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Bedřich Smetana

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I have sweated blood over this, and it badly needs fresh eyes. It's the sad, sad, story of a composer who endured many false starts, failures, disappointments and personal tragedies before finally becoming recognised as the founding father of his nation's music. But by then he was too ill to enjoy his success, inflicted as he was by deafness and madness. He is mostly known for the brilliant Bartered Bride overture – this article tells the rest of his story. Comments welcomed from all quarters, on all aspects. Many thanks, Brianboulton (talk) 18:39, 11 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Brian, great article! I have some comments that came to mind after reading it over a couple of times.

If he is considered the father of Czeck music, can that be in the very first sentence? It is the most notable fact of his life. Also, I think the lead should contain a sentence about his personal life, marriages and children.
- Good suggestion. I have extended the first sentence. Brianboulton (talk) 10:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Is there any overlap in information that exists in the main body of the article and in the section at the end entitled "Music"?
- It's difficult to avoid all overlap. What I have tried to avoid is straight duplication. I'll go through again and see if there is any avoidable repetition; if you have seen examples that you feel need attention, can you dentify them? Brianboulton (talk) 10:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Not really, I just wanted to make sure it was not too repetitive which can happen in sections like that. NancyHeise ^talk 14:34, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The section "Piano Institute" omits that he needed the 400 gulden also because he was penniless and his father would not send him any money. I got this off of another website on Smetana, not a scholarly source so maybe I am not 100% correct. It was just a fact that struck me as important event.
- It wasn't really that his father wouldn't send him money, rather that the father was by this time fairly impoverished, and couldn't. Also, we don't know that Smetana was "penniless" – he was living from day to day, he was composing, and he did somehow find the funds to start the school without the loan from Liszt. He was obviously short of funds, but Clapham suggests he may have dramatised his circumstances a little. Brianboulton (talk) 10:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Liszt warm reception of his Six Characteristic Pieces was also considered to be a huge inspiration to Smetana at a time in his life when he needed it most. I don't think the article plays this up enough. In a biography, there are key points in a person's life that are significant and these should be highlighted. I think you have done that but I am not sure that this one is pronounced enough.
- The most significant factor is that, as a result of this dedication, Liszt became a long-term mentor for Smetana. I am adding a sentence to this effect – when I can find the appropriate wording. Brianboulton (talk) 10:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Section headings could be improved. For instance, the section entitled "Sweden" contains more info than his life in Sweden. The section "Early Career" discusses his personal life in the last subsection, not his career . The section headings need to describe what is discussed in each section.
- Agreed as far as "Sweden" is concerned – changed to "Years of travel". I think "Early career" is OK; even though the section includes some personal information id does so in the context of his career development. However, if you can think of a better heading I'd be pleased to adopt it. Brianboulton (talk) 10:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

How about "Travels"? NancyHeise ^talk 14:34, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

On that same note, the section entitled "Summary" under "Music" should really be "Legacy" or something similar.
- Agreed. I've called it "Reputation" Brianboulton (talk) 10:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That's OK but personally I like "Legacy" better. However its not that important. NancyHeise ^talk 14:34, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The lead needs some references, it is totally unreferenced. I know some people like it that way but because Wikipedia is known also as a source of misinformation, I think it is better to reference it.
- Editors have different views about this. Mine is that, provided everything mentioned in the lead is properly referenced in the text, there is no requirement to cite it in the lead. This has been upheld at many FACs. If you have spotted something in the lead that is not referenced in the text, I will deal with it. Brianboulton (talk) 10:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That's fine, I knew that it has gone through FAC before. It is just that when others, like reporters, go to Wikipedia for information, they have to have references to back up the information they find there. References in the lead are probably more important for contentious articles like Roman Catholic Church than for an article like this so I'm fine with that. NancyHeise ^talk 14:34, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I hope that helps, I'll pop in and see if I can offer any more comments as the article developes along through the peer review. Thanks, NancyHeise ^talk 23:39, 11 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks for these comments, and for any others you are able to give. They will all help to improve the article. Brianboulton (talk) 10:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Media review: I think File:Smetana_-_Bartered_Bride_overture.ogg is still copyrighted to Harty's estate for 2 more years. Raising it for discussion at commons:Commons:Deletion requests/File:Smetana - Bartered Bride overture.ogg. All other media is in the public domain or properly licensed. I will go through the content during the weekend and offer comments after. Jappalang (talk) 06:25, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Jonyungk comments:

