Talk:Anaïs Barbeau-Lavalette

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Untitled[edit]

I peer reviewed your article. Overall I thought that this article was very well written. It was very informative, giving me great detail about your film maker. The headers and subsections were very well organized allowing me to easily navigate the page and easily find any information that I need. There were many helpful links within the article so I can get more information. The only things that you should change are just aesthetic. For example some of the links within the article do not exist so I would either just remove them or try to fix them. Another problem I see is under the Videoclips section. It seems to be in some sort of grey, but I'm sure you can easily fix that. All in all a very good article.-Maneesh2448 (talk) 00:10, 16 November 2015 (UTC)Maneesh2448

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Word Choice[edit]

The use of the word "credits" does not seem to properly get the message across. The article talks about Anais Barbeau-Lavalette, a film director and screenwriter. The word "credits" is confusing as it is ambiguous. A better word would be "work" - "Her work included the series..." This way we know she contributed to a film, wrote a film, or directed a film. Work encompasses all these acts better than credits. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ineagoe (talkcontribs) 00:30, 16 November 2015 (UTC) --Ineagoe (talk) 00:53, 16 November 2015 (UTC)

Videoclips[edit]

The section including information about "Videoclips" is wrapped in a text box. To continue the streamlined nature of the article, maintain the same font, size, and header use as the previous sections. Remove the bold header as well. The different layout is not necessary.

In addition, the sentence "Through this Barbeau-Lavalette has directed videoclips for musicians, including..." should be revised. Firstly, videoclips should be two words - video clips. The phrase "through this" is confusing. Perhaps include, "Through this organization Barbeau-Lavalette has directed..." This way readers know exactly what it is being referred to. --Ineagoe (talk) 00:53, 16 November 2015 (UTC)

Edit[edit]

Just noticing that the "videoclips" section is a subsection of the "Film career" heading. Keep the bolded format of the title just change it to "Video clips". --Ineagoe (talk) 00:55, 16 November 2015 (UTC)

Improper Use[edit]

It should be noted that "than" used in the sentence: "She than went on to study film production at the INIS" is incorrect. The correct word is "then", explaining that Barbeau-Lavalette later on went to study at the INIS. The word "than" does not make sense in this situation. --Ineagoe (talk) 00:59, 16 November 2015 (UTC)

One small suggestion I have is instead of italicizing The Ring make a link to The Ring. Also in the early life section I went ahead and changed than to then. I do not quite understand why the section under videoclips is boxed off but other than that everything is extremely organized. Well done. — Preceding unsigned comment added by GinaMessick (talkcontribs) 05:15, 16 November 2015 (UTC)

SUggestions[edit]

EDIT[edit]

In the Film Career section of your wiki page, there are a few minor problems. I suggest to underline the title of the documentary in the sentence, "Barbeau-Lavalette directed Les Petits princes des 'bidonvilles (2000)". As well as, capitalize the entire title. Also, in the next sentence, maybe just to make it more concise, instead of saying "creating 15 short documentaries on the theme of volunteerism", I would suggest maybe to either rewrite it or to say "creating 15 short documentaries surrounding volunteerism." or anything else. The "on the" part is confusing.

Content[edit]

Especially with the documentary section, it might be in your benefit, especially with word count, to considered a brief description of each documentary. In your Fiction features you state that Inch'Allah is her most well known film, but where did you get that information? In "short films" you mention for the second time about the 15 documentaries, consider not writing again.