Jump to content

Stay-at-home dad

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This is an old revision of this page, as edited by Brunzy03 (talk | contribs) at 17:10, 28 July 2009 (→Appearances in entertainment). The present address (URL) is a permanent link to this revision, which may differ significantly from the current revision.

A stay-at-home dad with his children.

A stay-at-home dad (alternatively, stay at home father, house dad, SAHD or househusband) is a term used to describe a male parent who is the main caregiver of the children and is the homemaker of the household.

Evolution of family roles

Colonial period families

In the colonial United States, the nuclear family was the most common family form.[1] Typical families consisted of five or more children initially, but because of high infant mortality rates, only a few of those children survived adolescence.[1] Additionally, colonial families existed to serve six main functions: as a self-sufficient business, as a school, as a vocational institute, as a church, as a house of correction, and as a welfare institution.[2]

The first African-Americans to reach America were initially brought over as indentured servants, but instead they became slaves, and by the nineteenth century, slave trading was a thriving business.[3] Typical families consisted of one or two children and women were primarily the head of the families, either because the fathers had died or had been separated from the family.[3] African-American women experienced what came to be known as the "double day," a full day of domestic chores plus a full day of work outside the home.[4]

Industrialization (1800-1900)

The Industrial Revolution led to extensive mechanization, which shifted home manufacturing to large-scale factory production. As this rapid transition took place, families lost many of their production functions. Instead, family members had to work outside the home to earn enough.[5] As a result, husbands and wives began operating in separate spheres of activity. The husband became the "breadwinner" by going out and working, while the wife stayed home and took care of the family.[5]

Transition to modern family (1900-present)

The modern family is commonly thought to have originated in the 1830s: courtship became more open, marriages were often based on affection, and parents devoted more attention to children.[6] At the same time, if not for all of the major events in the twentieth century, the American family would not have transitioned to what it is today. These events include, but are not limited too, the Great Depression, World War II, and the baby boom generation. Each of these events significantly impacted the structure of the family and the roles each member had within it.

At the beginning of the twentieth century, married couples began to emphasize the importance of sexual attraction and compatibility in their relationships. This lead to more intimate and open relationships and more adolescent freedom. The transition of the family was influenced by the Great Depression, which forced many women into the workplace in order to help compensate.[6] This all changed in 1932 when a federal executive order stated that only one spouse could work for the federal government. This resulted in many women being forced to resign allowing their husbands to continue working and fulfilling the breadwinner role in the family.[7]

World War II had the biggest impact on changing family roles. Due to the draft, workers were scarce in many industries and employers began to fill jobs with women, mainly in nontradtional positions. The increase in working women became one of the few times in history where women were praised for work outside the home.[8] Divorce rates also reached a new high after the war because many women had a new found sense of independence. This independence caused some women to decide to end their unhappy marriages.[9]

The 1950s saw a "baby boom" in America. This was credited to families trying to make up lost time after the war. As a result, many families moved to the suburbs instead of residing in the city, two-income families began to increase, and grown children began to remain at home longer because of financial difficulties.[10]

Increase in popularity

Stay-at-home dads are seen in increasing numbers in Western culture (especially Canada and the northern U.S.), since the late 20th century. In developed East Asian nations such as Japan and South Korea this practice is less common.

There are several reasons why there has been an increase in househusbands over the past few years.

  • Disappearance of the types of white-collar jobs that men had been traditionally trained for. A great many laid-off middle-aged men have become essentially unemployable, thereby causing a role reversal for economic reasons.
  • Women are progressing into higher paying jobs. There are now financial ramifications in deciding which parent is to become the stay-at-home parent. In cases where the woman is the higher-paid parent, it makes more economic sense for her to continue to work while the man takes on the stay at home role.
  • The idea of fixed gender roles has become less prominent in the Western world of recent years, allowing men to make their own choice of career, regardless of what used to be a requirement for them.
  • The men who choose this role may do so because they enjoy being an active part of their children's lives and do not want to be away from the family as much as their fathers may have been. Families vary widely in terms of how household chores are divided.
  • The rising number of single fathers and gay couples raising children mean that there is no potential stay-at-home mother.
  • With the growth of telecommuting, many men are able to work from home and be full-time child caretakers at the same time.
  • There are fewer restrictions on what constitutes a family.
  • More career and lifestyle options are accepted and prevalent in American society.

