Talk:Stephen Dalton

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Biography: Military

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Military history: Aviation / Biography / British / European

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This article has been checked against the following criteria for B-class status:
Referencing and citation: criterion met Coverage and accuracy: criterion met Structure: criterion met Grammar and style: criterion met Supporting materials: criterion met

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	Military aviation task force
	Military biography task force
	British military history task force
	European military history task force

MilHist B-Class assessment comments[edit]

This looks good but I'd suggest a couple of improvements before we complete the assessment:

The lead could stand a bit more flesh on it, at least a couple more sentences.
Some of the sentences are very long and should be broken down, for instance the lead is currently made up of just one sentence, the opening sentence of the main body runs on and on, and the second paragraph of the main body is just one long sentence -- pls check throughout.
Not that it affects assessment but the body might be enlivened by an image, if not of the man himself then perhaps something associated, like a 13 Sqn Tornado or some such (if freely available of course, and not essential).

Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 10:18, 25 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for that. All three suggestions now actioned. Dormskirk (talk) 20:20, 25 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Cool, I've assessed as B-Class. I've also copyedited, as I like to do, implementing a few prose/style thingies that have served me well in my own biographical articles. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 00:27, 26 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]