This article is about the Weird Al Yankovic song. For the track of the same name by the British musician Thomas Dolby, see
Thomas Dolby.
"Close But No Cigar" is a song by "Weird Al" Yankovic, released on his album Straight Outta Lynwood. A style parody of the band Cake, the song recounts the narrator's relationships with three attractive and near-ideal women, each of which ends when he perceives a minor flaw in her character or appearance. He dumps each one for her slight imperfection with the catchphrase, "close, but no cigar." The narrator never explains why he himself might deserve or personally equal the standards of which he applies to them.
A music video was released on Straight Outta Lynwood's DualDisc, created by The Ren and Stimpy Show creator John Kricfalusi & Katie Rice.
The song's lyrics describe three women: Jillian, who was "sweeter than aspartame", but who always incorrectly used the word infer in place of imply; Janet, with a "body hotter than a habanero", but who owned a copy of Joe Dirt on DVD; and Julie, a "world famous billionaire bikini supermodel astrophysicist" who had an earlobe that was "...just a little tiny bit too big". Every time the narrator leaves one of the women, he contrasts their relationship with an activity that presumably doesn't need complete accuracy: horseshoes, hand grenades, and government work. Yankovic was inspired to write the song based on a friend of his, who displayed similar tendencies when dating others and generally breaking off the relationship after finding nitpicks that other people would commonly overlook.[1]
The song is muscially a style parody of Cake.[1] Yankovic and Cake's lead singer, John McCrea, are close friends, and Yankovic thought it would be "fun" to create a song in "distinct style".[1] Cake typically uses the vibraslap, electric country guitar, a single trumpet, and syncopated, almost spoken, lyrics. Yankovic borrows much of the music from a selection of Cake's songs, mostly from the album Comfort Eagle:
- "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" contributed the end chorus (most notably the backing "Nah Nah Nah" part). The lyrical theme for "Close But No Cigar" is also very similar.
- "Opera Singer" contributed the guitar part.
- "Love You Madly" contributed the bass line and the backing trumpet solo.
- The song ends with unaccompanied horn and guitar as in "Sheep Go to Heaven" from Prolonging the Magic.
[edit] Music video
John Kricfalusi directed this video for Weird Al. Cigarettes the Cat from John's cartoon Weekend Pussy Hunt played a big role in the video, similar to how John's character Jimmy the Idiot Boy played a major role in the music video John made for Björk's song "I Miss You." Katie Rice lent a hand by drawing and animating the girls and the cats in the crowd sequence. Kricfalusi, an animation historian, included a sequence that includes some caricatures of both Tweety Bird and Mickey Mouse. Kricfalusi included his signature gross out humor in sequences featuring a female's nude buttocks in a bathtub, Charlize Theron transforming into "a big, fat slobbering pig" and blowing up, Cigarettes eating Julie's face and, concluding the video, Cigarettes urinating in a very unclean urinal.
The video features Cigarettes seeing Jillian in her window; abeit her being still naked. He falls in love with her so much that he grabs out a squirrel's intestines to make a necklace. However, he is annoyed by how she uses "infer" instead of "imply". As he shouts the chorus, Jillian shrinks and gets eaten by Cigarettes. He then finds Janet and falls in love with her. He goes crazy for her that he starts stabbing Tweety Bird and Mickey Mouse. However, he quickly dumps and eats her after learning "she actually owned a copy of Joe Dirt on DVD". He now quickly finds Julie and is head over heels for her. Suddenly, Cigarettes finds her big earlobe and shouts the chorus at her. She doesn't shrink however, but Cigarettes winds up eating her face. The video ends with Cigarettes urinating in a very unclean urinal.
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