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[[User:Marjieruthhadad|Marjieruthhadad]] ([[User talk:Marjieruthhadad|talk]]) 19:38, 14 June 2009 (UTC) |
[[User:Marjieruthhadad|Marjieruthhadad]] ([[User talk:Marjieruthhadad|talk]]) 19:38, 14 June 2009 (UTC) |
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== Proposed New Entry for Civil-military Relations == |
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I am preparing a new entry for Civil-military Relations and would like some feed-back before posting. It is available at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Inbody/Civil-military_Relations |
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Please give me your thoughts. |
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[[User:Inbody|Inbody]] ([[User talk:Inbody|talk]]) 01:45, 16 June 2009 (UTC) |
Revision as of 01:45, 16 June 2009
Requests for Feedback |
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I've worked on this article for three months, bringing it from a stub(which I deleted) and brought it to the current status. I'd like some feedback on ways the article can be improved.(Note: This inquiry is limited to pre-1911). Teeninvestor (talk) 02:05, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
- Unfortunately I don't have time to read the article at the moment but it looks well-sourced and comprehensive. If you think that it is ready for that, you might want to put it up at Wikipedia:Peer review. On first glance the choice of pictures could suggest that the article is about art in China rather than economy. Maybe you could add economy related graphs or maps of trade routes, etc to the article. I am not familiar with the subject though. If these suggestions don't make sense, just ignore them.bamse (talk) 02:19, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
I've written Frank D'Angelo, and am interested in getting some feedback on what research I can do to make it better. Anything helps... this is my first page and I want to get into some good habits.
Alexthepuffin (talk) 16:32, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
- Hi! You might wanna take skim through WP:BETTER which is a page about how you can make articles better. Nice job getting so many references for the article so far. One thing to do is to stay on topic. Its easy to start getting into particulars of his different business choices, but we have to remember this is a general biography, and some detailed specifics can probably go into the relative company articles. Also, you might wanna work on fixing the shorter sections. You might try to combine some information and short paragraphs to consolidate sections. For instance, the "Restaurant" and "Other Controversies" sections have 1 sentence each. Try to consolidate the sections or form subsections, perhaps. Adding an infobox might also help the article. There's the general
{{Infobox person}}
or you could look around and find one that might fit this specific person better. Also, trying to find a picture of him wouldn't hurt either. Killiondude (talk) 20:42, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
- These are great suggestions, thank you. I have removed things that are duplicates of what is in Steelback Brewery to keep the topic on him, not his companies. I also merged some sections and used subsections for his businesses and controversies. Some of those subsections have just once sentence. Do you think that makes sense? I've hunted for a photo of him, but I just can't find one that has the right license. But there are lots of press photos of him. Alexthepuffin (talk) 21:38, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
How to organize knowledge.
I read a Talk posted 23 March 2009 at 19:45 in WikiProject Chemistry which gave me an idea of how to provides a guide for organizing knowledge: Tetrahedral molecular geometry article the Periodic Table is sliced up tetrahedron provides an example of how I would envision proceeding. For one example, the human condition could begin with four major areas that are called blocks(one suggestion for example: reality, desires, perceptions, and ideas). As used in chemistry, as was recently discovered,those blocks, if ordered and proportioned in accordance with specific criteria, are simply the slices of regular tetrahedron. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Elderorphan (talk • contribs) 20:51, 31 May 2009 (UTC)
- I'm not sure what you're saying, really. But I know this probably isn't the correct venue. This page is to request feedback for articles. ;-) Killiondude (talk) 20:48, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
I've expanded Central Morocco Tamazight from a one-sentence article. However I recognize that it would be better to have the information coming from more sources. Does this article still deserve its start-class rating? Also, what would be good to add? Mo-Al (talk) 23:10, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
The article ktiv male has been developed significantly since it was last rated. At what level of quality is it now? Mo-Al (talk) 23:56, 2 June 2009 (UTC)
- I was going to suggest that you ask at WP:HEBREW for a fuller review, but I see that WP:JUDAISM has superseded them. I don't think the article can be assessed higher than start quality right now because there's only 1 reference that is cited. Also note that we don't place external links in the body of an article, nor links to other Wikimedia wikis (in the body). I think if there were around 5 more references, this could be C-Class. But like I said, you should ask WP:JUDAISM on their talk page. They'd be able to give more pointers on how to make this specific article better. Killiondude (talk) 21:06, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
Article Deleted! Why?
