Talk:Funso Ojo
Funso Ojo has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: August 21, 2023. (Reviewed version). |
A fact from Funso Ojo appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 14 September 2023 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
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Spelling of subject's name
[edit]The article was created at Funso Ojo, but within the article the creator spelt his first name correctly (Sources: player's page on PSV website, Voetbal International profile) as Funsu. Since then someone changed the spellings within the article to agree with the page name (diff). I'm going to restore the correct spelling within the article and move it to Funsu Ojo where it belongs. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 15:36, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- On second thoughts, no I'm not, not yet anyway. Even the reliable sources are inconsistent. Anybody else got an opinion? cheers, Struway2 (talk) 15:40, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
- I concur :P --EchetusXe 12:14, 30 June 2022 (UTC)
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Funso Ojo/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 01:53, 15 August 2023 (UTC)
Hey! Will review within a week. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 01:53, 15 August 2023 (UTC)
- There we are! I have left my comments below. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 20:18, 16 August 2023 (UTC)
- @EchetusXe: Sorry for the wait, I became unexpectedly busy recently. Reference formatting is not part of the GA criteria so I can pass this article but remember to change the Google Translate URLs to their originals. Other than that, I am very happy with the changes (especially to § personal life) and can now confidently pass this article for GA status. Congrats! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 23:48, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
Copyvio check
[edit]Earwig says good to go.
Prose
[edit]- The apostrophes are probably not needed for Green Football Weekend.
- Do we have any sources saying how he got into football? If joining PSV Eindhoven was his introduction, do the sources say who convinced him to go, if he wanted to go himself etc.? Would be interesting.
- In the first paragraph of § Club career, 'he' is used quite a lot successively. Interchange between using Ojo and 'he' here like the rest of the article.
- Would the sentence starting "He had previously come through the youth ranks" not make more sense at the start of § Club career? Also:
- Yeah that is confusing and I've tried to clear that up now.--EchetusXe 14:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
- You used 15 last time; either both or neither should be written, for consistency.
- I would split "and became a free agent" into its own sentence, i.e. "with new manager Jacky Mathijssen. Ojo became a free agent" – this reads less jaggedly IMO.
- Is the hyphen necessary in "youth-team"?
- "He underwent ankle surgery" – recommend using Ojo here.
- "Ojo believed" – recommend using he here
- "Scunthorpe disputed whether Ojo could do this" – how come?
- I've rewrote that.--EchetusXe 14:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
- Looks good! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 19:29, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
- I've rewrote that.--EchetusXe 14:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
- "in the region of £125,000" – recommend "around £125,000" for formality.
- "footballing reasons" is quite vague; did McInnes specify upon this at all or not really?
- I've rewrote that.--EchetusXe 14:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
- Nice work. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 19:29, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
- I've rewrote that.--EchetusXe 14:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
- "He played 16 Scottish Premiership" – should be Ojo here as someone else was mentioned last.
- I would probably wikilink hamstring for unfamiliar readers.
- Change "Boxing day" to 26 December for non-European readers. Also, I do not think the holiday itself is relevant here.
- "Vale Park on 24 January" – change to 24 January 2023. Also:
- he is used successively about six times in this paragraph.
Lastly:
- § Early and personal life is a bit awkward to me since it consists largely of personal life content, which is usually at the bottom of biographies. Hmm, is it possible to merge his birth into § Club career and the rest into a new § Personal life-type section at the bottom of the article merged with § Style of play (as this section is also short but career relevant to the not guilty plea?). If it looks bad than ignore this suggestion! I mainly find it strange that the article opens up with a not guilty plea related to his football career before the reader can read about his actual career. Alternatively, could the plea sentence be merged into § Aberdeen?
- Okay sure, I've moved and split up the early and personal life section.--EchetusXe 14:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
- Great! ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 19:29, 21 August 2023 (UTC)
- Okay sure, I've moved and split up the early and personal life section.--EchetusXe 14:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
Refs
[edit]Passes spotcheck on refs 5, 8, 21, 22, 33, 42 and 54. Nice work!
- Ref 1 appears to be a dead URL
- There are numerous Google Translate links when they should be the originals
Other
[edit]- Recommend adding template:use X English (optional)
- Thank you!.--EchetusXe 14:23, 17 August 2023 (UTC)
Did you know nomination
[edit]- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Vaticidalprophet (talk) 04:30, 9 September 2023 (UTC)
- ... that Belgian footballer Funso Ojo (pictured) was named as Port Vale's PFA Community Player of the Year after saving more than 500kg of CO2 emissions from lifestyle changes and a switch to a plant-based diet? Source: "our PFA Community Player of the Year for the 2022/23 season following his inspiring approach to going green and finding ways to be kinder to the planet through PVFC Foundation’s relationship with nationwide campaign ‘Planet League’.""Ojo has clocked up more than 260 activities that Green Football Weekend organisers say could amount to more than 500kg CO2e saved - roughly the same as a return flight from London to Cairo".
Improved to Good Article status by EchetusXe (talk). Self-nominated at 07:45, 22 August 2023 (UTC). Post-promotion hook changes for this nom will be logged at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Funso Ojo; consider watching this nomination, if it is successful, until the hook appears on the Main Page.
General: Article is new enough and long enough |
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Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems |
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Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation |
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Image: Image is freely licensed, used in the article, and clear at 100px. |
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QPQ: Done. |
Overall: The article has just gained GA status; the hook is definitely interesting, and both its halves are correctly cited; your QPQ submission looks good. I'm only worried about the hook's length, which is very close to the 200-character limit... Also, I think you should specify that this happened in 2023. Still, it's a nice entry! Oltrepier (talk) 09:11, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
- I'm happy for any suggestions on how to condense the hook.EchetusXe 12:19, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
- @EchetusXe: I would suggest to remove "Belgian footballer" (I don't think it's necessary here), and maybe re-word the last part as a more generic reference to environmentally friendly activities. Does it sound good? Oltrepier (talk) 13:55, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
- How about alt1 ... that Funso Ojo (pictured) was named as Port Vale Football Club's PFA Community Player of the Year in 2023 for his efforts at becoming more environmentally friendly.?
- @EchetusXe: That's better! "Port Vale" was fine as it was, though... Plus, "in 2023" might look better if placed right after the starting "that". Oltrepier (talk) 19:20, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
- How about alt2 ... that in 2023, footballer Funso Ojo (pictured) was named as Port Vale's PFA Community Player of the Year for his efforts at becoming more environmentally friendly? EchetusXe 19:48, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
- @EchetusXe: That's better! "Port Vale" was fine as it was, though... Plus, "in 2023" might look better if placed right after the starting "that". Oltrepier (talk) 19:20, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
- How about alt1 ... that Funso Ojo (pictured) was named as Port Vale Football Club's PFA Community Player of the Year in 2023 for his efforts at becoming more environmentally friendly.?
- @EchetusXe: I would suggest to remove "Belgian footballer" (I don't think it's necessary here), and maybe re-word the last part as a more generic reference to environmentally friendly activities. Does it sound good? Oltrepier (talk) 13:55, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
- Perfect, thank you.EchetusXe 20:15, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
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