A tremendous amount of time and care have been shed on this article, and it shows. It is impeccably cited and well-written overall, and though it is a long article, it reads shorter than it actually is due to its being well-paced. My concern after reading it through a few times is that too many of the sentences are paced the same, which can be fatiguing. A greater variety of sentence lengths would help readability. That is my major concern here. Let me share some examples, along with a few other minor quibbles.

Lead

The opening sentence is very long and now even more unwieldly with the addition of Smetana's being the father of Czech music. Perhaps breaking the sentence into two along these lines would help: "Bedřich Smetana (pronounced [ˈbɛdr̝ɪx ˈsmɛtana] (help·info); 2 March 1824 – 12 May 1884) was a Bohemian composer who pioneered the development of a musical style which became closely identified with Czech aspirations to independent statehood. Because of his pioneering efforts, he is widely regarded as the father of Czech music."
- I've followed your suggestion of breaking the sentence, and found a slightly simpler wording. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"After his conventional schooling he studied music under Josef Proksch in Prague, where his nationalistic ideals were kindled – he wrote his first patriotic music during the 1848 Prague uprising in which he briefly participated." Maybe this is my mis-read, but I don't see how his nationalistic ideas were kindled, either here or later in the article. It should be spelled out more clearly and possibly cited as well.
- I've reconsidered this. A re-examination of the sources does not support the assertion that his studies under Proksch kindled his nationalistic ideals. I have therefore withdrawn the phrase. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"During the eight years of his conductorship Smetana's radical ideas about Czech opera were challenged by conservative factions within the city's musical establishment. This developed into a vendetta against him...." This is explained well later in the article but comes across close to POV here. A citation here would help soften things a bit.
- I have softened the wording to remove any hint of POV. The events are adequately cited in the main text. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Apprentice musician

First steps

"Smetana was placed temporarily with his uncle in Nove Mesto, where he enjoyed a brief romance with his cousin Louisa, commemorated in Louia's Polka, his first complete composition that has survived.[13]" This sentence seems awkward but a few extra words and a semi-colon would make it seem less terse and flow better: ... with his cousin Louisa; this romance was commemorated ..."
- Amended along the lines you suggest, but avoiding the repetition of "romance" Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Student and teacher

"By the time Smetana completed his schooling, his father's fortunes had declined, and although František agreed that his son could follow a musical career, there would be no financial support.[12][15]" I would break this sentence after "declined" and start the new sentence with "although."
- Done as you suggest, but I'm slightly concerned at the staccato effect of three successive short sentences. I may tweak this around. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"Lacking any formal musical training, he needed a teacher, and was introduced by Kateřina Kolářova's mother to Josef Proksch, head of the Prague Music Institute – where Kateřina was now studying.[4][15]" Same here—a period after "teacher" and a new sentence beginning with "He was introduced...."
- For the staccato reasons just mentioned, I have left this as it was, but will keep it under consideration. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"Meanwhile his friendship with Kateřina blossomed; in June 1847, on resigning his position in the Thun household, Smetana recommended her as his replacement." I don't see how these two ideas connect closely ehough to warrant a semi-colon. A period might work as well or better.
- I have followed your suggestion. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Early career

Revolutionary

The opening sentence is a little long. Why not phrase it this way: "Smetana's concert tour was poorly supported, so he returned to Prague. He made a living there from private pupils and occasional appearances as an accompanist in chamber concerts.[21]"
- I have let this stand, again mainly to avoid starting a section with three short sentences, two of which begin with "He..."

