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April 9[edit]

When Will Soap Operas Die[edit]

When will soap operas die? I swear One Life to Live has been showing its ugly rear for so many years now and nothing is solved. How can they still get any good viewers and good ratings? The show is boring and clearly doesn't make sense. This guy was your brother, but he was thrown in jail for years. We never told him about it. Then you find out the brother is some other guys son and that their mother was sleeping around with someone. How many people are their mothers going to sleep with? Not only that, but so many people have come back from the dead. How does that reflect reality? Soap operas need to die. I don't see how woman can watch them or anyone can watch them in that fact of the matter. I nearly died on the couch watching one episode. I'm going to make it my end mission to stop soap operas from ever appearing again. The show is called One Life to Live not One Life to Live But You Didn't Really Die on that One Life You Lived.

Thank You

Always

Cardinal Raven

71.142.208.226 (talk) 16:37, 9 April 2008 (UTC)Cardinal Raven[reply]

Being inanimate, soap operas will never die. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 212.159.16.175 (talk) 17:34, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The characters may die, but they will return later - or at least they will turn out to have a twin who suddenly appears. -- kainaw ™ 22:56, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Or who faked their death and returned to shock their friends (and fans). I don't dare watch a soap for fear of dying on the couch. You can write them yourself without watching. Soap induced boredom is a sure killer. Maybe that's what really happens to the characters. Julia Rossi (talk) 13:03, 10 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

(Oh and the only thing worse is trying to find an inspiring clip on YouTube about cutting your own hair. gah!)

What ? The Flowbee rocks ! :-) StuRat (talk) 05:59, 12 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've reached a truce with soap operas. As long as they keep to daytime TV, I'm OK. When they invade prime time, as in Dynasty (TV series), then I gripe. But seriously, fake reality TV is more of a threat, IMHO. I'd rather watch a good sit-com any day. Or I can try PBS and hope I hit one of those rare non-pledge-drive weeks. StuRat (talk) 05:59, 12 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

StuRat's Flowbee? Then you better scoot to save the locks of this guy[1] with Haley Williams dreams. Shoo now, Julia Rossi (talk) 08:46, 12 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Albion market? Brookside? Night and Day? All dead...

An apple a day keeps ... oh never mind[edit]

Is it true that the BBC brought back Doctor Who in 2005 in an attempt to tempt today’s youth into becoming doctors, due to the ever growing concerns over the NHS? —Preceding unsigned comment added by 212.159.16.175 (talk) 17:13, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I think it's fair to say "no". AtaruMoroboshi (talk) 17:35, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

How bored are you? Uncyclopedia is available for all your silliness needs, or you could write a sensible article on something silly but notable here in Wikipedia. That would probably be more entertaining. 130.88.140.107 (talk) 18:47, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

It should be rather obvious that the BBC brought back Dr. Who because the guys who watched it (and have fond memories of it) when they were 8-14 are not middle-aged and hitting that mid-live crisis where they want to re-experience all the cool stuff from their childhood. -- kainaw ™ 22:58, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I thought it was so they had a reason to be with Billie Piper all day.... A ecis^Brievenbus 00:27, 10 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Nah. The people who brought it back have always wanted to bring it back. They just had to wait until a)memories of the awful last few seasons faded and softened in the public consciousness b)the people responsible for cancelling last time left/died/changed their minds c)they were in the right positions in the business themselves to bring it back. 'The guys who watched it when they were 8-14' covers a huge proportion of the UK population, given the length of time Dr Who was on and the audiences it typically attracted. The BBC agreed to bringing it back ultimately because it looked like it could attract family audiences and sell toys. People had been moaning for years about the fading of Saturday night family entertainment, and the BBC's always up for things that sell toys. To everyone's surprise it was successful at this, and so they commissioned more :) 130.88.140.121 (talk) 16:25, 10 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I think they brought it back to tempt today's youth into becoming time traveling adventurers. APL (talk) 16:31, 11 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well from Gandalf's accidental comments on another desk, we know that time-travellers are around and visiting us. Seems reasonable. 79.66.105.94 (talk) 02:11, 14 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I need some help writing an email response[edit]

