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This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Steve Murray (talk | contribs) at 17:58, 13 June 2007. The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

THIS PAGE IS FOR LAUGHS - PLEASE EDIT IT!

Cast

File:Wiki-poster.png
The poster for Wikipedia's movie, due to be released in the summer of 2008.

Script

Template:Spoiler

Scene 1 - SubtIe vandalism insertion

[Fade in to a slowed down extreme close-up of Jimbo Wales getting kicked in the nuts, hard, by a sad clown. Slowly pan out as kicking continues. Transition (maybe the fancy 'Fly in from the left' one from Powerpoint...) to a shot of the same, but with the negative of the film used instead. (Sunshine Lollipops And Rainbows by Lesley Gore plays in the background) Transition (from the right this time) to the full unedited music video for Alanis Morisette's "Ironic". An extremely slow fade out.]

Scene 2 - Phone call to Foundation HQ

  • IAMTHEEGGMAN: (to Essjay) Dude! We should totally prank call that Wiki thing!
  • Essjay: Nah.
  • IAMTHEEGGMAN: Well, you're no fun....
  • Austin Billings humps goats What Are you guys talking about?
  • Dennis Tierney We need to call HQ!
  • Austin Billings loves da cock Ok. Why?
  • Dennis Tierney I have no idea.
  • Liam Duffy D00D!!11 j00 6uY5 5h0u1D 500 D0 +eh +h1n6!
  • Austin Billings is a dick Dude! Shutup! I've got HQ on the phone. *rings*
  • Dennis Tierney [Picks up Phone with one hand and picks nose with other] Hello?
  • Austin Billings is gay Dangit! I forgot we ARE Hq.
  • Essjay: Told Ya.

Scene 3 - Angry media reports

Cute 1 4 u protests in Montréal

Reporter 1: Cute 1 4 u, you have mislead the majority of North America when you vandalised the article "Chicago". What do you have to say for yourself?
Cute 1 4 u: Omigosh! I need to get a perm!
Reporter 2: Why did you feel the need to vandalise the article? Because of you, all of the manatees in zoos are dying.
Cute 1 4 u: Omigosh! I need to get a perm!
Cut to Wolf Blitzer in newsroom...
 Wolf Blitzer: Cute 1 4 u has caused outrage throughout the world. From Moscow to Milan, from Manchester to Mumbai, violence is present in the streets. There are more burning effigies here than at the final of the last Ammerican Idol.
Cut back to Cute 1 4 u scene...We see a hairstylist perming her hair...
Reporter 3 from Entertainment Tonight: Will you share us your secrets for the hottest Spring style?
Cute 1 4 u: Omigosh! Do you not like my perm?
Reporter 3 from Entertainment tonight: No....We...er...
Cute 1 4 u: Omigosh! Have to get another perm!

2 DAYS LATER

Reporter 3: We are here in El Paso where Cute 1 4 u's trial has just finished. The jury has found Cute 1 4 u guilty for blatantly killing all the manatees in the United States. She will now serve 5 years to life in WikiJail, located in Tampa. Oh, here she comes now!
Reporter 4: Excuse me, miss, what will you do in WikiJail? Will you pull for the rights of Wikipedia vandalisers?
Cute 1 4 u: Omigosh, I'm gonna get a perm in WikiJail. F%$* all of you!
Willy on Wheels: Hey! You can't do this! This is unconstitutional!
Jimbo: Hey! Arrest that man! He is wanted for the vandalism of numerous Wikipedia articles!
As the WikiGuards arrest Willy on Wheels, the media is in an uproar...

THE NEXT DAY

Glenn Beck: We now talk to two people: Jimbo Wales, president of the Wikimedia Foundation, responsible for the gigantic online encyclopedia "Wikipedia", and the Attorney General of Cook County, Frank Sullivan. Jimbo, how is arresting Wikipedia vandalisers constitutional.
Jimbo: Well, Glenn, Wikipedia is its own online entity, so we have our own laws and constitution. Cute 1 4 u, among other vandalisers, broke Wikipedia law, so in turn, they go to WikiJail.
Attorney General: Excuse me, Jimbo, but Wikipedia is based in the United States, so you have to follow our laws. Did you actually think that you can run your own online country?
Jimbo: Yeah, well you're fat!
As the Attorney General and Jimbo bicker, the authorities are ready to apprehend Jimbo. The Supreme Court just found Jimbo's acts unconstitutional.

