Wikipedia:Peer review/Mr. Stain/archive1

Mr. Stain[edit]

I've listed this article for peer review because…

new info has been added to it and it has changed from its previous version

any suggestions for improving this article will be more than appreciated Thanks,

Binarymoron (talk) 12:41, 29 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Although this article looks significantly better than the old version at first glance, it still feels very much like a stub to me. Here are some suggestions for possible expansion:

The article seems to be almost entirely slanted towards the American version of it. You should give more information on the Japanese version other than just the little in the info-box (i.e. what company makes it, etc.).

DoneBinarymoron (talk) 07:09, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

An entire section could be made on production. What made Ryuji Masuda create the series? Why did he create it the way he did? How is it produced?

Not done lack of proper information.Binarymoron (talk) 05:26, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Expand the music section. Tell more about the music, who composed it, how it is recorded (i.e. digital, orchestra, individual musicians, etc.).

Not done lack of proper information.Binarymoron (talk) 05:26, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

What was the critical reception of the series? Has there been any noteworthy praise, criticism, etc. of the series? Did someone notable love it or hate it?

DoneBinarymoron (talk) 07:09, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Did the series air on TV or was it a web series originally? What channel did it air on in Japan? In America? What were the ratings like in both countries? Is it significant for any reason in any other country?

DoneBinarymoron (talk) 07:09, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

You quote a lot of the information from the special features of the DVDs. Can you incorporate this information into expanding other sections instead of putting it into the DVD section? Maybe just list all the special features in one list. In general, the DVD section should usually be very simple and straightforward.

DoneBinarymoron (talk) 07:09, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Your description of the show I'm really just picturing a cross between Wile E. Coyote and Teletubbies. You should really expand it in a plot section and tell exactly what goes on in each episode. Make the reader who's never seen the series picture exactly what the series is about.

DoneBinarymoron (talk) 07:09, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I corrected some style issues myself but your references are cited wrong. See WP:REF for information on how to cite your sources within the article. Remember, in general, anything that I wouldn't know about the series just through common knowledge, since I haven't seen it, should be cited within the article.

DoneBinarymoron (talk) 07:09, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Also remember your consistency in number usage. In general, numbers under one hundred should be written out (e.g. one instead of 1). I corrected some of these I saw within the article.

DoneBinarymoron (talk) 07:09, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I hope this helps. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. -- Redfarmer (talk) 21:45, 29 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style. If you would find such a review helpful, please click here. Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:46, 5 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done requested CopyEdit.Unnecessary terms have been removed. Binarymoron (talk) 07:39, 10 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The above reviews are for the older version of Mr. Stain, links are

Redfarmer's review for :this

And

Ruhrfisch's review for :this

The current version is the revised version of Mr. Stain.

It would be helpful if you could help me with the not done portions of the article (marked above). Thanks, Binarymoron (talk) 08:20, 9 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Non automated comments from Ruhrfisch

Reference tags should have a space after them. I fixed those int he two lead paragraphs, but the rest need this too.

DoneBinarymoron (talk) 11:33, 13 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Dates need to be wikilinked, fixed the first two.

DoneBinarymoron (talk) 11:33, 13 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I don't understand this: "The CGI was produced by FUNimation Entertainment and broadcasted in Japan by Kids Station, beginning January 6, 2003, on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at 12 p.m. (JST). The show also premiered between 10:50 p.m. and 23:30 p.m.(JST) on December 31, 2002.[4]" I would list the premier first, then the usual air times. Also 10:50 p.m. makes sense, but 23:30 pm does not - either "between 10:50 and 11:30 p.m." or "between 22:50 and 23:30". I think most casual readers would understand the p.m. version better.

DoneBinarymoron (talk) 11:33, 13 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

You might want to find a featured article or good article on an animated series and use it as a model for the article.

Y using Excel Saga Binarymoron (talk) 11:33, 13 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The characters table refers to episode number, but the list of episodes does so by title and "Volume" number. The table of characters seems a bit much - could there just be a list of major characters and then the details on the minor ones could be in the episode summaries?

Done ~~still working on the character list~~ Binarymoron (talk) 14:15, 14 January 2008 (UTC) Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 02:40, 12 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Instead of al ist of characters, how about a paragraph or two describing them? Start with Mr. Stain, then talk about the characters who appear in the most episodes (volumes) (the cats?). Then maybe move on to characters by type - robots together, or love interests, or birds?

Done Binarymoron (talk) 17:26, 16 January 2008 (UTC) Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 22:45, 13 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

In the lead paragraphs it says "There is no dialogue, just music and sound effects, similar to the old Looney Tunes cartoons." I did not know there were Looney Tunes without dialogue. My question is, if there is no dialogue, how do we know the characters' names?

Done Binarymoron (talk) 16:26, 17 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

In the Characters section, can you give examples of how the names suggest their fates or roles? In the list it mentions the fish named "Eaten" - any others? Also why is Mr. Stain called that? What does Palvan mean and are there any differences between the Japanese and English names in meaning (if you translated the Japanese names into English, would they all be the same)? You might want to mention here that Mr. Stain is the only character who appears in all episodes, Palvan next, etc. Some characters roles are more obvious than others - Lost kitten needs no explanation, but who is Stephanie? Is Handsome Stain real? Would "abandoned" be a better description of the baby than "deserted"?

Done the cast names only appear in english, I added this in the lead.

"Also why is Mr. Stain called that? What does Palvan mean?"

have to be answered. Binarymoron (talk) 16:26, 17 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Storyline - no references in any of the four paragraphs (plus none in the last pragraph of Characters). Pehaps a quote or two about the story from a reviewer could be used here?

Done

Episodes - these are mostly fairl well written

Y

General - still needs a copyedit, cleanup. Probably by someone who has seen the show. Hope this helps answer your question, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:28, 17 January 2008 (UTC)[reply]