Private sorrows

"Despite the good name of the Piano Institute, Smetana's status as a concert pianist was far from assured, generally considered to be below that of contemporaries such as Alexander Dreyschock.[35]" Perhaps "... far from assured; it was generally considered ..."
- Simplified to: "Despite the good name of the Piano Institute, Smetana's status as a concert pianist was generally considered to be below that of contemporaries such as Alexander Dreyschock." Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"His disenchantment with Prague was growing and, possibly influenced by Liszt or by accounts from Dreyschock of opportunities to be found in Sweden, Smetana decided to seek success there." A period after "growing" and a new sentence beginning with "Possibly influenced ..."
- I've used a semicolon after "growing". I think this works (though I need to watch my semicolon count)

Years of travel

Göteborg

"He also began composing on a more expansive scale; in 1858 he completed the symphonic poem Richard III, his first major orchestral composition since the Triumphal Symphony." Since this comes after two sentence as long or longer, why not use a period instead of a semi-colon after "scale"?
- Have followed your suggestion

Bereavement, remarriage and return to Prague

"In autumn 1861, following the birth of a daughter Zděnka in September, Smetana set out on a concert tour of Holland and Germany, again hoping to secure his reputation as a pianist, but once again he experienced failure, and by the end of the year he was home in Prague.[43]" This is a really long sentence. What about this: "In autumn 1861, following the birth of a daughter Zděnka in September, Smetana set out on a concert tour of Holland and Germany, again hoping to secure his reputation as a pianist. Once again he experienced failure. By the end of the year he was home in Prague.[43]"
- I have split the sentence, though in a slightly different way. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"However, the defeat of Franz Josef's army at Solferino in 1859 had led to a more enlightened atmosphere in Prague ..." How was this so? Again, maybe this is my mis-read, but a few words of explanation would help.
- I have extended a little, and I hope it is clearer. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

National prominence

Opposition

"This issue divided Prague's musical society; musicologist Otakar Hostinský believed that Wagner's theories should be the basis of the national opera, and argued that Dalibor was the beginning of the "correct" direction, whereas the opposite camp, led by Pivoda, supported the principles of Italian opera in which the voice rather than the orchestra was the predominant dramatic device.[53]" This sentence would read better if broken up into two or three smaller ones. Perhaps: "This issue divided Prague's musical society. Musicologist Otakar Hostinský believed that Wagner's theories should be the basis of the national opera, and argued that Dalibor was the beginning of the "correct" direction. The opposite camp, led by Pivoda, supported the principles of Italian opera in which the voice rather than the orchestra was the predominant dramatic device.[53]
- Have followed your suggestion. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Final decade

Deafness

"Resignation was inevitable; the theatre offered him an annual pension of 1,200 gulden for the continued right to perform his operas, an arrangement which Smetana reluctantly accepted.[77]" Again, these two thoughts don't connect closely enough to me to warrant a semi-colon. Perhaps a preiod after "inevitable"?
- Have reworded and avoided the semicolon. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"Money raised in Prague by former students, and by former lover Fröjda Benecke in Göteborg, amounted to 1,244 gulden,[78] which allowed Smetana to seek medical treatment abroad, but to no avail.[53]" Here I would use either a semi-colon or a period: "... amounted to 1,244 gulden.[78] This allowed Smetana ..."
- Done (two sentences) Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Music

You mention Harold Schonberg as a "historian," then later as a "music historian." If you are referring to Harold C. Schonberg, he was actually a music critic for The New York Times who also wrote music history. Am I splitting too many hairs here? :-)
- I'll go through and call him "music critic". There are enough music historians cited in the article! Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Vocal and choral

"Apart from his 1848 Song of Freedom, he did not begin to write pieces for a full choir until after his Göteborg sojourn, when he composed numerous works for the Hlahol choral society, mostly for unaccompanied male voices.[107]" Perhaps a semi-colon after "sojourn" and "there" instead of "where"?
- Can't find the word "where" in the sentence. I have let the sentence stand for the moment. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Opera

"Newmarch argues that The Bartered Bride, while not a "gem of the first order", is nevertheless a perfectly cut and polished stone of its kind."[134]" You are missing a quote mark but I'm not sure if it should go before "nevertheless," "a" or "perfectly."
- Quote mark added. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

