Talk:Calyx krater by the artist called the Painter of the Berlin Hydria depicting an Amazonomachy
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[edit]Peer review of article: I liked your introduction paragraph, i think it gives a good summary of the vessel and leads well into the body of your article. I thin it would be helpful to convert the fractions in your dimensions into decimals for clarity, the fractions are a little distracting to read. Clarification about how the poses represent the time, and giving some more historical context for the Greeks in the 6th century would help make this article better. As would be more detail overall, like giving examples from the vessel of specific figures if possible. The only formatting thing I really have to say is that maybe the heading for your sources should be bigger, or more well defined. Eadonley172 (talk) 01:12, 6 November 2017 (UTC)
Hi Morgan -- make sure to give your article a clear title! Think of how someone might search for your article on Wikipedia in the future. Jpaga (talk) 13:58, 6 November 2017 (UTC)
Hi Morgan! This article is really great so far! I think that the main thing you might want to conciser adding is maybe a detailed list or description of what precisely is on the vase. Something like "From left to right, it depicts 3 amazons holding spears and shields attacking 3 Greek hoplites" might be really helpful for a reader who doesn't know how to parse out this type of iconography. The Beazely Archive might have a hyper-detailed description of it! I hope this helps! -Robert Yancey Rob6820 (talk) 21:34, 15 November 2017 (UTC)
Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment
[edit] This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Mblackwelder. Peer reviewers: Eadonley172.
Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 18:33, 17 January 2022 (UTC)
(More) Comments from Prof. Paga
[edit]Hi Morgan - this is a great start to your article! You've got some helpful comments from your peer-reviewer and TF, and here are a few suggestions of my own.
- Make sure to give your article a clear, concise title.
- The painter is the Painter of the Berlin Hydria (not Hydra).
- Consider adding a brief description of what's on the other side of the vase. As Robert suggested, the Beazley Archive might help you out here.
- The final section needs more explication. Consider dividing it into two sections, one focusing on representations of Amazonomachies in the 6th c. and another on them in the 5th c., since you seem to highlight that distinction in the final sentence.
- Make sure to connect your article to your group's theme of warfare. You've already started doing this, but just make sure to emphasize it even more! Expanding the final section will help with this.
Jpaga (talk) 20:06, 1 December 2017 (UTC)
Description
[edit]@Mblackwelder - I would suggest a rewriting of the second line of the description, "The figures and poses seen are representative of the time in which it was made, meaning it evokes a sense of pathos as well as shows lots of motion..." I would argue for rewriting primarily on the basis that, in my opinion, the line doesn't read too well, but also that I don't understand how any art could not be influenced by its own time. For help on writing style you can refer to the Manual of Style. Pagliaccious (talk) 13:48, 5 December 2017 (UTC)
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