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Eric the Actor

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This article is about the Wack Pack member. For the poker player, see Eric Lynch.
Eric Lynch
File:Eric the Midget.gif
Wack Packer Eric "The Midget" Lynch.
Born (1975-03-11) March 11, 1975 (age 49)
Rodeo, California
Occupation(s)Actor, Radio personality
Websitemyspace.com/erictheactorlynch

Eric Lynch (born March 11, 1975), better known as Eric the Midget Or Ungrateful Rat Bastard Midget, is a frequent caller of The Howard Stern Show. He is a popular, albeit reluctant, member of The Wack Pack. Lynch's small lungs often prevent him from completing a sentence or speaking long words without pausing to take a breath. Lynch suffers from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a disease of the connective tissue and states that he has outlived every doctor's life expectancy.[1] Lynch is 3 ft 5 in (1.04 m) tall and weighs [undue weight? – discuss]. He uses a motorized wheelchair to get around.[2] A self-styled "expert" on American Idol, Lynch is known for his fandom of the show, specifically winners Kelly Clarkson, and Carrie Underwood, as well as runner-ups Diana DeGarmo and Katharine McPhee. Lynch has repeatedly asked Howard Stern to use his influence to get him dates with Clarkson or Underwood, despite the fact that Stern has only a limited relationship with the show and its cast.

Stern did however once help Lynch land a guest starring role on one of his favorite television shows, American Dreams. Lynch was prodded on the Stern Show for expressing only limited gratitude for the favor at first. Because of the guest role, Lynch is known, by his own request, as "Eric the Actor," although he is rarely referred to as such. This is because he finds the word "midget" offensive to a "little person", equating it to referring to an African American as a "nigger".[3] He was also for a brief time jokingly referred to as "Eric the Astronaut," because he is as much of an astronaut as he is an actor. Lynch has countered this nickname with "Eric the Idol Expert".

In 2007, Lynch was listed at #3 on Something Awful's Big Ten List of Little People, finishing ahead of such notable little persons as Verne Troyer and Jason Acuña.[4]

Pre-Stern show and Initial appearances

Lynch was born and raised in Rodeo, California, where he went to school with future Green Day members Billie Joe Armstrong and Mike Dirnt. Lynch attended high school at John Swett High School, graduating in 1994.[5] While in his late 20's, Lynch moved to his own apartment in Sacramento, California with a roommate he calls "Crazy Jay". Lynch initially called in on September 19, 2002 to discuss American Idol[2]. Lynch had called to respond to Stern's statements that Kelly Clarkson[6] was not overly attractive[2]. Stern initially talked to Lynch with mild enthusiasm, but after an extended discussion regarding Lynch's unique voice and speaking style Lynch revealed that he was 3 ft 5 in (1.04 m) tall, which piqued Stern's interest and led to further discussion[2].

Memorable Stern Show moments

His own Sirius show and subsequent feud

After many back and forth negotiations, Lynch performed a tryout American Idol recap show on Sirius. The show aired on March 82006 and featured Brian Dunkleman, a former co-host of American Idol as a guest. Dunkleman usurped control from Lynch early in the show and began acting as the show's host. Some highlights of the show included Richard Christy calling in and asking, "How big is your midget cock?", and a phony Leslie Moonves congratulating Lynch on a great show. Afterwards, Lynch expressed that he felt "set up" due to the quantity of negative calls put through to his show and blamed segment producer Will Murray for this and vowed to never call in to the Stern Show again. Stern and his fans were skeptical, however, because Lynch's final message was "Bye for no-GOODBYE".

On April 62006 Howard Stern noted that Lynch had been sending emails to the show discussing American Idol, but Stern wouldn't read them on the air due to Lynch's self-imposed ban. Lynch was interviewed by the Howard 100 News during the Stern Show's April 2006 vacation and stated that he would only return to the show if Will Murray is fired.[7]

Lynch called in to the Stern Show on May 10, 2006 to make a plea to be included on the show without being called a "midget", having his voice made fun of, or being associated with the Wack Pack. Lynch no longer demanded that Murray be fired, as Murray had since apologized to him. Lynch also asked to be a West Coast correspondent for Howard 100 News. Stern deduced that the real reason for the call was to get tickets to the American Idol finale and teased Lynch by suggesting that Gary the Retard should cover the event instead, as he is a real "Wack Packer".[8]

In May 2006, Lynch began calling the show with increasing frequency, despite none of his demands being met. It was during this time that Lynch coined his trademark sign off of "Bye for now", which is greeted with chuckles from the Stern staff at the end of each phone call. During that same period, Lynch called the show to turn down an offer from adult film star Tabitha Stevens to have sex with her.[9][10]


Lynch's inches, Wackipedia, and Katherine McPhee

On May 22, 2006, Lynch called the Stern Show and measured his penis in exchange for American Idol contestant Katharine McPhee's phone number. Lynch claimed to measure at just over five inches, and was given McPhee's phone number off air. Lynch was also insulted by "Derek the Midget" voiced by Howard 100 News Staffer Shuli, as well as a frequently played bit by Sal and Richard featuring a fanciful sexual encounter between Lynch and Tabitha Stevens.[11]

McPhee reportedly hates the Stern show now because Lynch had called her too many times, according to Howard Stern, who told Lynch this news during the January 31, 2007, show. (Lynch claimed he only called her three times.)[citation needed]

As a result, McPhee refused to record a message for either the Stern show or Lynch when she visited Sirius headquarters on January 30, 2007, according to Howard 100 News.