Reasons for stay-at-home dads vs. housewives

There are several reasons why some families feel that it would be more beneficial for the father to be the primary care giver of the children, while the mother works out of the home. These reasons include, but are not limited to (in all scenarios the family did not wish to use daycare for one reason or another):[11]

  • The dad is out of work, or makes less money than the mother.[11]
  • The mother's job offers health benefits for the family whereas the father's does not.[11]
  • The father wishes to be the primary caregiver/stay-at-home dad.[11]
  • The mother wants to pursue her career.[11]
Of the 187 participants at Fortune Magazine's Most Powerful Women in the Business Summit, 1/3 of the women's husbands were stay-at-home dads.[12]
  • The father is able to work from home and still be the primary care giver of the family's children.[11]
  • The father works odd work shifts while the mother has a typical nine to five work schedule.[11]

Some retired males who marry a younger woman decide to become a stay-at-home dad while the wife works because they want a "second chance" to watch a child grow up in a second or third marriage.[12]

Disadvantages

Depending on the country or region, a stay-at-home dad might find more or less social support for his decision. In some regions where traditional roles prevail, a stay-at-home dad might be shunned by stay-at-home mom's peer group. In order to find support for their choice, these men have created and joined many support networks.[13]

Still, many men struggle to find acceptance within the role of househusband despite the many gains that have been made. Many men worry about losing their business skills and "professional place in line.[12] There is a common misconception that stay-at-home dads cannot get a job and therefore must rewrite the typical family roles, forcing the wife into the workforce. In actuality however, many stay-at-home dads choose this role for other reasons.[11]

One 2002 study suggested stay-at-home dads may face a higher risk of heart disease.[14] The reasons for the alleged health risk, however, are not specified.

The role of stay-at-home dad is difficult for men who feel like they had no option. It is hard for these men to adapt from being a financial provider in the family to being a homemaker. The men who willingly choose to become a stay-at-home dad are much more satisfied with their role in the family.[12]

Carrying the financial burden and dealing with children's attachment to the dad can be difficult on a working mother.[15]

Advantages

For the child

The bond between father and child is just as, if not more, important as the mother's in the overall social and emotional development of a child. There have been many studies done which suggest the importance of the paternal role in a child's life and benefits of the stay-at-home dad.[16]

  • Dr. Kyle D. Pruett found that infants between 7–30 months respond more favorably to being picked up by their fathers.[11]
  • Studies show that during the first five years of a child's life, the father's role is more influential than the mother's in how the child learns to manage his/her body, navigate social circumstances, and play.[16]
  • In a 1996 study by McGill University they found the "single most important childhood factor in developing empathy is paternal involvement in childcare".[11] The study further concluded that fathers who spent time alone bonding with their children, more than twice a week, brought up the most compassionate adults.[11]
  • Robert Frank, a professor of child development at Oakton Community College in Illinois conducted a study comparing households with a stay-at-home dad and households with a stay-at-home mom. His study concluded that women were still able to form a strong bond with their children despite working full-time outside of the home. Also, women working full time were often more engaged with their children on a day to day basis than their male counterparts. His study concluded that in a family with a stay-at-home dad arrangement, the maternal and paternal influences are equally strong. This contrasts with the more traditional family structure where the father works out of the home and the mother stays home with the children. In this type of arrangement, the mother's influence is extremely strong, whereas the father's is seemingly insignificant. In his study he found that both parents play an equal role in a child's development, but the stay-at-home dad arrangement is the most beneficial for the child.[17]

For the mother

The stay-at-home dad arrangement allows the mother to work without having to deal with daycare or finding a nanny, which can be extremely stressful. It can be stressful because you have to spend time checking backgrounds and putting a lot of trust in people you may not know well, along with it becoming expensive. This arrangement also ensures that the families' values are being upheld and instilled in the children.[11]

For the father

Appearances in entertainment

The most important way for the stay-at-home dad to become an acceptable practice in life, is to see it communicated worldwide through media and role models. The following section provides examples from film, radio, literature and television, in which the stay-at-home dad is portrayed. Over the years more and more forms of entertainment have addressed this life style. This is especially important in the United States as it is a culture driven by the media. These movies teach children as well as adults that it is okay for a father to be a stay-at-home dad. It is also a useful tool to reinforce or negate stereotypes. The movie Mr. Mom gives fuel to stereotypes that dads are unfit to handle the at home responsibilities. While other movies like Daddy Day Care show how fathers can adapt and fulfill the role nicely. It is important for people who do not come from a family with a stay-at-home family to see this, so that they can experience the life style vicariously and become more acceptable of the other families who have a stay-at-home dad.