"In his final decade, the most fruitful of his compositional career despite his deafness and increasing ill-health, Smetana belatedly received national recognition, his late works generally being acclaimed." The last part of this sentence feels awkward. Here a semi-colon and a word added: "In his final decade, the most fruitful of his compositional career despite his deafness and increasing ill-health, Smetana belatedly received national recognition; his late works were generally being acclaimed."
- I have deleted the last phrase, since this I think its meaning is implied by his receiving "national recognition". Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Again, overall this article is excellent and a major achievement. Well done! Jonyungk (talk) 19:58, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am extremely grateful for your suggestions, most of which I have adopted. It is really good to have other eyes on the prose, to highlight shortcomings which I wouldn't necessarily notice myself. Brianboulton (talk) 23:52, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Jappalang

Issues resolved. Jappalang (talk) 09:06, 22 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Family background and childhood

"... near the old border between Bohemia and Moravia, both then provinces of the Habsburg Empire."
Is both needed?
No, removed
"... his third wife Barbora, née Lynková."
Should there be a comma after "Barbora"?
Yes, I think so. The sentence does not look right if I remove it.
Umm, pardon my ignorance, why? Is her name "Barbora, née Lynková"? Jappalang (talk) 11:33, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"née" is not part of her name. It is a French word meaning "born as", which is commonly used in English to indicate a married woman's maiden name. Thus "Barbora, née Lynková" means "Barbora, whose maiden name was Lynková". To save further argument I have withdawn "née".
That certainly shows my Franco-ignorance... Jappalang (talk) 03:11, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"he and Barbora would have ten more children together,"
I think "together" is redundant here...
You are probably right. Removed
"... and had later become moderately wealthy during the Napoleonic Wars by supplying clothing and provisions to the French Army."
Suggestion: "and made a moderate fortune during ....", I recall someone once said that "become" is a bit too generic and passive in tone.
The source words it as: "acquired a certain wealth", which I think is slightly different from "made a moderate fortune". I have compromised with "acquired moderate wealth".
"... gymnasium at Jihlava, where he did badly, ... Premonstratensian school at Německý Brod where he was happier."
Could be a mismatch here between "badly" and "happier"; he might be doing badly (results) at the school but could be happy. Is there some other reason he was not happy at the gymnasium?
I've added a bit. Basically, he was homesick at Jihlava and unable to work.

First steps

"Finding Jungmann's school unsympathetic,"
Unsympathetic to what?
Unsypathetic in the general senses of "uncongenial". I've altered the word, and added a bit by way of illustration
"... joined an amateur string quartet for which he composed ..."
Is string quartet to be referred with "which"? "Whom"?
I think either works, but I'll settle for your choice
"However, the Prague idyll ended when Frantíšek discovered his son's truancy, and removed him from the city."
Why did his father (a gifted musician) oppose to Smetana's interest in music?
Frantisek thought that music should be a hobby, not a career. I've added this to the text.
"... where he enjoyed a brief romance with his cousin Louisa; this passion was commemorated in Louia's Polka, Smetana's first complete composition that has survived."
Suggestion: "... where he enjoyed a brief romance with his cousin Louisa. He commemorated their passion in Louia's Polka, Smetana's earliest complete composition that has survived." Active voicing, and I think "earliest" would be more apt...
"Smetana's first complete composition that has survived.": The first of Smetana's complete works to have survived?

"Smetana's first complete composition, which has survived.": Smetana's first complete work, which is still around?

"Smetana's earliest complete composition that has survived.": Smetana's earliest complete work known to have survived?
I have adopted your wording.
"... his matriculation in 1843."
Matriculation into what?
The source simply says he matriculated. Presumably the word is used in the general sense of completing secondary education to a standard that qualifies one for college or university, whether one goes or not.
Interesting... it does mean "meet the requirements to enter university" (Matriculation); being from a former UK colony, I bend towards the "entry into university" definition. Maybe make the intent of "Smetana's meeting the university requirements" clearer? Jappalang (talk) 11:33, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
There is nothing in the biographies that Smetana evercontemplated university. I suspect that the biographer who used the word did so rather loosely. Another biographer simply says he "completed his schooling", and I have changed the wording to that.
"Smetana was entirely captivated,"
Suggestion: "Smetana was entirely captivated with her,"
Agreed

