Wikipedia:Peer review/Laguna del Maule (volcano)/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because I want to renominate it for featured article status. The preceding nomination closed out, apparently, due to lack of comments but I wanted to see
Thanks, Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:08, 27 September 2020 (UTC) (Pinging participants of my previous two FACses this year in case anyone is interested: @HJ Mitchell, Mike Christie, Gog the Mild, Buidhe, SandyGeorgia, CPA-5, Fowler&fowler, Iridescent, Factotem, Beyond My Ken, DoctorSpeed, WereSpielChequers, MONGO, FunkMonk, Ian Rose, and Nikkimaria: Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 14:08, 27 September 2020 (UTC))
- I supported last time around, so just ping me when you nominate it again, then I'll support. FunkMonk (talk) 22:52, 27 September 2020 (UTC)
- Same here! DoctorSpeed ✉️ ✨
- I had a look at the article at Sandy's request (and because I'm very grateful for your work at the CBC FAC). I'm way out of my depth here, so forgive me if my comments are clueless. Some things I noticed while skimming:
during pre-last glacial times
- I understand this is a technical term, but it's a confusing read for a dummy like me (during... pre... last?) Could this be changed to something like "prior to the last glacial period"?- Yes. Sometimes ESL-limited vocabulary shows up in my writing ... removed it. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 12:45, 30 September 2020 (UTC)
The field was a source of obsidian with regional importance.
- when was this?Among the various structures in the volcanic field
- is "various" necessary?- No; removed it. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 12:45, 30 September 2020 (UTC)
Past glaciation of this part of the Andes left traces in adjacent valleys,[3] such as their U-shaped or trench-shaped outline, shapes associated with glacial action.[30] The older volcanics of Laguna del Maule have been disproportionately eroded by glacial action
- repetition of "glacial action" at the end of both sentences.. I'm not sure that the phrase is necessary in the first sentence because it already implies the shape is caused by "past glaciation".- Removed it. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 12:45, 30 September 2020 (UTC)
Laguna del Maule has erupted andesite, basaltic andesite,[12] basalt,[40] dacite,[2] rhyodacite and rhyolite.[40] The andesites and basaltic andesites having medium K contents.
- sentence fragment. Is there a reason to use "K" instead of "potassium"?- Rewrote this. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 12:45, 30 September 2020 (UTC)
A minimum long-term magma supply rate of 0.0005 cubic kilometres per year
- magma should be linked on first occurrence- Linked. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 12:45, 30 September 2020 (UTC)
- I don't understand what "unit rcb", "unit rle", etc. mean in the eruption tables... is it possible to add a footnote explaining this terminology?
- According to https://academic.oup.com/petrology/article/58/1/85/3072153 they are abbreviations used by a source which I don't have access to. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 12:45, 30 September 2020 (UTC)
- Should be obtainable through WP:RX. FunkMonk (talk) 12:46, 30 September 2020 (UTC)
This rhyolitic flare up
- believe flare-up needs a hyphen. I don't understand what this sentence is saying at all. Is it referring to the immediately precedingrhyodacitic Colada Dendriforme (unit rcd[24]) in the western part of the field
- but that says "rhyodacitic"? Is it referring to the undated post-glacial units in general? "Flare up" sounds like it is referring to eruptions, but in the next part of the sentence we are told it is a structure. Can this be clarified for lay readers?- Added hyphen and changed the word. The source does not really bother to explain the rhyodacite/rhyolite thing, but AFAIK lots of petrologists only know dacite and rhyolite, so perhaps one could consider rhyodacite as part of rhyolite. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 12:45, 30 September 2020 (UTC)
- In general the article is very dense with a lot of technical language. Some of this is clearly unavoidable but I think it would be helpful to describe some of the terms that come up repeatedly-e.g. rhyolitic, ignimbrite, stratigraphic unit, in plain language at first occurrence. Spicy (talk) 18:22, 29 September 2020 (UTC)
- @Spicy:Added explainers to some terms, but when it comes to terminology generally I need help with spotting the problematic wordings. Didn't try to explain rhyolite as the definitions I found aren't any better. Jo-Jo Eumerus (talk) 12:45, 30 September 2020 (UTC)