Movies

Mr. Mom
The Michael Keaton movie Mr. Mom (1983) features one of the more famous portrayals of a stay-at-home dad. Many stay-at-home dads dislike being labeled Mr. Mom largely due to the bumbling nature of the title character, the implication that stay-at-home dads are maternal rather than paternal, and the general emasculating tone of such terminology. Many fathers feel that their contributions are as fathers, equal yet distinct from mothers' contributions.[18]
Daddy Day Care
The 2003 Movie Daddy Day Care starring Eddie Murphy, Jeff Garlin, and Steve Zahn, humorously chronicles the lives of two men who get laid off, cannot find new jobs and are forced to become stay-at-home dads. With no future employment on the horizon, they decide to begin a daycare business, demonstrating their unconventional child care techniques.[19]
Mighty Ducks
A film not known for its stay-at-home dad message carries many undertones that meet the requirements. Gordon Bombay (Emilio Estevez)loses his job and is forced into community service, where he ends up coaching a peewee hockey team. Though not the actual father of any of the children on the team he becomes a father figure to many of the players, most notably the character Charlie Conway (Joshua Jackson). Conway's father is no longer involved in his life and his mother works full time to support them. Bombay becomes his stay-at-home dad. As he is not working (he does not get paid for coaching), he spends his time outside of coaching the team helping Charlie with the daily obstacles that occur in a young boys life. Bombay clearly cares about Charlie and spends the film shaping him into a leader and a good man. This is seen throughout the trilogy of films. Most importantly though Bombay's character displays ways in which you can still be seen as a man in society without being the breadwinner. The clearest example is through coaching and being involved in the child's athletic life. This shows examples of how a father can be the care giver without it meaning that he is home washing dishes and knitting, or whatever other stereotypical thoughts accompany being a stay-at-home dad in today's society. This is briefly touched upon in the Blue-ray commentary of the movie.[20]

Music

Lonestar
In 2004 country music group Lonestar released a song titled "Mr. Mom" which was a humorous take on the duties of a stay-at-home dad. Initially, the father was excited to live the "life of luxury," taking long naps and watching tv. He soon learns that when he is not caring for the infant by watching repeat Barney episodes and up extremely early for feedings, that he is responsible for rides to and from practices, attending the Boy Scout and PTA meetings, and also cooking dinner. By the end of his first week at home, the dad is in bed, reading classifieds in hopes of getting back to work immediately.[citation needed]

Novels

Diary of a Hapless Househusband
Published by Arrow Books Ltd. in London in August 2007, the Diary of a Hapless Househusband by Sam Holden.[21] is a comedic account of the trials of a stay-at-home dad. It has been described by Allison Pearson as "a very very funny and often touching account of one man's struggle to run Planet Home."[21] It was followed up in September 2008 by a second novel titled: Growing Pains of a Hapless Househusband.[22] which was also published by Arrow Books Ltd. As stated on his bibliographical note: "Sam Holden is the pen name of an author and journalist. He lives in Wiltshire with his wife and two children. His Hapless Househusband novels are partially based on his experience of (briefly) swapping roles with his wife."[21]
Housebroken: Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Dad
The novel, by David Eddie recounts his evolution from bachelor to stay-at-home dad.[23]
How Tough Could It Be?
This novel, written by Austin Murphy, describes his transformation from a writer for Sports Illustrated to stay-at-home dad. After his demanding career forced him to take a look at the role he was playing in his children's lives, he decided to switch jobs with his homemaker wife allowing her to pursue her career, thus making him the primary care giver for their two young children.[24]

Books

Stay-at-Home Dad's: The Essential Guide to Creating the New Family
Libby Gill takes a look at how a family should go about making use of the stay-at-home dad arrangement. The book discusses relevant issues such as finances, overcoming stereotypes, mother and father parenting styles, sexual issues, as well as tips for successful role reversal.[11]
The Daddy Shift: How Stay at Home Dads, Breadwinning Moms and Shared Parenting are Transforming the American Family
This book by Jeremy Adam Smith was published in 2009 and looks at the way the American family was changed. The book reveals how taking up the mother’s traditional role affects a father’s relationship with his partner, children, and extended family, and what stay-at-home fatherhood means for the larger society. The book explores stay-at-home dads from every part of the country, from various socioeconomic levels and different races.[25]
Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child
This book by Kyle D. Pruett was published in 2000. It examines the pivotal role a father's care has on a child's development, dismissing the notion that only mothers can be nurturers.[26]

Television

At Home Dad
At Home Dad is a Japanese terebi dorama, or sitcom, that tells the story of the Yamamuras, a typical white collar Japanese family. It spanned one series (12 episodes). The family moves into their new house next door to a family in which the husband stays home and takes care of the child and house. Shortly thereafter, Yamamura Kazuyuki, played by Hiroshi Abe, loses his job as a CM director of a major marketing firm and finds himself taking lessons from his neighbor on how to be a stay at home dad. This series may be particularly interesting to westerners because it depicts certain aspects of the social class structure and gender roles in Japan.[citation needed]
Daddio
Daddio was a short lived television series that aired in March 2000 on ABC. It chronicled the life of a stay-at-home dad, his lawyer wife, and their two kids.[11]

United States statistics

In the statistics given for each particular year, the numbers are most likely higher because they do not account for stay-at-home dads who currently divorced.[27]

