Talk:Aisha
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This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Aisha article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
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Aisha and Weight of this article
Who is Aisha, what is notable about her? In the world when you google the name. In the books about Islam? So how is the bulk of the article talking not about historical Aisha but something to do with her age of marriage. It is undue weight. It is mentioned once and that is that. I dont know how modern Western opinion of ancient societies is so relevant to this article. Makes no difference what they think, and there is an article for that also.--Halqh حَلَقَة הלכהሐላቃህ (talk) 18:05, 1 December 2011 (UTC)
Age at marriage
The phrasing in the "Age at marriage" section has been extensively discussed over the years. The second line is sourced perfectly well, and clarifies why critics of Muhammad take up this issue. The recent edit also added material about the Universal Declaration of Human Rights that I doubt is actually in the source cited, so it had to be removed.Cúchullain t/c 13:48, 2 December 2011 (UTC)
Human Tradition's Project comments
You have done a great job expanding the existing article into in in-depth look at the life of Aisha after Muhammad. The organization of the article is good and helpful for the reader. The section on Aisha's major contributions was well-developed and had a lot of interesting information. Although I would not change much to the article, combining the sections about the Caliphs might be beneficial, otherwise the article is coming along nicely, great work!--Bissonar (talk) 16:15, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
Your article is coming along good. The one thing I did notice is that quite of few of your links don't go to existing pages. That would be a good thing to fix. Also the section Battle of Bassorah needs some more information, but I'm sure that y'all are still working on it. Nice job otherwise.--LittleDuck17 (talk) 20:13, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
This article shows that you've done some good research. However, the information in this section has not yet been organized as clearly as it should be. There seems to be some overlap in information covered in different sections. For example, "Important Contributions to Islam and Her Paradigm to Women" (which is an unclear and confusing title) discusses Aisha's influence on politics and people, both of which are topics covered by other sections. There are other examples of overlap as well. My main suggestion at this stage is to clarify the kinds of information that should be included in each section. --Jdenbow (talk) 20:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
After reading your article I feel that it is well written and is interesting, but some of your information overlaps and you guys should try to figure out a way to clear this up and make it flow better. I also think how you have your title on the bottom of the human traditions page is confusing but maybe that is just me.--Swalrus007 (talk) 00:05, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
Everything looks awesome! You all have obviously done a great deal of research for this article and it definitely shows. The only criticism I have is to explain the act of veiling in the introduction of your section, just so others who are not familiar with Islamic traditions understand the impact of the act. Great job! --Eamodeo (talk) 01:23, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
I'm no expert on Aisha, but it seems like you guys have broken down her life into relevant categories and they all looked developed! Great job Kbeisaw (talk) 19:21, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
Good job! There is quite a lot of information. The information doesn't flow in some areas, as some people mentioned the overlapping. Other than that though you guys did great! --Kayla hope (talk) 02:19, 8 December 2011 (UTC)
This is looking great. It's very detailed and easy to read. My only suggestion is to break up the large sections into smaller subsections. I think it might help find where the info is overlapping.Lbeaulieu1 (talk) 19:24, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
You have done a good job with adding thorough information onto an already existing article--Bpio075 (talk) 01:54, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
Lots of interesting information. I think it's good that you provide lots of links to other pages. --Kerri grant (talk) 05:16, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
Thanks everyone for the comments regarding our article. Your input and thoughts are being taken into account and they are extremely helpful. Links in blue are linked to existing articles, but the few red links are links that do not have existing articles regarding them but we kept them linked to reveal their importance. We are beginning to fix the overlapping information, so let us know how it is coming! Thanks! --Kireland1 (talk) 17:01, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
Nice reorganization. Be sure to add a conclusion to the article and edit your entry for clarity. --Jdenbow (talk) 19:59, 8 December 2011 (UTC)
Group 3 Discussion
Hey guys, I moved around the sections of our article to what we talked about after class today. What I feel we need to work most on is overlapping issues. Aisha's contributions to Islam and her influence on the Islamic people need to collaborate and try to avoid overlapping which is something I am currently trying to work on. Also, throughout out article, the Battle of Bassorah is mentioned more than once and acting like a overlapping issue. We need to maybe try to combine these sections or exclude duplicate information!! --Kireland1 (talk) 23:51, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