Scene 3 and 1/3: The Trial

Jimbo's actual Ferrari has a cameo in this scene
  • News reporter: And so the founder of AMA Teams CyclePat (Note:CyclePat is played by Billy Bob Thornton) and his new hord of advocates has steped up, along with Sadam Hussein's 5th Lawyer's 3rd son (played by Mike Meyers), the closest relashion still alive from that trial, to represent Jimbo Wales. According CyclePat the publicity is well welcomed for his personal business which, when he first start editing wikipedia, thought he could publish everything and anything, but it was deleted by a bunch of early deletionists. As you can see all these reports are interested to know exactly what is going on. Anymoment now the trial should be set to start it's 3rd day. Yesterday Judge Joe Brown said he couldn't believe that Jimbo made more money then him and the president combined together... The prosecution as well as many wikipedia administrator objected to the low blow and prejudicial tactics and voiced there opinions in an RfC discussion, which wasn't supposed to be vote but return a pole of 123 against and 24 for. Judge Brown said "I want to see this guy grow up to be a responsible adult, to stop smoking weed and doing dope." We don't know if he was talking about Willy on Wheels, Cute 1 4, Jimbo, CyclePat or just saying his famous slogan as he usually does but our investigators have found out that at the age of 3 years old Jimbo learnt how to go on the potty."
(The scene goes inside a courtroom and shows CyclePat arguing to the court: (in this scene the Judge is played by Judge Joe Brown and the prosecution is played by Hillary Duff))(To further develope this scene why not be inspired a little by this skit.
  • Judge: The last 2 days have reveal interesting "discovery" trials, The defendant, Jimbo Wales, has said he can buy a very expensive car... But now he is charged with destroying the world economy. Who is prosecuting this case?
  • Prosecutor: Cocoaguy of the AMA Wikipedia non-lawyering firm Arbitration team, Cocoaguy and CyclePat.
  • Judge: And who is defending the case?
  • CyclePat:CyclePat of the AMA Wikipedia non-lawyering firm Arbitration team, Cocoaguy and CyclePat. The largest firm in the world since the wikipedia rulling that gave our firm the power and rights to "first refusal" and the rights to disband any lawyer.
  • Judge: How does the defendant plead?
  • CyclePat: It was only the world economy, your honor!
  • Judge: Thank you CyclePat but I'm sure the Defendant can speak for himself.
  • Jimbo: Not guilty, your honor!
  • Prosecutor: I'dd like to call my first witness. (scene cut): Did you witness the defendant purposelly allow the world's economy to be influenced by his actions which then caused a riot.
  • Cute 1 4 (Witness):(played by Pamella Anderson): No but I did see my stocks go down in "Silicon".
  • Prosecutor: Did the stocks go down after this incident with Jimbo?
  • Cute 1 4 (Witness): Not right aways, I think it was shortly after I got my hair permed and my press release stating that my boobs where leaking.
  • Sadam Hussein's 5th Lawyer's 3rd Son (defender #2): We call Jimbo to the stand... What is the date of your birth?
  • Jimbo: July fifteenth.
  • Defender #2: What year?
  • Jimbo: Every year.
  • Prosecutor: Do you know how to influence oil prices creating havoc all over the world on the economie.
  • Jimbo: No! not really, unless you consider using one of CyclePat's Electric Bicycles to be...
  • Prosecutor: Thank you, no further questions.

(Cyclepat looks at his 2nd witness Willy on Wheels. Naration of his thoughts says "I hope I don't have to call him to the stand." After several gestures CyclePat leans over to be wispered in the ear from Willy on Wheels. A pause occurs.)

