Attachment parenting

Attachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences. Sensitive and emotionally available parenting helps the child to form a secure attachment style which fosters a child's socio-emotional development and well-being. In extreme and rare conditions, the child may not form an attachment at all and may suffer from reactive attachment disorder. Principles of attachment parenting aim to increase development of a child's secure attachment and decrease insecure attachment.

When mothers are taught to increase their sensitivity to an infant's needs and signals, this increases the development of the child's attachment security. Sears's specific techniques of attachment parenting remain under study.

History

Attachment theory, originally proposed by John Bowlby, states that the infant has a tendency to seek closeness to another person and feel secure when that person is present. Bowlby had earlier proposed in his maternal deprivation hypothesis published in 1951 that maternal deprivation would not only cause depression in children, but also acute conflict and hostility, decreasing their ability to form healthy relationships in adult life.

Sigmund Freud proposed that attachment was a consequence of the need to satisfy various drives. According to attachment theory, children attach to parents because they are social beings for whom such relationship is natural and intrinsic, not only because they need other people to satisfy drives.

In the 1970s James Prescott carried out research into primate child-mother bonding and noted a clear link between disruption of the child-mother bonding process and the emergence of violence and fear-based behaviour in the young primates. Unable to conduct the same research on human subjects, he then carried out a number of cross cultural studies of all known first contact observations of Aboriginal Societies. He found he could accurately predict the emergence of violence and hierarchical power in any given society, based on the treatment of mothers and children.

Developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth devised a procedure, called The Strange Situation, to observe attachment relationships between a human caregiver and child. She observed disruptions to the parent/child attachment over a 20 minute period, and noted that this affected the child's exploration and behavior toward the mother. This operationalization of attachment has recently come under question, as it may not be a valid measure for infants that do not experience distress upon initial encounter with a stranger.

According to Attachment Parenting International (API) there are 8 principles that foster healthy (secure) attachment between the caretaker and infant. While none of these principles is derived directly from original attachment research, they are presented as parenting practices that can lead to "attunement", "consistent and sensitive responsiveness" and "physical and emotional availability" that research has found to be key factors in secure attachment.

API's Eight Principles of Parenting

Per Sears' theory of attachment parenting (AP), proponents such as Attachment Parenting International (API) attempt to foster a secure bond with their children by promoting API's eight principles of parenting which are identified as goals for parents to strive for:

1. Preparation for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting
2. Feed with Love and Respect
3. Respond with Sensitivity
4. Use Nurturing Touch
5. Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
6. Provide Consistent Loving Care
7. Practice Positive Discipline
8. Strive for Balance in Personal and Family Life

API's Eight Principles of Parenting, Copyright Attachment Parenting International, Printed with Permission

These values are interpreted in a variety of ways. Many attachment parents also choose to live a natural family living (NFL) lifestyle, such as natural childbirth, home birth, stay-at-home parenting, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling, unschooling, the anti-circumcision movement, natural health, cooperative movements, paleolithic lifestyle, naturism and support of organic and local foods.

However, Sears does not require a parent to strictly follow any set of rules, instead encouraging parents to be creative in responding to their child's needs. Attachment parenting, outside the guise of Sears, focuses on responses that support secure attachments.

Childcare

Attachment parenting proponents value secure attachment between children and a primary caregiver, preferably a parent or guardian. Secure primary or secondary attachments may also be formed with other caregiving adults and should be supported by the parents.

From the biological point of view, caregiver and infant have evolved a coordinated relationship in which the infant seeks to maintain proximity to the carer who responds to its overtures and signals of distress or fear and provides a secure base for exploration. The type of attachment formed by the infant and child is influential in the formation of the internal working model and thus the child's functioning throughout life. The secure attachment, formed when a carer is appropriately sensitive to the child's emotional and biological needs, is the norm.

Even when engaging non-parental caregivers, Attachment Parents strive to maintain healthy, secure attachments with their children. AP-friendly childcare is a continuation of the nurturing care given by the parents and focuses on meeting the child's needs. Attachment Parents typically work to make caregiving arrangements that are sensitive to the child while balancing their own needs as well.

While in childcare, children may suffer injuries or traumatic experiences, and this may affect their attachment to the parent. An 'attachment injury' may form if an AP is not present for a traumatic or severely physically painful event in the child's life, or the AP does not partake in the primary attachment recovery process (which takes place immediately after the injury until the child is no longer in pain). Attachment injuries can greatly increase the likelihood of an insecure and unstable attachment to the parent.

