Template:Did you know nominations/Trudi Birger

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by MeegsC (talk) 17:40, 4 May 2021 (UTC)

DYK toolbox

Trudi Birger

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Created by NoonIcarus (talk). Self-nominated at 13:57, 31 March 2021 (UTC).

  • Article is too short as it stands (1500 bytes [of] prose is the absolute minimum). Please remove the stub tag if you expand it as DYK does not run stubs. Also, please be aware of rule D7; getting it over the minimum-length criterion by adding the 7 bytes of missing text, I'd still fail the article on that one. In its current form, it's not a proper bio but a stub. Schwede66 01:26, 9 April 2021 (UTC)
@Schwede66: Just for clarification, the requirement doesn't check byte count but rather prose character count. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 00:09, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
@Narutolovehinata5: Correct. If you look carefully, you'll see the word "prose" in my response above. If I had put the word "of" in front of it (now added), it would even be grammatically correct. Schwede66 00:48, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
@Schwede66: Hi! I originally understood too that the requirement was meant for byte count, based on the DYK Checker tool. I have expanded the article now. --NoonIcarus (talk) 23:12, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

Right. Thanks for the expansion. I've removed the incorrect capitalisation from the hook. At this point, the biggest issue is that it's not your article, but a copyvio of the DVI source (Diannaa, I'm assuming it's ok to tolerate this for a few days so that the editor can tidy this up before we do a revision deletion; if not, please advise):

  • Article says: "having had her own teeth knocked out by a Nazi guard in a concentration camp. In 1980, Trudi founded the non-profit Dental Volunteers for Israel (DVI) clinic".
  • Source says: "having had her own teeth knocked out by a Nazi guard in a concentration camp. In 1980, Trudi founded the non-profit Dental Volunteers for Israel (DVI) clinic"
  • Article says: "a full-time microbiologist and pregnant with her third child"
  • Source says: "a full-time microbiologist and pregnant with her third child"
  • Article says: "raising the necessary funds from private donations to establish and then to operate the clinic"
  • Source says: "raised the necessary funds from private donations to establish and then to operate the clinic"
  • Article says: "received the President's Award for Volunteerism. In 1991, she was named as a Worthy of Jerusalem [...] Trudi was made an Honorary Member of the Alpha Omega International Dental Fraternity in 2000"
  • Source says: "received the President’s Award for Volunteerism. In 1991, she was named a Worthy of Jerusalem. Trudi was made an Honorary Member of the Alpha Omega International Dental Fraternity in 2000"

Beyond that, I see the following problems:

  1. You need to remove the stub tag.
  2. The DVI source says that she died on her birthday, yet you have only shown the death year. Please add the date.
  3. You need to address the cleanup tag. Once dealt with, please remove the tag.
  4. Please confirm that there isn't anything in the Italian article that can be used in the English article, for which the Italian content needs to be suitably cited. Once that's done, please remove that tag.
  5. The other big issue is the writing style. Many sentences try to convey three different concepts, which makes reading and comprehending what's written difficult (that said, this poor writing style was introduced via the DVI source). Please give this a decent copy-edit, or ask somebody who could do this for you.

Once this has all been dealt with, I'd be happy to check the rest (QPQ; hook fact), but at this point it's not looking good to be honest. Schwede66 09:32, 23 April 2021 (UTC)

I have removed the copied section and will do revision deletion in a few days. Thank you for the report.— Diannaa (talk) 10:47, 23 April 2021 (UTC)

@Schwede66 and Diannaa: Hi! Thank you kindly for your observations. I have proceeded with the proposed changes regarding the copyvio issues. I also checked the article with Earwig's Copyvio Detector, but I have placed an Under construction tag given that I restored disputed content; please let me know if there are any remaining improvements to be applied. Besides that, I have removed the tags and solved the rest of the problems: the Italian version of the article is unsourced and at any rate most of its information is already in the English version. The only thing I would ask help with is to look after the writing style, given that English is not my first language and sometimes it's difficult for me to know if a style is appropriate or not. --NoonIcarus (talk) 12:11, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
I've done a little more copyright cleanup and some copy edits. It's now okay from a copyright point of view. It's ready for your review.— Diannaa (talk) 13:16, 27 April 2021 (UTC)
Nearly there. QPQ has been done. The article reads fine; the strange writing style had its source in the text that had been copied. The remaining issue is the hook, which talks about her mother (not mentioned in the article) and states that she emigrated together with her husband (which the article does not state). I suggest that there isn't anything wrong with the hook; it's the article that needs amending. Schwede66 05:32, 2 May 2021 (UTC)
@Schwede66: Ah, I just noticed. The original version of the article mentioned both, but it was copyedited to "family" to improve the copyvio issues. I have changed the text in the hook too, which probably is the easiest solution. --NoonIcarus (talk) 21:28, 2 May 2021 (UTC)
Hm, the text still does not say that her family emigrated to Israel; it only talks about her. Schwede66 21:35, 2 May 2021 (UTC)
My bad, I mistook the sentences. It seems to have been part of the text copyedited by Diannaa to solve the copyvio. Pinging @Diannaa:, would it be ok to restore "She survived the war, marrying and immigrating to Israel with her family afterwards." to reflect the content in the hook? (Italics added in paraphrasing). Another solution could be avoid mentioning her family in the hook, since its main subject is Trudi and the clinic. --NoonIcarus (talk) 21:45, 2 May 2021 (UTC)
"with her family" is okay from a copyright point of view. — Diannaa (talk) 23:52, 2 May 2021 (UTC)
Many thanks! I have restored the text to include a mention of her family now. --NoonIcarus (talk) 01:04, 3 May 2021 (UTC)
Hook facts are now contained in article and are cited. Good to go. Schwede66 03:01, 4 May 2021 (UTC)
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