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Aaron Eckhart

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because after failing its FAC this month, I want to give the article another FAC try and this time to make sure that it passes. Any comments would be appreciated.

Thanks, --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:06, 26 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]


Comments by Ink Runner (talk · contribs)

  • "Eckhart then moved to Sydney, Australia, for his high school, senior year, and left without graduating, but earned a diploma through a correspondence course." Reword to something like "Eckhart then moved to Sydney, Australia, for his high school senior year; though he left without graduating, he earned a diploma through a correspondence course."
  • "The following year, he acquired work in LaBute's Your Friends & Neighbors (1998) with further performances under the director/writer's guidance to include: Nurse Betty (2000) as Del Sizemore and Possession (2002) as Roland Michell, the romantic lead." -> "Under LaBute's guidance, he worked in the director's films Your Friends & Neighbors (1998), Nurse Betty (2000), and Possession (2002)." I'm not sure how important it is to note which roles he played, as the movies listed weren't exactly notable.
  • "In 2000, Eckhart gained wide recognition as the pony-tailed, George, in Steven Soderbergh's critically acclaimed film, Erin Brockovich." -> "In 2000, Eckhart gained wide recognition as George in Steven Soderbergh's critically acclaimed film Erin Brockovich." I don't think it's too important to note that he has a ponytail. Also, the comma before "Erin Brockovich" is unnecessary because "Erin Brockovich" is an essential element.
    • Done and I had someone copy-edit the article, which had that comma in that sentence. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 18:46, 28 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • "By 2006, he received a Golden Globe nomination..." "By 2006" should probably be "In 2006".
  • "In 2008, he starred in the big-budget studio film, The Dark Knight, where he played the role of District Attorney Harvey Dent, and his villainous alter-ego, Two-Face." -> "In 2008, he starred in the big-budget studio film The Dark Knight, where he played District Attorney Harvey Dent and his villainous alter-ego Two-Face."
    • Done. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 18:46, 28 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • "In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, in regards to his Mormon faith, he revealed: ..." -> "In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, he revealed, ..." I don't think "in regards to his Mormon faith" is necessary, since the quote is apparently about his Mormon faith (or lack thereof).
    • "In 1971, the Eckhart family moved to England where they resided in Walton-on-Thames, Surrey, and where Eckhart attended American Community School, where he had his first acting experiences, starting in a school production as Charlie Brown." -> "In 1971, the Eckharts moved to Walton-on-Thames, England; there, Eckhart attended the American Community School, where he began acting in school productions."
      • I'm gonna say that this sentence has to stay. The other peer review, I was told that details about his early life and all of that need to be on the article, if the article wants to become an FA. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 15:13, 29 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • Well, I don't know what the protocol is (is there even one?), but the fact that he played Charlie Brown doesn't seem all that significant to me. Of course, you might want to check other featured articles about actors/entertainers and see if there's anything similar.
    • "He later moved to Sydney, Australia in 1975, where he attended American International School of Sydney, for his high school, senior year and further developed his acting talents with productions such as Waiting for Godot." -> "In 1975, he moved to Sydney, Australia, where he attended American International School of Sydney for his high school senior year; he further developed his acting skills in productions like Waiting for Godot." "Later" isn't necessary, because the date already implies that.