Discipline

Attachment parents seek to understand the biological and psychological needs of the child, and to avoid unrealistic expectations of child behavior. In setting age-appropriate boundaries and limits, attachment parenting takes into account the physical and psychological stage of development that the child is currently experiencing. In this way, parents may seek to avoid frustration that occurs when they expect things beyond the child's capability. According to Arnall (2007), discipline means teaching the child by gentle guidance, using tools such as re-direction, natural consequences, listening and modeling, rather than punitive means such as spanking, time-out, grounding, and punitive consequences.

Attachment parenting holds that it is vital to the child's survival that they are capable of communicating their needs to adults, and to have those needs promptly met. This does not mean meeting a need that a child can fulfill itself, nor (argues Dr Sears) is it necessarily open to exploitation by children; while still an infant, says Dr Sears, a child is mentally incapable of outright manipulation.

Rather, the focus is on identifying unmet needs and responding appropriately. APs are encouraged to understand what these needs are, when they arise, how they change over time and circumstances, and how to flexibly devise appropriate responses. AP proponents establish these responses by looking at child development and infant and child biology, to determine psychologically and biologically appropriate responses at different stages of development.

Similar practices are called natural parenting, instinctive parenting, intuitive parenting, immersion parenting or continuum concept parenting.

Practical aspects

Attachment parenting can interfere with a couple's sex life and socializing, but can eliminate the cost of strollers and cots.

Criticisms and controversies

• Strenuous and Demanding on Parents. One criticism of attachment parenting is that it can be very strenuous and demanding on parents. Without a support network of helpful friends or family, the work of parenting can be difficult. Writer Judith Warner contends that a “culture of total motherhood”, which she blames in part on attachment parenting, has led to an “age of anxiety” for mothers in modern American society. Sociologist Sharon Hays argues that the "ideology of intensive mothering" imposes unrealistic obligations and perpetuates a "double shift" life for working women.

• Not Supported by Conclusive Research. Another criticism is that there is no conclusive or convincing body of research that shows this labor-intensive approach to be in any way superior to what attachment parents term "mainstream parenting" in the long run.

• Co-Sleeping. The American Academy of Pediatrics's policy SIDS prevention opposes bed-sharing with infants (though it does encourage room-sharing). The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission also warns against co-sleeping. Attachment Parenting International issued a response which stated that the data referenced in the Consumer Product Safety Commission statement was unreliable, and that co-sponsors of the campaign had created a conflict of interest.

• Non-DSM Definition of Reactive Attachment Disorder. Attachment Parenting International (API) utilizes an attachment therapy resource (Peachtree Attachment Resources) to define reactive attachment disorder, which claims the criteria are based on the DSM-IV. Attachment therapy definitions and symptoms lists of RAD have been criticised as being very different to DSM-TR criteria and as being "non-specific" and "wildly inclusive", producing a high rate of "false-positives."
• Ambiguities in usage. A form of parenting called attachment parenting is sometimes used as an adjunct to attachment therapy. The term "attachment parenting" is increasingly co-opted by proponents of controversial techniques conventionally associated with attachment therapy such as Nancy Thomas, whose AP methods differ from those of William Sears.

See also

• Affectional bond
• Attachment disorder
• Attachment in children
• Attachment Parenting International
• Child psychotherapy
• Elimination communication

• Gentle Christian Mothers
• La Leche League International
• Mom's Breastaurant
• Shared parenting

Additional reading

• Nicholson, Barbara & Lysa Parker.(2009.Attached at the Heart: 8 Proven Parenting Principles for Raising Compassionate and Connected Children. IN: iUniverse Star.
• Gerber, Magda, Johnson, Allison.(1998.Your Self-Confident Baby; How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities From Very Start. NY: John Wiley and Sons, Inc.
• Arnall, Judy, (2007) Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery." Canada, Professional Parenting Canada
• Gonzales-Mena, J. & Eyer, W. D.(2004).Infants, Toddlers, and Caregivers: A Curriculum of Respectful, Responsive Care and Education (6th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill.
• Lally, J. Ronald (Ed.).(1990).Infant Toddler Caregivers: A Guide to Social-Emotional Growth and Socialization. San Francisco, CA: WestEd.
• Stages of socio-emotional development in children and teenagers, 1-5. Retrieved September 19, 2007,from http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/development/erickson.shtml

External links

Attachment Parenting at Curlie