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Did you know nomination

[edit]
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: withdrawn by nominator, closed by BorgQueen (talk13:32, 13 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

5x expanded by Arcahaeoindris (talk). Nominated by Paul2520 (talk) at 19:04, 31 January 2023 (UTC). Note: As of October 2022, all changes made to promoted hooks will be logged by a bot. The log for this nomination can be found at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Blue Marine Foundation, so please watch a successfully closed nomination until the hook appears on the Main Page.[reply]

General: Article is new enough and long enough

Policy compliance:

Hook eligibility:

QPQ: Done.

Overall: @Arcahaeoindris and Paul2520: So i have some concerns. Firstly, the hook isn't really that interesting. I would like for you to propose another one. Second, how many of these sources are reliable. I'm not really familiar with these sources so apologies if i'm too harsh but what makes super yacht times (The link says page not found) and slow life symposium (i can't reach the site) reliable? Also, like half the sources have links yet these links either take me to 404 error pages or the home screen of the news source and not the actual citation. I would like some explanations for this. Onegreatjoke (talk) 16:22, 24 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I also took a look at the article with the intent of possibly suggesting a new hook, but I noticed that the article appeared to have some minor possibly NPOV-violating wording, almost making it read like some kind of advertisement. Phrasing like "On a smaller scale, BLUE was instrumental in July 2012 in the creation of a unique alliance between fishermen and conservationists" and perhaps the whole section may need to be checked for tone. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 02:39, 27 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Hello. I'd like to make clear that this article was split off from a longstanding section of George Duffield (film-maker). I did not write much of the text here or find the sources, and made this clear in the edit history. I'll nevertheless try and fix the 404 links using the dead link fixing tool. Arcahaeoindris (talk) 19:11, 27 February 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Arcahaeoindris: Re-ping due to typo. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 10:31, 19 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Paul2520: Pinging for input. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 04:50, 21 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Narutolovehinata5 and Onegreatjoke:: I believe Arcahaeoindris resolved the issues with dead links. I made a couple edits to wording in the History section.
As for an alt hook, how is this?
ALT1 ... that the Blue Marine Foundation collaborated with the government of Belize to start a marine reserve around the Turneffe Atoll? https://web.archive.org/web/20171213092314/https://www.icriforum.org/news/2013/01/belize-declares-new-marine-reserve-around-turneffe-atoll
Thoughts? = paul2520 💬 14:51, 21 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Paul2520: That might work, but the issues with the article wording will still need to be addressed. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 14:52, 21 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Narutolovehinata5: thanks for the quick reply! Would you be able to point to specific cases? = paul2520 💬 14:54, 21 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Paul2520: It would be hard for me to give specific examples as it's more of a general feeling that the article reads vaguely promotional rather than something totally blatant. However, if you need a start, I think you'd probably have to at least go through the entire History section. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 14:57, 21 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Narutolovehinata5: I made a number of edits. Would you mind taking another look when you have a chance? My take is that I removed superfluous wording. There is still the positive quote, but I believe the section now speaks to the accomplishments of the organization without being flowery or overly promotional. = paul2520 💬 17:41, 21 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Paul2520: The article reads a bit better, but it might still need some work (for example, I think the "legacy of" phrase in the lede should be changed to "legacy project" to be consistent with the rest of the article, and also because calling it just a "legacy" does sound a bit fluff. As Onegreatjoke is the original reviewer I'm also inviting them to take a new look at the article and give feedback as well. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 00:03, 22 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Narutolovehinata5: thanks. @Onegreatjoke: would you mind reviewing this? = paul2520 💬 17:49, 27 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
It looks alright. Onegreatjoke (talk) 13:58, 29 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Arcahaeoindris, Paul2520, Onegreatjoke, and Narutolovehinata5: ALT1 is not OK – yet – because the article says nothing about a collaboration with the Belize government! (It has to be stated explicitly, not just implied; the hook should not contain more information than the article itself.) Could you please add at least one or two more sentences elaborating on the marine reserve around the Turneffe Atoll? At the moment, it's a one-sentence paragraph, which is not particularly informative, despite having six footnotes at the end of the sentence, which suggests that there is plenty more which could be added. That said, I really liked the paragraph on the Lyme Bay Working Group, which does have a lot of information in it, and I think the Blue Marine Foundation's role in the unlikely alliance between the fishermen and conservationists, could make for an interesting hook. Cielquiparle (talk) 06:39, 2 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Cielquiparle, Arcahaeoindris, Onegreatjoke, and Narutolovehinata5:: How is it now? = paul2520 💬 19:49, 3 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Better. Article now refers to the collaboration with the Belize government and cites a specific source for that. Cielquiparle (talk) 12:05, 4 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Per Wikipedia_talk:Did_you_know#Template:Did_you_know_nominations/Neminath_Jain_Temple,_Girnar, it's ineligible. BorgQueen (talk) 22:22, 11 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@BorgQueen:, what is the process to withdraw? I would like to do so.
Arcahaeoindris, my apologies for not realizing that moving content to a new article doesn't count as new content/apply towards the DYK requirements! = paul2520 💬 13:28, 13 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]