    • "During the fall of his senior year, Eckhart left school and studied on his own, eventually earning his diploma through an adult education course." -> "In the fall of his senior year, Eckhart left school and studied on his own; he eventually earned his diploma through an adult education course."
    • "This allowed Eckhart time to enjoy a year surfing the island of Hawaii, and the coastal waters of France." How important is this sentence?
      • Very, because he left school to do this and its mentioned on all his bios. I've read. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 15:13, 29 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • "At age seventeen, Eckhart then returned..." Delete the "then".
    • "During his time at Brigham Young..." -> "While at Brigham Young..."
    • "...thus marking Eckhart's on-stage, theatrical debut" I'm sure this would be regarded by most as his theatrical debut, but didn't he act in plays while in England? I know they were only school plays, but still...
      • Wow, I so missed that. What do you recommend the sentence to look like? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 15:13, 29 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • Well, I might put "the role marked Eckhart's professional theatrical debut" or just remove it altogether (depending on your Wikipedia philosophy).
    • "Upon graduation from BYU, Eckhart moved to New York City and worked odd jobs, ranging from bartending, to driving a bus, and to working construction." -> "After graduating from BYU, Eckhart moved to New York City and worked odd jobs, including bartending, bus driving, and construction work."
    • "Within days of obtaining a talent agent, Eckhart appeared in several commercials, then in 1992 made a television appearance as an extra on Beverly Hills, 90210." -> "Eckhart's first television roles were in commercials; in 1992, he appeared as an extra on Beverly Hills, 90210."
      • Question: What about the talent agent? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 15:13, 29 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • Well, I don't think it's too significant, as most actors have (had) talent agents at some point; it would probably be more significant if the talent agent was responsible for his "breakout" role, or if he didn't have one.
    • "He quickly followed this small part with a substantial guest-starring role on the short-lived sitcom Aliens in the Family. Eckhart soon received more guest roles on short-lived television productions as well as an opportunity to act in several documentary re-enactments, and in a made-for-television movie." -> "He followed this small part with roles in documentary re-enactments, made-for-television movies, and short-lived programs like Aliens in the Family."
    • "...play, In the Company of Men." No comma needed here.
    • "Eckhart performed the role of a frustrated, white-collar worker who hatched a plan to woo a deaf, office worker, gain her affections, then unexpectedly dump her." -> "Eckhart played a frustrated white-collar worker who planned to woo a deaf office worker, gain her affections, then suddenly dump her."
    • "Paul Tatara of CNN.com wrote:" Use a comma instead of a colon.
    • "The following year, Eckhart and LaBute collaborated again with Eckhart starring in Your Friends & Neighbors (1998).[13][14] For the role of Barry (a sexually frustrated husband in a dysfunctional marriage), Eckhart was required to gain weight..." -> "The following year, Eckhart starred in another LaBute film, Your Friends & Neighbors (1998), as Barry (a sexually frustrated husband in a dysfunctional marriage). For the role, Eckhart was required to gain weight..."
    • "In 1999, he made an appearance as a football, offensive coordinator in Oliver Stone's, Any Given Sunday." -> "In 1999, he played an offensive coordinator in Oliver Stone's Any Given Sunday."
    • "In 2000, Eckhart gained his first wide-exposure as a pony-tailed biker, named George, in Erin Brockovich. He received positive reviews on his performance. ... Before he was cast in the film, Eckhart claimed that he had not worked for nearly a year." -> "Eckhart first gained wide exposure in 2000 for his performance in Erin Brockovich as George, a pony-tailed biker. He received positive reviews for his performance: ... Eckhart claimed that he had not worked for nearly a year before he was cast in the film." Just a note, "Before he was cast in the film, Eckhart claimed..." makes it seem like he made the claim before he was cast, but I think that you meant to say that he claimed that before he was cast, he had not worked for nearly a year.