Student and teacher

"... there would be no financial support."
Suggestion: "... he would not provide financial support."
Agreed

Revolutionary

"In a climate of political change and upheaval a pro-democracy movement in Prague, led by Smetana's old friend Karel Havlíček, was urging an end to Habsburg absolutist rule."
Is the "climate of political change and upheaval" due to this movement (which would then render the sentence structurally weird), or to something else? If the latter, what?
I have added more text to explain what was going on.
Is there an article that expounds on this period of political chaos? Is revolutions of 1848 in the German states related to this? Jappalang (talk) 11:33, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
No, Revolutions of 1848 in the Habsburg areas is the relevant article, though it is not very good. I will add a link if you think it would be helpful. Brianboulton (talk) 19:01, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
I linked it in; not every article we can link to is a gem... Jappalang (talk) 03:11, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"... including two marches dedicated ..."
Non-music inclined readers (Moi! moi!) might puzzle over "marches".
You have my sympathy. Musically, a march is a march; the best I can do is make a link to "March (music)"
"In June 1848, when Prague was under attack from the Austrian forces led by the Prince of Windisch-Grätz, Smetana helped man the barricades as a member of the Svornost citizens' army."
Too sudden. We do not know who Svornost is and that the revolution had captured Prague. This section can be rewritten to address a bit of history here. An introduction of Svornost and how he captured Prague is in order.
More explanation added. Svornost isn't a man. its the Czech word for "united", and was the name given to the citizens' army that was formed to defend the city. I hope my rewording has outlined the situation better. I am not anxious to extend the article further with long explanations of 19th century European history, if I can avoid it.
I think it should be made clear that Prague has decided to declare itself independent(?) of the Hapsburgs, then it raised a citizen's army to enforce their independence... or was it that Havlíček formed the citizen's army and took over Prague, declaring their intention to secede? Jappalang (talk) 11:33, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
This is a wrong analysis. As my text says, the revolutionary movement in Prague was seeking an end to Austrian absolutism, and more autonomy. It was not seeking independence from the Habsburg empire. The citizens' army was a purely defensive force formed to guard the city against attack. It did not seize power, there was no talk of secession etc. The Habsburgs, however, were very heavy-handed in putting down even mild dissent. This incident was only a brief part of Smetana's life, he was not a leader of the quasi-revolt; I think that in the context of his whole life the episode is dealt with adequately. Brianboulton (talk) 19:01, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Piano Institute

"Smetana's ~~performances in these~~ concerts became a recognised feature of Prague's musical life." could be shortened as such.
The source makes it clear that it was Smetana's own performances that were the highlight of these concerts, so I prefer to leave the wording as it is.
"Four daughters ~~would be~~ were born to the couple between 1851 and 1855."
Agreed

Budding composer

"At his own expense Smetana hired an orchestra to perform the symphony at the Konvikt Hall in Prague on 26 February 1855."
Suggestion: "Undeterred, Smetana hired an orchestra at his own expense to perform the symphony at the Konvikt Hall in Prague on 26 February 1855."
Suggestion accepted. Brianboulton (talk) 20:14, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Private sorrows and professional disenchantment

"In July 1856 Smetana received news of the death in exile of his revolutionary friend Karel Havliček."
"Death in exile of ..." seems a bit awkward. Perhaps mention Havliček's exile in "Revolutionary" section, and simply have "death of ..." here?
Sorry, I see no awkwardness in the phrase "death in exile" – common English usage. I have, however, incorporated Havliček's exile into the "Revolutionary" section.
"... Franz Josef's accession had faded as Austrian absolutism reasserted itself under Baron Alexander von Bach."
I think "had" is not necessary.
The hopes following Franz Josef's accession diminished over a period of time, and by 1856 had faded altogether. In that sense, "had" is appropriate. If you feel strongly abou it I'll change it. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"possibly influenced by Liszt or by accounts from Dreyschock of opportunities to be found in Sweden,"
Suggestion: "possibly influenced by Liszt or Dreyschock's accounts of opportunities to be found in Sweden,"
With respect, I marginally prefer my wording. I have put a comma after Liszt, though. Brianboulton (talk) 20:26, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Göteborg

"In summer 1857 Smetana came home to Prague, where he found that Kateřina's health was failing."
Suggestion: "In summer 1857 Smetana came home to Prague and found Kateřina in failing health."