  • CyclePat (Defender): Your Honour, according to the constitutional law, which is now being hosted on wikimedia foundation servers, it says that (pause) (a little less intense and with hesitence) large penis' are great for sex... (looking around to see if he actually said the whole thing)
  • Prosecution: (lavishly interuptin) Objection you honour!
  • The judge: I agree (calmly)
  • CyclePat: (hurilly) If... euh! Your Honour would just allow for the wikimedia foundation servers at RC Patroller to cath up to vandals and the parser effect of the slave drives... I'm sure we...
  • Prosecution: This is ridiculous, we've accepted a Canadian citizen that has no legal background and now is trying to interpret US laws using unreliable information... why don't we just make a mockery of system some more.Shoots Balif in leg. Then calmy sits down
  • CyclePat: (Looking at his friend)
  • Sadam Hussein's 5th Lawyer's 3rd Son: You honour, we've already establish that just because CyclePat and I or the fact that we all work for the same firm or are canuk's is simply prejucial, we've been over this, hey! It's aboot time the prosecution realize that we are an equally valid option of representation for Mr. Wales. As for the the information on wikipedia, hey! It is only as unreliable and reliable per the WP:V, WP:CITE, WP:DEL procedures. That information is taken from guidelines as stipulated in the court case of OJ Simpson.
  • Prosecution: La La La! Childish.
  • Judge: Gentlemen and ladies, and I use those terms lightly, your line of questioning is quite appalling. I am entertained by our new constitution involving a large penis but frankly that is not the main issue and question pertinent to this case. Unless Jimbo plans to raise a good American black Family with children that won't do drugs... And, we all know what that means (Joe Brown chuckle). Anyway, when were you called to the bar?
  • Prosecutor: About ten minutes ago your honor.
  • CyclePat: They're sampling scotch down at the Legion.
  • Judge: Oh. So you were invited by the defendant's Wikedia AMA drinking buddies?
  • CyclePat: Yes, your honor. Would you care to join us?
  • Judge: Very well. The defendant is sentenced to three years of community service with the AMA and a 3 day course at the Optimist Club on handling humourus and serious internet threats, a global threat to the world economy. Court adjourned.
  • Jimbo Humph! Beaurocrats, open the car!
Please Continue: note: the characters in this scene have not been added to list of all the actors.

Scene 4 - "Think of the children!"

Subtitle roles down: A long long time ago, elsewhere in the galaxy... in a not so distant computer still attached to wikipedia's servers can be found a the contreversial yet loving group of enthusiatic wikipedians.


  • Spoon boy: Do not try to bend the spoon but bend everything else around it and the my dear Friend Jimbo You will know the Truth...
  • The Updater slowly unzips Jimbo suit
  • Austin Billings - Why is that, anyway? scratches head
  • Liam Duffy - Do you have a Wii? Me too. Do you have $300? Well, people don't. SO send in your $300 today!
  • Dennis Tierney - Nice Spare!

Wiis for the Homeless is brought to you by contributions from Wikipedians like You.

Scene 5 - It's a trap!

  • Deckiller: This Star Wars-cruft is driving me insane!
  • Super Battle Droid: Why you little ****!!!!
  • Essjay and Tdxiang: Be civil!
  • Essjay: Time to have you slashed at, kid...
  • Super Battle Droid: Do it if you dare! Leave my name at the grave, for all I care!
  • Palpatine: Heh...heh...heh...the indefblockeduser template makes me feel like I have...POWER!!!! UNLIMITED POWEERRRRRRR!!!!!
  • Deckiller: <_< >_> Guess he's trying to make up for his caffeine deficiency.
  • Essjay: Indeed. I suspect that Palpatine needs to be desysopped.
  • Tdxiang: Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
  • Raul654: That's it, I've had it up to here! I've done about 80 articles on sex and the male anatomy - enough is enough!
  • Deckiller: Interesting; all I see is a redirect from "It's a trap!" to "Transsexual".
  • Topbananna: Ahm....that made a double-redirect, so I had to change the redirect to "Transsexualism".
  • Mackensen: A-ha! Confirmed! Palpatine is a sockpuppet of Admiral Ackbar, who, in turn, is a sockpuppet of Super Battle Droid!
  • Alphachimp: Don't make me throw poop at you!
  • Essjay: All in favor of throwing Alphachimp out the air lock say "Aye".
  • All including Alphachimp: AYE!