I wrote a short article on the Kilnhurst MFC (Model Flying Club) giving a little bit of information about the club and that it is located at a wood called Kilnhurst coppice in staffordshire UK. Kilnhurst meaning "Kiln in the wood" and its relation to a local brick works. the article has been deleted I assume as it was about a club or company YET you allow The Microsoft Corporation. Please explain as my article would have been of interest to local people! Mjdennison (talk) 11:48, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
- Did you read the explanation at User talk:Mjdennison#Speedy deletion nomination of Kilnhurst mfc ? bamse (talk) 15:36, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
- See also Wikipedia:Why was my page deleted?. Killiondude (talk) 16:36, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
Yep I read it and whilst Kilnhurst MFC is a club the article did have local interesting information. It also it states that it may have been deleted "because the article appears to be about a company or corporation, but it does not indicate how or why the subject is important or significant: that is, why an article about that subject should be included in an encyclopedia" Well as I stated above The Microsoft Corporation is a company and that is included and just because some people don't think information about the history of a local wood and brickworks is interesting it is wrong to assume that others won't either! so why not remove The Microsoft Corporation as I bet there are people who think that it is also uninteresting!!!
Mjdennison (talk) 08:48, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
Not having seen your article, I would guess that notability is the problem here. Basically you have to show with reliable (third party) sources that the club is worthy of inclusion in wikipedia. bamse (talk) 14:50, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
Thanks for your help but I guess it's a bit "chicken and egg" as in, the article needs to be about something people know about but that limits anything new regardless of its level of interest. rather destroys the idea of an Encyclopedia, it feels to me that Wikipedia only want chickens and I only have an egg! so I guess its not what I thought so I'll give it a miss from now on, until now I was unaware just how much was NOT included in Wikipedia. Anyway thanks again for your help Mjdennison (talk) 22:41, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
I have extensively rewritten, referenced, and cited this article. I would like a more experienced editor to look at it, provide feedback, and if approprate let me know the proceedures to upgrade the article from start class
Ecragg (talk) 12:08, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
Need help making this neutral and postable....please help!!!
The information in the collapsed box was posted by Lipprint66 (talk · contribs) on 13:34, June 4, 2009. -Killiondude (talk) 16:38, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
MOB Clothing article
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Married to the MOB, also known as MTTM or simply MOB, is a women’s streetwear clothing line started by Leah McSweeney in 2004. The line is inspired by New York streets and clubs and rocks a chic, but not-to-be-messed with attitude that attracts style-confident females everywhere. Leah McSweeney (born in 1982 in New York City) is founder and CEO of the successful female Married to the MOB clothing line. Her early years were spent in New York City until she was thrown out in eighth grade from an all girls catholic school, Convent of the Sacred Heart, whose alumni include Lady Gaga and the Hilton Sisters. Afterwards, Leah’s family moved to Newtown, Connecticut where she ran away every weekend to get back to her NYC roots. Once Leah finished high school, she moved back to the Big Apple and went to the Fashion Institute of Technology for one week before calling it quits. Tired of seeing guys having the coolest gear and brands, Leah had the brilliant idea of creating her own female clothing line , Married to the MOB, in 2004. Leah used her settlement of $75,000 (from a law suit stemming from a police officer attack) to jumpstart her idea and bought an Apple computer and painted her Spring Street apartment walls pink. Leah’s apartment became the Married