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Promotional language a real problem here

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In writing an article for Wikipedia, you must strictly avoid any trace of promotional language. This draft article is full of it right now. Such phrase as "Amazingly, in their first season playing in the Melbourne-based competition (including some clubs from Geelong), Ballarat secured its first championship," "lead brilliantly by Hugh Rattray, who scored an astonishing 59 goals in 21 matches," "forced to endure a frustrating 24 years until their next title came along," "the famous '92 Ballarat side," "proceed to turn a young group of players into a team of stars," "a thrilling 4 - 3 win," and "had another excellent season" belong on a fansite or in a press kit, not in a reference work. --Orange Mike | Talk 14:12, 20 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

BALLARAT RED DEVILS

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There is no question that you are being very picky and over the top here. I caould show you dozens of similar pages that have a lot more words and sentences than i used that are on Wikipedia.

Anyway i have changed as you asked so this should be enough to get a proper page now.

Try and get out of the right side of the bed tomorrow!!

DuncanRduncansmith (talk) 01:23, 23 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This page requires significant updating ASAP. The teams are wrong as too is the logo. Please update. — Preceding unsigned comment added by TheSelectFew (talkcontribs) 16:05, 22 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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