      • Yeah, that's what I was aiming for. How would you write the sentence out? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 16:03, 30 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • "Eckhart claimed that he had not worked for nearly a year before he was cast in the film."
    • "Later, he performed in The Pledge, a 2001 film directed by Sean Penn, in which Eckhart played a young detective partnered with a veteran-detective, played by Jack Nicholson. In 2002, Eckhart worked with LaBute in a film adaptation of the Man Booker Prize winning novel, Possession." -> "In the 2001 Sean Penn film The Pledge, Eckhart played a young detective partnered with a veteran detective, played by Jack Nicholson. In 2002, Eckhart worked with LaBute in a film adaptation of the Man Booker-prize winning novel Possession."
    • "That same year, Eckhart appeared in two more films: The Missing, in which he played Cate Blanchett's lover, and then in an action-thriller, Paycheck, opposite Ben Affleck. Paycheck was based upon a short story by science fiction writer, Phillip K. Dick, and garnered negative reviews as it did not meet the expectations of Dick's original story." -> "Also in 2001, Eckhart appeared in The Missing, in which he played Cate Blachett's lover, and in the action-thriller Paycheck opposite Ben Affleck. Paycheck, based on a short story by science fiction writer Phillip K. Dick, garnered negative reviews as it did not meet audiences' expectations."
    • "The following year, Eckhart performed a recurring role on NBC's television hit-series Frasier, in which he played a boyfriend of Dr. Frasier Crane's love interest, Charlotte. He then starred in Suspect Zero, directed by E. Elias Merhige, a thriller about an FBI agent who tracks down a killer who murders serial killers. Suspect Zero earned mixed reviews, but Eckhart's performance was well-acknowledged. In Newsday, film-critic, Kevin Thomas, wrote: ..." -> "The following year on NBC's hit television series Frasier, Eckhart played a boyfriend of Charlotte, Dr. Frasier Crane's love interest. He then starred in E. Elias Merhige's Suspect Zero, a thriller about an FBI agent who tracks down a killer who murders serial killers. The movie earned mixed reviews, but Eckhart's performance was well-received. Newsday film critic Kevin Thomas wrote, ..."
    • "At the close of 2004, Eckhart starred on the London stage, opposite Julia Stiles, in David Mamet's Oleanna at the Garrick Theatre. The drama ran until mid-2004." If he starred in the play at the end of 2004, how could the play have run until mid-2004?
    • "In 2006, he appeared in The Black Dahlia, a film noir in which he played Sergeant Leland "Lee" Blanchard, a detective investigating the murder of Elizabeth Short (later dubbed the Black Dahlia). The film is based on a real 1947 crime." -> "In 2006, he appeared in the film noir The Black Dahlia (based on a real 1947 crime) as Sergeant Leland "Lee" Blanchard, a detective investigating the murder of Elizabeth Short (later dubbed the Black Dahlia)."
    • "... a tobacco lobbyist whose stated purpose was to research the links between smoking cigarettes and lung cancer." -> "... a tobacco lobbyist who researched the link between smoking cigarettes and lung cancer."
    • "It had a limited release in March 2006 and its world-wide release was the following month." -> "It had a limited release in March 2006 and was released worldwide the following month."
    • "In a Chicago Sun-Times film-review, critic Roger Ebert wrote:" -> "Critic Roger Ebert wrote in the Chicago Sun-Times,"
    • "He starred in a romantic comedy, No Reservations (2007), which was a remake of a 2001, German-film, Mostly Martha. Opposite Catherine Zeta-Jones, he starred as a hotshot, up-and-comer, chef. The film was panned with mixed reviews and was unfavorably compared to the original film. Amy Biancolli of the Houston Chronicle however in her review wrote: ..." -> "He starred in No Reservations (2007), a remake of the 2001 German romantic comedy Mostly Martha. He starred opposite Catherine Zeta-Jones as an up-and-coming hotshot chef. The film was panned; it met with mixed reviews and was unfavorably compared to the original film. However, Amy Biancolli of the Houston Chronicle wrote, ..."