Bereavement, remarriage and return to Prague

"After placing Žofie with Kateřina's mother,"
Does this mean that Smetana left Žofie left with Kateřina's mother and never took care of her upbringing from then on?
I don't know, the sources don't say. After this, Zofie's next mention in the Large biography is her marriage in 1874. Brianboulton (talk) 20:29, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"In January 1862 he conducted performances of Richard III and Wallenstein's Camp in the Žofin Island concert hall, to a muted reception. Critics accused him of adhering too closely to the "New German" school represented primarily by Liszt; Smetana responded that "a prophet is without honour in his own land." However, the defeat of Franz Josef's army at Solferino in 1859 had weakened the Habsburg Empire, and led to the fall from power of von Bach. This brought a more enlightened atmosphere to Prague, and Smetana saw prospects of a better future for Czech nationalism and culture. Although in March 1862 he made a last brief visit to Göteborg, the city no longer held his interest; it appeared to him a provincial backwater and, whatever the difficulties, he now determined to seek his musical future in Prague: "My home has rooted itself into my heart so much that only there do I find real contentment. It is to this that I will sacrifice myself."
There seems to be a "putting the cart before the horse" approach here. We start off with 1862, in which he found disappointment. Next, we state that in 1859, he saw hope. The order of the sentences would suggest that his disappointment of 1862 would then be solved by his new found hope, which happened in 1859... (see the chronological confusion I am having?). Is the intent:
- Smetana's 1862 disappointment could not overcome the hope he had held since 1859,

- or Smetana was disappointed, but was reminded (by friends or recollection) of the events of 1859 and re-energised
I have slightly reorganised the second paragraph, to present a clearer idea of the chronology, which is this: By 1861 Smetana is aware of a change in the atmosphere in Prague, the result of the change in the Habsburg fortunes after Solferino. At this stage he hasn't made up his mind about his future; he goes on a concert tour which doesn't work out, he organises a concert in Prague which likewise fails. He goes back to Sweden for a short visit but finds it uninspiring, and at that point, nowithstanding possible difficulties, commits himself absolutely to Prague. Brianboulton (talk) 21:35, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In light of the above, the "Although" in "Although in March 1862 he made a last brief visit to Göteborg," seems obsolete. There is no need for the contradictory connection.
It has been deleted.

Seeking recognition

"It had been announced in 1861 that a Provisional Theatre was to be built in Prague, as a home for Czech opera."
Suggestion: "In 1861, it was announced for a Provisional Theatre to be built in Prague, as a home for Czech opera."
I've more or less followed this suggestion. Brianboulton (talk) 21:43, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"Smetana saw this as an opportunity to write and stage opera reflecting Czech national character, in the way that Mikhail Glinka had portrayed Russian life in his operas."
Suggestion: "Smetana saw this as an opportunity to write and stage opera that would reflect Czech national character, similar to the portrayals of Russian life in Mikhail Glinka's operas."
Suggestion adopted. Brianboulton (talk) 21:43, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"He hoped, optimistically, that he might ..."
"Optimistically" seems redundant.
Removed.
"By April 1863 he was able to submit the score, under the title of The Brandenburgers in Bohemia."
Suggestion: "In April 1863 he submitted the score, under the title of The Brandenburgers in Bohemia."
Suggestion adopted.
"At this stage Smetana was still relatively unknown, and had poor command of the Czech language."
Is he "relatively unknown" at just the national level? He seems to have a bit of notoriety in the music circle at this time. Perhaps "Smetana was still relatively unknown at the national level, and had poor command of the Czech language."?
The paragraph is really about the development of his Czech language skills; the first phrase, about him being relatively unknown, doesn't sit well here. I have removed it. Brianboulton (talk) 22:20, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"His generation of Czechs has been educated in German,"
Should it not be "His generation of Czechs was educated in German,"?
Agreed
"and as his fluency in the Czech language developed he composed patriotic choruses for the Society;"
I think there should be a comma after "developed"; there seems to be a several spots in the article where a comma would cut the sentence clearer.
Comma deployment is often a matter of personal style, except where the meaning of a sentence may be affected. I tend towards sparseness, others feel differently. I will do a comma audit of the article before taking it forward. Brianboulton (talk) 22:20, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Opera maestro