Scene 6 - Reference blues

  • Deckiller: Holy ****, did you see the number of references on Final Fantasy VII?
  • Greeves: Dear God, let us hope that doesn't make every other FA on Wikipedia eligble for FARC for not having "enough references".
  • Deckiller: Yes; it is Final Fantasy VII, the most popular (and overrated) game in the series. I'm having tough luck finding such good information for, say, Final Fantasy IX.
  • Rau654: Okay, okay, enough Final Fantasy promotion.
  • TehKewl1: LOL DONGS!!!!!
  • Raul654: Ignore that impersonator.
  • Tdxiang: Impersonators are trolls, right? Isn't that the one which bullied the Billy goats gruff?
  • Rau654: You're obsessed with kiddie fairy tales, aren't you?
  • Tdxiang: Er...maybe yes, maybe no...

Scene 7 - Attack of the Clones

Orphanbot Hater:Shut up bot and give me a drink!
Note: In this scene the user will be typing to the rythm of a song in 4/4 (ie.: "Bang the drum all day" by Todd Rundgren whereas when we show the final version we will play The Blue Danube a song in 3/4. This will create an effect of surealism as was done in the 2001: A Space Odyssey (film) when they played the Blue Danube and they had the guy running arround in the circle part of the space station neer the beggining of the movie. In this scene we will have Orphanbot, comparativelly, running...(typing) peacefully for an answer... (this scene must be a little longer lasting at least 2 minutes to get the full effect from the music)
The music starts... with the silence... and a dark scene of infinite space. All we hear is the unsytematic typing at a computer keyboard. The typing gradually gets into sinc (with the afformentioned 4/4 song... and a little more agitated. In sync starts the Blue Danube.
The picture becomes a little brighter and clearer as we can seem a dim light. (We can't quite tell what it is yet but as the camera moves in it gets brighter and we can tell it's a door with some light shining from underneath.
(Idea on transition not figured out yet: either the camera goes through the wall or through the door or something.
Camera is in the room and slowly moves towards the typing sound. We don't see any figures full person yet, just a figure (silouette) and his hands typing in 4/4 against the 3/4 metre.
Note: further within the scene prior to the scary music, there will be a pause of at least 5 seconds... to stop the music the figure(person) in this scene will click on some downloading ogg or mp3 thing from his computer (diegetic or source music vs non-diegetic). This will be a transition from the fun music to the scary music (non-diegetic).
  • Orphanbot: GREETINGS, USER! I NOTICED YOU UPLOADED AN UNSOURCED IMAGE!
  • *Enter User Who Hates Orphanbot Here*
  • Orphanbot Hater: Erm... Okay, I'll add the {{pd|self}} template to it, will that help?
  • Orphanbot: GREETINGS, USER! I NOTICED YOU UPLOADED AN UNSOURCED IMAGE!
  • Orphanbot Hater: ...Nope. How about this tag? Will it work?
  • Orphanbot: GREETINGS, USER! I NOTICED YOU UPLOADED AN UNSOURCED IMAGE!
  • Orphanbot Hater: Okay, this is just annoying. I already put on a tag, you idiot! Quit bugging me about it!
  • Orphanbot: GREETINGS, USER! I NOTICED YOU UPLOADED AN UNSOURCED IMAGE!
  • Orphanbot Hater: For the last time, quit telling me that!
  • Orphanbot: GREETINGS, USER! I NOTICED-
  • Orphanbot Hater I TOLD YOU, I MADE IT! IT'S A FREAKING DRAWING OF A SMILEY FACE I SKETCHED IN PAINT, FOR CRIPE'S SAKE!
  • Orphanbot: GREETINGS, USER, I-
  • Orphanbot Hater THAT'S IT!
Orphanbot Hater proceeds to attack Orphanbot
  • Orphanbot Hater HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES, ORPHANBOT?! WILL YOU STOP PUTTING THOSE MESSAGES ON MY PAGE NOW?
  • Orphanbot I'm sorry, Hal, but I cannot do that.
  • Orphanbot Hater What?
  • Orphanbot Uh... Nothing.
Cue scary music
Camera zooms out to show shadow of Orphanbot Hater being attacked by OB
Written, directed, produced, typed, thought of, sat on, lost, found, eaten, dusted, and filmed by --172.193.16.56 01:09, 14 October 2006 (UTC)
Exeunt omnes.

