Wikipedia:Peer review/Laurence Olivier/archive2

Laurence Olivier

Need some ideas on where to expand content, to hopefully get to FA status. ...._(Complain)^{(Let us to it pell-mell)} 07:26, 5 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Two of the images are being used under a fair-use claim and in both cases the rationale is very shaky. The rationale given for Image:VivienLeighLaurenceOlivierinFireOverEngland.jpg sound much more like a rationale for why that image should be used in Fire Over England (where it isn't used) than why it should be used in Laurence Olivier. And Image:Oliviertimecover.jpg is a TIME magazine cover being used in an article with no discussion on the significance of the subject's appearance on TIME magazine. User:Angr 11:31, 5 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I originally uploaded Image:VivienLeighLaurenceOlivierinFireOverEngland.jpg for the Vivien Leigh article in the belief it was fair use, however it turns out the film itself is public domain. I have retagged the image accordingly, and there is no problem with its use as far as I can determine. Rossrs 14:19, 31 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, Andy _t 21:42, 5 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]
The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and may or may not be accurate for the article in question.
Per WP:CONTEXT and WP:MOSDATE, months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.
If this article is about a person, please add {{persondata}} along with the required parameters to the article - see Wikipedia:Persondata for more information.
Per WP:MOSNUM, there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 18mm, use 18 mm, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 18 mm.
Per WP:MOS#Headings, headings generally do not start with the word "The". For example, ==The Biography== would be changed to ==Biography==.
Please alphabetize the categories and interlanguage links.
There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view. For example,
- apparently
- might be weasel words, and should be provided with proper citations (if they already do, or are not weasel terms, please ~~strike~~ this comment).
Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
- Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “~~All~~ pigs are pink, so we thought of ~~a number of~~ ways to turn them green.”
Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that the it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 2a.
You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions (and the javascript checklist; see the last paragraph in the lead) for further ideas.
Thanks, Andy _t 21:35, 5 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

That's all? I'm talking FA here! ...._(Complain)^{(Let us to it pell-mell)} 06:15, 12 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Well, now were GA. But suggestions are welcome. ...._(Complain)^{(Let us to it pell-mell)} 06:19, 14 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Too many red links. Either create stubs for those pages, or remove them. Links are also repeated several times (ie. Jill Esmond is linked in one paragraph, and then in the paragraph directly after it). The opening also needs to be redone, you repeat Academy Award three times in the first sentence, and the sentence about him being called the greatest film actor of the 20th century needs to be sourced; avoid weasel words. Try something along these lines:

Laurence Kerr Olivier, Baron Olivier of Brighton, OM (22 May 1907 – 11 July 1989) was an Academy Award-winning English actor, director, and producer. Many film critics, including xxx and yyy, have regarded him as the greatest actor of the 20th century.^{[citation needed]} His career stretched over several decades, prolific both on stage and in film, where he played a wide variety of roles, from Shakespeare's Othello, to a Nazi dentist in Marathon Man. ♠ SG →Talk 17:27, 27 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

That issue has been discussed on the talk page. As for the Academy Awards, whilst he was an Oscar winning actor and producer, he was only an Oscar nominated director. You see the difficulty? ...._(Complain)^{(Let us to it pell-mell)} 22:36, 30 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

It also places incorrect emphasis on his film career. ie by mentioning the film career first and the stage career second it suggests the film career was the greater of the two. He was first and foremost an actor - the medium/s is/are secondary. Do we have to mention the Academy Awards in the first line of his biography as if this was his greatest achievement? The links suggested are to film director and film producer although he directed and produced quite notably for the theatre. The "greatest actor" comment as suggested is attributed to "film critics". It's just too much about film. I greatly dislike the thought of using film titles to demonstrate a "range" of roles as it's very POV. You could pick any two films to demonstrate any particular spectrum so why these two? I agree the opening needs to be redone, but I don't think this is the right way. In it's current version Academy Award appears 3 times which I think is worse than what was suggested here. Rossrs 14:19, 31 July 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The film emphasis has been partly removed. ...._(Complain)^{(Let us to it pell-mell)} 02:19, 1 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]