Is it the company's name?
- Sky Jump is the model of the attraction.
- The second sentence doesn't flow well. That might be because of the absence of linking words, or maybe because too many information is compressed into one sentence.
- Reworded.
- The delay was due to mechanical and technical issues. Technical is a broad term, it can mean anything from bureaucratic problems to controlling malfunction.
- That is as specific as it got in terms of what the park releases/said to media outlets.
- These "interesting soil conditions" are something like unusual soil characteristics?
- I don't know...no one knows. That's why I'm quoting the article (hence the quotations).
- Another sentence that caught my eye was "with fifty winners from each contest among the first riders"? I guess "being elected" could fit in front of "among"?
- Reworded.
- The writing style seems odd at places. The description of Lance Hart could be separated with commas, not in brackets. Also, the use of hyphen seems strange at places (check the 'Records').
- Hard brackets are used when you are cutting a section of the quote out and "pasting" the 2 remaining parts together together.
- Don't you think that Twitter posts would be better instead of Twitter tweets? After all, jargon shouldn't be featured in encyclopedia.
- Done.
- Usually we state the name of the news reporter without ".com"→Florida Trip Guides
- Done.
- Because of safety reasons, the Falcon's Fury was built at night. This is fine, but it is not necessarily connected with the building's reception. The 'History' section might be a better solution.
- I put that sentence there because of what follows after. Also, this is already mentioned in the history section.
- I can not quite understand the last paragraph. There is a prediction that 2014 would have increased attendance by 3–8%. Then it says "as predicted in June 2014". Was the prediction for 2014 made in June 2014? Secondly, how the profit of other four amusement parks is related to this one?
- Fixed the prediction part. Regarding the four parks....the stats given in the news articles COMBINE all the parks together. Also, it shows that though BGT predicted 3 - 8 percent for its own park, attendance only increased by 0.3 percent for ALL parks combined (aka...Falcon's Fury didn't help at all).
- There are number of words considered part of the everyday vocabulary and not directly related to the topic that are linked: square feet, amusement park, sweepstakes, Easter egg, etc.
- I'm leaving amusement park linked as that is linked in almost every GA and FA article related to amusement parks. And square feet is automatically linked as it is apart of the Convert template.
- @Retrohead and NickGibson3900: Thank you both for you feedback. I will be replying to all your comments later today (I can already explain/fix all your concerns....it's just going to take time to type it out!!!)--Dom497 (talk) 11:33, 6 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- @Retrohead: I have addressed all your comments.--Dom497 (talk) 19:20, 6 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Appreciate the quick response. Please have understanding for my concerns, as I'm novice in reviewing non-music articles. Another note I forgot to leave above was incorporating the statement from the box to the first paragraph in 'Ride experience'. I think it's nothing spectacular and does not need to be highlighted.--Retrohead (talk) 20:18, 6 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Closing comment -- This review has been open more than six weeks and I'm afraid hasn't attracted enough commentary in that time to judge consensus to promote, so I'll be archiving it shortly. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 12:55, 31 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 12:56, 31 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.