Talk:2017 Monaco ePrix
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2017 Monaco ePrix has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. | |||||||||||||
2017 Monaco ePrix is part of the 2016-17 Formula E season race reports series, a good topic. This is identified as among the best series of articles produced by the Wikipedia community. If you can update or improve it, please do so. | |||||||||||||
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GA Review
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:2017 Monaco ePrix/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Bcschneider53 (talk · contribs) 16:11, 30 December 2017 (UTC)
I'll take this one. Comments may not come in for a few days though. Hold me accountable if I forget about this. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:11, 30 December 2017 (UTC)
Lead
[edit]- "All drivers elected to switch into their second cars, and Buemi kept the lead at the lap-26 restart." Two things here, 1) I assume you mean they all changed cars under the safety car? and 2) is the hyphen in "lap-26" necessary? I've never used it in any of my NASCAR race reports...
- Yes, all the drivers switched into the second under safety car conditions; removed the hyphen. MWright96 (talk) 19:07, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
- "The result meant Buemi moved further ahead" Can we just say, "The result moved Buemi further ahead" to simplify a bit?
- Reworded. MWright96 (talk) 19:07, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
Background
[edit]- I was at first a bit confused when I saw di Grassi wasn't concerned about the championship, that is until I clicked on the ref and saw the context. Perhaps adding his quote, "It’s very early to be talking about the championship. We’re [on] round five, there’s another eight to go" would help?
- Added the said quote. MWright96 (talk) 19:07, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
Practice and qualifying
[edit]- "Unlike the preceding four races, the Friday shakedown session was not held." Any reason why? I know Monaco's F1 practice sessions are run on Thursday for various reasons but a casual reader might not know that.
- Despite my very best efforts, the information specifying why exactly there was no shakedown session is not available to my knowledge. MWright96 (talk) 19:07, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
Race
[edit]- "The field settled down for the next six laps with nothing notable of note occurring." 'Notable of note' sounds like something from the Department of the Redundancy Department; I think 'nothing notable occurring' is fine here.
- "Elsewhere, Gutiérrez was investigated by the stewards for an unsafe pit stop release but elected not to penalise the driver." Not a fan of the passive voice here; makes it seem as Gutiérrez elected not to hand out a penalty. I'd suggest "the stewards investigated Gutiérrez..."
Post-race
[edit]- "The top three drivers appeared on the podium to collect their trophies and in a later press conference." Something seems incomplete with the "press conference" part of the sentence here.
Minor issues here, but an excellent job overall once again. You may have potential for a featured topic here. On hold. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 18:04, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Bcschneider53: Thank you Ben. I have put in place the suggestions you placed here and have made my own changes to improve the prose. MWright96 (talk) 19:07, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
- @MWright96: No problem. If you're interested, I currently have Leigh Diffey's article at GAN, though as always, no sweat if you're busy. I'll pass this article. Keep up the good work! --Bcschneider53 (talk) 19:26, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
- @Bcschneider53: Appreciate the offer, but I am currently busy with another project at the moment. If Diffey's article has not been reviewed by the time I've done, I'll gladly review it. MWright96 (talk) 20:11, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
- @MWright96: No problem. If you're interested, I currently have Leigh Diffey's article at GAN, though as always, no sweat if you're busy. I'll pass this article. Keep up the good work! --Bcschneider53 (talk) 19:26, 2 January 2018 (UTC)
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