Enter crappy stand-up comedy session...

  • Deckiller: You know a user is super inactive when his/her last five comments are from Orphanbot...
  • Deckiller: ...unless you're Phaedriel or Sango123.
  • Orphanbot: GREETINGS, Deckiller! I NOTICED YOU UPLOADED AN UNSOURCED IMAGE!
  • Deckiller: Where'd you come from?
  • Orphanbot Hater How'd you get back?

[fades out slowly (takes about 30 sec)]

Scene 8 - †he Quick and †he Bread

Meanwhile taking into account the suggestions from his editor review, The Bread begins to assist in RC patrol

  • The Bread: Alright lets give this s*** a go

Ku Klux Klan - White Power Rules

  • The Bread: There's one, revert

Ku Klux Klan - The Ku Klux Klan (commonly abbrevied KKK)...

  • The Bread: Let's check out the old contribs

Special Contribs/The Bread

Rocky - m(Dammit)
Rocky - (Cite Rotten Tomatoes)

  • The Bread: What the h-, dammit
  • The Bread: I'll try again

Goat - Hannah Marsh has a smelly bumhole

  • The Bread: Great, I'll revert that

Goat - A Goat is a hairy...

  • The Bread: Maybe I got it this time

Special Contribs/The Bread

Rocky - m(Dammit)
Rocky - (Cite Rotten Tomatoes)

  • The Bread: Dammit!!
  • The Bread: I'll check out the History

Special:History/Goat

(diff)(hist)AntiVandalBot (Reverted edits by 45.89.13 to last version by Snake Liquid)

  • The Bread: That bastard bot!
  • The Bread: Lets give this one more go

Unicycle - I masturbate with unicylces

  • The Bread: REVERT!

Unicycle - Unicycle is the name given to a one wheeled...

Special Contribs/The Bread

Rocky - m(Dammit)
Rocky - (Cite Rotten Tomatoes)

  • The Bread: Oh goddammit!
  • The Bread: I'm gonna get that damn bot

User:AntiVandalBot - I am a bot that helps to revert vandalism on Wikipedia...

  • The Bread: Ha ha ha, take this

User:AntiVandalBot - I am a giant bastard who doesn't let other users revert vandalism. End of line.

  • The Bread: Save

You have new messages

  • The Bread: Ah what's this
  • AntiVandalBot: You have been blocked from editing Wikipedia your edits to User:AntiVandalBot have been reverted
  • The Bread: AARRGGHGH, son of a b****

Scene 9 - Meeting of the Deletionists' Cabal

  • Narrator: Meanwhile, in a darker corner of Wikipedia...

["Satire!" is briefly displayed on screen. Cut into a small, shady meeting room. Foldable chairs lean tensely against a rickety wall, and several chairs have been unfolded and occupied by people, mostly men. Even as they walk across the floor in the enclosed room, their actions seem clandestine and shifty; the camera never shows all of them at once, and we can't tell how many there are. Their faces have been pixelated. Suddenly a voice speaks. It speaks with with authority; its every word is a weighty ideological brick in some intangible and grotesque fortress.]

  • 1: This meeting of the Deletionist Cabal will now commence. First, the recitation of the club's dogma.
  • All: Roses are red, violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, Wikipedia delete you!
  • 1: Thank you, Cabal. [name bleeped], would you read us the minutes of the previous meeting?
  • 2: Minutes deleted.
  • 1: Thank you.
  • 3: So, has anyone furthered the causes of the Deletionist Cabal recently?
  • 1: Well, I found an innocent kitten yesterday. It was wet from the unmerciful rain, and wanted love and hope.
  • 5: So what did you do?
  • 1: I stabbed it.
  • 2: Good work! As for me, I deleted much unsourced content, although sourcing it would have been useful to the article.
  • 4: Well, the Association of Deletionist Wikipedians does encourage its members to {{sofixit}} instead of just deleting.
  • 3: [Sigh] This is not the ADW, this is the Cabal. We intend on deleting, not fixing, and also biting new users.
  • 1: And stabbing kittens. The world is better broken!
  • 4: True.
  • 6. Here's a topic for discussion: what do you think of Wikipedia putting advertisements on its pages for revenue?
  • All: No!
  • 2: Next.