"... stage the new opera, which ~~was~~ premiered on ..."?
"The opera ~~was to go~~ went through ..."?
Both the above agreed
"and almost immediately achieved a long-standing ambition – appointment as principal conductor of the Provisional Theatre,"
I think they frown on spaced emdashes (wait... is this an endash?) these days... Anyway, did Maýr resign, or did the theatre terminate his conductorship?
They are endashes. As to Mayr, none of the sources clarify this, but I guess he resigned (he had plenty of supporters and eventually got the job back). I can't cite anything, though. Brianboulton (talk) 22:30, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"The quality of Smetana's production of Glinka's A Life for the Czar angered Glinka's champion Mily Balakirev, and caused prolonged hostility between the two men."
Suggestion: "Smetana's production of Glinka's A Life for the Czar angered the Russian composer's champion, Mily Balakirev. Believing the quality of Smetana's version to be an insult to Glinka, Balakirev was hostile to Smetana and his works for a long time."
"Believing the quality of Smetana's version to be an insult to Glinka..." goes beyond the sources, so I can't say that. However, I have reworded to make clear that it was Balakirev's reaction to Smetana's production which caused the long hostility between them. Brianboulton (talk) 22:41, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"... lay the foundation stone for ~~what would become a permanent~~ the National Theatre;"? It did burn down...
OK, agreed. Brianboulton (talk) 22:30, 15 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Opposition

"Pivoda had formerly been a supporter of Smetana's, but was aggrieved when the latter recruited singing talent from abroad rather than from Pivoda's school."
Suggestion: "Formerly a supporter of Smetana's, Pivoda was aggrieved when the conductor recruited singing talent from abroad rather than from Pivoda's school."
"... calling it an example of extreme "Wagnerism", unsuited as a model for Czech national opera."
Suggestion: "... calling it an example of extreme "Wagnerism" and thus, unsuited as a model for Czech national opera."
Both above suggestions have been incorporated. Brianboulton (talk) 00:07, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"Musicologist Otakar Hostinský believed that Wagner's theories should be the basis of the national opera, and argued that Dalibor was the beginning of the "correct" direction. The opposite camp, led by Pivoda, supported the principles of Italian opera in which the voice rather than the orchestra was the predominant dramatic device."
What are "Wagner's theories"?
This is a bit of a problem. The sources talk of "Wagner's theories" seemingly on the assumption that readers will know what is meant, since they don't actually specify. I do know what is meant, I think – the theory that opera should be based on a continuous musical framework rather than on individual numbers, the use of the declamatory rather than the lyrical voice, and the use of leitmotivs to represent character or objects. These are the pillars of Wagnerian opera. However, this is too much explanation for the Smetana article, and would be OR anyway, as my interpretation of what is meant. I have added the words "about the way opera should be constructed" after "Wagner's theories". If you have a better idea, which does not involve introducing a disquisition on Wagner, I'd be willing to take this on board. Brianboulton (talk) 00:07, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Perhaps some other reviewer can help here? Jappalang (talk) 03:11, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"The machinations of Pivoda and his supporters ~~had~~ distracted Smetana from composition,"?
Agreed.