Hey guys, so I combined mine and Nick's sections and intertwined them so overlapping didn't occur so much. I actually figured out how to correctly insert references so now the same reference used more than once has the same number rather than multiple numbers. Also, since I have completed my section and just working on minor edits now I can begin to help you guys with your references. Also, it is probably ideal to create a little conclusion within each of your sections, even if it's just a sentence or two wrapping everything up! --Kireland1 (talk) 22:55, 7 December 2011 (UTC)
Thanks. I did my best trying to shape the section about political influence to decrease the "overlap." Though, I still don't consider it to be overlap, since it is an analysis of events, not technically the history. --Klabbe21 (talk) 01:50, 8 December 2011 (UTC)
Hey, so I think I am going to combine the caliphate history and then create sub sections for each caliph. As for the Battle of Bessorha, Katie I wouldn't take to much out because your section consisted of her role. I will go back and thin out the section a little for the battle.--Lnickerson1 (talk) 14:31, 8 December 2011 (UTC)
Also group, I would add in a little sentence or 2 in the major introduction of Aisha at the very top just to introduce the topic of what is in the article. --Lnickerson1 (talk) 14:38, 8 December 2011 (UTC)
Hey Guys, I think you did really well on editing and organizing the article. It looks really good, is easy to read and fallow, but yet is still scholarly and knowledgeable. Over all great job!--Kcollins11 (talk) 13:50, 8 December 2011 (UTC)
Hey guys, so I have added a few sentences to the introduction of the article at the very beginning. We all just should review the introduction and make necessary changes. Also, we should start to put together a conclusion at the very end of our article to wrap everything up regarding Aisha. Keep up the good work, almost done!! --Kireland1 (talk) 01:41, 9 December 2011 (UTC)
I am going to add in a basic conclusion. I went through and tried to correct some mistakes of spelling and grammar. Shelby-I bolded some things that didn't make complete sense. 1)Since Abu Bakr being involved in the conversion to Islam, he and the prophet developed a close relationship. (work on sentence structure) Also I was not sure about what you had before like what you meant by it. I believed you were talking about the relationship between Bakr and Muhammad. Just double check on grammar, and sentence structure, but I believe it should be okay for the most part. Good job! Nick and Kailee- Just make sure you guys add a few more links to your sections of the important words. Kailee I talked to you today about this, but just wanted to mention it again. Next, when you discuss in the intro. about how Aisha and Hafsa were associated with Abu bakr and Umar maybe just mention something really basic about there relationships like how Abu Bakr was Aisha's father and how Umar was related. In the 2nd paragraph I became sort of confused about the wording , it could just be the Islamic words that are confusing to me too. 3)the sentence on "It was for that reason that Muslim feminists are advocating to return Islam to the envisioned society Muhammad had for his followers" - is this past or dealing with the present? 4) What was the book that became the official history of Islam (4th paragraph)? Looking really good, and it flows a lot better and the information does not overlap either. Good Job! Katie- Good job, I didn't find many issues content wise. I am going to tak out the"This battle was named for the camel Aisha rode during the conflict. On the camel Aisha directed her fighting men. Maybe instead you can put in something like "In the battle of the Camel Aisha exuberated her role as a commander by directing her men into battle and inspiring them to fight for the death of Uthman." Then continue on discussing how Ali realized Aisha's power/influence on others (What you already wrote). Other than that good job!--Lnickerson1 (talk) 04:50, 9 December 2011 (UTC) Katie-
Sounds good, I am currently working on editing my section. I linked a few more important words this afternoon and will link some more important words. Also, I have began editing the few minor edits you have mentioned. Trying to create more clarity throughout the section. I think our introduction at the very beginning of the article is easily understandable and seems in good shape. Need to make a few minor edits throughout and we will be all set. Lauren, I will read through your section to see what needs to be edited. Everything is coming alone very nicely! --Kireland1 (talk) 05:06, 9 December 2011 (UTC)
Awesome! sounds good, I bolded where either I edited (aka the part about the battle of the camel part. The other bolded sentences is some stuff I am having trouble with clarity. I made a few minor edits in like adding "s" to ends of words or just minor word placement edits. --Lnickerson1 (talk) 05:16, 9 December 2011 (UTC)
Fixed the few things you mentioned. I reviewed the paragraph with the multiple Islamic words, which is confusing to you merely because of the words. I tried to make it easier to understand. Also, within the fourth paragraph, Aisha just added to the history of Islam, it wasn't an actual book, unless you are referring to the Hadith or Quaran. Other than that, that paragraph is fine, I reviewed it closely. I will fix those bolded words and then I believe the contributions section is completed. I will leave a comment regarding your section and then I believe we are done. I will once again review the entire article tomorrow afternoon and make any last minute edits. --Kireland1 (talk) 05:24, 9 December 2011 (UTC)
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