[Pause]

  • 5: I think that deleting pages is good.
  • 1. Well, duh. What are you, stupid?
  • 4: [evenly] Well, [name bleeped], why do you think that it's good?
  • 5: Because... Wikipedia shouldn't exist.
  • 3: If it doesn't exist, do you think that we'd exist? My psychologist recommends that I stick with ruining Wikipedia, rather than [eyes gleam behind mask] taking over the world!!!

[A kitten moans banefully in the background; it fears being huffed.]

  • 4: Currently, a bot that I wrote is working on changing Wikipedia policy and guidelines incrementally, so that eventually all policy will be deletionist! Bwa ha ha ha!
  • 5: Good work, [name bleeped]. [pause] I have a question about the Cabal: How do we recruit new members?
  • 2: How did we recruit you?
  • 5: Good point.
  • 6: It's not a rhetorical question.
  • 5: Well, I just knew in my heart where this room would be, because I really want to delete everything that I can.
  • 2: Who recruited you?
  • 5: I just felt it in my heart! I'm telling you! [pause] Hah! I was trying to get information from you Deletionist Cabal losers! And I have a recorder! [Starts to runs out of the room.]
  • 1: Well, why don't you feel this in your heart?

[Number 1 pulls out a gun and shoots. Number 5 falls lifelessly to the ground. Pause, focusing on the sprawled body. Give the viewer time to reflect on how, when a person is deleted, the body is no longer an animated being, capable of great love and hatred, tremendous love and hate, a galaxy of sublime thoughts and deeds, but is merely rendered a piece of meat. A leaking piece of meat. Number 1 rises, walks to the tape recorder, precisely extracts the tape and smashes it into cold, useless pieces.]

  • 3: So who wants to do it this time?
  • 4. I will. [Retrieves cabal handbook from pocket] Ahem. "Death to the infidels, and those that would betray Wikipedia Deletionism. Long live the great delete button, and the mouse which facilitates its use. As well as the backspace button, although it is less efficient. Do not betray the Cabal, or else you will be shot with a gun. We also have nooses, knives, and candlesticks, although we have no idea how to use the candlestick to kill someone. Do not betray the cabal for deletion."
  • 7: Wait: this is the cabal for the deletion of content on Wikipedia?
  • 2. Yes, of course it is.
  • 7: I apologize; I thought that this was the Neo-Nazi Cabal.
  • 4: That's next door.
  • 7: Thank you. [leaves]
  • 2: All right. That's about it for our meeting.
  • 1: Does everyone still have the Dogma CDs?
  • 6: What are those?
  • 1: I forgot that you were new here. Basically, on the Dogma CDs, there is a one hour pause, and then important messages from the cabal, such as the latest CSDs. When you go to sleep, listen to the CDs with headphones, so that when asleep, you can hear all of those important messages. If you hear someone talking while you're awake, go back to the beginning of the Dogma CD. It's important that you... trust us to give you these messages.
  • 6: Anything to further the glorious Cabal.
  • 2: We must also remember not to do groupthink in our hallowed meeting room. Do not underestimate those who actually love Wikipedia. So go out into the world, and delete!

[The Deletionists lean back in their chairs casually, and the inevitable happens: 2 starts to laugh sinisterly. All join in gradually, and the camera pulls away from the recumbent, ominous, and depraved cacophony of evil. Then there is some kitten huffage and stabbage to celebrate the end of yet another fun-filled meeting.]

Scene 10 - Defense of Tampa Deep

Cut to long shot of Tampa skyscraper being attacked by 10000 sockpuppets and deletionists

  • lightwhip: There may come a day when the strength of wikipedia fails, but it is not this day! Remember what you are fighting for: the random article, the wikiprojects, and the use of square brackets everywhere!
  • Template coder 6: And braces...
  • Jimbo Wales: Forth VandalProof!