to the MOB headquarters; everyone from Leah's model sister and MOB poster girl Sarah McSweeney to her teenage friend Tabatha McGurr, daughter of well-known graffiti artist Futura 2000, became part of the crew. The clothing line grew from there, and Leah switched her headquarters to the Empire State Building. McSweeney has been included in a multitude of publications, such as [Elle Girl], [Inked (magazine)], [Complex (magazine)], [Elle (magazine)], [Vogue (magazine)], Hypebeast magazine, Format magazine, [Essence (magazine)], Paper magazine, Urb magazine, Teen Vogue, and Nylon magazine. The bold statements on its graphic tees such as "Supreme Bitch" or "New York needs Peter Gatien” have become the brand's trademark. Even the tagline “Men are the new women” from a MOB campaign was even used in conjunction with the tv show Big Shots (TV series). Supreme store owner James Jebbia also worked with MOB and carried the brand’s tees in his stores. MOB's hands bikini with graffiti artist Kaws was a stepping-stone for Leah's company. With the suit's handprints boldly placed on every guy’s favorite spots on a girl’s body, this product is one of the more renowned MOB collabs. Various collabs followed in 2007, notably with the German accessory house MCM and a MOB x Kangol cashmere beanie. Leah's love for France got her to meet graffiti artist Fafi, who helped design and model for the 07 Spring/Summer campaign. French avant-garde boutique Colette (boutique) collaborated successfully with MOB on Reebok lip print sneakers that sold out online in 23 minutes. MOB teamed up with Nike in November 08 on a white tweed and black patent dunk. The MOB girls dropped a denim line as well as cut and sew for Winter 08. February 09 brought KRINK inks and MOB together, and they co-branded a Valentine's Day pack. In Spring 09, the first wave of the collection was a collaboration with Chicago rapper, Kid Sister. MOB's second wave of Spring 09 had the brand working with artist Jessy Kennedy, aka The Nite Rider, who added her naughty illustrations to a classically controversial MOB shirt. With the 50th Anniversary of Barbie in March 09, Colette (boutique) continued its relationship with MOB with a commemorative tee. Married to the MOB (clothing) has been seen on many musicians and celebrities alike. The line has been worn by rapper Uffie, multi-talented artist Fergie (singer), singer Lady Gaga, model Doutzen Kroes, musician Kid Sister, and rapper Lady Sovereign. Married to the MOB is more than a clothing line, it is your source for all things MTTM-related. Resident blogger Tabatha will keep you updated on everything you need to know and everything you ever wanted to know with a punchy style all her own. Check out [[1]] for the must-see ramblings of MOB and get your daily dish of the unexpected. ReferencesHypebeast about fall campaign with graffiti artist Fafi Fall '08 Hypequest about Married To The MOB Married To The MOB shop on Karmaloop FreshnessMag about the collaboration with Kangol Miss Behave about Holidays collection Caliroots Married To The MOB shop Format Magazine about the Kaws bikini Nitrolicious blog about MCM bag Complex magazine digital version MOB apparel pictures External Links |
Animal Assisted Education
This is my first article, and I would appreciate your feedback of the short inroduction and then the substantiating evidence as seen in the provided link support. Thank you very much. Itallbegingshere —Preceding unsigned comment added by Itallbeginshere (talk • contribs) 02:56, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
Improve the my article CLACL.
I am the publisher of CLACL (programming language). Since I am not very expert in wikipedia, I would have some advice on how to improve the article. I am not English and then there may be grammatical inaccuracies. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Maurog2009 (talk • contribs) 11:31, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
Help with Married to the MOB clothing article
Please check out my talk page User_talk:Lipprint66, to help with edits/making it neutral. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Lipprint66 (talk • contribs) 14:39, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
- I've helped the user tone down their Leah_McSweeney article, and reposted it to the live article, as I have no WP:COI.
