Talk:Leslie Grinsell

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GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Leslie Grinsell/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 02:28, 14 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I will review this one, comments to follow. Zawed (talk) 02:28, 14 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead[edit]

  • Wikilink barrow.
  • Recite OBE in full followed by (OBE); the preamble may need to be reworded, something like "...was appointed to the Order of..."
    • Agreed and altered the prose.
  • Festschrift: follow this with an English translation of the term in brackets.
    • There isn't really an English language translation of this term; rather, English language sources use the German word. Midnightblueowl (talk) 11:51, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Early life[edit]

  • In the heading, delete the years as I think it makes it easier to read (suggestion only).
  • Link barrow, Kent, Norfolk.
  • Repeated use of "antiquarians" in last sentence of 1st para, rephrase to remove one of them.
  • Wikilink for Nicholas Thomas?
  • OK, that is fair enough. Zawed (talk) 08:24, 16 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Circa 1937...": seems jarring langauge, especially to start a sentence. Perhaps: "Around 1937..."?
  • "...although their notes for this were destroyed during a Second World War air raid before...": suggest rewording to: "... although their notes for this were later destroyed in an air raid during the Second World War before..."
  • I suggest spinning the paragraph about Egypt into its own section, perhaps with a Second World War heading or Egypt heaing. The Early life section is looking quite long. Also, there is a typo here: "...visiting al of the..."
    • Personally I'm not convinced. There just isn't enough information to expand the Egypt information into its own section. It's only a short paragraph at present and the information doesn't really seem available with which to expand it. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:38, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • I feel this would help break up the long early life section but it isn't something I'm going to insist on. Zawed (talk) 08:24, 16 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Life as a professional archaeologist[edit]

  • In the heading, delete the years (suggestion only). And shouldn't headings be title case?
    • I've capitalised the necessary wording although would personally prefer to leave the dates in; we have similar date in other GA and FA rated archaeology biographies. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:19, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oh OK, I wasn't aware of that. Zawed (talk) 08:30, 16 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...as an assistance at Victoria County History in order..."; typo (assistant) and missing word (project).
  • "...represents the high point in his combined..." for clarity as to who we are referring, add in [Grinsell] after "his".
  • "Based on his experience during this period, in 1958 he published The Archaeology of Wessex." This sentence could be rephrased as the following sentence chronologically jumps back to 1952. I suggest: He later published the book The Archaeology of Wessex, which was based on his experience during this period.
  • Something went wrong there, so I have fixed it. Zawed (talk) 08:30, 16 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Festschrift: not italicised (it is in the lead) and follow this with an English translation of the term in brackets. And who/what issued it?
    • I've italicised the word, although there is no English language translation of the term. Ashbee (who is being used as a source) doesn't give the publisher but I'll add the publisher and editors name regardless. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:13, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Legacy[edit]

  • Wikilink chalk geology.
  • Paul Ashbee is linked here but not on first mention in previous section.

Bibliography[edit]

  • et al should be in italics.
    • I've gone one better and added the names of the co-authors: John Campbell, David Elkington, Peter Fowler. Midnightblueowl (talk) 21:00, 15 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

References[edit]

  • I'm getting an error with the Ashbee ref: "|archive-url=requires |archive-date="?

Images[edit]

  • Captions are appropriate as are the image tags.

Review summary[edit]

With the issues noted above corrected, I believe that this article will meet the GA critera; it is well written with neutral tone, fully cited, organised and laidout appropriately with compliant images. Overall nice work, and an interesting subject. I enjoyed reviewing the article. Will check back in a few days. Cheers. Zawed (talk) 03:09, 14 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]

  • Looks good, passing as GA. Great work! Zawed (talk) 08:31, 16 February 2016 (UTC)[reply]