Talk:Alas! and Did My Saviour Bleed

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A fact from Alas! and Did My Saviour Bleed appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 3 June 2024 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that the 18th-century hymn "Alas! and Did My Saviour Bleed" has been criticised because its lyrics have singers call themselves a "worm"?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2024/June. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Alas! and Did My Saviour Bleed.

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Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 talk 11:03, 26 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

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~~... that the 18th-century hymn "Alas! and Did My Saviour Bleed" has been criticised for its reference to worms?~~

Source: Several examples in the article, including Coughlin, No More Jellyfish (2008), p. 101: "Many believers were given what's called worm theology. The name comes from the Isaac Watts hymn "Alas! And Did My Saviour Bleed," one line of which says, "Would He devote that sacred head for such a worm as I?"

Reviewed:

Created by Mystery Merrivale (talk). Number of QPQs required: 0. Nominator has less than 5 past nominations.

Mystery Merrivale (talk) 17:16, 11 May 2024 (UTC).[reply]

I am willing to review this later today. Please think about rephrasing the hook or find a different one, because it's not just a reference to worms which was seen as a problem, but that the singer has to call himself or herself a worm. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:43, 18 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Interesting detailed article, on fine sources, offline sources accepted AGF, no copyvio obvious. I have the above problem with the hook, and actually the lead, where it says "described as a worm". I think it's key that the singer says it in the first person, referring to their own person, - not just to some worm. Perhaps just quote the complete phrase?

In the article, please check all quotation for punctuation that doesn't belong within the quote. I am also not sure about the capitals in the title, because - per this being the incipit (or first line), you could also have sentence case, as at least one source has (and hymnary.org seems undecided, having both on one page). Nice to meet you! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:51, 18 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Gerda Arendt: Good to meet you too! Thanks for the review. I think I've made the required changes to the article. I'm not sure what the style requirements are for the title, but sources use both sentence case and title case. How about this for a hook:

ALT 1: ... that the 18th-century hymn "Alas! and Did My Saviour Bleed" has been criticised because its lyrics lead the singer to call themselves a "worm"?

Mystery Merrivale (talk) 19:35, 24 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, that works better for me. Wordsmiths can try to say that it's a first-person singer. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 19:44, 24 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]