- I've also corrected the above link to the user's talk page. Trafford09 (talk) 10:06, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
Before I actually submit this article, I felt it necessary to request feedback on how to make it more encyclopedic. The article is on the Independent candidate for the Arizona gubernatorial election in 2010, John Paul Mitchell. As of yet, I have no references. The reason this is is because all my information was received through email correspondence with Mitchell. I contacted Mitchell and told him that in order for the article not to be deleted, he'd need to compile the information he gave me in an interview format (or something similar) and publish it on his website. As it stands, the article is on my user page. Any and all help would be greatly appreciated. Right now it's a mess and it pretty much a huge conglomerate of 5 to 6 different emails passed back and forth between myself and Mitchell. Thank you in advance for any help. It's appreciated.
Youth4mitchell (talk) 01:38, 6 June 2009 (UTC)Youth4mitchell
- Hi. Thanks for joining the Wikipedia nation. Your article should actually be in Youth4mitchell/Sandbox, not on your User Page. Also, any info published on Mitchell's website is automatically suspect. You need to have independent sources, like newspapers, magazines, books. See WP:Sources. There is always a problem when a political campaign attempts to use Wikipedia as a promotional outlet. I'm sure other WP people can give you other WP policies for you to read, too. Sincerely, your friend, GeorgeLouis (talk) 01:46, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
Oi! I apologize. I'm new to all this & am still testing the waters. I knew there would be difficulty in creating this article, but considering I am essentially working for the campaign, I felt it worth a try. I still genuinely wish to do what it takes to make this article acceptable, for I think it definitely belongs among the other encyclopedic entries on Wikipedia. There's virtually no information on John Paul Mitchell anywhere other than his website. Would it be within my best interests to contact him & let him know that if he wishes to bring credibility to this article, he needs to sit down with a journalist from a real newspaper and relay to them the information he relayed to me, and that the journalist must then go on to publish this information? Any & all help I can get is appreciated. I don't wish to break any rules or intentionally go against any policies, so any information that can further educate me on the matter is appreciated, as well. Youth4mitchell (talk) 01:56, 6 June 2009 (UTC)Youth4mitchell
- There at least two Internet sources on him. Go to http://www.google.com/search?q=John+Paul+Mitchel&btnGNS=Search+azcentral.com&oi=navquery_searchbox&sa=X&as_sitesearch=azcentral.com&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en-us, or just type his name into any other search engine. Sincerely, GeorgeLouis (talk) 04:45, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
What types of information requires sources? I've seen a lot of Wiki articles that don't cite sources for various pieces of information, so I'm kind of confused as to what exactly mandates a reference. Youth4mitchell (talk) 18:35, 6 June 2009 (UTC)Youth4mitchell
begin creating new page on women surgeons
Please feel free to add material:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Melba1/Sandbox —Preceding unsigned comment added by Melba1 (talk • contribs) 12:36, 6 June 2009 (UTC)
- I don't know much about the subject but am not sure where you want to go with this article. Should it be a list of all women surgeons (unlikely to ever be complete) or a list of famous women surgeons (who is famous?) ? A list would either be incomplete or include a random choice of entries in my opinion. A general article (as opposed to a list) about women surgeons does not seem interesting to me since women surgeons are doing the same job as men surgeons. Please correct me if the subject indeed warrants an article. bamse (talk) 23:58, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
New article. Seeking feedback, constructive criticism, and suggestions for improvement - specifically on ways it could be expanded to meet DYK criteria. Thanks. -- Ϫ 10:54, 7 June 2009 (UTC)
- Looks good. You could add a little bit of history, at least saying since when it has been operating. One thing I wonder is if the ferry is the only way to get to the island. If not, maybe it is a shortcut as compared to other ways which could be mentioned in the article. Other than that I can only think of technical details of the tugboat or a picture to be added to the article. Maybe put the sentences The crossing time is usually five minutes. and It operates on-demand from... closer to each other. bamse (talk) 00:06, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
- Thank you. I'll take that into consideration. :) -- Ϫ 11:28, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
