Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 July 24

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This is my first article and any assistance would be appreciated


~~Termspec (talk) 00:14, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]


Congratulations on writing up a rough draft for your first article, I can tell you've put a lot of work into it. Now the hard work really *starts*. Take a look at your first article, there are a lot of good resources there, paying special attention to the Gathering resources, Things to avoid and Be careful about sections.

  • I read over your draft and the major issue with it right now is with the References section...they all refer back to Wikipedia articles. I'm afraid that these references are not acceptable since Wikipedia cannot refer back to itself to prove itself. Sources need to be third-party verifiable sources. SInce the subject in question is medically related, you'll also need to pay special attention to identifying sources for medically-related articles.
  • Another major issue is the name of the article which seems to be a product name. If so, the name might be trademarked and/or under copyright and material used in Wikipedia articles is usually copyright-free. Frequently Asked Questions about 'Copyright' and Wikipedia has always been helpful to me when I have questions about Wikipedia & copyright.
  • The only mention I found online for the product is a news report that said it didn't work for their test-subject, so you might have a notability issue. Wikipedia is an encyclopedia for the digital age, The Fundamental Principles of Wikipedia gives a great overview of what is called 'the five pillars' to WIkipedia.

Hope this all helps,

Shearonink (talk) 23:00, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

How to find the 'talk page' for this article? Thanks.


~~Software-surprise (talk) 06:09, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]


To place a comment on the article's talk page, click on the link and look up at the top of the page. In the upper left-hand corner and next to the 'userpage' tab, there will be a Red 'Discussion' tab. It is in red because nothing's been written there yet. Click on it, and that is the talkpage.

Shearonink (talk) 16:10, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]


~~Thehenleylist (talk) 10:42, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nice little stub; consider adding names to the references, like this:
example sentence <ref>[http://www.example.com/article|Example reference name]</ref>

Also,, consider adding an infobox like Template:Infobox person or something similar. Chevymontecarlo - alt 05:48, 25 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Any feedback on my new article about Alottawata would be great!

~~Curtis McCrea (talk) 14:52, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please try and rewrite the article to make the tone more neutral; at the moment the article reads/sounds like an advertisement for the park. Please also try and find more reliable references to add to the article to try and make the article's subject more notable and therefore more suitable for a Wikipedia article. Also an Infobox would be a good thing to add. Chevymontecarlo - alt 07:51, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have added a photo and transcript that pertains to the main article on the talk page, as I don't know how one should incorporate the information into the main page. Can you please advise?

~~EdMcDonagh (talk) 16:44, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not sure; you might want to ask on our Live help chat or on our Help Desk. Chevymontecarlo - alt 07:47, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Just created this stub on a short-lived BBC Radio programme from the 1970s. If it eventually becomes a Wikipedia page I will add a link from the Today (BBC Radio 4) page as it is closely related. However I have just realised I cannot create the page myself as I have not yet carried out the requisite 10 edits.


~~Jacko1972 (talk) 20:04, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent job. Consider adding an infobox such as Template:Infobox radio show. Chevymontecarlo - alt 07:44, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I am assisting Perryjarvis (talk · contribs) to create a biography of a living person BLP, Polly Morgan. As this is our first BLP, we would welcome feedback on the article before moving it to main article space. We will endeavour to answer any comments you make as quickly as possible. When you believe the article is ready for moving, please let us know ~~Senra (talk) 20:38, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've made a few improvements, but a picture would be a good thing to add to the infobox. Other than that it seems okay; you've got all the references and links that are needed. Sounds like an interesting article; well done you two. Chevymontecarlo - alt 07:42, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for your response. I have put the one image I have into the infobox --Senra (talk) 08:47, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Excellent. Other than that, I don't think there's any immediate problems. If you make any major improvements, feel free to make a fresh request here. Chevymontecarlo - alt 05:47, 27 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

New article, I think everything is OK, but I'd like another set of eyes. Thanks. ~~kevyn (talk) 23:45, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, can't really see anything bad with the article. Well done! Chevymontecarlo - alt 07:36, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for the review! kevyn (talk) 08:09, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

New stub, I think everything is OK, but again, I'd like another set of eyes. Thanks. ~~kevyn (talk) 23:48, 24 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nice. A picture would be good but not essential. Chevymontecarlo - alt 07:35, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks again for reviewing my work. Could you please remove the "unreviewed" tag? I agree a photo would be nice, but I'm not sure where to find one!kevyn (talk) 08:10, 26 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]