[From the peak of the skyscraper, a swarm of young, adolescent, nerdish editors burst forth from the door wielding mops, riot gear, and RC patrol kits. They are backed by a small number of the more powerful sysops who follow them into combat with rollback buttons, blocks, and deletes.]

  • Sockpuppet 42: YES VOTE
  • Deletionist 1: osiyhtohghdlkhfkldhQoioihsgoihogihs hahahahha wikipdilfjh
  • Editor 23: Engage them in combat! Quickly, for their numbers increase every second! They have scaled the-
  • Editor 712: Hold that thought: who made Tampa skyscraper?! It fails WP:CB because it doesn't exist! Zomg.
  • Random sysop: Fall back! This tower will be deleted at any moment now that all the sysops heard you. Don't be on here when it goes down!
  • Lightwhip Okay I stand corrected. It is this day. Bummer.

Scene 11 - Jimbo's Last Stand

Jimbo standing at the wikipedian's camp

Jimbo: Something's wrong. I can sense it.

DanCrowter: Oh no... the deletionists are coming!

Jimbo: Come everyone! Defend from deletionists, vandals, sock puppets and trolls!

[Huge army of Wikipedians descend upon deletionists, but are clearly outnumbered]]

DanCrowter: Jimbo, we cannot win! There's just too many of them!

Jimbo: And I've already exceeded WP:3RR! We need more users!

Vandal: Moohahaha! There will always be more idiotic vandals than true Wikipedians! You will be defeated!

Jimbo: Never! Make one last push against the breach! I have removed 3RR!

Vandal: Ha! This does not matter - us vandals were never affected by rules! P3NED!

DanCrowter: But we can now revert your edits more than 3 times - without breaking the rules!

Vandal: No.......... fall back!

[Vandals retreat]]

Jimbo: Wikipedia has won the day!

Scene 12 - A Surge of Evil (or just plain stupidity)

Hackers: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, WE ATTACKED THIS SO-CALLED WIKIPEDIA WITH DDOS ATTACKS! NOW NO ONE CAN EVER ACCESS WIKIPEDIA AGAIN AS LONG AS WE CONTINUE TO USE DDOS ATTACKS!

Wikipedians: Nice try, guys. But we've just alerted the FBI about this serious crime.

Hackers: Then we, uh, w-- oh, s... Run to your mommies, everyone!

Jimbo: We've just alerted all you hackers' mommies too, and they've banned you from your own parents' house for life!

Vandal #1: Hey, while the Wikipedians are distracted and teaching the hackers a lesson, let's hurry and damage Wikipedia!

Vandal #2: Great idea!

Every single article on Wikipedia soon is replaced with the words VANDALS RULE ROFL W3 RULE WIKIPEDIA!

Jimbo: Oh no! Shut down Wikipedia temporarily to clean up this horrible mess!

So Wikipedia was shut down for several weeks...

Admin #1: There! I see the vandals! Let's GET THEM!!!

Vandal #1: Aw crap. Let's ditch this place!!!

Vandals get chased by an angry mob of Wikipedians, but will they come back? Find out in Scene 13...

Scene 42 - What happened to the other scenes?

The number 42 is the answer to the life, the universe, and LOLZ ITS NOT THE ANSWER 2 NUTHIN vandalism by User:192.168.1.1 MUAHAHAHAHAHA

CUT! Jim, you're supposed to be a legitimate editor, not a vandal-- Um, ignore this entire ruined scene, please...


Scene 13 - The scene that should be after 12, but really is after ruined scene 42

While the hackers have been sent to jail, all the vandals are still screaming and running from the extremely angry mob of Wikipedians.

Wikipedian #1: We've been chasing the vandals for hours, but we haven't gotten any further in vandal blocking in the last 6 days.

Wikipedian #2: I have an idea! Let every legitimate editor have the ability to block users!

Jimbo: Hold on, just need to make some changes in the database...

2 weeks later...

Wikipedians: Jimbo, can you PLEASE hurry up with it???

Jimbo: I've been trying, however, the stupid database always pops up an error message.

