Talk:Steuart Walton

New draft of article

Hi! I prepared an updated draft of this article for Wikipedia editors to review. This article is a bit outdated, as it does not mention Mr. Walton's RZC Investments, which purchased bikewear company Rapha in 2017. I think Wikipedia editors will see that my draft seeks to build upon the information already contained in the article. I clarified a few points, tightened up some language, added some more detail and context to Career, and expanded on Mr. Walton's work with the Walton Family Foundation and Crystal Bridges.

Zigzig20s: Since you have created this article, I'm curious how you think is the best way for editors to review this. Do you think editors should consider the full draft, or is it best for me to present my proposed changes in smaller pieces?

Similar to my work at Alice Walton, I will not direct edit this page because I have a Wikipedia:Conflict of interest; I work with the Walton family office, as I disclosed on my user page and declared above. Thanks, Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 19:52, 27 March 2018 (UTC)

Hi, Oshwah. I recently prepared an updated draft of this article in hopes of bringing the page up-to-date and adding some missing details. Other than you and Zigzig20s, very few editors have stopped by to make changes to this page since it was created. Might you be interested in reviewing my draft and helping update the article? Or, if not, maybe you have a suggestion for someone who might like to take a look? As I said before, I will not directly edit the page because I have a Wikipedia:Conflict of interest, so any help or guidance you may be able to provide is appreciated. Thanks, Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 13:36, 5 April 2018 (UTC)

Kt2011 - I took a quick look through it, and it seems okay to me. What do you feel is wrong with it? ~Oshwah~^{(talk) (contribs)} 04:37, 6 April 2018 (UTC)

Thank you for the quick response, Oshwah. To clarify, are you referring to the existing article or the draft that I prepared?

With regards to the existing page, it is a bit outdated and lacks some details about Mr. Walton's Career. Specifically, it does not mention Mr. Walton’s RZC Investments, which purchased bikewear company Rapha in 2017, and does not include details about his work with the Walton Family Foundation and Crystal Bridges.

As for the draft that I prepared, while I'm happy with it, I’m looking for an editor to review it, share any feedback they may have and then help take it live since I will not edit directly due to my Wikipedia:Conflict of interest. Might you be interested in helping?

Thanks again, Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 21:38, 9 April 2018 (UTC)

Hello again, Oshwah. I just wanted to see if you had seen my response to your question? I hope I was able to provide the clarification you needed, but, if not, I’d be happy to follow-up with more details.

I appreciate your help and input. Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 20:25, 12 April 2018 (UTC)

Hi Kt2011 - I don't see anything that stands out as concerning as I read through your draft, but I'd like to have another editor look and agree as well (in case I missed something). Is there another editor available and willing to take a look? ~Oshwah~^{(talk) (contribs)} 18:33, 19 April 2018 (UTC)

Thanks, Oshwah. I left notes at WikiProjects Business and Biography. However, no one else has replied. With that in mind, I will ask GRuban, who has experience with biographies and has assisted on other Walton family articles: Are you able to give a second review to my edit request to update this article? Thanks, Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 18:01, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

Not major and mostly OK changes, but I do have a few issues.

1. Is the Crystal Bridges position paid? Your edit moves it from the Philanthropy to the Career section, implying that it is a part of Walton's career, in other words, noticeably paid. Meanwhile, it's still mentioned in Philanthropy. If it isn't paid, or if the salary is more of a formality, I'd imagine it's best completely in Philanthropy. A few words clarifying this isn't strictly necessary, but might be useful. Similarly with the other museum and nonprofit directorships.
2. Is Rapha the only investment of RZC investments? I can see reading the current text as: "they founded an investment company, to make various investments, the first or most important of which was Rapha", or "they bought Rapha, via an investment company which was basically a shell for this specific purpose". Clarifying seems important.
3. I don't like that you moved the 2013 Game Composites sentence after the 2017 RZC/Rapha. In general we want to stay chronological, unless there are important reasons not to, I can't see reasons here.
4. Any chance for combining the Philanthropy and Political Activity sections somehow? I don't like that the second only has one sentence. Maybe "Philanthropy and political activity" or "Civic activity" or ... ? Or you could find a second political thing he was involved in, that would work.
5. Do you know what Walton did from 2010 to 2016 (or 2013)? Was he involved in Walmart in different areas, and only joined the Board in 2016, or was he not involved at all?
6. I notice we don't have a separate article for Walton Family Foundation, that's just a redirect to Walton Family. Making such an article isn't strictly necessary for this change you propose, but seems like it would be a useful thing, if this is, as I imagine, a noticeable and important charity in its own right. Similarly, most of the additions here say "Walton and his brother Tom did this or that", and we don't have a Tom Walton article. Of course you'll have COI issues making these, probably going through Wikipedia:Articles for creation, etc., so I don't expect you to do it immediately, but they do seem obvious gaps.

