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Talk:René Merino Monroy

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GA Review

[edit]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


This review is transcluded from Talk:René Merino Monroy/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: PizzaKing13 (talk · contribs) 08:36, 13 February 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Thebiguglyalien (talk · contribs) 08:46, 9 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]


Hello! I'll review this within the next few days. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 08:46, 9 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

PizzaKing13 The prose and sourcing look pretty good. My main concern is the scope. There's not much analysis of what role Merino has actually played in the administration or what he did in his earlier military service. The information that is here veers off topic, discussing Bukele and the general state of crime in El Salvador more than Merino himself. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 00:28, 11 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Address some, will come back PizzaKing13 ¡Hablame! 18:11, 11 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
PizzaKing13, checking in since it's been about a week now (though I understand you've been busy with the Core Contest). Thebiguglyalien (talk) 06:56, 19 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Thebiguglyalien: Yes, I'll try to address this by today or tomorrow. Thanks for reminding me. PizzaKing13 ¡Hablame! 07:16, 19 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Thebiguglyalien: I'm gonna have to withdraw this GAN as there are some problems you've pointed out that I won't be able to address in a timely manner since I'd have to dig up more info and rewrite some parts. Thanks for the input tho. PizzaKing13 ¡Hablame! 02:16, 21 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Well-written
  • I've made some copyedits. They can be reviewed here. Feel free to change or challenge any of them.
  • The long quotes in Spanish make the article difficult to read. I suggest putting them in {{efn}} tags and then including a notes section with {{noteslist}} at the end of the article.

Lead:

  • rank promotions and lawyers are mentioned below, but there are no issues unique to the lead.
  • What?

Early life:

  • I don't like that this section is only a single sentence. I'd suggest making this section and the next in chronological order by bringing the first paragraph of "Education" up into "Early life", and splitting the second paragraph of "Education" to put each piece where it occurred in his military career. But it's something of a personal preference to have biographies sorted chronologically rather than by topic.
  • Merged Early life and Education into one section

Education:

  • 1986 doesn't have to be repeated. It can just say "June" and "December" if it's clearly referring to the same year. But it can be left alone if you think that would make it unclear.
  • Changed
  • Merino continued some studies during his service in the Salvadoran Navy – "some studies" is unclear. Was he working toward something like a degree or certification?
  • This was meant to be an intro to the next paragraph which expands on this, but I removed the sentence.
  • to become a member of the naval staff – What does "naval staff" mean in this context? Was there a specific position or career track he wanted?

Military service:

  • "served" and "serving" appear in the same sentence, creating redundancy
  • Changed some serves

Security policies:

  • "promised" sounds informal to me. I would just use "said" or "stated". "Declared" if it was particularly dramatic.
  • Avoid "claimed". It could be read as us questioning whether he's honest.
  • a similar spike of homicides occurred when 87 homicides – Redundant use of homicides
  • which suspended some constitutional rights – This makes it sound like the homicides themselves suspended constitutional rights instead of the government.

Involvement in 9f:

  • No prose issues.

Rank promotions:

  • Is "rank promotions" a common term as opposed to just "promotions"?
  • I wasn't sure if "promotions" was specific enough, but changed to "promotions"
  • Lawyers argued that Merino's promotion was illegal – What lawyers? Were they affiliated with any political group?

COVID-19 pandemic:

  • It's confusing to link COVID-19 to "COVID-19 pandemic in in El Salvador", and it's redundant to the further information hatnote.
  • Merino announced exceptions to the lockdown orders – Were these his exceptions, or was he just reporting Bukele's decision?
  • He was the one that announced the exceptions to the public, clarified that it was the government's
  • He also questioned the National Republican Alliance's proposal to implement quarantines within the country's municipalities – What was he implying here? Was he just accusing them of hypocrisy? Or did he believe they had some ulterior motive?
  • How involved was Merino in the vaccination process? It says he received the shipment, that indicates to me that he had some level of administrative control over the process, but the article doesn't elaborate.

Personal life:

  • This is something that could be integrated into the article chronologically, but it's fine either way and entirely up to you. I'm just mentioning that it's an option.
  • I'm gonna leave it separate
  • of having given favors to his son – What kind of favors?
  • "Merino Monroy was the Chief of the Navy General Staff from 2015, and a few years back, he was accused of favoring his son, who was also a soldier, within the navy." ("Merino Monroy era jefe del Estado Mayor General de la Fuerza Naval desde 2015 y años atrás fue acusado de favorecer a su hijo, también militar, dentro de la institución.") I'll look for a source to see if there is any further elaboration.
Verifiable with no original research
  • All sources seem reliable.
  • Verdad Digital is inaccessible, and even the archive.org links turn up 404 errors.
  • Can't find a substitute so removed

Spot checks:

  • Government of El Salvador (2020) – Good, though some clarification is needed that they opposed the "state of exception" but now wish to use emergency powers. It doesn't necessarily say that they opposed quarantines specifically.
  • Guzman (2023) – Good, just needs an "as of October 2023" because it will be incorrect if the number increases.
  • Updated
  • Rauda (2020) – Both uses are good, though it's confusing that "explain [Bukele's] political act" quotes the source even though political act is in itself a quote.
  • changed to "explain Bukele's "political act""
  • Reed (2022) – I don't see any mention of the rights besides a lockdown of prisoners. This source also has nothing to do with Merino.
  • Rodríguez, Ramírez & Karla (2021) – Good.
Broad in its coverage

Main aspects:

  • The "Military career" section is essentially a list of dates from a single source. I would hope for some level of analysis or interpretation from biographic sources.
    I'd hope for that too, but I couldn't find any biography for Merino. Basically everything I could find about his early life only comes from the Salvadoran government's transparency site.
  • For a minister of national defense, there's not much coverage of national defense. Has Merino's role exclusively been domestic law enforcement?
  • Has he done anything since 2021?

Out of scope:

  • The "Security policies" section isn't really about Merino. Statistics, political events, and the tour of the facility aren't relevant unless they're in the context of what role Merino played, what influence he had, and what decisions he specifically made. Even then, the tour doesn't seem that significant.
  • "Involvement in 9F" is more about Bukele's involvement than Merino's. It should only provide what context is necessary, with most of the coverage being Merino's role.
  • Cut down
  • There are two instances where it says who Merino was promoted alongside. Is this relevant?
  • Removed
Neutral

No neutrality issues. The article uses a neutral tone and gives due weight to each aspect.

Stable

No recent disputes. Some updates will be necessary, but the present content isn't going to need to be significantly changed.

Illustrated
  • All images are public domain, though for the first two a standard public domain tag might be more accurate than a Creative Commons 0 tag.
  • I think I changed it to the one you suggested since I saw some of my files changed from CC0 to PDMark.
  • Images are suitably captioned.
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.