Template:Did you know nominations/Hill Cumorah Pageant

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:36, 25 February 2012 (UTC)
Paraphrasing

Hill Cumorah Pageant[edit]

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Created/expanded by Eustress (talk). Self nom at 03:13, 23 January 2012 (UTC)

  • Date, length, sourcing and hook OK. No article has been reviewed but it states on Eustress' user page that he/she has had 4 DYKs so I'll accept that. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 13:12, 9 February 2012 (UTC)

I'm concerned that the phrasing used by this article may be too close to that of this source. Nikkimaria (talk) 23:14, 9 February 2012 (UTC)

Please list specific issues so they can be addressed. —Eustress talk 23:31, 9 February 2012 (UTC)
Side-by-side comparison, with similarities bolded:
  • "which was convened annually to coincide with the July 24th Pioneer Day celebration marking the day when Brigham Young first entered the Salt Lake Valley in 1847. Mission president B. H. Roberts and a group of missionaries traveled from New York City to the newly acquired Smith Family Farm to celebrate Pioneer Day. Part of that celebration included the acting out of scenes from the Book of Mormon and LDS Church history"
  • "which was convened annually to coincide with the July 24th Pioneer Day celebration marking the day when Brigham Young first entered the Salt Lake Valley in 1847. The tradition of the Cumorah Conference was begun in the early 1920s when the mission president, B. H. Roberts, and a group of missionaries traveled from New York City to the newly acquired Smith Family Farm to celebrate Pioneer Day. Part of that celebration included the acting out of scenes from the Book of Mormon and church history."
  • "remarked that it was time to phase out missionaries' participation in the pageant. As a result, the cast has since consisted entirely of regular church members"
  • "He remarked that it was time to phase out missionaries' participation in the pageant. As a result, the cast now consists entirely of church members"
  • "Orson Scott Card was assigned the responsibility to write the new script that would become the foundation for all other artistic decisions. He was instructed to make the script" (the next part is directly quoted, so omitted here)
  • "Orson Scott Card was assigned the responsibility to write the new script that would become the foundation for all other artistic decisions. He was instructed to make the script"
These are only the most obvious examples; there are others that are better but still inadequately paraphrased. Nikkimaria (talk) 03:26, 10 February 2012 (UTC)
Thank you. I believe I've now addressed your concerns. —Eustress talk 04:11, 10 February 2012 (UTC)
  • Re-review needed. Yngvadottir (talk) 20:06, 10 February 2012 (UTC)
    • I looked at the recent edit. Honestly, still too close for comfort. Changing a few words here and there doesn't fix it IMHO. Lord Roem (talk) 15:52, 12 February 2012 (UTC)
      • Article untouched in 11 days. Crisco 1492 (talk) 22:06, 22 February 2012 (UTC)
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