Deafness

""I cannot live under the same roof as a person who hates and persecutes me", Smetana informed her."
Should that not be "... with a person who ..."?
It's a quote. I have to say it as Smetana wrote it (or as the source gives it in translated form).Brianboulton (talk) 00:07, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
If it is a grammatical mistake, {{sic}} might be of help. Jappalang (talk) 03:11, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It may be technically wrong, but it is the sort of thing that is frequently said. The {{sic}} tag should be reserved for egregious errors; to use it here would in my view look pedantic. Brianboulton (talk) 14:56, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Illness and death

"but it was later understood that his physical and mental decline, and final madness,"
Understood by who? Who gave the diagnosis?
"This disputed theory was supported by tests carried out in the late 20th century on samples of muscular tissue from Smetana's exhumed body."
Who disputed it?
"... Czech physician Dr Jiří Ramba, who has argued that the tests do not provide a basis for a reliable conclusion.'"
Why do the tests not provide a basis for a reliable conclusion?
I am going to rewrite the text relating to cause of death and subsequent theories. I have garnered a bit more information. Brianboulton (talk)
"... survived by Bettina, their daughters Zděnka and Božena, and by Žofie. None of ~~these had~~ them played any significant role ..."
Agreed

Chamber

"His second String Quartet, in D minor, written in 1882–83 in defiance of his doctors,"
What were the doctors' advice?
That he should refrain from all musical activity. I have clarified this and added an appropriate reference. Brianboulton (talk) 15:07, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Orchestral

"Its rejection by the Court, and its lukewarm reception when Smetana premiered it in Prague, did not lead the composer to abandon it."
Suggestion: "Despite the symphony's rejection by the Court and the lukewarm reception on its premiere, Smetana did not abandon the work."
Agreed.
"These works gave Smetana answers to compostional questions that had previously perplexed him,"
Uh, what are "compostional questions"?
My typo: "compositional". Basically, questions about the composition of orchestral music. Have clarified in the text. Brianboulton (talk) 15:21, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"... Smetana was largely occupied by opera ..."
Occupied "with" or "by"?
"With - changed.
"Smetana dedicated the work to the city of Prague;"
Má vlast or The Bartered Bride?
Má vlast - now clarified
"after its first performance in November 1882 it was acclaimed as the true representation of Czech national style."
Missing comma, and who acclaimed it? I think attribution is a must since the claim is "the true representation of Czech national style."
Not sure about the missing comma. It was acclaimed by the Czech musical public as representing Czech national style, and I have added this. Brianboulton (talk) 15:41, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Opera

"Smetana had virtually no precursors in Czech opera apart from František Škroup,"
"Predecessors" or "precursors"?
Well, they are synonyms, so either will do, as would "forerunners". Brianboulton (talk) 15:41, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"He had studied Wagner, and believed that Wagner's reforms of the operatic genre would be its salvation, but drew also on other European traditions, notably Slavonic and French."
Perhaps this sentence can be broken into two simpler ones? Not too sure if Wagner can be equated as a "European tradition".
Wagner would be considered part of the German tradition. I have split the sentence, however. Brianboulton (talk) 15:41, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"was ~~actually~~ composed before Smetana received the draft libretto," Doubt "actually" is really needed; does "before" need to be italicised
I agree: "actually" is redundant, and before does not need italics. Also, it transpires that what Smetana composd at this stage was a piano version of the overture, so I'll include that information. Brianboulton (talk) 15:41, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"German critic William Ritter reportedly believed that Smetana's creative powers ..."
I am constantly told that or asked if the opinions of critics/scholars should be phrased in the present tense... is this the case? I am still getting mixed up now and then...
I've got round this by reworsing: "In the view of German critic William Ritter, Smetana's creative powers..." Brianboulton (talk) 15:41, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

"... and indifferent reception of Richard III and Wallenstein's Camp at Zofin Island ..."
Do we have plural form for "reception" (receptions) in British English?
You could say "receptions", but as both works were given at the same concert, I think the singular form is OK here. Brianboulton (talk) 16:35, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"... was not ~~at first~~ readily understood by the public and was condemned by some critics." Is "some" not weaselly?
Yes, I have rephrased this. Brianboulton (talk) 16:35, 16 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"Nevertheless, the first few performances in October 1882 of an evidently under-rehearsed The Devil's Wall were chaotic, leaving the composer feeling "dishonoured and dispirited"."
Suggestion: "Nevertheless, the first few performances in October 1882 of an evidently under-rehearsed The Devil's Wall were chaotic, and the composer was left feeling "dishonoured and dispirited"."
Agreed.