Rules of Acquisition

For the episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, see Rules of Acquisition (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine).

The Rules of Acquisition, in the fictional Star Trek universe, are a set of guidelines intended to ensure the profitability of businesses owned by members of the ultra-capitalist alien race known as Ferengi.

In the Deep Space Nine episode titled "The Maquis: Part 1", Sakonna, a Vulcan, asked Quark to explain what a Rule of Acquisition was. He stated: "Every Ferengi business transaction is governed by 285 rules of acquisition to insure a fair and honest deal for all parties concerned... well most of them anyway."

Background

The first rule was made by Gint, the first Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance, a role with political, economic, and even quasi-religious duties. The title of "Rules of Acquisition" was chosen as a clever marketing ploy (since the rules are merely guidelines) and Gint numbered his first rule as #162, in order to create a demand for the other 161 Rules that had yet to be written. The Rules were said to be divinely inspired and sacred (thus furthering the original marketing ploy).

Although it has been stated within Star Trek that there are 285 rules, not all of them have been stated in canon. Most of the rules were written by Ira Steven Behr and he published many of them in a book The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (ISBN 0-671-52936-6), the cover of which credits authorship as being "By Quark as told to Ira Steven Behr." Additional rules were published in Legends of the Ferengi (ISBN 0-671-00728-9), by Behr and Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Behr and Wolfe were both writers for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine with Behr being the Executive Producer of the series.

In the Voyager episode False Profits is mentioned about the book: "Unabridged and fully annotated with all 47 commentaries, all 900 major and minor judgments, all 10,000 considered opinions. There's a rule for every conceivable situation". There is also a note about The Unwritten Rule: "When no appropriate rule applies... make one up."

Stages of Acquisition

In addition to the Rules, Ferengi recognize five Stages of Acquisition:

1. Infatuation: An unreasoning love or attraction … "I want it."
2. Justification: Moral excuse used to explain … "I must have it!"
3. Appropriation: To take to one's self in exclusion of others … "IT'S MINE AT LAST!"
4. Obsession: A compulsive or irrational preoccupation … "My Precious!"
5. Resale: The action of selling something previously bought … "Make me an offer."

Mentioned Rules

Any additions to this list of Mentioned Rules should also cite the source so its authenticity can be verified.

Rule 1: Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rule 2: The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
Rule 3: Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Rule 4: A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen. (DS9 Novel)
Rule 5: If you can't break a contract, bend it.
Rule 6: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule 7: Keep your ears open.
Rule 8: Small print leads to large risk.
Rule 9: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Rule 10: Greed is eternal.
Rule 11: Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
Rule 12: Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
Rule 13: Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
Rule 14: Anything stolen is pure profit.
Rule 15: Acting stupid is often smart.
Rule 16: A deal is a deal...until a better one comes along.
Rule 17: A contract is a contract is a contract...but only between Ferengi.
Rule 18: A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Rule 19: Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Rule 20: When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
Rule 21: Never place friendship above profit.
Rule 22: A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Rule 23: Nothing is more important than your health, except for your money.
Rule 24: Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
Rule 25: You can't make a deal if you're dead.
Rule 26: The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; they stole it.
Rule 27: There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Rule 28: Morality is always defined by those in power.
Rule 29: When someone says "It's not the money", they're lying!
Rule 30: Talk is cheap; synthehol makes profit.
Rule 31: Never insult a Ferengi's mother. Quote: Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother!
Rule 32:
Rule 33: It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Rule 34: War is good for business.
Rule 35: Peace is good for business.
Rule 36: Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore.
Rule 37: You can always buy back a lost reputation.
Rule 38: Free advertising is cheap.
Rule 39: Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers.
Rule 40: She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
Rule 41: Profit is its own reward.
Rule 42: Only negotiate when you are certain to profit.
Rule 43: Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
Rule 44: Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Rule 45: Expand or die. (reportedly this rule was given to the Ferengi by the Breen)
Rule 46: Labour camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person.
Rule 47: Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
Rule 48: The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Rule 49: Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent.
Rule 50: Never bluff a Klingon.
Rule 51: Never admit a mistake if there's someone else to blame.
Rule 52: Never ask when you can take.
Rule 53: Sell first; ask questions later.
Rule 54: Never buy anything you can't sell.
Rule 55: Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.
Rule 56: Pursue profit; women come later.
Rule 57: Good customers are as rare as latinum—treasure them.
Rule 58: There is no substitute for success.
Rule 59: Free advice is seldom cheap.
Rule 60: Keep your lies consistent.
Rule 62: The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Rule 65: Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
Rule 69: When she discusses money for "favors", charge her what she'll pay.
Rule 74: Knowledge equals profit.
Rule 75: Home is where the heart is...but the stars are made of latinum.
Rule 76: Every once in a while, declare peace....it confuses the hell out of your enemies.
Rule 77: If you break it, I'll charge you for it.(ST:O)
Rule 79: Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
Rule 82: The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Rule 85: Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
Rule 89: Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
Rule 94: Females and finances don't mix.
Rule 95: Expand...or die.^{[Error: this is a repeat of #45]}
Rule 97: Enough...is never enough.
Rule 98: Every man has his price.
Rule 99: Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Rule 102: Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
Rule 103: Sleep can interfere with opportunity.
Rule 104: Faith moves mountains...of inventory.
Rule 106: There is no honor in poverty.
Rule 109: Dignity and an empty sack...is worth the sack.
Rule 111: Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them.
Rule 112: Never have sex with the boss' sister.
Rule 113: Always have sex with the boss.
Rule 121: Everything is for sale, even friendship.
Rule 123: Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
Rule 125: You can't make a deal if you're dead.^{[Error: this is a repeat of #25]}
Rule 139: Wives serve, brothers inherit.
Rule 141: Only fools pay retail.
Rule 144: There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Rule 162: Even in the worst of times, someone makes a profit.
Rule 168: Whisper your way to success.
(unnumbered, but mentioned as part of the "original" 173) A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
Rule 177: Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
Rule 181: Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Rule 189: Let others keep their reputation...you keep their latinum.
Rule 190: Hear all, trust nothing.
Rule 192: Never cheat a Klingon...unless you can get away with it.
Rule 194: It's always good business to know your customers before they walk in the door.
Rule 202: The justification for profit is profit.
Rule 203: New customers are like razor-toothed greeworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
Rule 208: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
Rule 211: Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
Rule 213: If you don't know what you're doing, make it up as you go.
Rule 214: Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
Rule 217: You can't free a fish from water.
Rule 218: Always know what you're buying.
Rule 223: Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
Rule 229: Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Rule 236: You can't buy fate.
Rule 239: Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Rule 242: More is good...all is better.
Rule 255: A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.
Rule 261: A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Rule 263: Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
Rule 266: When in doubt, lie.
Rule 269: Never trust a merchant who insists on using their own scales.
Rule 270: Always insist on using your own scales.
Rule 284: Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
Rule 285: No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Rule 286: When Morn leaves, it's all over. (made up by Quark)
Rule 299: Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time. (A fake rule made up by Neelix in an episode of Star Trek: Voyager.)

External links

• Rules of Acquisition at Memory Alpha (a Star Trek wiki)