I need some help writing an email response. Yesterday I posted an add on gumtree.com in the dating and friendships section, and today I received several responses from women who are interested. I have narrowed down the list and selected my favorite, a 23 year old girl. Her message was as follows: "Hi liked ur ad - im 23 from south london. like reading, walking, playing badminton, swimming. I also love music. Looking to meet someone to chat to online at first and see how it goes from there. What are u into and what are u looking for? hope the fact im older doesnt bother u." I now have the arduous task of writing a coherent reply, a task which I fear I am incapable of doing. I understand this is an unusual request, but could anyone help me? I am only looking for some pointers, a starting point if you will, on which to build my reply. Please don't advise that I "just be myself". I've been myself for many years and it hasn't helped in courting females. Many regards, Samuel oliver bradford smith (talk) 18:42, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well for starters I'd remove her name, lest she google herself and find this post. AtaruMoroboshi (talk) 18:48, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Personal information removed--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 03:40, 10 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

The reason people say "be honest" and "be yourself" is because the relationship is doomed if you are not honest. You will hit a point at which it is revealed you were dishonest and then you have to try and repair the relationship - which rarely works well. So, if you have any interest in a relationship, be honest and be yourself. If you don't have any interest in a relationship, just tell her that your two favorite things are commitment and changing yourself. -- kainaw ™ 18:50, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I'm of several minds about the "being yourself" question. Sadly, each of us has repulsive aspects of our personality which are best concealed from prospective lovers, especially during the delicate initial phases. The Fat Man, who has, at times, achieved success in the field of Internet dating, quickly learned that attempts at an overly "honest" profile/ad and initial correspondence--where he revealed too much of his crass inner nature too soon--have not resulted in fireworks. His more successful communications have downplayed his rougher edges and emphasized his charming aspects while avoiding undue fabrication and exaggeration. Don't pretend, don't lie, but have the sense to recognize which aspects of yourself are best unadvertised. Simultaneously, work hard to improve thyself so that those less endearing qualities will diminish over time. For example, get in better physical shape; put some serious energy into your academic or professional output; make new friends; join a club or volunteer organization; get some form of counseling. The inclination to improve oneself is a most attractive quality.

Returning to your specific situation, it sounds like you're already off to a good start--after all, she contacted you! She said she liked your ad--it's your turn to tell her what interests you about her. Compliment her, make a small joke, try to bond over a common interest. Keep it simple, and don't waste time exchanging long or numerous emails. You're looking for a date, not a pen pal. Is there a cultural event in the near future that both of you would care to attend? Is there a bar/club/restaurant/cafe/neighborhood that you both like to visit? If so, be bold and ask her out. Once you meet her in person, do your best to be polite, charming and attentive; if you sense a spark, then try revealing a little more about your inner self--cautiously begin discussing your quirks/aspirations/philosophies/tastes and see if she's receptive. If not, cut your losses and move on to the next prospect. In short, be yourself--but having a selective, sanitized version of yourself is always advisable.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 04:43, 10 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

It's like every day is Groundhog Day until you start the refinement process as everyone has said so far. Being nice, interested, interesting and taking some cues from her gives you a good start. Julia Rossi (talk) 22:40, 10 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

If she doesn't have the grammatical skills or thinking capacity to add two letters to make a word, she either is stupid, or is not looking for a relationship. Save yourself some frustration, get a life, and just go to a bookstore, go to your favorite section, and ask the first girl you see out. That's how I met my wife, married 17 years. —Preceding unsigned comment added by BioYu-Gi! (talk • contribs) 17:49, 11 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

That's not nice. In many parts of the world, there are very intelligent English speakers who nonetheless communicate extremely informally via email and text messages--particularly young people. Omitting punctuation and using abbreviations is not a sign of stupidity; we're not talking about a business letter or an academic treatise; I thought she sounded like a nice girl.--The Fat Man Who Never Came Back (talk) 18:21, 11 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I'm wondering BioYu-Gi!, if you were unaware of how your judgement looked onscreen? Julia Rossi (talk) 03:11, 12 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

What is that supposed to mean? Are you insinuating my generation is somehow inferior to yours? BioYu-Gi! (talk) 15:42, 15 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

who said these[edit]

who said:

1)"Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal"? —Preceding unsigned comment added by 212.159.16.175 (talk) 19:02, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

2)" If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment."?

1-Demetri Martin, 2-Dave Allen. -- kainaw ™ 19:11, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]