On June 5, 2006, Lynch called the Stern Show and complained that his parents had read about him measuring his penis on Wikipedia (which he called "Wackipedia") in the article on The Wack Pack. Stern read a paragraph of the article, regarding penis measuring, verbatim on the air. Also, Stern Show producer Gary Dell'Abate commented on the air he and the Stern Show staff enjoy the picture of Lynch in the article. Flustered, Lynch refused to perform any strange tasks to meet Katharine McPhee, including urinating or defecating in a diaper, inserting a ruler or a Sirius satellite receiver into his rectum, submitting to a proctological exam, wearing Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf's old bunny outfit, being vomited on by Richard Christy, being flushed down a toilet, being sent in the mail or holding seven-hundred and fifty helium balloons to see if he would fly (via cluster ballooning).[12]

An individual flying via cluster ballooning. Photo by omnibus

Balloon stunt

On June 6, 2006, Lynch agreed to sit in a lawn chair while he was lifted up by balloons.[13] Stern told Lynch that either he attach the balloons to his body (not a chair) or he would not be able to meet Katharine McPhee.[14] Stern then noted that perhaps Lynch would be hit by lightning, which could result in the merging of Lynch and the balloon, creating a new superhero, Balloon! [15]

On the next day, Lynch backed out due to new bits being played about him which he found insulting, including a song parody, "Fly Me with Balloons" (to the tune of "Fly Me to the Moon", sung by Sal The Stockbroker with a digital "midget" voice effect) and a prank phone call using recordings of Lynch's voice to a balloon shop. When Stern said one of the bits was great, Lynch responded, "That was not great you big-nosed retard!"[16]

Lynch has continued to call in and be put on the air regularly since his feud fizzled out in May 2006. On June 7, 2006, Stern commented that Lynch might be the "King of the Wack Pack".[17]

On June 7, 2006, Howard Stern played a voice mail message on the air indicating that Lynch is "at war" (see His own Sirius show and subsequent feud above) with Stern yet again, due to the constant mockery he had endured on the air recently. Lynch threatened to call Katharine McPhee to warn her not to do the Stern Show. Stern expressed his belief that Lynch will be back and will perform the balloon stunt.[18]

After not calling in for perhaps a handful of days during one of his feuds, Lynch began calling several shows on Howard 100 and Howard 101. In the week beginning with June 18, 2006, Lynch called The Intern Show, Superfan Roundtable and The Friday Show in addition to the Stern Show. He had expressed concern over whether the Little People of America would accept him if he was to perform the "balloon stunt" or a similar stunt. On June 26, 2006 Lynch called the Stern Show, angered by Stern's calm assurance that Lynch would perform the stunt.[19][20]

On May 14, 2007, when Jimmy Kimmel was a guest on the Stern show, he told Eric he could get him in to the American Idol finale, if Eric would do the balloon stunt on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Eric agreed to the deal, but some of the Stern show cast seemed skeptical, and didn't trust him.[21] The following Tuesday it was announced Eric had emailed Jimmy Kimmel Live saying he was unable to follow through with this promise because his handler could not get off work. It was speculated he was afraid to fly with balloons and caused many to want Eric banned from the show, and even from listening to Sirius by canceling his subscription.

Footnotes and References

  1. ^ http://www.howardstern.com/rundown.hs?d=1140757200
  2. ^ a b c d Mercer, Mark (2002-09-20). "Goofing On Rosie O'Donnell And Eric The Midget. 9/19/02. 7:55am". Howard Stern Show News Archives. Mark's Friggin. Retrieved 2007-04-12. {{cite news}}: Check date values in: |date= (help); Cite has empty unknown parameter: |coauthors= (help)
  3. ^ This has also led to Artie Lange of the Stern Show to refer to Lynch as "Eric the Freakishly small actor", which Lynch considered equally offensive.
  4. ^ Zack Parsons (2007-03-19). "The Big Ten List of Little People". SomethingAwful.com. Retrieved 2007-03-22.
  5. ^ In high school Lynch also garnered the nickname of Speed Racer from his speeding through the hallways in his electric wheelchair.[citation needed]
  6. ^ Clarkson was a contestant on the current season of American Idol
  7. ^ Kaplan, Jason (2006-04-06). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05. {{cite web}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  8. ^ Kaplan, Jason (2006-05-10). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05. {{cite web}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  9. ^ Kaplan, Jason (2006-05-17). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05. {{cite web}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  10. ^ "Daily Highlights/News Archives For the week of 05/15/2006 to 05/19/2006". 2006-12-18 18:57:45. Retrieved 2007-02-05. {{cite web}}: Check date values in: |date= (help)
  11. ^ Kaplan, Jason (2006-05-22). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05. {{cite web}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  12. ^ Kaplan, Jason (2006-06-05). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05. {{cite web}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  13. ^ Stern mentions the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson as inspiring the idea, although it may also be inspired by lawnchair Larry
  14. ^ This has led to Lynch being called balloon boy on numerous occasions.
  15. ^ Kaplan, Jason (2006-06-06). "The Rundown". Retrieved 2007-02-05. {{cite web}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  16. ^ Kaplan, Jason (2006-06-07). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05. {{cite web}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  17. ^ Kaplan, Jason (2006-06-07). "The Rundown". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05. {{cite web}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  18. ^ Mark Mercer (2006-06-07). "Eric the Midget Angry Again". MarksFriggin.com. Retrieved 2007-03-22.
  19. ^ Kaplan, Jason (2006-06-26). "Staying Put on the Ground". HowardStern.com. Retrieved 2007-02-05. {{cite web}}: Unknown parameter |coauthors= ignored (|author= suggested) (help)
  20. ^ Mark Mercer (2006-06-26). "Eric the Midget Calls in, Hangs up on "Stern"". MarksFriggin.com. Retrieved 2007-03-22.
  21. ^ http://www.marksfriggin.com/news.htm#mon

See also

External links

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