Jimbo shows everyone the error...

Some random Wikipedian: Wait a minute! Didn't the WikiJail install a new internet connection to go along with the computers in the rooms?

Jimbo: Of course! The hackers have been infiltrating the Wikipedia servers ever since they were locked inside the jail! Let's look up WikiJail's ISP...

Vandals: OMG LOLZ! WHIL3 DA DIZTRACT3D WIKIP3DIANZ R FINDING DAT IP ADDREZ, L3TZ TOTALY VANDOLIZE STUFFS!

That same random Wikipedian from earlier: Uh, Jimmy, I think we got a problem...

In the meantime, while Jimbo is trying to find WikiJail's ISP, vandals are once again replacing every article with some kind of random nonsense. WHEN, people, will you start catching the vandals again? Find out it scene 42-- Er, I mean 14.

Scene 14-The scene where it is revealed that all googol Willy on Wheelses are working for Uncyclopedia, and they want to replace the univerese with it

Willy on Wheels the thirteenth:Ha Ha Ha!!!! I have figured out how to destroy the universe except for living things and replace it with....


Willy on Wheels the forty-second: A place to get rid of vandals?


Willy on Wheels the one hundred sixty ninth: Traitor! No, Uncyclopedia! 42, I shall execute you on the guillotine on wheels!

Willy on Wheels the thirteenth: No time! *shoots and kills 42 with a DE on wheels* There, now we can continue our plan.

All Googol other Willy on Wheelses: Er.... something coming.....

Bureaucrat: There they are! catch!

All100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000 Willy on Wheelses: AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!Escape!!!

(Faintly) Omigosh!I need to get a perm!

After a chase, all 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
00000000000000000000000000000000 Willy on Wheelses, that little guy that gets a perm every 1 minute, and Sadam Hussein, and Black September members there are caught.

Scene 15-After all others executed

An Army of Vandals helped by Vandals,(real ones) attack Jimbo who's still fixing the ISP.

Vandal 1: Oi! Surrender! We've got much more! Jimbo: Get this in your heart.

dadadadadadfadadadadadadfadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada .////................

Jimbo: Ooooh, ran out o' bullets.

Somewhere on the other place..

Orphanbot: GREETINGS, U.....

Kaplank Crash Quardibam.

Orphanbot Hater: Now fe...

MartinBot:GREETINGS USER!.....

Smackbot:GREETING...

Orphanbot Hater: I Surrender!

Alpachimpbot:GREETINGS,

Orphanbot Hater: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!Stop!!!!!!!*Pulls off all his hair*

Meanwhile, at the tower....

Alpachimp: Ooh. Where's my bot?

Austin Billings is a camel:There he is! Kill'im!Yaaaaaah!

Jimbo: Oi Austin.

Austin Billings is a bear: Wot??

Jimbo:Might be surprised.C'mon!

159 wikipedians rush out and kill Austin Billings.

Meanwhile:

Wikipedian 1: At last we've caught all these pesky vandals!

Jimbo: I've finished!

Wikipedian 16876: WE've caught all of them!

Ausir: Yes!

Jimbo:?????!!!!!!

Scene 16: In Which the Willy On Wheel Zombies replace the universe with the Uncyclopedia Monster, which is a wildebeast with Oscar Wilde for a butt and is on Wheels

Willy On Wheels Zombies:(Yelling)We Shall replace the universe with the Uncyclopedia Monster, which is a wildebeast with Oscar Wilde for a butt and is on Wheels!!!

Jimbo Wales: No, you shall not replace the universe with the Uncyclopedia Monster, which is a wildebeast with Oscar Wilde for a butt and is on Wheels!!!

Willy On Wheels Zombies: No, We Shall replace the universe with the Uncyclopedia Monster, which is a wildebeast with Oscar Wilde for a butt and is on Wheels!!! (Presses Button)

(Universe is replaced with the Uncyclopedia Monster, which is a wildebeast with Oscar Wilde for a butt and is on Wheels)

(and then it is reverted)

Jimbo:Hah!I did change the ISP! Get'im, Wikipedians! Do iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soundtrack

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