2008
An estimated 140,000 married fathers worked in the home as their children's primary care givers while their wives worked outside of the home to provide for the family. This number is less then the previous two years.[27]
2007
An estimated 159,000 married fathers, remained out of the work force to be the primary caregivers for their children while their wives worked outside of the home. This makes up approximately 2.7 % of the nation's stay-at-home parents. This number basically triples the percentage from 1997, and has been consistently higher each year since 2005.[28]
2006
An estimated 143,000 married fathers remained out of the workforce for over a year caring for their families, while their wives worked outside of the home. Children cared for by stay-at-home dads in this statistic are under the age of fifteen. These stay-at-home dads were caring for approximately 245,000 children.[27]
2005
An estimated 98,000 married fathers cared for their children in the home, for over a year, while their wives worked outside of the home. Children cared for by stay-at-home dads in this statistic are under the age of fifteen. 63% had two or more children.[27]
2004
An estimated 105,000 married fathers, remained out of the workforce to be the primary caregivers for their children, while their wives were employed outside of the home. Children cared for by stay-at-home dads in this statistic are under the age of fifteen. Stay-at-home dads cared for an estimated 189,000 children.[27]

See also

References

  1. ^ a b Goode, W.J. (1963). World revolution and family patterns. New York: Free Press. p. 60.
  2. ^ Demos, J. (1970). A little commonwealth: Family life in Plymouth colony. New York: Oxford University Press. p. 24.
  3. ^ a b Gutman, H. (1983). Persistent myths about the Afro-American family. New York: St. Martin's. p. 460.
  4. ^ Jones, J. (1985). Labor of love, labor of sorrow: Black women, work and the family from slavery to the present. New York: Basic Books. p. 67.
  5. ^ a b Skolnick, A. (1991). Embattled paradise: The American family in an age of uncertainty. New York: Basic Books. p. 93.
  6. ^ a b Burgess, E. (1963). The family from institution to companionship. New York: American Book Company. p. 38.
  7. ^ Milkman, R. (1976). Women's work and the economic crisis: Some lessons from the Great Depression. p. 73.
  8. ^ Banner, L. (1984). Women in modern America: a brief history. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich. p. 77.
  9. ^ Tuttle, W. (1993). Daddy's gone to war: The Second World War in the lives of America's children. New York: Oxford University Press. p. 144.
  10. ^ Coontz, S. (2005). Marriage a history: How love conquered marriage. New York: Penguin. p. 201.
  11. ^ a b c d e f g h i j k l m n Gill, Libby (2001). Stay-At-Home Dads: The Essential Guide to Creating the New Family. New York: Penguin Group. Cite error: The named reference "Gill" was defined multiple times with different content (see the help page).
  12. ^ a b c d Benokraitis, Nijole V. Marriages & Families: Changes, Choices and Constraints. New Jersey: Pearson Educations Inc., 2008
  13. ^ "The Stay At Home Dad Oasis - Resources, Information, Connections, and Community for involved dads". AtHomeDad.org. Retrieved 2009-01-20.
  14. ^ Rhonda Rowland CNN Medical Unit (2002-04-25). "Beyond tantrum control: Stay-at-home dads face health risks". CNN. Retrieved 2009-01-20. {{cite web}}: |author= has generic name (help)
  15. ^ Horsburgh, Susan. "More men ditch the office for full-time fatherhood." People 23 June 2003: 79.
  16. ^ a b Connect For Kids
  17. ^ Tucker, Patrick. "Stay At Home Dad's." The Futurist Sept. 2005: 12-13.
  18. ^ Braiker, B., Kuchment, A., & Dy, C. (2007, October 8). Just Don't Call Me Mr. Mom. Newsweek, 150(15), 52-55. Retrieved July 28, 2009, from Academic Search Premier database.
  19. ^ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317303/
  20. ^ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104868/
  21. ^ a b c Holden, Sam (2007). Diary of a Hapless Househusband. London: Arrow Books Ltd.
  22. ^ Holden, Sam (2008). Growing Pains of a Hapless Househusband. London: Arrow Books Ltd.
  23. ^ Eddie, David (1999). Housebroken. New York: The Berkley Publishing Group.
  24. ^ Murphy, Austin (2004). How Tough Could It Be?: The Trials and Errors of a Sportswriter Turned Stay-at-Home Dad. New York: Henry Holt and Company, LLC.
  25. ^ Smith, Jeremy Adam. The Daddy Shift. Boston: Beacon Press, 2009.
  26. ^ Pruett, Kyle D. Fatherneed. Michigan: Free Press, 2000.
  27. ^ a b c d e "US Census Press Releases". Census.gov. Retrieved 2009-07-19.
  28. ^ "Stay-at-Home Dads Forge New Identities, Roles". washingtonpost.com. Retrieved 2009-07-19.
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Stay-at-home_dad&oldid=304710469"