Things That Go Bump in the Night (Dad's Army)

This article is about a television episode. For the monsters said to inhabit a house during the night, see Bogeyman.

"Things That Go Bump in the Night"
Dad's Army episode
Episode no.	Series 6 Episode 6
Directed by	David Croft
Story by	Jimmy Perry and David Croft
Original air dates	5 December 1973 (recorded 22 July 1973)
Running time	30 minutes

"Things That Go Bump in the Night" is the sixth episode of the sixth series of the British television sitcom Dad's Army that was originally transmitted on 5 December 1973.

Synopsis

During a stormy night, the platoon manages to be lost. Jones' van has only half a gallon of petrol remaining in its tank. Tired, cold and miserable, the men decide to spend to the night in a nearby house. It appears to be deserted, but is it?

Plot

Due to a miscalculation by Sergeant Wilson, the platoon are lost in a thunderstorm miles from anywhere. Jones informs Captain Mainwaring that his van only has half a gallon of petrol left (Walker been unable to get the ink dry on the petrol coupons in time), so Mainwaring decides to shelter in a house nearby. Mainwaring has a slight head cold, so Jones restrains him from going out in the rain fearing he might catch pneumonia. The platoon march to the door holding a tarpaulin sheet above their heads. However, when Pike rings the doorbell, he lets go of his corner and ends up soaked.

Once at the house, they find that the front door is open, the electricity is off and the fire is still burning. However, the house appears to be completely deserted. Frazer suggests it is like the Mary Celeste. Pike has to change out of his wet clothes, so ends up wearing the vest of a flag-bearer's uniform and a bear-skin rug (which has a bear's head on it). Suddenly, they hear the sound of hounds howling. Mainwaring tells them not to be worried, and they go upstairs to find somewhere to sleep.

Once in a bedroom, Mainwaring claims a single bed for himself, informing the others to sleep in the main double bed, on the couch and in a chair by the fireplace. However, Jones feels Mainwaring's bed, claims it is damp and refuses to let him sleep there until he has warmed it up. Jones puts a bed warmer in the sheets, but unfortunately sets it on fire. The platoon try to blow it out with pillows, but just end up with feathers everywhere. Mainwaring tips a basin of water over the bed and Sponge tells Pike to get some more. Mainwaring is annoyed at Jones for ruining his bed, and tells Frazer to shut the door. Frazer does so just as Pike is coming through with more water, and he ends up soaked again.

Later, as everybody is asleep, Pike wakes up Wilson (who gets a fright at the sight of the bearskin), and asks him if he can come into bed with him. Wilson says to ask Mainwaring, so Pike wakes up Jones and gets him to ask Mainwaring if he can come into bed; however, Mainwaring refuses because there is no room. Pike then asks Wilson whether he can accompany him to wash his hands and clean his teeth. Wilson reluctantly agrees, but only after Pike threatens to tell his mother if he doesn't come. Meanwhile, Godfrey wakes up Frazer because he needs to visit the bathroom. Frazer refuses to accompany him due to there being too many unnatural causes, so Godfrey wakes up Mainwaring, who also refuses, so he wakes up Jones, who agrees, and they set off and meet Pike and Wilson coming back around a corner, frightening both parties.

Later, Pike, still unable to sleep, is woken up by the sound of heavy boots coming up the stairs. He warns the others, and they turn out the candles. The boots come towards the bedroom. The door opens slowly to reveal Captain Cadbury, who is surprised to find them in his bedroom.

In the morning, the platoon are having breakfast. It turns out that the house is a dog training school, and that Cadbury, the school's administrator, had left to fix the generator. Pike ends up wearing a German uniform that they use for training purposes. Outside, Cadbury shows them the dogs, pointing out one, Prince 439, who is a troublemaker. The platoon set off to get some petrol, each carrying an empty gin bottle.

While out in the countryside, Cadbury informs them that the dogs are only half-trained and that they have not been taught how not to tear their victim to pieces. Walker then notices that the noise of the hounds is getting louder, and they realise the dogs must have got out. Cadbury then realises that they must be tracking them, because Pike's uniform is covered in aniseed. Thus, after Pike nearly rubs the aniseed on Mainwaring, the platoon make a run for it, carrying Godfrey aboard a sheep hurdle. Once they reach a stream, Mainwaring tells the platoon that dogs cannot follow a scent across water, so Pike is made to cross downstream. Mainwaring refuses to get his feet wet, and is carried across on the hurdle. Meanwhile, Pike falls in the river, once again getting soaked.

Once across, the platoon relax. However, Mainwaring's plan has failed as the hounds have followed them and they continue running. In the end, Mainwaring, Wilson, Frazer and Godfrey hide in a tool shed while the others climb trees. Cadbury suggests that Pike should throw his clothes down to the dogs, meaning that Pike is forced by Mainwaring to strip naked or else he will put him on a charge. Pike subsequently covers his genitals and backside with two small bags. This allows the platoon to escape and they continue their walk, with Pike wearing a potato sack and the German helmet.

Cast

• Arthur Lowe as Captain Mainwaring
• John Le Mesurier as Sergeant Wilson
• Clive Dunn as Lance Corporal Jones
• John Laurie as Private Frazer
• James Beck as Private Walker
• Arnold Ridley as Private Godfrey
• Ian Lavender as Private Pike
• Jonathan Cecil as Captain Cadbury
• Colin Bean as Private Sponge

Notes

1. The location scenes were the final appearance of James Beck as Private Walker, as these were filmed earlier in May 1973 before the studio scenes and before Beck's death in August. For the studio scenes Walker is referred to but never seen, with the assumption that he is guarding the outside of the house, whilst Private Sponge was given most of Walker's lines. Walker is mentioned at the beginning and then appears during the scenes when the platoon are trying to evade the dogs.