Talk:Women's education in Pakistan
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[edit] This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 28 January 2019 and 18 May 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Jeralyn1213.
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[edit] This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 25 August 2020 and 17 December 2020. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): GMcuevas. Peer reviewers: Patriciarchy.
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[edit]I added the course banner. BerikG (talk) 15:42, 19 April 2012 (UTC)BerikG
Required Peer Review
[edit]An introduction is needed, generally Wikipedia pages appear to have an introduction which I don't believe needs its own section title. Just briefly discuss the article content and intention. Gender roles in Pakistan is a good section but I would think it would do well as "causes", so if there can be more than one theory on the cause I would put Gender roles as a sub section, or if you found that this is the cause I would title the section cause and explain it as gender roles in Pakistan are the leading cause for... The article is very well written but I think more essay format than Encyclopedia format. I would suggest a cause section, as early stated, and a consequence section as well as criticism, if any. Of course it is hard to criticize the issue but many just advocating for why it is necessary, in some's view, to have gender segregation in education. Most of what is in the article can be rearranged into these categories. Like Disparity in education can be considered a consequence, as well as the statistical evidence. Just suggestions. Teashias (talk) 05:07, 23 April 2012 (UTC)
I am going to add a intro section, thanks for raising that point. But i am confused, if i divide my article in headings such as "cause", because i think, by doing so i will be committing reductionism by arguing that these particular things are causing disparity in education. On the contrary, i am just trying to state material realities of the society, and if reader wants to encode in terms of cause and effect, that's fine. Do you get what I am saying? Dkhan2012 (talk) 22:01, 24 April 2012 (UTC)Dkhan2012 (talk)
- Yes, I understand what you mean. You are trying to remain neutral.I wouldn't be sure which section would be sufficient rather than cause. It just seemed to me that some things were already stating the cause without saying it was the cause explicitly. I believe consequences would still be valid though. :) Teashias (talk) 03:42, 25 April 2012 (UTC)
Required Peer Review
[edit]Your article goes in depth into the factors of women’s education in Pakastan. As it is difficult to not maintain an opinion while writing within Wikipedia, it seems that you have been able to present a great perspective to this subject. I really thought that the statistics section was done well and helps to illustrate very well the circumstances with women and education in Pakistan Here are a list of just a few things that I would consider revising: 1. I was a bit confused by this sentence under “importance of Women’s education” and possibly could be revised. “ It is important, as well, to mobility (through access to jobs and the political process), to health and life (through the connection to bodily integrity)” 2. I think that it is ok to be redundant and I would consider writing in the sentence under “importance of Women’s education” “It (instead of "it" write education) is also crucial for women’s access to the legal system.” 3. When referring to Chaudhry in the section “economic benefits of Women’s education, I would consider writing Chaudhry instead of just writing “he” (it is a bit confusing and hard at time to follow when you refer to “he”) 4. When you state “As mentioned above” I would refer directly with “as mentioned in the section Blah Blah Blah” Brendanrow (talk) 01:39, 25 April 2012 (UTC)
Peer review
[edit]I really like the statitics section. I liked how you put it in the rural vs urban education of women and also the public vs private schools. Really well written.You could also use the capapblities approach of women and mention that how the women thorough education will be able to understand this.Also,edcuation helps women take up ownership rights which again is beneficial to her and her daughters. Otherwise I think it was very well written.Dr deshmukhe (talk) 05:29, 25 April 2012 (UTC).
Comments
[edit]The first sentence should probably be deleted ("Gender is one of the organizing principles of Pakistani society.") since this is true globally. You might rephrase it more specifically as something like "Patriarchal values heavily govern the social structure in Pakistani society."
There is a red link "human capabilities" which you could change to "capabilities" and then add a link in parentheses to the "Capabilities Approach."
Nussbaum (2003) needs vol. no. page numbers. And also you could integrate a bit more from her discussion earlier in your discussion. For example, obstacles to educating girls are probably similar in India and Pakistan.
Reference 2 needs to be checked. It is linked to an HDR on Egypt. Also, if you are referring to the HDR 2011, then add the year as well as the correct link. A nice elaboration at the outset would be to indicate how Pakistan fares in terms of the Gender Inequality Index (GII)--its rank among x # of countries and what % of women vs. men have moved past secondary education (reported in Table 4 in HDR 2011).
You could also add a bit more elaboration on Pakistan's MDG status with respect to education goals: check the MDG website for how Pakistan is doing in its path towards achieving MDG 2 and 5 (primary education and secondary education). Also any recent report there might give you additional insights or you could just complement your discussion on the imperative to educate girls. BerikG (talk) 06:51, 28 April 2012 (UTC)BerikG
Why women are not getting good education?
[edit]Lack of resources 39.46.117.149 (talk) 10:22, 9 October 2022 (UTC)
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