The Music Lovers (The Goodies)

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"The Music Lovers"
The Goodies episode
Episode no. Series 2
Episode 12 (of 76)
Produced by
Starring Tim Brooke-Taylor
Graeme Garden
Bill Oddie
Original air date 29 October 1971
(Friday — 10.10 p.m.)
Guest appearance(s)
Henry McGee as the
"Music Master"
Corbet Woodall (as himself)
(the "Newsreader")
Norman Mitchell as "Gerald" Cilla Black (as herself)
Ken Halliwell as "..."
Walter Henry as "..."
Patrick Milner as "..."
— "Tim's glee singers" —
Maria O'Brien & Katya Wyeth
Series 2 episodes
List of The Goodies episodes

"The Music Lovers" is an episode of the award-winning British comedy television series The Goodies.

This episode is also known as "The Music Master" and "Music Master" and as "The Stolen Musicians".

Written by The Goodies, with songs and music by Bill Oddie.


Tim and Graeme are listening to a string quartet in an open-air classical music concert. Bill is also present at the concert, but he is listening to rock music on his radio. Suddenly, some men in dark-coloured suits force the string quartet members to leave the stage. Shocked and disbelieving at what they have just witnessed, the Goodies go home.

Both Graeme and Tim are very disappointed. They had been enjoying listening to the classical music, and they check the newspaper for some live classical music elsewhere, but find that all the live music concerts have been replaced by jukebox music. Turning on the television to hear classical music, they find that Moira Anderson is missing — and they are just in time to see Kenneth McKellar being dragged off stage. The live music television programmes are all being taken over by recorded music.

The Goodies decide to investigate what is happening and form their own music group so that they would also be stolen. Bill 'tunes' their piano so that all the notes sound identical. When Graeme complains, Bill 'tunes' the keyboard so that the keyboard will play musical tunes when a person moves his hand up and down the keyboard (Graeme makes him change the keyboard back to normal). The Goodies try various types of music, and various musical instruments (including a piano accordion which stretches to "the point of no return"). Finally, with Bill playing the guitar, and Graeme programming his computer to play orchestral music, they decide to sing "Land of Hope and Glory" — Bill is the principal singer, and Graeme and Tim sing harmony — with Tim receiving help with his harmony in the form of his "glee singers" (two very pretty girls). At the end of the song, they wait to be kidnapped, and are upset when only Tim's "glee singers" are stolen; the kidnappers reject them because they "ain't good enough."

The next step in their plan to be stolen has the Goodies giving a non-stop Woodstock Festival-type concert, in which they perform songs as various types of music groups. After a week of performances which nobody comes to watch, they are about to give up their plan as being hopeless, but unbeknown to them, the Goodies have also been stolen.

They are driven to a house in the country, where they discover the identity of the mysterious being behind the kidnappings. Telling the Goodies that he is the Music Master, he explains the reason why the kidnappings occurred. The Goodies are not impressed and Graeme says: "You're a loony!", to which the Music Master replies proudly: "Thank you!"

Horrified at what they have found, the Goodies plan to right the situation — however, one of their decisions leads to unexpected and unforeseen consequences for themselves.

The Goodies are now enslaved to the Music Master and Bill finally came up with a plan escape by playing the square dance rhythm and get all the musicians out but Rolf Harris and Cilla Black, Gerald and the mobsters chase after the trio as they playing the instruments to get a head start and defeating them, But the Music Master rides over hill with his cannon organs, eventually The Goodies call out the violinists to shoot violin bows as arrows on the defeated Music Master.

All musicians shown The Goodies some gratitude and rewarding them girts but When Cilla got out of her prison she perish the trio with her high tone voice.


This episode has a sequel — The Goodies' episode "For Those in Peril on the Sea" where the Music Master reappears (going by the name "Nasty Person").

DVD and VHS releases[edit]

This episode has been released on DVD.


  • "The Complete Goodies" — Robert Ross, B T Batsford, London, 2000
  • "The Goodies Rule OK" — Robert Ross, Carlton Books Ltd, Sydney, 2006
  • "From Fringe to Flying Circus — 'Celebrating a Unique Generation of Comedy 1960-1980'" — Roger Wilmut, Eyre Methuen Ltd, 1980
  • "The Goodies Episode Summaries" — Brett Allender
  • "The Goodies — Fact File" — Matthew K. Sharp

External links[edit]

("The Music Lovers" is listed under an alternative title at IMDb)