    • "The Dark Knight was a financial success, setting a record worldwide, opening-weekend gross of $158,411,483 on its opening day." -> "The Dark Knight was a financial success: with an opening day gross of $158,411,483, it set a worldwide opening-weekend record."
    • "Eckhart next appeared in Alan Ball's Towelhead, an adaption of Alicia Erian’s novel.[68] Towelhead is a film about Jasira, a thirteen-year-old Arab-American who is sent to Houston, Texas, to live with her Lebanese-American father. During her stay, she is sexually abused by her neighbor – Eckhart's character – a profoundly troubled, Army reservist of the first Gulf war." -> "Eckhart next appeared in Alan Ball's Towelhead, an adaption of the Alicia Erian novel of the same name, in which he played a Gulf War Army reservist who sexually abuses his thirteen-year-old Arab-American neighbor."
    • "He is set to appear in a romantic drama, Traveling (2008), as a motivational speaker coming to terms with his own grief, alongside Jennifer Aniston." -> "He is set to appear alongside Jennifer Aniston in a romantic drama, Traveling (2008), as a motivational speaker coming to terms with his own grief."
    • "He was then in a relationship with SHeDAISY's Kristyn Osborn from 2006–2007. Eckhart appears in the country group's video "I'm Taking the Wheel" (he snuggles with Osborn at the end of the clip). The couple have since parted ways." -> "From 2006 to 2007, he was in a relationship with SheDaisy's [I'm pretty sure that it should be capitalized this way, according to the capitalization rules, but you can double-check] Kristyn Osborn." I know that he was probably in the music video because of his relationship, but that leans more toward his professional life than his personal life, so you don't need to mention that he appeared in the video.
    • "During filming of No Reservations, the tabloid news media began reporting that Eckhart and co-star Catherine Zeta-Jones were having an affair. In subject of the alleged affair, he pointed out, by saying: ..." -> "During filming of No Reservations, tabloids reported that Eckhart and co-star Catherine Zeta-Jones were having an affair. On the alleged affair, he said, ..."
    • "Among the actors Eckhart hopes to work with are Jeff Bridges and Angelina Jolie. He has been openly candid about settling down and starting a family, stating, ... With the help of a hypnotist, he ended his drinking, smoking, and partying habits." -> "Among the actors Eckhart hopes to work with are Jeff Bridges and Angelina Jolie. He has stated that he wants to settle down and start a family: [include quote here] Through hypnosis, he quit drinking, smoking, and partying."
      • Done and I ended up removing the statement about him starting a family, since it doesn't seem to be any significance to include. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 17:27, 31 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • "He is a fan of the National Football League (NFL) team, the Oakland Raiders. He owns a ranch in both California and Montana." -> "He is a fan of the National Football League (NFL) team the Raiders. He owns a ranch in California and Montana."
    • One of the article's categories is "American Latter-Day Saints", but Eckhart said "...but I don't know that I'm a Mormon anymore, you know? To be honest, to be perfectly clear, I'd be a hypocrite if I did say that I was..." Also, I would probably move the quotation to the "Personal life" section.
      • I thought of adding it there, but I was very hesitant. But, I'm glad you brought it up and check. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 17:56, 31 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • In all of your citations, the dates are linked. According to the MoS, dates shouldn't be linked unless they're really significant (like September 11, 2001; July 4, 1776; etc.) so in the date parameter of the citation template, write out the dates ("October 14, 2004") and don't link them. (If you put "2008-10-14", Wiki will automatically link them.) There might be a bot or script to do that automatically, but I am not a bot operator and know absolutely nothing about bots.
      • I've read the page, and it states that dates in the article are not supposed to be linked, meaning withing the prose of the article. But, nowhere have I read anything related to the date settings in the references. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 22:45, 31 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]
        • Ah, okay. Thanks for clearing that up.

