Customs and etiquette in Indian dining

As in many cultures, proper habits of eating and drinking are very important and widely respected parts of Indian culture, local customs, traditions, and religions. Proper table manners vary from culture to culture, although there are always a few basic rules that are important to follow. Etiquette should be observed when dining in any Indian household or restaurant, though the acceptable standards depend upon the situation.

Cutlery

Though Indian cooking uses an extensive array of specialized utensils for various purposes, Indians traditionally do not use cutlery for eating, as many foods - such as Indian breads and curry - are best enjoyed when eating with the hand.

Eating with one's hands is a technique that can be quite clean when done correctly, but may require a degree of practice. First, the hands must be thoroughly washed, with particular attention paid to the fingernails. Having long fingernails in India is considered unhygienic.

Using the fingers, the food should be scooped onto the flatbread (naan, roti, etc.) and quickly brought to the mouth. In North India, when eating curry, the gravy must not be allowed to stain your fingers—only the fingertips are used. The usage of spoons and forks is prevalent in the urban areas of North India and food like curry or vegetables is generally not touched with hands. When flatbreads such as chapati, roti, or naan are served with the meal, it is acceptable to use pieces of them to gather food and sop up gravies and curries. In South India, where people still eat using their hands and not using spoons and forks, it is considered ill mannered to let your food stain the out side of your fingers or palm while eating and food is to be eaten only with the tip of the fingers.

Not all Indian foods should be eaten with the hands, however. If the food is soupy, such as many daals, spoons can be used. Additionally, foods such as rice may be eaten with spoons in both North and South India, more so in case of formal occasions as in a restaurant or a buffet. In South India, where the practice of eating where food from a banana leaf is still observed, even though only on rare occasions, it is acceptable to eat using spoons sometimes.

Traditional Indian cutlery does not recognize the use of forks and knives while eating, limiting their use to the kitchen only. Spoons were made of wood in ancient times, evolving into metallic spoons during the advent of the use of the thali, the traditional dish on which Indian food is served. Additionally, spoons (usually two used in a clasping motion) and forks are commonly used to distribute foods from a communal dish, as it is considered rude to touch the foods of others.

Contamination with saliva

The concept of 'uchchishtam' (in Sanskrit) 'entho' (in Bengal), 'aitha' (in Orissa), 'jutha' (in North India), 'ushta' (in Western India), 'echal' (in Tamil Nadu), 'echil' (in Kerala), 'enjalu' (in Karnataka), or 'engili' (in Andhra Pradesh) is a common belief in India. This concept was derived as a result of the Caste system and untouchables concepts that were prevalent in the Hindu society. It can refer to the food item or the utensils or serving dishes, that has come in contact with someone's mouth, or saliva or the plate while eating - something that directly or indirectly came in contact with your saliva. It can also refer to leftover food. It is considered rude and unhygienic to offer someone food contaminated with saliva. It is, however, not uncommon for spouses, or extremely close friends or family, to offer each other such contaminated food and is not considered disrespectful under such circumstances. In certain cases, as in the first lunch by the newly-weds, sharing food from each other's leaves may be thought of as an indication of intimacy.

Beef

The cow is considered a sacred animal by some Hindus and hence beef is not readily available in most restaurants India. However Beef is eaten by most Muslims in India and many people in Kerala, the Northeast, West Bengal and Kashmir. Beef is easily available in most restaurants of Kerala and some high end restaurants in major cities. It is also available in North Eastern states where the culture and weather patterns are very different from the rest of India.

Other rules

• Irrespective of whether one takes food with cutlery or with hand (typically right hand), one is expected to wash hands before and after partaking food. During the course of the meal, cleaning your eating hand with cloth or paper tissue is considered unhygienic though with the advent of restaurant dining it is becoming more acceptable.You may be asked to wash your hands before and after sitting down to a meal.
• It is customary to share food with anyone who wants it.
• It is rude for your host to not offer you food multiple times.
• Similarly, it is expected that one should not leave the table before the host or the eldest person have finished their food.
• It is not Indian tradition to use dining napkins or paper tissues while eating. However leaving an unfolded long towel on right shoulder is a tradition (especially in South India), which can be used to wipe your hands after washing.
• If you are using dining furniture, your elbows should not lean on the table.
• It is a Hindu custom to leave food out for crows and cows before a meal: crows are believed to be deceased ancestors; while cows are considered sacred. Some Hindus also leave a small amount of rice (perhaps four grains) uneaten, and pray, "annadaata sukhibhava," which roughly translates to, "let the provider of this food be happy."
• It is not necessary to taste each and every dish prepared, but you must finish everything on the plate as it is considered a respect for served food, and food is sacred. For this reason, take only as much food on the plate as you can finish.
• Playing with food or in any way distorting the food is unacceptable. Eating at a medium pace is important as eating too slowly may imply that you dislike the food, whereas eating too quickly is rude.
• In some parts of India, if a diner finishes earlier than the rest, they may need to wait until everyone has finished to wash their hands. It may be considered rude to leave the table. Sometimes, it may be acceptable for the diner who has finished to wash their hands, however, they are expected to return to the dining area immediately after. In most parts it is acceptable to leave after the elders have finished. This practice, like most others, is also going out of fashion.
• If a meal is served over plantain leaves (in South India) then its customary to fold the leaves over at the end of the meal.
• This is more of a practice than a rule. In some parts of India people prefer not to drink water with their food, and drink it after the meal is finished. In most other parts, people do not really have a practice one way or the other.