The Chanukah Song
The Chanukah Song is a series of songs written and performed by Adam Sandler. All variations center around the theme of Jewish children feeling isolated during the Christmas season and Sandler's listing of Jewish celebrities, some lesser-known or completley fictional.
Actor Cole Sprouse is co-credited with Sandler on the 1999 Chanukah Song, Part II.
Part I from What The Hell Happened To Me?
People referenced in The Chanukah Song (1994):
- Jon 'Bowzer' Bauman, the The King of Koopas.
- James Caan
- Rod Carew (Sandler cites Carew as a convert to Judaism; Carew married a Jewish woman, but never converted to Judaism)
- Tom Cruise's agent
- Kirk Douglas
- Harrison Ford ("A quarter Jewish, not too shabby") (Sandler makes an error here, as Ford's mother is actually fully Jewish)
- Goldie Hawn (half-Jewish; "Paul Newman's half-Jewish, Goldie Hawn is too. Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew!")
- Ann Landers
- Paul Newman (half-Jewish, see Hawn above)
- Leonard Nimoy ("Mr. Spock")
- David Lee Roth
- Howard Schultz ("the owner of the Seattle SuperSon-icahs")
- Ebenezer Scrooge ("but he's not")
- William Shatner ("Captain Kirk")
- Dinah Shore
- O.J. Simpson ("not a Jew!")
- The Three Stooges (the initial five of six total stooges were Jewish--Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard, Shemp Howard and Joe Besser; Joe DeRita was not Jewish)
- Pauline Phillips ("Dear Abby")
- Henry Winkler ("Arthur Fonzarelli")
Part II from Stan and Judy's Kid
Persons referenced in The Chanukah Song, Part II (1999):
- Jennifer Beals (who is not Jewish)
- The Beastie Boys
- Yasmine Bleeth
- Bob Dylan (the song notes his conversion to Christianity and back to Judaism)
- Happy Gilmore (Sandler's title character in the 1996 film)
- Dustin Hoffman
- Harvey Keitel
- Calvin Klein
- Lenny Kravitz ("half-Jewish", See Courtney Love below)
- Ralph Lauren
- Robert Levine (Mary Tyler Moore's husband)
- Courtney Love ("Lenny Kravitz is half-Jewish. Courtney Love is half too. Put them together, what a funky, bad-ass Jew")
- Don Messick ("the guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo")
- Winona Ryder
- O.J. Simpson ("Still not a Jew")
- Veruca Salt
- Bruce Springsteen ("Isn't Jewish, but my mother thinks he is")
- Tiger Woods ("No, I'm not talking about Tiger Woods")
Part III from Eight Crazy Nights Soundtrack
(Featuring vocals from actor Rob Schneider and the children's choir "The Drei-Dels")
Persons referenced in The Chanukah Song, Part III (2002):
- Paula Abdul
- Tom Arnold ("Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back!" Sandler then implies it was a joke, saying "Just kidding Tommy!")
- Beck
- Osama bin Laden ("Not a big fan of the Jews," says Sandler while the audience boos, "because he lost the figuring skating match to Jewish to gold medalist Sarah Hughes!")
- Jack Black (Actually, Black's father converted to Judaism in order to marry his mother.)
- David Blaine (see Harry Houdini)
- Marlon Brando ("Not a Jew at all, but it looks to me like he ate one!" says Sandler, a in-joke at the late actor's obesity)
- Jennifer Connelly (According to Sandler, she is half Jewish, "and I'd like to put some more in her!")
- Perry Farrell
- Melissa Gilbert ("Never mix meat with dairy," as does Michael Landon)
- Harry Houdini (along with David Blaine, "escaped straightjackets with such precision, but the one thing they could not get out of: their painful circumsision!")
- Sarah Hughes ("Her momma's Jewish!")
- Lisa Kudrow ("Phoebe from Friends")
- David Lander ("Lenny's pal Squiggy")
- Michael Landon (Along with Melissa Gilbert, Landon never mixes meat with dairy. Sandler muses that "maybe they should have called that show Little Kosher House on the Prarie.
- Jerry Lewis
- Debra Messing
- Willie Nelson (While guest appearing, Rob Schneider sings this, although not Nelson himself; "The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica celebrates Hanukkah!" is a reference to Mickey Raphael)
- Gwyneth Paltrow ("Half-Jewish, but a full time Oscar winner.")
- Sean Penn ("half-Jewish, quite the great one.")
- Natalie Portman
- Joey Ramone ("Invented punk rock music but first came Hebrew school!")
- Lou Reed
- Rob Schneider (Sandler calls him "Deuce Bigalow." Schneider himself appears and even sings a part of the song)
- David Schwimmer ("Ross from Friends")
- Ben Stiller
Also, in an unedited version that Sandler sings at some of his comedy shows, he replaces the lyric "As for half-Jewish actors, Sean Penn is quite the great one. Marlon Brando's not a Jew at all, but it looks to me like he ate one" with "Gwyneth Paltrow's half-Jewish, but a full-time Oscar winner. Jennifer Connelly's half-Jewish, too, and I'd like to put some more in her". This edition is not played on radio versions or the soundtrack. However, the music video shows a background screen shows a picture of Sandler licking his lips as the Jennifer Connelly lyric is sung, with shocked laughter coming from the audience.
On an episode of The Office, Michael Scott parodies Sandler by performing "The Diwali Song" during a Hindu Diwali festival.