Comment on references: As you use a lot of online citations, I would advise archiving them at Webcite if you haven't done so already, so you can have a backup copy in case the articles are deleted etc. (Wikipedia allows the use of archived web pages as sources.)

Thank you for the archiving refs. link, I have added refs. that I think are suitable towards the article. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 21:11, 30 October 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Brianboulton: I apologise for being so late getting to the article. I have to say it looks better than when I saw i at FAC last month. I would like to have given it more time, since I believe there are issues relating to punctuation, and possibly redundancies and repetitions, which ought to be sorted out. However, I've done my best with it in the time available, and here are my comments:-

*Lead – "thirteen" should be 13

  • Early life
    • Any reason given why he left school and studied on his own? It seems an unusual thing to do
      • He left the school because he needed a job to support himself, since he moved to Sydney on his own and also because he wanted some time to go out and surf. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 21:00, 13 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
    • "earned his diploma through an adult education course". In the lead this was a correspondence course – which is right?
    • "surfing the island of Hawaii..." I think you mean "surfing in Hawaii". You can’t surf an island, and it’s wrong to describe Hawaii as an "island" anyway
    • You need to lose comma after "Hawaii"
    • "At age seventeen..." Should be "17", and you don’t need "age". "At 17.." will do
    • However, he can’t have returned to the US at 17 – according to your account he was 17 when he went to Australia in 1985. He then went to school, dropped out, got a high school diploma by private study, went for a year’s surfing in Hawaii and France—and he’s still only 17? You need to be more precise about dates and chronology; say precisely when he returned to America, and when he enrolled at BYU. If he didn’t graduate until 1994 I would guess he didn’t go there until 1990 or so, and perhaps did something else in between.
      • He came to the US and took an adult education course to get his high school diploma. I also wounded up fixing some years, which needed to be stated right. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 21:00, 13 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Early work
    • Date thing again. In the previous section you had him graduating in 1994 from BYU. Now you have him apparently in New York, in 1992, making commercials and appearing as a film extra.
    • Trivial point but, despite the link, "offensive coordinator" sounds to British readers like a coordinator who was rude and bad-mannered, rather than a type of football coach. For our sakes, could you say "he played a football coach, an offensive coordinator..."?
  • 2000-2006
    • "He received positive reviews for his performance" sounds a bit lifeless, like "satisfactory" in a school report. My understanding is that this film pitched him into stardom; surely his reception can be described as more than just "positive"?
    • "it ranked at the number three position..." is cumbersome. "it ranked number three..." will do perfectly well
    • You need to explain, briefly, in what way Paycheck failed to meet audience expectations.
    • Parentheses around "(later dubbed...)" are not necessary, but "Black Dahlia" should be in quotes
    • Repeat of full "Conversations..." title is not necessary. Just say "in interviews about this film". You refer to "interviews" (plural), but surely the quote must be from a particular interview?
  • 2006-present
    • Normally, when you say a film was "panned" it means it got a pretty unanimously hostile reception. You say it was panned and had a "mixed reception" meaning some good, some bad comments. This is contradictory, needs rewording. Personally I’d drop panned and just say it had a mixed reception.
    • I’ve linked "eponymous character" (some may not know what this is), and I’ve added a non-break space between 30 and pounds.
  • Personal life
    • Lose the comma after 2007 in first line
    • The last paragraph of the article reads as rather a rag-bag of unrelated facts, presented in pretty well random order. It needs to be made more cohesive, and to have a better flow. I would suggest something like:

In various interviews Eckhart has talked about his beliefs, way of life, and his future career ambitions. Talking to Entertainment Weekly regarding his Mormon faith, he revealed: "I'm sure people think I'm a Mormon, but I don't know that I'm a Mormon anymore, you know? To be honest, to be perfectly clear, I'd be a hypocrite if I did say that I was, just because I haven't lived that lifestyle for so many years."[1] In other interviews he has divulged that, through hypnosis, he quit drinking, smoking, and partying,[2][3] that in his spare time he enjoys photography,[4] and that he is a fan of the National Football League (NFL) team, the Oakland Raiders.[5] He owns ranches in California and Montana.[6][7] In an interview with Parade magazine, Eckhart revealed that before he discovered acting he wanted to become a songwriter.[8] For the future, among the actors Eckhart hopes to work with are Jeff Bridges and Angelina Jolie.[9]

Not perfect, perhaps, but at least it sort of unites the various statements.

Works fine and thank you for the suggestion. :) --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 21:00, 13 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I hope these comments help you to improve the article and perhaps give it another go at FAC. Brianboulton (talk) 19:38, 13 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  1. ^ Kirschling, Gregory (2006-03-17). "Aaron Eckhart Unfiltered". Entertainment Weekly. ew.com. Retrieved 2008-09-23. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
  2. ^ Cite error: The named reference guard was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  3. ^ Zimmerman, Mike. "Life Lessons From Aaron Eckhart". Men's Health. menshealth.com. Retrieved 2008-09-23.
  4. ^ Williams, Andrew (2006-06-19). "60 Seconds: Aaron Eckhart". Metro (Associated Metro Limited). metro.co.uk. Retrieved 2008-09-18. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
  5. ^ Cite error: The named reference looks was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  6. ^ Blades, Nicole (2008-07-16). "Aaron Eckhart Interview". Women's Health. womenshealthmag.com. Retrieved 2008-10-24.
  7. ^ Berk, Phillip (2008-09-16). "Man of the Hour" (Web). Filmink. filmink.com.au. Retrieved 2008-10-03. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
  8. ^ Cite error: The named reference crazy career was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
  9. ^ Nersessian, Mary (2004-08-25). "Just don't hurt him". The Globe and Mail. theglobeandmail.com. Retrieved 2008-10-27. {{cite news}}: Italic or bold markup not allowed in: |publisher= (help)
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