--GRuban (talk) 18:29, 7 May 2018 (UTC)

Thanks, GRuban. I updated the draft after receiving your feedback. I updated Career to keep everything chronological, and clarified the timeline for Mr. Walton's work at Walmart, based on The Wall Street Journal. I rewrote the portion of the article on RZC Investments. I moved Mr. Walton's involvement with the Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art, Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, and Leadership for Educational Equity to Philanthropy. I did not combine Philanthropy and Political activity as suggested, though. It's my belief that these two things are best left separate. Can you give the updated draft a review? Thanks, Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 20:16, 18 May 2018 (UTC)

Hi, GRuban. I'm checking in to see if you might have time to review my updated draft. Thanks, Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 13:58, 29 May 2018 (UTC)

Yes, much better, but I do have some requests/suggestions, probably within a day, OK? --GRuban (talk) 17:05, 29 May 2018 (UTC)

Sounds good. Thank you! Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 17:15, 29 May 2018 (UTC)

OK, I'm comparing to the current article.

• You modified his UC Boulder graduation with "business administration". Can you also add a date? Not a huge deal, but useful.
• "...Steuart and Tom oversaw a project...": Steuart and Tom Walton. Undue familiarity. :-)
• "Walton spoke at the 2016 Aspen Ideas Festival." - about what? Source seems to indicate "... about the benefits of bike trails" or something.

If you do that, I think I'd be willing to just paste it in, seems like a noticeable improvement, thanks. --GRuban (talk) 22:53, 30 May 2018 (UTC)

Hi, GRuban, I updated my draft to change "Steuart and Tom" to "Steuart and Tom Walton", and included detail that the Aspen Ideas Festival appearance was "about the benefits of bike trails". I have not included the year he graduated from UC Boulder because that detail is not available in sourcing.

I also noted that the Bloomberg executive profile I had prepared as a source is no longer available online. To fix this, I added different references where I proposed use of Bloomberg previously. These include:

• "Walton graduated from the University of Colorado Boulder with a degree in business administration"
  • Source used in current proposed draft to verify his degree was in business administration: Walmart's 2016 Proxy Statement filed with the SEC
• "In 2004, Walton worked for Republican Senator Peter Fitzgerald"
  • Source used in current proposed draft to confirm this work was in 2004 : Walmart's 2016 Proxy Statement filed with the SEC
• "From 2007 to 2010, Walton was a lawyer at Allen & Overy"
  • Source used in current proposed draft to verify this work was from 2007 to 2010: Walmart's 2016 Proxy Statement filed with the SEC
• "Walton joined the board of Walmart on June 3, 2016"
  • Source used in current proposed draft to verify sentence: The Wall Street Journal
• "Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum and Leadership for Educational Equity"
  • Source used in current proposed draft to verify Steuart Walton's posts on the boards of directors for the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum and Leadership for Educational Equity: Arkansas Democrat-Gazette

The updated draft is available on my user page. Thanks very much for your guidance on this one. Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 19:14, 7 June 2018 (UTC)

@Kt2011: Merged the new text in; to be honest, mostly copied - I think there was one sentence and one category in the original not in your draft, which I tried to keep. If I made some mistakes, please ping me. --GRuban (talk) 21:47, 11 June 2018 (UTC)

GRuban - Thanks for working with me to update this article! There are just a few small tweaks that are needed. I noticed there is an extra space between the second and third citation at the end of the following sentence in Career: "From 2007 to 2010, Walton was a lawyer at Allen & Overy."

Upon re-reading, I believe the last sentence of the Career section needs to be clarified. As written, it reads as though RZC owns a majority stake in Allied Cycle Works. This is not true. Can you update it to read:

• The company bought a majority stake of British bikewear business Rapha in August 2017,[10] in addition to investing in road-bike maker Allied Cycle Works.

Lastly, there is an extra space between the end of that sentence and its citation.

Will you be able to fix those? Thanks again for your review and guidance with this update. Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 19:05, 13 June 2018 (UTC)

 Done --GRuban (talk) 19:11, 13 June 2018 (UTC)

GRuban - Thanks for these tweaks! Kt2011 (Talk · COI:Walton family) 14:33, 14 June 2018 (UTC)