Article about a company that has developed the first 3D dynamic holographic display. I tried to follow the Wikipedia guidelines and tutorials as well as possible, but I definitely need feedback about formatting, as this is the first post I have made. Also because I am a new user, the images are not in place yet. I have to wait a few days for access. I tried to cross-link to relevant Wikipedia pages and give outside references where I could. Because this technology is unique, there are some terms that I think might need to have stubs made? I put in the internal linking braces, so they will stand out as unlinked terms. I am having trouble formatting links to external sites, as in the references section, so please especially give me feedback about them if they are wrong. I left the article in my sandbox because it is still in development. Any comments are welcome. Thanks, Ceweiblen (talk) 05:31, 8 June 2009 (UTC)
UPDATE: I'm going to go ahead and make the article live, and ask for feedback in the talk page. Cheers, Ceweiblen (talk) 05:12, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
Created this article. It's my first attempt at writing an article and I was hoping for feedback -- formatting, content, whatever is applicable. Thanks, Nicopfopolous (talk) 04:16, 8 June 2009 (PST)
- Please add references. bamse (talk) 23:42, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
Added References to Hollwood Kills page. How does it look now? Thoughts/advice appreciated.18:15, 12 June 2009 (UTC) —Preceding unsigned comment added by Nicofopolous (talk • contribs)
Frontenac House Publishing[[2]]
This is my first attempt at Wikipedia. Please review and tell me if I'm on the right track.
Media:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Frontenac_House —Preceding unsigned comment added by Frontenac House (talk • contribs) 00:21, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
Help with page creation: Mydent International
I want to create a website around and explaining a company called Mydent International. They are on the leading edge of industry as a company provide a good lense to view the industry. http://www.defend.com/index.php?mact=News,cntnt01,detail,0&cntnt01articleid=8&cntnt01returnid=54 This is a link to an article by fox news that addresses a problem that Mydent International can fix by there new line of lab coat that repels infection. Additionally, http://www.defend.com/index.php?mact=News,cntnt01,detail,0&cntnt01articleid=6&cntnt01returnid=54 is a link outline another product. http://www.rdhmag.com/display_article/301103/54/none/none/IndNw/Mydent-International-introduces-DEFEND%C2%AE-%22Breathe-E-Z%22-Pleated-Ear-Loop-Mas
I would like to move further on getting a page up. Thank you for your help. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Mydent (talk • contribs) 19:25, 10 June 2009 (UTC)
Frontenac House - Publishers
This is my first attempt at Wikipedia. Please review and tell me if I'm on the right track.
I started a "request for feedback" earlier in the stream, and tried to edit it, but made a mess of it, if anyone can even find it. I think I did a little better with this page on Canadian Publisher - Frontenac House. Thoughts?
Media:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Frontenac_House
--Frontenac House (talk) 04:11, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
- This is the proper link: User:Frontenac House. Sincerely, GeorgeLouis (talk) 04:55, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
This is my first article and I really would love tons of feedback, criticism, hate, etc. so I can get this page up to wikipedia's standards. The article concerns collegiate a cappella, so anyone with knowledge of the subject would be VERY WELCOME to edit this page as well. —Preceding unsigned comment added by Stebo1 (talk • contribs) 14:26, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
I wrote a short article regarding the biography of the innovator Yossi Gross. The entry includes a short overview and reviews the various fields of discovery and contributions to medical technology by Yossi Gross.
I asked for help regarding the cOI. In doing so, other issues arose. I have fixed and deleted the problematic issues, as best as I can tell. I would like to ask for your assistance in reviewing the page in order to see if the comments remain valid for this entry.
The link to the Diff page:
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Yossi_Gross&diff=296400383&oldid=296398017
Thank you very much, Marjieruthhadad (talk) 19:30, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
Also, to avoid embarrassment as we are working through this, is it possible to move the discussion and the notes into the discussion page only? (Now we have two notes of cOI and article issues) Thank you once again, Marjieruthhadad (talk) 19:38, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
Proposed New Entry for Civil-military Relations
I am preparing a new entry for Civil-military Relations and would like some feed-back before posting. It is available at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Inbody/Civil-military_Relations
Please give me your thoughts.